Hah! Thought I would forget Mother's Day? Not I, the author of Bar Stories: What the Hell Just Happened?

Chapter 12: Mother's Day, Enough Said

They lined up in front of the bar, in a straight line four across. One slightly amused, one on the verge of laughter, one with her mouth set in a firm disapproving line, one with her eyes narrowed.

They were…the Mothers. They had come to see what their daughters were doing, and said daughters knew it.

So they ran like hell. To the bar. Where the Daughters then fell straight into the trap.

"Do you think we lost them?" hissed Michelle, who has just informed the author that her name is in fact Hilaria (in this story anyway).

"What?" yelled Sneha. "I can't hear you over the noise!"

Mother's Day, the bane of all authors and characters. Naturally, the bar was packed with characters either greeting or beating the crap out of their mothers.

We, however, were cowering behind the bar in fear of our own mothers. Perhaps a description would be helpful…or not…:

Demy God: Mother of Draye and Bat through different fathers. Likes beer, having fun and being annoying, and yelling at bat while pretending not to have child favoritism. It's so obvious. Controls lightning. A demon, and the First living being.

Nora Thunder: Mother of…me. Emerald. Likes beer and being annoying, and having fun. Killed my dad (I dunno the circumstances yet. Oh wait…it was cuz Dad sold the only poison that can kill demons to hunters). We don't speak, except to annoy each other. An expert in poisons, and seeing as how we lived together for 250-ish years, im pretty good myself. Also a demon and the Third living being.

Elizabeth H. W. Sesterces: Mother of Hilaria. Affectionately called Liz by Demy and Nora, even though she hates it. A stuck-up, snobby conservative who strongly disapproves of drinking. Has a soft spot for earthworms. Human.

Durga Goddess: Mother of Sneha. Likes having a good time, not as annoying as everyone else. As I have just been informed, she is…uh; an Elemental Guardian of Fire, which means, uh, that she can control fire? I don't know. She mainly uses her power to keep us in line, but she can do a lot of other stuff too.

Oh, and Sneha wants me to say that she (Sneha) is an Elemental Guardian of Air and Water, which means she can control that shit.

So! Back to the chapter.

"I don't think they're here," Bat whispered. "They'd never come in here…"

"Are you kidding? Demy and Nora definitely would!" hissed Draye.

"My mom never would," chuckled Hilaria.

"Mine would, she just wouldn't stay very long," muttered Sneha glumly.

"She would if Demy and Nora made her," I murmured.

"Who would?" said a pleasant voice from above.

The five of us turned around…very…slowly.

And there they stood. Nora and Demy were standing back to back with their arms crossed and a couple of mischievous smiles on their faces. Elizabeth had a very stern expression on her face and her hands on her hips. Durga was casually tossing a fireball in her hands.

"OH, SHIT!!"

An hour later found the nine of us seated around a table.

At a tea party.

Enough said.

"Hilaria," said Elizabeth sharply, "sit up straight. Get your elbows off the table! Act like a civilized person!"

"Liz, couldn't we just go with our original plan and incinerate them?" whined Nora.

"No. And don't call me that!"

"So. Emerald. How're things?" Nora asked after rolling her eyes and making a face at the back of Elizabeth's head.

"So. Nora. Killed anyone lately?"

"Oh god, here they go again," Bat, Draye, Sneha and Hilaria sighed in unison.

"You wanted to incinerate us?" Draye asked Nora incredulously.

"Hey, don't look at me. It was Demy's idea."

Bat glanced at Demy. She looked up and shrugged.

"Oh, come on," interrupted Durga. "It's not like I would have killed you or anything." She smiled.

Hilaria looked at Sneha. Sneha glanced at Draye. Draye kicked Bat under the table. Bat poked me.

As one we jumped up and darted for the door. "Oh no you don't!" roared Elizabeth. At her signal Durga clenched her fists and opened them again. A large wall of fire crackled into life in front of the door. Nora and Demy both appeared in from of the fire with knives in their hands.

"Jeez, you'd think we were prisoners or something!" muttered Sneha.

"You are, until you answer this: WHY THE HELL WEREN'T WE INVITED TO THE SEDER?" shrieked Demy.

"Um, cuz you wouldn't have come if you had been invited?"

"Christ," muttered Hilaria under her breath.

"Don't you dare use that kind of language at the table, young lady!"

I sang to myself in my head. Well, Hilaria's mom's a bitch she's a big fat bitch she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world…

I suddenly felt myself pulled upwards. "Huh?"

Hilaria clamped her hand over my mouth. I licked it and she let go.

"We're up in the ceiling," whispered Bat. I looked down. There, talking to our moms, were…us? What the hell?

"Air plus water equals clouds," whispered Draye. "Sneha made cloud clones."

"Alright, what's our game plan?"

"Well, put together, our combined powers are camouflage, heat, water, air, more water, immortality, poison, and animals."

"What can we do with that?"

Hilaria sat down in a position that much resembled Shikamaru when he was thinking. "I got it!"

In a few minutes we were all seated, the clouds had been sent on to greener pastures, and I had a pack of liquefied Rodendrum in my hand.

Sneha twiddled her fingers. The liquid rose in microscopic droplets over the table and dropped into our mothers' cups.

Unbeknownst to most of the world, Rhododendron can cause burning of the mouth, numbness, diarrhea, nausea, vomiting, and muscle weakness. It can also have a hallucinogenic effect.

And I have upwards of five bushes in my front lawn. Aren't I smart?

Anyway, within five minutes all the adults had ingested it. And soon, they started feeling the effects.

Demy shot a look in my direction. "Alright, little miss poison expert, what did you do?"

"Hmm? Why are you so sure it wasn't Nora? She's the one who goes around killing people."

"That is IT, you little—" Nora charged with a knife that was coated in poison. I dodged, and she tripped.

"Anyway, your poisons won't work on me. You were too lazy to make up antidotes, but what do you think I was doing when you sent me to my room?"

Demy rose very quickly, but stumbled and grabbed the table for support. "I can't really move…what did you use?"

"Rhododendron…" gasped Nora from the floor. "It causes muscle weakness…"

"EARTHWORMS!!" shouted Elizabeth.

"…hallucinations…"

Durga grabbed her stomach.

"…and nausea…dammit, why did I teach you all this?" Nora wailed.

We raced for the door. Durga narrowed her eyes and twitched her fingers. A fireball bloomed and would have burned us, but Bat chose that moment to go vampire. Her fangs lengthened, and she sent a wave of water douse the fire. Nora sent a cloud of poison gas at us, and Hilaria breathed in some of it, but she immediately regenerated her damaged organs.

"We're outta here, see ya later!!"

Don't worry, they won't die. Demy and Bat still need to bond. Heh.