it's priest,
have a little priest.
is it really good?
sir it's too good, at least

-Sweeney Todd

it is uncharacteristically long
just like the word uncharacteristically
which is also uncharacteristically long
that's something to think about.

-theenvylover

Just Another Bella and Daughter Story

"Oh thank God you're alright!" Alice shouted into the cell phone.

"Yes, we both are, so stop worrying and such…" I answered back, a finger in one of my ears.

"We're on our way there right now," she said hurriedly. "Don't you do anything stupid now, you hear?"

"Stupid? Why, whatever do you mean?" I asked sarcastically. Fredrik came into the room with three pairs of stilettos from either Alice's or Rosalie's closet. He set them on the table and motioned for me to pick. 'For a wedding?' I mouthed to him. He shrugged and said that there was nothing else. I stifled a chuckle before I threw the white pair at his face. He caught them and grinned, setting them down and taking the others back upstairs.

"'Stupid' as in planning a wedding without Rose and I. As in what you're planning as we speak!"

I took Mom's hair back out of my pocket and slid it under a new hair tie.

"We gave up on the wedding …" Fredrik came in again with three dresses from Alice's closet. I shook my head and mouthed 'too small'. He shook his head back and measured a dress to my side. It didn't even fall past my hips. I smiled at his attempt and shook my head again. 'Try something from Rose's closet'. "…due to certain circumstances…" I finished.

"Hmph… so I see…"

"So there is no need to worry…" I ended. Fredrik came back in the room with a dress that looked like it was torn in half vertically. 'Her's are all short too,' he mouthed trying to hold back a smile. I groaned softly and passed by him to find a suitable wedding dress.

I started in Alice's room first; hoping to find something long enough to cover at least a part of my legs but everything was as I feared: short. I rolled my eyes as I went to find something in Rose's closet. As I walked into the hallway I saw Fredrik walk up the stairs only to walk back down as soon as he saw me. That was a premonition if anything. I hurried into Rose's room, as if it would make any difference.

I threw open the closet and it was worse than I could have feared. Every single dress had been ripped to the same length as Alice's dresses. "I'm going to have to call you back," I told Alice before hanging up and turning my attention to the door.

"Sweetie?" I asked into the hallway.

"Yes, Dear?" Fredrik answered from the other side of the house. He was getting a head start.

"Could you please come here, Darling?" I called through gritted teeth. I accidentally destroyed the cell phone in my right hand.

"No can do, Sugar Lumps!" he called from even further away.

"Why not, Honey Bunch?"

"Because I fear for my life Allie Cat!"

I sighed and hoped that Fredrik hadn't ransacked Esme's closet. I thanked the dress gods when I opened her closet and found more than enough proper length dresses. I pulled out a white one and tried it on.

For some strange reason it fit perfectly. I vaguely wondered if Alice had planned this all along and slipped the dress in when no one was looking. It was the perfect wedding dress and more importantly; it was long enough. I traded the stilettos Fredrik had picked for my old converses. It wasn't like anybody was going to see them anyways, right?

I patted the dress down and went to search for Fredrik. After checking the living room a few times and searching the garage I wandered out back to see if he had actually run away. I couldn't see him from where I was standing so I decided to check out front. As I stood in the driveway, looking back at the house, something grabbed me from behind. I smelled it before I saw it.

"Let go of me you dirty mutt!" I yelled as I kicked around. One of Jacob's little wolf minions had grabbed me with one arm around my waist. I only had squirrel blood to work with but that was enough to squirm out of my captor's arm and fall to the ground on my butt. I got up quickly and dusted myself off before taking off towards the house.

I thought I was home free when I was tackled out of left field (literally; from the left). I'm not talking two-hand touch tackle, I mean, full NFL style tackling. A group of three of them secured my limbs and head as they dragged me into the back of an old beat up van.

To say it was cramped would be an understatement. To say there was enough room to breathe would be a lie. To say that anybody in that van was comfortable would make me laugh.

There were five of them. One drove while the other four kept me in place. Well, at least I think that was the plan. Instead, the four in the back fought for the windows in 'a desperate attempt to breathe' but I didn't find anything wrong with the way I smelled. I, being the nice person that I am, just decided to stop breathing instead of clawing my way out of the window.

Then I realized that I should be clawing my way out of the window. What were they going to do, jump after me? I didn't take them as being the self-sacrificing type.

"God! I need to breathe!" I exclaimed as I climbed over somebody's back to get to a window. "Do you know how much you dogs stink?!"

The back I was climbing on started to shake.

"You don't have to breathe," he growled as he turned suddenly, sliding me off his back.

"Fine, fine…" I mumbled. "Touchy…"

I looked around for a different escape route. I thought about using the passenger's window but I was sure to be caught either before I jumped or after. I leaned my head back in frustration and that was when I saw it; my escape route. The window in the back of the van didn't open like the other windows so they weren't anywhere near it. I tried to think of how to sneak back there unnoticed but every time I moved, their eyes flicked to me. I decided to try to 'breathe' again.

"I don't like holding my breath," I complained as I climbed over the same back as before. "I like breathing."

"Yeah?" the back asked angrily. "Well, I happen to like my personal space." And with that he threw me to the back of the van. In midair I grabbed my legs and formed a little cannonball, propelling myself through the window and out of my kidnappers' car.

I grinned at my accomplishment and took off in the direction we had come.

After a minute of straight running I realized that I had no idea where I was. Instead of taking me to that jerk's house they left me in the middle of nowhere. Well, actually, Fredrik and I came to this middle of nowhere, but these guys left me in the middle of the middle of nowhere!

I decided to stop someone and ask for directions. I figured that maybe I could navigate my way back to the house from the main road, or at least from the sports equipment store. The only problem was that I was on a completely straight road and for miles I couldn't see a single person. I just decided to keep running; towards where I figured the house was and away from the wolf-mobile that I figured had turned around to chase me by now.

After a full three minutes of straight running I could finally see a car in the distance. I was so relieved to have someone find me out here that I just plopped down where I was and waited for them. The feeling of being picked up in a wedding dress reminded me of something I had seen before in some movie. I finally realized that I looked like the girl from Smokey and the Bandit. I snorted to myself as I kept waiting for the car to reach me.

As I waited (it was further away than I thought it was) I started wondering about things that I should've wondered about before. Things such as "why did they kidnap me?" Well, actually, that was the only thing on my mind...

Why did they kidnap me?

We had already told them off, escaped them, and begun our happy ending, but those guys didn't seem to want that to happen. Why did they kidnap me when Jacob wasn't even there? Was it something he was against? Were they planning on killing me? I figured that the one I climbed on might want to kill me, and I was sure that they wanted to kill me when we first met but if they really wanted to kill me then why not in the yard? Why take me somewhere else?

I looked back at the car and saw that it was finally making its way over to me. I got up and dusted off my butt before turning to the car expectedly. As the car came closer I wanted to smack myself when I saw who was in the driver's seat.

i got bored and didn't edit it.
sorry.

so i saw Sweeney Todd again today
i guess with all of the fuss over my "A Little Priest" story
i just really had the urge to see it.
like a craving when you're on your period...
...
...
yeah..

anywho,
like i said before--
i'm not good with details
so i'm sorry if you don't get a vivid picture of...
anything, really...

also-
i don't know what alice's dress looks like;
anybody wanna help me out?

and-
i don't know who pulled up;
i have two guesses but they both provide problems for the future
which, as you can imagine, can be very problematic

thanks for reading this
(since only nine people read my Luke Rowley update from yesterday
::grumble:grumble::)
and if you want- there's a new poll on my page
check it out

-theenvylover