Happy Thanksgiving! Silver, Draye told me anything I have you down as saying, if it doesn't sound like you, blame her.

Chapter 2: Thanksgiving From Hell

The doorbell rang. Draye, Silver Sliver and I, Emerald Tiara, leapt up from the computer and raced for the door. Laughing, we opened the door and all three stopped in mid-giggle. Because Eragon stood in front of us.

"Oh no, not you…" muttered Silver.

Draye and I were whimpering with distaste. Then behind Eragon, Murtagh appeared.

We stopped in mid-whimper.

I drooled. "Come in, come in," said Draye graciously. "Thanksgiving dinner will be served shortly."

"Um, Draye," I muttered nervously, "we don't have a turkey."

Silver whipped one out from behind her back. "Yes we do."

"Its dangerous to leave the door open," said a voice. Standing in the doorway was Envy and Wrath and Roy.

"Where's Lust? I thought she said she was coming," asked Silver.

"She decided to go to Scar's instead," said Gluttony who then turned up.

"Oh, for God's sake," I complained, but then Leia and Padme and pre-Dark Side Anakin showed up.

"Are we late?" asked someone. Darren and Evra were looking over Leia's shoulder.

"Dinner is served," announced Silver, who had somehow managed to come up with a turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, sweet potatoes, and cranberry sauce all in the space of three seconds.

"How did you do that?" asked Darren.

"Alchemy," she replied.

"…Alrighty then," I muttered. I herded everyone into the dining room. Quickly setting the table, I looked at the seating cards Draye had set out and glared at her. Why, oh why was I sitting next to Envy? Wrath plopped down beside me. "Hi," I said, as Silver got up to make a speech. Wrath waved absentmindedly. Anakin winked suggestively at Draye. She and Padme gave him the finger.

"Okay! Welcome to the first Thanksgiving Emerald has ever had since joining said Silver. Nobody paid any attention. She looked at me pleadingly and I tossed her a judge's gavel. She banged on the table. "ORDER! ORDER!" Everybody shut up. "Now then. Let us be reminded of what this day represents. We take this day to remember what we are grateful for. Let's go around the table and say what we are thankful for."

Envy: "I'm thankful…….I don't know. I guess I'm thankful that I finally got to kill Hohenheim." ("Amen to that," I breathed.)

Emerald (me): "I'm thankful that they came out with the Christmas flavors at Starbucks, because I love Peppermint Mocha Frappuchinos."

Wrath: "I'm thankful for both my Mommies, Sloth and Izumi."

Roy: "I'm thankful for my mad skillz with fire."

Draye: "I'm thankful for…um…rock candy! And, uh, Tippy my computer, and beer, and blood, and friends. Friends that listen to my ravings and love me even though I try to kill them every chapter."

Darren: "I'm thankful that the vampaneze haven't killed me yet."

Evra: "I'm thankful…….for snakes, I guess. Maybe. I don't know!"

Eragon: "I'm thankful for being able to kill things with magic."

Murtagh: "I'm thankful that Eragon hasn't killed me yet. I mean, he's sitting right next to me and he hates my guts."

Leia: "I'm thankful that I can still order people around even though Alderaan blew up."

Anakin: "I'm thankful that I can get away with marrying Padme behind the Council's back."

Padme: "Ditto."

Gluttony: "I'm thankful Dante's dead."

Silver: "I'm thankful for books and sugar and alchemy. Okay, now that that's over with, Thanksgiving is a time of coming together. This is when the Pilgrims realized that the Indians weren't so bad after all. So tonight, we must all put aside our differences" (she glared at Envy and I) "and remember that on the inside, we are al peoplWOOMPH!"

Wrath had thrown a mashed potato spoonful at her. "Be diverse, three of us don't have souls!"

"FOOD FIGHT!!!" I screamed, and ducked as Envy took the opportunity to hurl half the turkey at me. Eragon had strung drumsticks onto his bow and was firing at all and sundry.

Anakin had taken to a more defensive approach, and was returning anything thrown at him with the Force. Padme had a blaster and was shooting the missiles as they came at her. Leia was doing the same. Wrath had taken over the bowl of potatoes and was sling shooting them everywhere. Roy had set the stuffing on fire and was throwing the fiery missiles at Draye.

Darren and Evra were back to back, catching and throwing anything that came their way. I had leapt up onto the counter and was tossing gobs of cranberry sauce at Roy. Murtagh was using his sword as a baseball bat to deflect all bombardment. Draye had tackled Envy and was smooshing sweet potatoes into his hair.

Gluttony was just eating everything, and Silver was taking them from below. Her method of attack: stuff turkey into their socks.

Finally I screamed at the top of my lungs. "EVERYBODY SIT DOWN!"

They sat. Silver transmuted the dinner back to normal, and we ate.

Then it was time for dessert. (Dun dun dunnn…)

I brought out an apple pie and a pumpkin pie. Then Draye brought out something.

"Look at what I made, Emerald!" she said.

I looked at the reddish pudding. "What the hell is that?"

"Taste it!" she insisted.

"Why, is it poisoned? Should I be scared?" I asked, bemused.

Draye glared at me. "Just taste it!"

I tasted it. "Hmm, its actually good. What is it?"

"Blood pudding, with real human blood!" she smiled.

I gagged. "I think I need to use the bathroom."

She looked at Darren. "It isnt that bad, is it?"

He snorted. "Vampires."

"What?" She looked around. "Envy…" the green-haired homunculus walked away, shaking his head. "Oh come on, I'm not that bad of a cook, Wrath you try some."

"No way in hell!" replied the evil child.

"Silver?"

"No thank you," shuddered the girl. "I like living."

"Hmph. Roy, come on, you would never turn down a woman's cooking, would you?"

The Flame Alchemist wandered over. "No, I wouldn't. Hey, that's pretty good. What is it?"

"…Blood pudding."

He lurched to his feet. "Must...go…bathroom…"

"I think Emerald's already in there," called Draye. "Leia, want to try?"

"I guess so…" she took a spoonful. "What is it?"

"Blood pudding." The ex-princess of Alderaan clapped her hand over her mouth and ran.

"Already taken! said the vampire. "Nobody likes my cooking." She sighed. "Oh well, I guess I'll eat it."

Before she could eat anything, Gluttony ate the entire thing. "HEY! THAT WAS MY BLOOD PUDDING!" yelled Draye.

"Blood….pudding…?" said the fat thing. "Gluttony need bathroom!"

"Sorry, but I think they formed a line!"

Aww, nobody likes Draye's blood pudding…. Come on, people, and review! I know at least 15 of you have read this.

Azulcat: thanks anyway…

Draye: Calm down, I'll go into more detail later. Yes, I will blame Nella!

Okay people, I know you're reading! I repeat: if you wish to be featured in a chapter, PM me with the name you would like to be referred to as and the fandom of your choice, as well as what character you wish to annoy.