This chapter references events from "Plain Sight."
Reid took a deep breath and knocked gently on the closed office door. "Come in," JJ's voice called out distractedly. He cautiously walked inside and stood just over the threshold, fidgeting nervously. He didn't speak and finally JJ looked up from her stack of paperwork. "Hey Birthday Boy! I'm right in the middle of something."
"I'm sorry to interrupt JJ. I just wanted to talk to you for a minute if that's ok."
"Sure Spence, what's up?" He walked further into her office and shut the door behind him. He was too anxious to sit, so he stood in front of her desk and leaned against a chair.
"I actually need you to do me a favor."
"Ok, what is it?"
"I, um…I need for you not to call me 'Spence' anymore." The look of pure surprise on her face made what he had to do even more difficult than it already was. "I don't know if you know you're the only one that calls me that, but I really hate it."
"Oh. Ok sure Sp-Reid." Though she tried to sound cheery and upbeat, it didn't take a profiler to notice the disappointment in her tone or see the confusion and hurt in her eyes. Damn, I knew this wouldn't go over well.
"Look, JJ it isn't because of you, really, and it has nothing to do with the game yesterday. It's just the name itself."
"It's ok, I understand. I'll be sure to remember that from now on." She turned back to her files abruptly, and every about her body language screamed to him that she was upset. He sighed deeply and paced the length of her office with his head down.
"No, JJ, you don't understand. The only other person that ever called me 'Spence' was my father." He paused as he debated yet again whether or not he should share this information with her. No, it's already decided, he reminded himself. I have to tell her or she'll think it's about the whole "I just want to be friends" thing. He looked up and saw that she was watching him, waiting for him to continue. He took another deep breath. "My father is a wanted sex offender, has been for over twenty years." He watched her eyes widen in shock and the folder she was reading fell to her desk. "Only a few people know this," he stopped pacing and gave her a hard stare until she nodded her understanding. "CAC has been searching for him for years now. Anyway, his first victims were some boys that lived near us and a girl from the school down the street. He started with me when I was four." He paused to let the words sink in. "I don't think my mom knew, at least not until years later. That's part of the reason why he left; that plus the accusations that were coming out from the neighborhood kids. When he left, he assumed another identity and hasn't been seen since."
He glanced up to see JJ leaning forward with her arms on her desk and her hands over her mouth and tears pooled in her eyes. He hated himself for telling her this-no one should know this stuff- but there was a reason behind this confession. "I'm telling you this so you'll understand my feelings. My father only ever called me 'Spence' when he…" he deliberately trailed off, letting her imagination and years of exposure to crimes of this nature fill in the blanks for him. He could tell the moment the terrible realization hit her. "Afterwards, he always went back to 'Spencer' like everyone else. So just hearing the nickname…well, it makes me think of him. I don't want you to be associated with those memories."
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry Reid. I wish I had known!"
"I didn't want you, or anyone else, to know. I try to keep those sordid details in the past. But I just had to let you know so it wouldn't make our work relationship or our friendship strained." She just stared at him with a horrified expression. He decided it was time to lighten the mood. "So now, JJ Jareau, it is your mission to find me a new nickname." She lifted her head in surprise.
"But…I can't…" she protested softly.
"Sure you can. I'm counting on you to be creative." He gave her the best smile he could muster and walked toward the door. He laid his hand on the knob before turning to face her again. "JJ, don't stress over it, and please don't be upset. I didn't tell you this to make you sad. It's in the past, and it's made me good at what I do now. I just didn't want you to think I was holding hard feelings against you."
She nodded her head forcefully. "I know. Thank you for trusting me." She still looked shell-shocked, but at least the miserable expression had lessened a tiny bit. He tipped his head in response and left her to ponder his revelation.