A/N: Grrrrrr…last week sucked, because I had to get my German test back and then I had to take my state's yearly standardized test, all week, and I had my testing sessions in a classroom with, none of my friends, except for two.

By the way, April 20th is Dark Lord Appreciation Day. This is where you get to pick an evil overlord from any series; note that it must be an overlord, some friends of mine were having trouble. Szayel, Ulquiorra, Kadaj, Mikami and Grimmjow are not overlords; Aizen, Sephiroth, Xemnas, Tykki, Kira-sama, Itachi (and any Akatsuki is accepted, being evil and such; yes, even Tobi), these are all overlords. I am celebrating Sephiroth (cuz he is hot), with two other friends. I have quite the variety. If you want to join in, it's fun. On that day, you act all evil. If you are unsure whether someone is a Dark Lord, here are some qualifications:

Does the main character dislike him/her?

Does he/she control lesser evil beings?

Does she/he have a retarded laugh?

Did he/she betray the good guys?

Does anyone refer to him/her as Lord X or X-Sama, or something?

Does he control other, less powerful evil lords?

If he/she meets more than three of these qualifications, you may consider them an evil lord. However, some cases, like Szayel, won't work. Yes, he has a retarded laugh, yes he controls lesser beings and his fraccion call him Szayelaporro-sama, but he doesn't count, because he works for Aizen. If he's below the first tier on the Ladder of Evil, he isn't a Dark LORD. That is all. I'm gonna make cookies on the 20th, and print off yaoi, in memory of that internet-friendly phrase 'Come to the dark side, we have ' I like yaoi, and I like cookies, and I like 'em together. So that's what I'm doing.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, by Tite Kubo.

Ishida really wished Renji was dead. In all seriousness, he should probably be wishing Ryuuken dead, for being so damn condescending, but it was mostly Renji's fault.

'Ishida, you haven't answered my question.'

'I don't plan on doing so, either, Ryuuken,' he sneered at his silver-haired father, watching him go from not amused to bored and not amused. Renji moved from his place as audience member to full-blown participant when he called out to Ryuuken,

'I told you, Szayel is his gay lover.'

'Abarai!'

'What, Ishida, it's true. He's your lover, and since he's a "he" and you're a "he" it makes you a homo.'

'I know what I am, Renji. Go off and play with Rukia.' Ryuuken interrupted their spat by clearing his throat and extuingishing his cigarette on their kitchen counter, tossing it carelessly into the sink.

'Ishida, where is Gay Scientist, anyway?'

'Sleeping.'

'It's nine at night,' Renji raised an eyebrow.

'He was tired.'

'From shagging, I assume,' Renji said in a determined manner, and Ryuuken's eyes widened at Renji's bluntness, a kind of stupidity he hadn't encountered since the last time he'd visited an old friend, who he wasn't going to mention; nevertheless, his eyes moved back into their default, disappointed with Ishida, and Ishida's friend. Suddenly there was a shift from Renji's bedroom, and Renji turned angrily towards Ishida, pointing to the bedroom; his mouth was open wide, and he resembled an angry monkey. He made uncomprehending sounds, his startled look mixing with flashes of rushed anger.

'Ishida! How could you let…why didn't you just…what the hell is wrong with you?!' Renji was fuming now, his back facing Ishida, but the occasional angry glare made sure that Ishida was not trying to sneak away while he wasn't looking.

'If you must know, Renji, Szayel has an essay due tomorrow, and I told him that we wouldn't go out to eat until he finished. He finished the assignment, but he was too tired to go anywhere, so we ordered tacos.'

'Bastard.' Ishida smirked, and Renji merely huffed.

Ryuuken, completely being ignored, slipped quietly into Renji's room, and seamlessly blended in with the darkness, stepping skillfully over the textbooks (Ishida hadn't lived with him for long, but he wasn't neat with his school books either) to the bed, looming over the sleeping form, pink hair framing his face. Ryuuken looked on the bedstand to find a pair of white glasses which he was sure did not belong to Renji Abarai, and back to the figure.

Ishida, glancing to where his father had been, noticed that he was now inspecting the area where Szayel was sleeping, and had previously been working. Normally Ishida had Szayel stay in his room, but because he knew that the essay was important, he banished him to Renji's to speed up his progress; needless to say, Szayel worked hard to finish the project and return to his companion. Ishida reached a hand out in vain, as if hoping to grab his father who was staring at Szayel apprasingly in a completely different room. Szayel, probably subconsciously aware that there was a lot of attention on him at the moment, something he really appreciated, and obviously wanted to be awake for, because he shifted slightly and groaned. Renji opened his mouth, and Ishida had a few guesses of what would come out of his mouth, so he slapped his hand over Renji's mouth and called,

'Ryuuken! Stop it!' Unfortunately, the noise made Szayel stir, he was a very light sleeper after all, and slowly awaken. He didn't trouble himself with yawning or stretching, it just wasn't useful, and opened his bright eyes to the reprimanding gaze of none other than Ryuuken Ishida. The sight startled him, to say the least. He sat up quickly, seeing a struggling Ishida being held back by Renji.

'Who are you?' Szayel raised an eyebrow. Ryuuken raised one in return.

'Ryuuken Ishida. You are Szayel Aporro Granz.' It wasn't a question. Szayel cleared his throat.

'Yes, I imagine you are Ishida's father?'

'So polite,' Renji sneered in the background. Ishida smacked him with a free hand.

'Yes, but you could say we're not on the best of terms. When my son came here, I thought Abarai was going to be his roommate…but I see you've taken his place? Is Renji unhappy with his living conditions?'

'Yes,' Renji snorted. Ishida shook his head.

'Ryuuken, stop it!'

'Ishida, I'm only talking to your friend. You always tell me I'm not a good father; when I try, you push me away. It's upsetting, your coldness towards me.' Ishida's eyes narrowed angrily.

'Oh, Ryuuken, go fu-'

'Uryuu!' Renji looked scandalized. In the three years they'd been living together, Renji had never heard him swear like that, or try to, at least. Ryuuken turned.

'Watch your expletives, Ishida. You always have needed to work on that.' Renji looked at Ishida questioningly.

'He never fails to get a rise out of me, and I, for one, am tired of it. Renji, let go of me, now, or I swear to God…' Renji let go, assuming nothing really bad could happen. Ishida rushed into the room, stepping between Ryuuken and Szayel, looking pissy and protective.

'You have no business here.'

'Ishida, what's the problem?' Ryuuken's eyes glimmered mockingly.

'You are. Leave,' he held his place firmly, looking much more territorial than usual. Szayel smiled from behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

'You could let me handle it,' he suggested. Ishida looked at him.

'He wasn't supposed to find out this way; I was going to graduate, settle down with a career and house, and then tell him. That way, I was standing on my own two feet. But he's paying for a lot of my education now…if he's upset—' Ishida cut himself off, looking at Szayel expectantly. Ishida wanted him to take his side. Frankly, Szayel thought maybe if Ishida was a little nicer, such a problem wouldn't occur, but from what he could see, relations between Ishida and Ryuuken were not your fantasy father-son relationship. Behind his stoic expression, Ishida could see a flicker of irritation surfacing. He hadn't known his father to display happiness, even when Ishida had told him he was moving out. He only ever saw anger, apathy, and sometimes sadness. He would have liked to say the loss of their mother was the cause of such sadness, but Ishida wasn't sure.

Szayel, on the other hand, was formulating a plan, as always. Ishida may not want him to interfere, that much was obvious. Ishida, however, did not have the power to restrtict him from doing just that. He moved inbetween Ishida and Ryuuken, sliding into the already compact space. His face was only inches from Ryuukens body. Although he was a little taller than Ishida, he was not nearly as tall as Ryuuken. He despised having to look up at anyone, no matter what, and it pained him to crane his neck upwards to meet the silver-haired man.

'Ishida is tired,' was all he said, hoping it would make up for the blunt rudeness.

'No, Ishida doesn't tire easily. Don't lie. Now, I'll ask you, Szayel Aporro: What is your relationship with my son?' Szayel opened his mouth to carefully evade the question, when in a rebellious manner, Ishida shouted,

'I love him!' Szayel felt the colour drain out of his face, his mouth going slack with surprise. Love. Love. It was a powerful word, one that Szayel hadn't ever used on another human being before. He wasn't upset because Ishida had yelled it so passionately in front of Ryuuken. He actually was proud of him for that. It was the fact that Szayel was unsure whether he loved Ishida back. He didn't feel any different around him than he did when they were friends; he didn't feel the telltale ache in his chest, and his thoughts revolved more around his work than the other man. It couldn't be love, right? His research told him it wasn't. Everything pointed to lust, rather than love. Ryuuken looked, curious and amused, to Szayel, who was staring off, confused and upset.

…Love.

A/N: and from here on out, this chapter and the next will be known as the 'shoujo rip-off chapters' because my cheesiness amuses me. Totally not beta-read, already late enough getting out as it is.