WOOT. Good haul this year, even if it did involve quite a lot of walking. SO, the reason this is off-schedule is because I remembered like a day before halloween that I needed to write a chapter, and then I didn't know what to write, and now I'm in Mexico because I'm in my friend's wedding. I'm a bridesmaid. But the hotel has like NO internet connection. Frickin JW Marriott.

Chapter 20: Halloween ORIGINATED in Hell

"OY! ASSTARD!" I screamed as Zafe entered the bar. He rolled his eyes and came over to join us.

Hilaria, Sneha, Bat, Draye, Night, Liah and I sat at a table. On the table was a map, along with sketches of various things—most of them costumes.

Zafe assessed the situation with a speed none of us expected from him. "You're going…trick-or-treating?" he said incredulously.

"Not just us. You're coming too," Night informed him.

"I am?" He blinked several times. "Oh, no. Nonononono. I am NOT going trick-or-treating with YOU PEOPLE."

"Oh, yes. Yesyesyesyesyes. You ARE going trick-or-treating with US PEOPLE." I poked him in the arm. "Now sit down and decide what you're going to be."

Zafe warily sat as far away from me as possible. Draye began the explanations.

"As a member of the MPS, you are obligated by law to come with us, seeing as how this is an MPS trick-or-treat." Zafe rolled his eyes and grabbed a beer. I whacked him upside the head. "This means you have to decide what you wanna be before you get smashed.

Hilaria pulled a large binder from under the table. She opened it to a random page and read. "Your options are as follows:

The generic all-purpose costumes, like the devil, a witch, a ghost, etc.

You can cosplay as an anime character.

You can come up with you own costume. Yeah, good luck with that. Asstard."

"Jesus, everyone with the name calling!" muttered Zafe under his breath.

"Aww, are little Zafey's feelings hurt?" teased Night. "Friggin baby."

"FOR THE LAST TIME, IT'S PRONOUNCED 'ZAFF!'" shrieked Zafe.

"Bull." Bat flicked a breadcrumb at him. "It's spelled Z-A-F-E, which is pronounced 'zayf.' If you want it to be said as 'zaff,' you need to spell it Z-A-F-F."

Zafe continued muttering under his breath, something along the lines of how no one in their sane minds analyzed words like that, we should all give him a break, and why did we care so much about how his name was spelled?

Sneha grabbed Hilaria's binder. "So, what's it gonna be? Option one, two or three?" She paused. "Hehe, I rhymed."

"Ah, rhyming, what a wonderful pastime…" Hilaria gazed into the distance. "Have you ever noticed just how many English teachers tell us that rhyming is unnecessary, yet some of the greatest poets used various rhyming techniques in their works?"

"CAN WE PLEASE GET BACK ON TOPIC?" I roared, thumping the table.

Sneha and Hilaria looked up. "Not a chance," they said in unison. Unrehearsed. Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

"So, it's been decided that the Zafetard will dress up as Tsunade," said Liah calmly over the noise.

The table went silent. "Decided by who?" blurted Hilaria. "I was gonna be Tsunade…" mumbled Sneha. Night whacked her to make her quiet. All were still for a moment, then as one our heads swiveled to Zafe.

He had an expression on his face much akin to that which appears when one has seen something vaguely sickening and disturbing, yet slightly horrifying and funny at the same time.

"Tsu…na…de?" he said faintly.

"Tsu…na…de," I confirmed. When Zafe's eyes closed in horror I shot a glance at Liah and mouthed Tsunade? Why?

She shrugged. Tsunade has huge boobs, it'll be torture for him, she mouthed back. True, true.

The next night (Halloween) found us all gathered in a bathroom, trying in vain to force Zafe's stubbornly black hair to conform to the blonde dye. Outside the door Night and I were stuffing marshmallow fluff into two plastic bags, to be used for 'Tsunade's' breasts.

"You cruel, cruel people…" he moaned.

"Oh, shove it," Draye said. "Hey Emerald, isn't this vaguely reminiscent of how I hazed Zafe by making him cosplay as Sakura, as seen in chapter 19 of my Bar Stories?"

"Yeah I probably got the idea for this chapter from that," I called back.

THERE IS NO FOURTH WALL.

"Yeah, well, that was torture and so is this," snapped Zafe as Liah finally got the dye to sink in by discreetly mixing it with glue.

Night shoved the marshmallow fluff down Zafe's Tsunade shirt.

Hilaria carefully applied the necessary makeup.

Sneha stuck a purple diamond-shaped sequin onto Zafe's forehead.

Needless to say, Zafe was hit on several times that night.

Even more needless to say, the female members of the MPS were of no help at all while Zafe was fighting off his stalkers. We just sat around laughing.

POOH. Wow, I've come a long way…My first holiday chapter was Thanksgiving!

Oh, and my birthday was this Friday HAPPY 314 TO ME!!!

…Dare I put up a birthday chapter? Never shall we know!