OOF…why, oh why, cruel god is Draye getting home when I go on vacay?

Hilaria: cuz life hates you.

Me: shut up.

Chapter…Uh…16, is it? Okay, chapter 16: Big, Colorful Explosions of Zafeness.

"EMERALD TIARA! COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!" hollered Professor McGonagall as I ran.

Why was I running? Oh…because Zafe and I had just stolen Fred and George's entire store of fireworks. Yes, fireworks. Why was I spending my Fourth of July at Hogwarts, with only the Zafetard to keep me company (get your mind out of the gutter right now)?

Uh…because he called me a lesbian and I wanted to tie him to a firework and send him into the sky with an explosive dragon-shaped shower of sparkles? Yeah, that was it.

"Uh, Emerald? What are you doing with all those fireworks?" asked Harry as I ran by him, frantically dodging McGonagall's stunning spells.

"Can't tell you! Gotta run!" I screamed as I tripped and hit the ground. See, normally. McGonagall would be happy that someone was preventing The Weasley Twins from causing havoc and chaos. But, ya know, with me, things could end up a lot worse.

Zafe was still tied to the tree I left him tied to. "Okay! I get it! I insulted you big-time! But I already said I was sorry! Please don't kill me! You said you accepted the apology. You lied, Emerald Tiara. You LIED!"

"Yeah, yeah, tell it to someone who cares," I said in a Mafia-like accent. I quickly untied him from the tree and bound his wrists together.

"Emerald, did you take your anger pills today?" he asked. "You seem even angrier than usual."

"No! And I don't want to! Taking my anger pills will make me less angry! Hey, wait a minute. I don't take anger pills, what the hell are you talking about?" I asked angrily.

"WELL YOU SHOULD!" Zafe screamed as I pulled out a long rope and began tying him to a large rocket.

"Um, Emerald? Why are you trying to kill my cousin?" Bat stepped out from behind a tree.

"YES! SOMEONE WITH SANITY!" shrieked Zafe. "Help me! Help!"

"No. I still haven't forgotten when you blocked me. Anyway, Emerald?"

"Well, he called me a lesbian…" I began. Bat held up her hand.

"Can I help?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Uh, guys? You realize none of this should technically be happening?" said Azulcat, coming out of, well, nowhere. "We're in England, so they don't celebrate July 4th, and Hogwarts is closed during the summer."

We all stopped in the process of lighting the matches. She was right.

"Well…theyre here anyway, so can we get on with it?" offered Bat.

Lighting the match, the cord ignited and the Zafetard went flying into the air. "Ah, vengeance is sweet," I said with a smile on my face.

"You bitches!" We heard a distant scream before the night sky exploded in an explosion of bright lights and glitter.

Short, yes. Deal with it.