Hi everyone! I'm finally back on my feet and ready to write away for you, just because of all your support for this story! I'm sorry I didn't reply to most of the reviews, so I'm gonna do it here, now:

Kat priestley: Thank you so much! I really try to get into those character's heads, which sometimes isn't as easy as it sounds.

Megan: Thank you too! This one's a little longer than the last one, but somehow I find the length quite okay. I don't wanna write 10 pages, because I've come to know that less people tend to read that, because it just takes too much time.

Addisonkarev: I already wrote you back, but thank you again for your support for all of my stories!

addexlover: Yeah, I liked the flashback too, even though that was the last think I've added to the last chapter. I hope you like the one from this chapter too!

Lora Perry: Thanks girl! I'm glad you liked it and hope you keep continue reading and reviewing!

Addiekatefan: Well here's the update you wished for! It didn't take me too long did it?

HuntingPeace: Thank you! There's some Addisex in this chapter, but not too much. I have to approach that carefully. I keep in mind to write some Laura/Addison interactions later!

Right Hand Blue: Yeah, his childhood really sucked, at least that's how I imagined it to be for him. Thanks for the review.

gizzifan118: Yeah I did have fun on my trip thank you (I could go on and on about it here, but no one wants to read that probably;) There's a short Addex-scene in this chapter and I'm working on how to get them closer so that it doesn't seem rushed and forced. Yeah, I loved the thing with Meredith too, he's so good at shutting people out! Thanks for the awesome review!

mistysparks: Here's the update you've been waiting for! I hope you keep reading and reviewing!

McLonely: What can I say except for "you rock girl!" I already replied to your review, but I wanna thank you again for your huge support! Your long reviews always make me smile, even if I read them for the 100th time or so! I hope you like this chapter too and I can't wait to hear what you think about it!

charmedbabywyatt: Thank you for your review! I hope you keep enjoying the story!

Okay, so now that's done and here you go: Chapter 4 of "Help me forget"

Chapter 4

Somehow the way to Dr. Bailey's office seemed so much shorter than he remembered it to be. She walked past the nurses station with Alex tagging along after her like a chastised puppy when he spotted a confused looking Meredith, who probably thought that Dr. Bailey had found out about his faked on call room date and was gonna give him a long speech about the importance of staying professional in "her" hospital and that she was gonna write him up to the chief about his behaviour. The truth was, that this would have been so much easier for him to accept. He could take being yelled at, that was something he had been used to for a long time but he feared that what was about to come his way was worse than all the shouting in the world. Compassion and pity, sympathy and kindness, and the usual "I'm so sorry this happened to you and your sister" which he found so condescending and unearned that he always immediately recalled rule No. 1 his wrestling teacher taught him.

"Alex, I…" Dr. Bailey started after she had shut the door behind them.

Attack's the best defence

"What do you want from me?" He cut her off and almost spat the words out (the question being his attack) and immediately realised that it had sounded rather impolite but as always, rudeness was his way of keeping people away at least a few feet, to prevent them from seeing past his wall, at least for as long as he was able to keep it up, so he ignored the sudden need to apologize to his superior.

"Take a seat Dr. Karev!" Dr. Bailey ordered and Alex got the feeling that he had pissed her off, at least a little bit but complied and sat down on the chair that faced Dr. Bailey's desk. She small woman had already opened Laura's file and took out the chest x-ray, handing it over to the younger doctor. Alex took it and held it up towards the bright neon light, pretending to study it, to give him some more time to think of a possible excuse to run from the looming interrogation that was surely to follow. Actually he wouldn't have needed to even look at it. Well maybe he would have because the 4th and 5th rib were both broken for the 4th time all together. But the rest of it he knew by heart.

In his first year in med school they'd all been impressed by how well he'd already been able to spot fractures on x-rays where others didn't even see a crack. What they didn't know was the cruel background that implied this "admirable" ability. Back then he'd wished he'd never seen an x-ray before, like some of his innocent schoolmates.

"Alex?" Dr. Bailey asked after a minute when Alex was still holding the x-ray and didn't say anything. Somehow it seemed that he was lost in his own thoughts. He could tell that she waited for a reaction, a possible astonishment about what he saw, but he couldn't give her that, because he wasn't surprised at all.

"Alex?" He heard her again, sounding somehow a little concerned because his eyes were still glued to that x-ray, but he was fighting an internal battle with himself about what he should reveal and what he should keep to himself. He wondered what she knew and quickly went over some of the events:

The beating – they knew that, because of her films and the bruises and the small internal bleeding

The suicide-attempt – yeah, he was sure they had figured that one out already, those scars weren't easy to hide. They didn't need to know that she tried more than once though.

Their fucked up childhood – They didn't know anything about that yet but they weren't stupid. If they took a closer look at her medical records, they'd figure it out sooner or later anyway. They weren't gonna see their police records though because they were sealed and not given out to hospitals anyway…..It wasn't until Dr. Bailey touched his hand lightly that he finally snapped out of it and quickly pulled his hand back, placing it in his lap like the small physical gesture to get him out of his reverie had been too much for him to handle.

„Alex, I know this must be very difficult for you, but do you have any idea what happened to your sister? Bailey asked him quietly when Alex handed her back the x-ray. Bailey had Laura's chart still unfolded in front of her.

He snorted a little at that. Where did she come from to tell him that this was difficult for him? Their past was so much harder than she could ever imagine. He had thought that he was done with it when he left his hometown for college. Apparently though, the past always comes back to haunt you and there's no hiding from it.

"I'm sorry Dr. Bailey…..I…….fuck………..can I just see her please?" He pleaded with her to let him go, so that he could see his sister.

"It looks like she got beaten up pretty badly Alex. She's also severely dehydrated and hasn't eaten in days. Her driver's license says she lives in Chicago, is that true?"

What the hell is this? A freaking police interrogation? He though to himself

"I don't know. Listen Dr. Bailey, I haven't spoken to her in a long time." He stated quietly, hoping that she'd let him go soon.

Miranda tried to avoid asking him about the past because she feared his answer but by now she'd run out of other things to ask that seemed remotely relevant for this case and she knew, the moment she started to make small talk Alex would storm out anyway. She knew she had to approach this carefully, without showing too many emotions.

"Alex, we haven't gotten your sisters medical records yet, they're faxing them over right now but the x-rays seem to suggest that……was she?……….I mean were you too……….?" She couldn't bring herself to speak the word that was gonna throw her assumptions of who she thought Alex was overboard completely. He seemed to have had enough though and finally let it out.

"Abused you mean? Now you know why I'm such a fucked up and pathetic excuse for a human being and why my sister's lying in the ICU, being fed through a tube with internal bleeding and broken ribs." He burst out and when he saw the pure shock on Dr. Bailey's face he turned to leave and slammed the door shut behind him.

--

He was 9 when his father first laid a hand on him. And when he thought about that his mother had been abused for years, as long as he can remember, and that his dad even started to let his aggressions out on Laura, he was "lucky" enough to be spared up to this day. His mother was at work at the nearby supermarket so that they could at least afford to buy food every week, while their dad was still waiting for his "big break". As always, Alex had made sure that Laura could stay at a schoolmate's house until their mother returned home later that evening. Ever since the time he walked in on him slapping his little sister he had arranged for her to stay away from their house whenever their mum wasn't around. It was one of these days where just everything went downhill. His teacher had sent him to the principal's office once again for not paying attention in class. It wasn't that he did it on purpose but he was just not challenged enough. He probably could have skipped a grade or two, had his parents ever really given a damn about him and bothered to show up at a parent-teacher conference. Instead he was stuck in this stupid class with his brainless classmates who still believed in Santa Clause and the Tooth Fairy. So he got himself into detention again, which wouldn't have been a bad thing, could he have avoided going home all together, but he needed to get back and clean up after his dad had finished his daily drinking exodus. If it was really bad, like today, he would also find used syringes lying on the floor that he needed to dispose of before Laura got back. So he started to collect the empty bottles of vodka and scotch and he couldn't quite remember what else when suddenly his dad stumbled into the living room.

The last thing he saw was his father throwing a punch in his direction.

The next thing he knew, he's lying on a gurney in the ER with his arm in a cast.

That day he'd broken his right wrist for the first time.

Apparently he'd fallen down the stairs.

--

After leaving Dr. Bailey's office rather suddenly he jogged straight to the ICU ward, because he knew that Laura would be lying there. He moved as quickly as possible, so that the short woman had no chance to pursue him, at least not right now. He knew that she'd show up there sooner or later but usually they (meaning the people who had only gotten a little glimpse at his childhood, because he sure as hell never revealed anything too big) usually chose to give him a compassionate look and then ignored him, because they didn't know what to say. That's what he wanted anyway. For anybody in this fucking hospital to just leave him a-feaking-lone and let him deal with everything that's been happening in these past hours by himself. But apparently that wasn't gonna happen because as soon as he entered the ICU ward, his eyes met with beautiful blue ones and he found his thoughts drifting off slightly because the gorgeousness of them aroused a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach. A feeling that almost felt a little like….

"Dr. Karev" Addison spoke softly when she saw him enter. During the past few minutes she'd been sitting with his sister, over-viewing some charts and trying to figure out a way to handle this situation. She struggled really hard to see everything with her usually exceptionally professional attitude but when she remembered that it had only been about 7 hours and 56 minutes since he had given her an earth shattering orgasm in one of the on call rooms it was understandable that this proved to be more difficult than with any other case. He slowly approached them and Addison couldn't help but stare at him.

God his face is so hard to read. Is he mad at me? Does he want me to leave? Should I run? Is he going to yell? What the hell is he doing? Addison thought within a split second when Alex pulled up a chair and sat down next to her and his sister. He reached over and took Laura's hand into his, being mindful of the IV that stuck out of it.

"Dr. Montgomery" He stated dryly while squeezing his sisters hand. Giving her a look that could only be described as cold and distant.

"Laura? Can you hear me?" He asked a little bit softer. His sister didn't move.

"She's asleep Alex" Yeah like he couldn't have figured that one out by himself. After all they didn't call him doctor for nothing. "We have her on a light sedative, because Dr. Bailey thinks that it's a good idea to leave the NG-tube in for a little while longer. It looks like she hasn't eaten anything in days." She told him carefully and compassionately. "She won't wake up for a few more hours, so if you want to….." but he cut her off

"No I won't leave her again….I'm fine right here." He said a little more loudly and chastised himself for raising his voice at her twice in only about 30 minutes.

"Don't you have a surgery scheduled or patients to see?" He asked bluntly and dismissing, hoping that she would just leave his wretched ass sitting there alone with his unconscious sibling. She couldn't care. He wouldn't pull her into this mess, he wouldn't allow that to happen. He had to make sure that she was gonna stay out of this because he didn't want her to hurt along with them. Life wasn't fair but he wouldn't let another person he cared for, possible the only person her really cared for, suffer just because it was easier for him. Which meant he had to keep her away.

Without saying anything else she gathered her things and headed for the elevator with Alex's eyes following ever single one of her steps.

I can't wait to hear what you guys think! Suggestions are always welcome!

-Christine