A/N: Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter, they were much appreciated. Unfortunately, for my dear audience, I will need more practice, and I will try again later. I don't think any time soon, but maybe, you know, after some conflict. In the meantime, let's have fun with Renji.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, by Tite Kubo.

Renji was in a very angry, tired and hungry. His soccer coach, Yumichika, had gotten mad at him for talking back, and Renji had been required to stay after practice to do extra work and talk to the flamboyant man. It wasn't that he didn't like Yumichika, no, he was all right, but he was just so…gay. Renji had an aversion to gay people, even if he didn't realize it. So as he drug himself back to his flat, where he expected Ishida to be cooking some delicious dinner, and hopefully not talking to the pink-haired freak, who was a scary individual indeed. Afterwords, he would consider getting smashed with Shuuhei and Rangiku, whom had both already graduated, and then maybe come home at 1:00, waking up Ishida and making him really pissed off. He dug through his pockets for his key, which he found with relative ease, and opened the door, surprised to see the lights off and the smell of food not drifting in from the kitchen area. He hoped Ishida wasn't sick, that would suck, he wasn't good at taking care of himself. He crept in silently, and set his stuff on the ground, turning to Ishida's small bedroom, which was just a bed, with two extra walls around it to give the user a degree of privacy. Peeking in, in case he was asleep, Renji looked at Ishida's bed. An embarrassed blush worked its way through his cheeks as he saw Ishida and some other person, asleep in Ishida's bed. He couldn't properly make the other person out, without getting closer, and Ishida was a delicate sleeper, as he had learned many times during the night. The other person had their arm wrapped protectively around Ishida's waist, but that was all Renji could see. Blush still raging on his face, he backed out of the room slowly, and sighed. He had always assumed that he would be the first one to bring a girl home (Rukia would be nice, God) but Ishida beat him to it. On the other hand, maybe he didn't...Is Ishida gay? Renji hoped not. Living with him for so long would seem a lot less normal, and a lot gayer. He quickly pulled a piece of paper out of Ishida's spiral notebook, lying on the counter, and a pencil. He scribbled a note down in relatively good handwriting and put it where Ishida could see it. He may be fascinated with Ishida's bedmate, yes, but he was going to get some sleep, or Ishida would know a personal Renji-inflicted hell. He took his bag, and walked sluggishly towards his own sleeping quarters, not even bothering to remove his clothes before he fell asleep in his own cozy bed.

Ishida and Szayel woke up early the next day. Ishida offered to make Szayel breakfast, and although Szayel felt terribly uncomfortable with the whole situation, he accepted gratefully. He found Renji's note first, reading it while Ishida cooked.

'Renji wrote you a note.'

'Huh? Oh, read it out loud, I'm busy.' Szayel shrugged, pushing up his glasses before reading, a habit he'd developed over the years.

'Dear Uryuu,

I woke up at about 11:00, really hungry, so I might have eaten all the eggs, I'm not sure, it was either all the eggs, or the leftover soup. And yes, I know that was a huge contayner, you do not have to tell me. By the way, I hope it's a girl. And if it's not a girl, can it at least be a really cool guy? Like, Ichigo or something? He looked too thin to be Ichigo, but I can hope. I want to meet him/her/it? When I wake up. If it is a girl, please let it not be Orihime, cuz I'm still decieding if I wanna go out with her, and ain't she going out with Jaegerjacques anyway? I dunno. From Renji,' Szayel concluded. Ishida turned, his eyebrows raised.

'It's not his fault he's not the most intelligent person on Earth.'

'He spelled container wrong. And deciding,' Szayel pointed to the words on the paper.

'He never was good with spelling. He's pretty good at sports, and poetry, strangely enough, but spelling is not his strong point, and neither is math.'

'Which are both vital for a career in basically anything.' Ishida shrugged. From inside his room, they heard Renji cough lightly.

'It's almost seven. We should wake him up soon,' Ishida said, putting the eggs on the table and taking the note out of Szayel's hands. Ishida threw it in the trashcan and heard a groan. He looked at Renji's door, seeing it now open, and a half naked Renji changing in the middle of the room.

'Renji, close the damn door!'

'Wha?! Oh…sorry, Uryuu.' Renji shuffled to the door and shut it, before they heard a loud banging noise.

'Renji trips on things in the morning.'

'But isn't he more graceful, if he's so good at physical activities?'

'You would think, but truthfully-' Ishida was cut off by the sluggish steps of Renji, dressed in his favorite white robe with pink flowers. Ishida repressed a horrified look as he looked at Ishida, who had actually already dressed.

'Heh. So, where is she?' Ishida glared at Renji, who was standing three feet away from Szayel.

'What? You're doing the angry look.'

'Renji, as much as I don't want to see your reaction to this, he is sitting right there. Next to you.'

'H-he?' Renji looked afraid, and refused to look to his right to confirm his fears. Ishida sighed.

'I have to use the bathroom.'

'That's a poor excuse, Uryuu!' Renji called to him, as Ishida hurried into the bathroom to wait out Renji's initial shock.

Szayel, on the other hand, feared for his life. Renji seemed rather violent. He tapped him on the shoulder, to make his prescience known. Although Renji didn't want to, it was part of his nature to turn around and see who wanted his attention, and it was too late before he realized that this had caused him to break the 'no contact with Ishida's male bedmate' pact he'd made inside his head. When he first saw the mussed pink hair, devious orange eyes, and white glasses, Szayel expected Renji to throw something. However, Renji merely sat there, staring at Szayel, an expression of incomprehension plastered all over his features. However, Szayel did nothing to change that. A confounded Renji was better than a furious one. Apparently, however, Szayel had let him stay like that for quite some time, because Ishida poked his head out the bathroom door, looking curiously when he saw that Renji hadn't moved an inch.

'What's he doing?' Ishida whispered.

'Staring.'

'Well, make him stop!'

'No, it's quite interesting. I think he can't wrap his mind around it. It's too much for his intellect. It's astonishing, really. Look at him!' Ishida crept out of the bathroom, making a wide circle around Renji and crouching next to Szayel, looking at Renji's features. He put a hand to his mouth.

'Oh, this is bad.'

'Why? I find it amusing.'

'You won't in a minute.' A minute went by, and then a few seconds later, Renji's brows furrowed in contemplation and he looked at Szayel and Ishida, still staring at Renji side by side. Renji narrowed his eyes at both of them.

'Renji, what do you want for breakfast?' Renji glowered.

'I'm going to Ichigo's house for breakfast. I'll be back on Tuesday.'

'Renji, it's Friday.'

'I know.' Ishida shrugged, watching as Renji softly fumed into his room, packed his essentials, which only included one extra change of clothes, and left without another word.

'Hmm…so what happens when he gets back?'

'He'll have brought Rukia, Ichigo, Ichigo's father, Ichigo's father's friend Urahara, and possibly his uncle Zaraki, but I severely hope not. Also, Rangiku will insist on coming, and so will Shuuhei, and since Shuuhei is going, his soccer coach Yumichika, who I suspect has a crush on Shuuhei, will follow.'

'Do they all fit?'

'Everyone except Zaraki.' Szayel nodded, trying to picture Renji's uncle, but had no luck. All he came up with was an older version of Renji, with stubble and bad hippie clothes. Szayel shrugged.

'You can stay here, if you want.' Szayel looked up. Ishida was looking at the floor.

'Hm. I accept that invitation. It'll be fun.' Uryuu looked up. Fun times.

On Tuesday, at approximately nine at night, Renji stormed into the flat, looking triumphant, and pulled a stoic figure in with him. He knocked lightly on Ishida's door. When nobody answered within ten seconds, Renji simply opened the door, to see Ishida reaching for the doorknob.

'Renji. I wondered when you'd show up.'

'Not now, homo. I brought someone.'

'How many "someones"?'

'Just one.' The older man stepped out of the shadows. He was dressed in a nice suit, and he looked unhappy with his surroundings. Ishida growled in frustration, and directed his hate towards Renji, who was grinning like a hyena.

'Renji, you are a real bastard sometimes.' The older man lit a cigarette and looked at Ishida expectantly.

'Do you care to tell me who Szayel Aporro Granz is, Uryuu?'

A/N: Extra speshul points of my lurve to you if you know who this is. I think it's painfully clear, but I could recognize him anywhere, after all.

For those of you who care, I get to dress up as Ishida for Halloween. I'm earning the money over the summer and I'm gonna buy the costume and the wig once I have enough. In other news, has anyone heard Szayel's songs for the Bleach Beat Collection? If you haven't, you can find them on YouTube, as well as his voice message (I dunno what it says, but dang, is it funny. He giggles, and then says something in a very gushy voice, kawaii!) My favorite song is Science Show, but Pink is a new favorite, even surpassing my old favorite, Aesthetics and Identity (Ishida singing in a really high voice is epic win), simply because it is called Pink.