DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything Twilight.

What good is a life

with no one to share

-Gavin DeGraw

Chapter 1

Dawn broke through the heavy crimson drapes that covered my windows. I arose from my bed and stood in front of the window, gazing out into the rainy, overcast April morning. I feigned sleepiness as I walked into the kitchen to start my Krups coffee machine. This was my daily routine just to keep my roommates, Liz and Teresa, thinking that I was like them – human. I cooked breakfast for them every morning, which seemed to keep them happy as well. The girls liked that I kept to myself and didn't make too much noise or leave messes. I made sure to interact with them like girlfriends, since the only girlfriends I'd ever had disappeared from my life all those years go.

I began assembling the ingredients for pancakes, contemplating the meaning of my vision from the previous evening. I found that after being changed, I possessed multiple powers. I could hear the thoughts of the humans around me, I had premonitions, and I could manipulate the emotions of those around me. It seemed ironic to me that I would possess the powers of Jasper, Alice and…him. I didn't dare speak or think his name -- ever. The pain attached to it was too great for me to bear, even if I was not human, and that gaping wound that closed up would re-open.

In my vision, I was at my part time job – waitressing at a small diner that the college students frequented – when I subtly sniffed the air around me and smelled a familiar scent, but it was one I could not put my finger on. I was behind the counter, pouring coffee and making friendly conversation with several of the elderly regulars. The bell over the door jingled and I heard a distinct voice in my head. My eyes locked with the golden orbs of the customer who had just walked through the door. I stood frozen, and the coffee pot in my hand dropped and shattered on the floor.

Then I snapped out of it. I'd had other visions before where he would return, and think nothing of them, since they never came to fruition. This one seemed too real to me, like I was actually there. It reminded me of one of those dreams that would leave you feeling not quite right whenever you woke up from them.

I shook my head to clear it as I began to mix up the batter for my pancakes. I tended not to use my vampire speed whenever I was home or around many humans. I tried to remain as nondescript as possible so I would not be suspected. I heard footsteps in the hall around the corner from the kitchen and knew that Liz was awake. Her walk had a slight limp to it from an old soccer injury where she had torn her ACL and it was never the same after surgery.

"Good morning," I said as she entered the kitchen. "Coffee is ready."

"Bella, you are a lifesaver," she mumbled, yawning. She opened the cabinet above her head and reached for her University of Washington mug. "What classes do you have today?"

"Just English and Algebra this morning," I replied. "Then I have to work until midnight at the diner."

"That must suck." Actually, it doesn't. "Are you coming to the party on Friday? At the Phi Kappa Mu house?"

"More than likely. I have the night off, so I might suck it up and join you girls." We shared a laugh as I began pouring the batter onto the screaming hot griddle.

"Ooh pancakes!" Teresa squealed as she padded into the kitchen, causing Liz to jump. I snickered to myself at Liz's reaction, thanking my blessed vampire hearing.

Bella's acting a bit weird today. I hope she's alright.

I briefly froze as Teresa's voice echoed in my mind. I didn't dare turn to look at her, but I felt her eyes on the back of my head. Had my heart been alive, it would have been thudding uncontrollably and a blush would redden the apples of my cheeks.

"Bella?" Liz tapped me on the shoulder. "You alright?"

"I'm fine, yes." I pulled the now-finished pancakes off the griddle and poured more batter.

"Bella, something bothering you?" Teresa asked as she poured her coffee.

"Oh, I just had a strange dream last night. I don't feel quite right today." I busied myself with cutting strawberries and kiwi fruit to accompany the pancakes.

She is full of shit, her voice echoed in my head. Bitch, look me in the eye and tell me you're fine.

I turned and smiled my dazzling smile at Teresa. "Really, Treese, I'm fine."

"Just making sure. So I heard you're coming to the party this Friday."

"I'm going to try to make it. I have a few labs to finish for biology class."

"Well, I think it's going to be one awesome party. The Phi Kappa Mu guys are so hot."

"They aren't half bad looking," I mused. But they aren't him. No one could ever compare to my own personal sun.

I slammed the knife down on the counter, a fit of rage coursing through my veins. I felt the beginnings of a growl rumbling deep in my chest. I always hated when I allowed my mind to drift to thoughts of him. I took a few unnecessary deep breaths and composed myself before continuing to cut the fruit.

"Um, Bella," Liz began. "The pancakes are starting to burn."

"Fuck!" I cursed as I grabbed my spatula and pulled the griddle off the burner. Luckily, the pancakes were dark but not burnt. "Sorry guys." I began piling them onto the plate with the others, and then set it on the counter.

"No, it's fine. I like them this way." Liz grabbed a plate and began taking what she wanted to eat, leaving the rest for Teresa.

I set the bowl of fruit beside the pancakes and headed out of the kitchen.

"Bella? Aren't you hungry?"

"You guys take what you want. I'll grab a few before I leave for campus."

I began walking into the hall, and then hurried to my bedroom, shutting the door behind me, and leaning back against it gently. I buried my face in my hands, running my fingers through my hair, and took a few more deep breaths. I hated when my human memories would overtake me, and it seemed to happen at the most inopportune times. Summoning my anger toward him in front of my roommates was not allowed in my book. It was as if he was in my head, controlling my thoughts, like a puppet master. I would have thought that with my new invincible body, my heart would follow suit, but apparently, it didn't. I could hear my heart disassembling in my chest with every thought of him.

I removed my clothes and looked at myself in my full-length mirror. I had pale, milky skin, almost translucent. My body was perfectly shaped, curvy, and a four-pack outline etched my abdomen. My breasts were significantly larger than they had been when I was human. My hair cascaded down my shoulders and to the middle of my back, perfectly brunette and wavy. My eyes glowed gold and my eyebrows arched in the middle, as if I had them waxed every day. My lips were still the same – full and almost ruby red.

Shortly after my change, I would often do this in my bedroom back in Forks, just gaping in awe of the perfection that was now mine, after all those years of feeling strangely imperfect among the Cullen family. I ran my hands over my marble skin, the coldness of it both delicious and alarming at the same time.

I looked at the time and saw that if I didn't get a move on, I would be late for class. I began my normal routine of shower, blow dry and style my hair, and apply my make-up before assembling the day's outfit. As much as I had hated Alice using me as her own personal Barbie doll, I did actually pay attention whenever she would give me makeovers. I took direction from Alice and Rosalie to look beautiful at all times, even when I wasn't feeling up to it. I had to maintain an image otherwise, I would be exposed.

As soon as I was dressed, I grabbed my bag and headed out the door, thanking heaven that Liz and Teresa were not in the kitchen to question me about not eating breakfast. I felt a presence behind me as I walked to my vehicle, parked in the garage just around the corner from my building. I turned around quickly, but there was no one there. I felt it when I was walking around campus, too. I simply brushed it off as paranoia and headed to my car after class.

I drove downtown toward the diner, trying to avoid getting in an accident with one of the crazy drivers on the road. I pulled up in front of the diner, and said a silent prayer, asking that my vision not become reality tonight. I honestly didn't think I could handle it. I pushed open the heavy glass door and the bell rang above my head. The few patrons in the diner looked up briefly and then returned their attention to their meal or the morning paper.

"Hey, Bella!" George called from behind the grill, waving at me with his spatula.

"Hi, George!" I replied cheerily as I headed back to the employee break room.

Viola, my co-worker, sat at the round, yellow Formica topped table in the center, smoking a cigarette. By the looks of the ash tray, she had been there for several smoke breaks.

"Afternoon, Bella," she greeted, her voice unusually nasally today.

"Hi, Viola," I said as I hung my coat up. "Feeling okay today, Vi?"

"I have a cold." Her cigarette hung lazily from the corner of her mouth as she counted her tips so far. "It's been slow today."

"Good, maybe I can get some studying done between customers. I have a political science test on Friday."

"Sounds good, kid." She snuffed out her cigarette in the ash tray. "I'd better get back out there before George has a coronary."

"I'll be out in a minute, Vi."

I hung my black pea coat up on one of the hooks and tied an apron around my waist. I felt nervous. My stomach always fluttered like this before each shift, because a part of me always wondered when I would lose my self restraint and attack a human. I composed myself, took a deep breath, and snatched up my pad and pen. With a pot of fresh coffee in hand, I made my way out to the front counter.

As I approached, I saw an old man who reminded me of Charlie take a seat at the counter, with a newspaper tucked under his arm. I felt my dead heart sink down into my stomach. I missed my father, and thought of him whenever I could summon a human memory of him. I felt guilty for not being strong enough to destroy Victoria before she could drain his blood.

"Can I help you, sir?" I asked sweetly, smiling down at him.

"Coffee, please," he muttered, and opened his newspaper.

I pulled out a mug from underneath the counter and set it in front of him, then filled it with steaming hot coffee. As I turned to set the pot back on its burner, I heard the bell over the door jingle, and I froze before turning around, a very familiar scent wafting under my nose. I slowly pivoted around and my eyes immediately went to the door.

All I could see were the liquid topaz eyes, the messy bronze hair, and the devastatingly beautiful, crooked grin...

…On the arm of another, and might I say gorgeous, woman.