Emmett pointed at Esme. 'Aren't you dead?'

Esme stared at him. 'Of course not you silly boy.

Emmett pouted.

'Carlisle, who's this?' Jasper said nodding in Esme's direction.

'It's Esme. Can't you tell?' Carlisle answered.

'Did you clone Esme?' Rosalie questioned.

Carlisle looked shifty. 'Maybe...'

Emmett stared at Carlisle. 'You're crazy aren't you?'

'What are you talking about? Now we don't have to feel sad, or upset. We have our beloved Esme back'

Carlisle beamed.

'He's turning into Edward,' Alice whispered to Jasper.

'I heard that,' Edward glared.

Alice grinned.

'This is insane,' Jasper whispered back.

'How did you do it anyway,' Edward wondered.

'I cloned her,' Carlisle said uncertainly.

'No, you misunderstood. I mean how did you clone her. She's dead isn't she?'

'For the last time, she's ALIVE. She's standing RIGHT NEXT TO ME,' Carlisle growled.

'Ok, ok. Just tell me HOW you CLONED HER!'

'Oooohh. Well why didn't you say that in the first place?'

'I did,' Edward grumbled.

'Well that's easy. I had her DNA,' Carlisle explained.

'So uh, you don't suppose you could uh, help me out.' Edward stuttered.

'Nonsense Edward. Don't be ridiculous. She's not dead.' Carlisle said, looking at Bella.

'Yet,' he whispered under his breath.

'I'm sorry what was that?' Carlisle smiled.

'Nothing.'

Alice screamed. 'Don't you dare kill Bella, Edward.'

'Why would you think that?' Edward chuckled nervously.

'I can see the future you idiot,' she yelled.

'The possible future,' Edward corrected.

Alice glared at him.

'Hey guys, let's get back to the subject here. Clone Esme,' Rosalie reminded them.

'Sorry dear, but my name's Clenesme,' she interrupted.

'Sorry,' Rosalie said sarcastically. Everyone turned to stare at her. 'What? I've been under a lot of stress lately.'

Meanwhile, somewhere in Pennsylvania.

'I told you. There ain't no vampires around here, you noseless freak,' an angry villager yelled, waving his pitchfork. All the villagers had heard about the nasty creature roaming the streets of their small village in Pennsylvania. They had come to put a stop to him.

'I know they exist, you uneducated muggles,' Voldemort yelled in fury. 'Lead them to me at once.'

The crowd grumbled. Another brave villager shouted out, 'We told ya, there ain't no vampires round this place. Get THAT through your thick, ugly, noseless head.'

'STUPFEY,' Voldemort yelled, stunning that villager.

'Tell me where the vampires are.'

'Oh you'd be wanting blood-suckers,' an old man called out.

'That's what I've been saying for the last half hour.' Voldemort bellowed.

'Well, maybe you should try Transylvania,' the old man smiled.

Voldemort froze. 'Transylvania?'

'Transylvania,' the old man confirmed.

' I swear vampires lived in Pennsylvania. Although the book said they lived in Forks, but I've already been there and there weren't any vampires there. Maybe I should try Transylvania. Can't hurt. Might as well try...'

'Looks like he's talking to himself,' the old man muttered to his companions.

'He actually thinks vampires are real, that deranged weirdo,' one of the villagers said.

'Maybe we should leave him, he's not that dangerous.'

'He just stunned Billy Bob. I think that proves that he's dangerous,' said one of the villagers.

The old man nodded. 'Let's get him!'

Voldemort looked up as he heard footsteps. He saw the crowd approaching, waving their pitchforks. Voldemort started to leave but then stopped as a thought occurred to him. Voldemort smiled his twisted, evil smile and pulled out his wand. A little going away present wouldn't hurt them, he thought to himself. Voldemort muttered a spell and from his wand appeared a huge green snake, venomous from the look of it. And with that he disappeared.

Later in Transylvania

Voldemort knocked on the door of the house he stood in front of. After arriving at Transylvania, he had decided to meet some old friends and see if they knew anything about the vampires. They didn't. He planned to go to as many houses as it took to get the information that he needed.

The door creaked open and a toddler stuck her head out, smiling. She stopped as soon as she saw Voldemort and ran into the house. Voldemort sighed. Why do I have this effect on children? He thought. I'm such a kind man.

A man walked up to the open door and stood there.

Voldemort cleared his throat. 'I have a question for you.'

The man smiled politely and waited.

'I want to know if vampires live here,' Voldemort stated.

The man's polite smile faded. 'Are you crazy?'

Voldemort sighed. 'Not again,' he muttered. 'No I am not crazy,' he said out loud. 'I honestly want to know. Tell me the truth or your life will be in danger.'

The man snorted. 'What are you gonna do to me?'

Voldemort pulled out his wand and pointed it to the man's chest.

'That is what I'm going to do.' Voldemort hissed.

The man stood, shocked. 'There is no such thing as vampires,' his said as his voice shook.

'They exist. Now tell me, where would I find them?'

'Not in Transylvania.'

'Then where?' Voldemort groaned.

'Sporks in Washington, America.'

Voldemort was surprised. 'Sporks? You sure you don't mean forks?'

'Very sure. People always assume it's Forks because of the book.'

'Other people are looking for the vampires?'

'Hundreds.'

Voldemort was sceptical. How could this man be so sure? He asked him how he knew.

'Old folk legends. The vampires always go to Sporks eventually. They're drawn to it.'

Voldemort thanked him and walked away with his head full of the newly acquired knowledge. He now knew where the vampires would be. He smiled to himself. Excellent, he thought. Once I get to them, it's onto my plans for world domination.

He saw a brightly lit ice-cream store. Maybe I'll stop for some ice-cream first.