Whoo boy, this might be but probably won't be very fun….

Shout out to Liah Cauthon, the newest member of the Mythical Psychopath Society…I would have put her in here but, you know, I don't know what she looks like (oh, if you're reading this, I need that info for my website. Click the homepage link on my profile).

Wait…help! I'm being attacked! It wasn't me! AARGH…help! Help me….sounds of banging and crashing

I'll be taking over this chapter for now. Consider this punishment, Emerald Tiara.

Chapter 19: MPS vs. the Evil Mary-Sue Machine

They stood looking at it—Emerald, Draye, Bat, Hilaria, Sneha, Night, and Azulcat.

It was big and it was red, and it was a Big Red Button.

"Oh God, NOT one of those," groaned Bat. "I predict that in about 4 seconds, one of us will be overcome by irresistible temptation to push it."

Azulcat reached out and pushed the button. "Dammit!" she cried as girly, pink, sparkly dust appeared around the authors. A sweet smell filled the air. Off-screen, a chorus of angels was heard.

"What happened?" a musical voice sounded from the mist. The mist cleared. Emerald gasped in shock.

"Ho…ly…crap." They weren't in the bar anymore. They weren't anywhere they recognized anymore.

They weren't themselves anymore anymore. The MPS had been transformed into…something else.

Draye's hair fell in straight locks down to her waist, the scarlet strands gleaming in the light. Her cool grey eyes brought to mind angry storm clouds and icy mountains. Her flawless skin was pale but not overly so; she was perfect in every way.

Hilaria's soft chocolate brown eyes gazed out on the scene from her beautifully sculpted face with mixed amusement and horror. Her long, mid-back brown hair glimmered, the indigo highlights shining. Her skin had a nice tan to it.

Sneha's brown skin now drew the eyes of all; the coffee tint perfectly complimented her light cinnamon eyes with fluttering lashes. The hair that grew from her perfect head was black as night, so black you felt you could get lost in it. Her slender form shook with laughter and shock.

Azulcat ran her slim hands through her deep cerulean hair; her tail flickered about her shapely body. Her sapphire eyes took in her surroundings with utter terror. "What the…" she said, and as she spoke her voice was that of an angel; her cat ears twitched to learn this fact.

Bat's mahogany brown hair was pulled into a perfect ponytail on her head. A few strands escaped it, falling gracefully in front of her eyes. Her piercing emerald green eyes looked around knowingly, as she was the only one who had figured it out. A slight smile graced her lips, making her whole face light up.

Night was quietly sobbing with a horrified expression on her lovely face; tears rolled slowly down her perfect cheeks as she saw what she had become. Her short reddish hair framed her face beautifully; her bright green eyes glittered with the tears. Her pale skin perfectly complimented her hair and eyes.

Emerald was standing straight with perfect posture and staring into space desolately. Her beautiful blue-grey eyes made one think of storm-tossed waters. Her gleaming sky blue hair fell down to her knees in attractive waves and blew in the slight breeze. The small scar on her lip from when she was 10 was gone; she was now flawless and beautiful.

The members of the MPS, hearing this description, looked at each other.

And burst out laughing.

"Emerald, why do I get the feeling the narration is no longer in your hands?" asked Night once she was done laughing.

"Maybe because I would never, ever, ever describe us like that?" Emerald muttered.

"So…we're actually…IN a STORY?!" shrieked Hilaria. "Holy SHIT!"

"But WHO?" asked Night. "Who stole the narration rights from Emerald?"

"I think it might have been Clio…" said Sneha thoughtfully. "She kind of hates Emerald…"

"Is it my fucking fault that Sesshomaru looked?!" shrieked Emerald.

"Yes," answered the rest of the MPS simultaneously.

While Emerald punched a tree several times, the rest of them stood around talking.

"So, if we're…gulp…Mary-Sues, why aren't we quietly sobbing and being otherwise damsel-in-distressish?" asked Azulcat in a panicked voice.

Everyone looked around as if expecting these qualities to come zooming out of the trees and attack them.

"I think," said Bat slowly, "she went so far as to make us unearthly beautiful, and then she stopped…she'd not doing anything extreme anymore, but these strange qualities are going to come back and bite us in the ass before this chapter is done."

"Such wisdom," snickered Draye. "No less is expected from such a perfect woman."

"Oh, shut up."

"And my hair isn't fucking sky blue," muttered Emerald mutinously. "It's just bright blue."

"Hey—I have 'coffee brown skin' and 'cinnamon eyes'," laughed Sneha.

"You curse too much, Emerald," said Night.

Another ominous pink fog trickled into the forest they were in.

"God DAMMIT! What is with all this fucking pink!" screamed Emerald.

"Night Alchemist is right, Emerald." And there I was.

Emerald blinked. "And your color is now pink since….when?"

"Since I hired Winry to make a machine that would turn you all into Mary-Sues." I idly looked at my fingernails. "Isn't it such a nice color?"

The Mythical Psychopath Society looked at me in horror, screamed, and ran around in little circles.

"This is about how we all broke the fourth wall, isn't it?" panted Hilaria once she was done.

"When can I be the narrator again?" asked Emerald loudly.

"I don't know." I blinked. "I really hadn't actually thought past turning you into Sues. The chapter doesn't exactly have a plot."

Draye decided to play negotiator. She flipped her crimson hair which descended in rippling strands over her shoulder, where—

"Will you cut that out?" she screamed.

I giggled. "Fine, if you insist."

"Anyway," Draye continued, "why don't you just TELL the characters what they are? It would have major repercussions, they would be kind of pissed at us fanfiction authors for what we put them through, and we'd all be lynched. So technically, it would be the perfect punishment."

"Of course one as glorious as you would come to such a conclusion, O Lady Draye," murmured Hilaria.

"Shut up."

"Hm…" I scratched my head. "I like this plan. I guess my plan of making you all Mary-Sues has failed….whatever."

And just like that, the MPS was back in the bar, normal, un-lengthened appearances returned. Emerald coughed, gasped for breath, and fell to the floor.

And that was how I got the narration back! Hooray for me, Emerald!

I wasted no time in immediately screaming this out loud.

But then I shut up. Because of what I saw.

As one, every single character in the bar's heads turned to look at us, their eyes filled with a look of desperate hatred.

"RUN!" we screamed.

Ugh, thank GOD I am the narrator again.

Coming Soon: Halloween!