'Strawberry ice-cream,' Alice yelled out.

Rosalie and Renesmee stared at her.

'Sorry,' she grinned. 'It just came into my head.'

Rosalie rolled her eyes. She, Alice and Renesmee were sitting downstairs in the living room. Carlisle and Clenesme had gone for a walk and Emmett and Jasper had gone hunting. Edward was upstairs, moping about Bella.

'It's been almost a week and he's still just as upset as he was on the day it happened,' Rosalie commented.

'I know. It's kind of freaking me out,' Alice agreed. 'I know it's a big tragedy and all that, but he doesn't need to be such a cry baby about it.'

'Watch who you're calling cry baby,' Edward growled as he walked into the room.

'And he lives,' Rosalie said sarcastically.

Edward smiled. 'I do feel better.'

Rosalie rolled her eyes. He obviously didn't get the sarcasm.

'Seen anything about Bella,' Edward asked, turning to Alice.

Alice shook her head. 'I'm trying really hard. What is Bella up to anyway?'

'She's eating hazelnuts,' Edward declared.

There was silence.

A long and awkward silence.

Alice started laughing and wouldn't stop, even when Edward glared at her.

'I still can't believe you painted her,' Rosalie shook her head. 'That was insanely funny.'

'Well, you guys didn't believe she was a chipmunk so I wanted to make it obvious.'

'Oh shut up will you,' Rosalie groaned. 'You're hurting my head.'

'Try being me,' Edward muttered.

Jasper and Emmett ran into the room.

'Hey, look who we found on the way,' Emmett grinned.

Jacob walked into the room. Edward was surprised. Jacob smiled politely then was angry when he saw that Bella wasn't with them.

'Where have you been?' Edward asked.

'I had to talk to Sam. He convinced me to stay for a while. But never mind me, where's Bella?'

Edward and Rosalie exchanged glances.

Jacob watched them with a curious look, then was angry.

'What happened to her? Is she a vampire yet?' Jacob looked questioningly at everyone in the room.

'Do you want to tell him or should I?' Alice whispered to Edward.

'I will,' he whispered back.

'Tell me what?' Jacob whinged.

'Well...'

Meanwhile at an ice-cream store in Transylvania

'Strawberry ice-cream! Yum,' Voldemort sighed. The girl serving him kept staring at him, as if he was an animal in a circus.

'What happened to your nose?' she stammered.

'What? Is there something on it?'

'You don't have one.'

'Well you think there's something wrong with my nose? Do ya? Do ya? I think I'm pretty handsome. Don't ya think I'm handsome?'

The girl fainted as Voldemort continued ranting. 'You think there's something wrong with me? Who thinks I'm pretty,' He yelled to the other customers.

'Hey you,' he said running to a customer. 'What's your name?'

'Bobby Bill,' he stuttered.

'Well Bobby Bill. Do you think I'm handsome?'

Bobby Bill fainted.

'Useless muggles,' he muttered. 'Don't even know how to flatter a man. He stormed out of the store. HAHAHA! I didn't pay, he thought. That'll teach 'em. He walked away laughing maniacally.

Back in Sporks

'What d'ya mean she's a chipmunk,' Jacob said miserably.

'SQUIRREL!' everyone but Edward screamed.

'Squirrel?' Jacob looked up. 'Look at her; she's five feet of pure chipmunk.'

'That's because this jerkface over here decided to paint her,' Emmett laughed, pointing at Edward.

'What?'

'It's a long story. Basically Edward thought she was a chipmunk-' Alice started.

'Even though she's clearly a squirrel,' Jasper interrupted. Alice glared at him.

'Sorry,' Jasper apologised.

'Yes. So, Edward painted her so we would ALL think she's a chipmunk.'

Jacob stared at Edward. 'Man, you're crazy.'

'Well, Carlisle cloned Esme,' Edward accused.

Jacob turned to stare at Carlisle.

'What?' Carlisle said innocently.

'You're ALL crazy.' Jacob turned to Rosalie. 'Especially you, Blondie.'

'What'd I do?' Rosalie yelled.

'You lived.'

Emmett laughed. Rosalie punched him in the arm. 'I'm not alive, dog.'

Emmett continued to laugh. Rosalie punched him yet agen, this time hard enough for him to be thrown out the open window. Then she punched Jacob, who fell to the ground. Rosalie kissed her knuckles. 'That'll teach 'em,' she said smugly.

Meanwhile, at an airport in Transylvania

'I'm sorry sir, there seems to be a problem with your passport.'

'What problem?' Voldemort hissed.

'Well uh, it seems your passport is an exercise book with a picture of Robert Pattison stuck on the front page and your name and age next to it.' The flight manager said.

'I don't have a passport. I never needed it. I normally use, er, other methods of transport,' Voldemort explained.

'I see. Well that will be a problem.'

'Oh no it won't,' Voldemort whispered. 'Imperio.' Now the man was under his control.

'There's no problem then?'

'Not at all,' the man said, in a daze.

Voldemort picked up his carry on luggage and walked towards gate 3, where his plane to Sporks was leaving from.

Later in the plane

"Sir, please go back to your seat,' an airhostess said, giving Voldemort a weird look.

He stomped back to his seat and sat down.

'Don't forgot to buckle your seat belt,' she reminded him.

'Don't forget to buckle your seat belt,' Voldemort mimicked. I hate this plane. Maybe I'll get some juice.

'Excuse me ma'am?' he said in a deep voice.

'Yes,' she smiled. Her smile fell when she saw Voldemort's face. Not again, he thought.

'Could I please have some apple juice,' he grunted.

'Sure,' she whispered and walked away. Voldemort saw her talking to another airhostess and pointing in his direction.

Voldemort sat back comfortably and closed his eyes. Darn muggle clothes. So uncomfortable, he thought. Voldemort had avoided going anywhere near the wizarding world. Someone might recognise him and alert the authorities. That was why he was wearing the muggle clothes.

'Excuse me sir, your juice,' a voice said distracting him from his thoughts. He looked up and saw an air hostess looking extremely nervous and holding a glass of apple juice. He smiled at her. When she saw his smile, she got so scared that she dropped the juice and ran.

'What kind of service is this?' Voldemort yelled. The people in the seats around him broke out into nervous laughter, but were silenced by a glare from Voldemort.

23 long long hours later (Transylvania is in Europe)

Voldemort felt as fresh as a daisy, it's not like he needed much sleep. He was like a vampire in many ways. Except for the blood thing. And the really good-looking thing. Well, for Voldemort it was just the blood thing.

He was on his way to what was described as the biggest house in Sporks. He was told this by the man in Transylvania. Big white house, he thought to himself. BIG white house.

Five minutes later

After what seemed like hours (but was only like five minutes), Voldemort approached the end of the long winding driveway. He was almost excited to finally be meeting the vampires.

'Oh goody,' he said aloud in excitement, then looked around making sure no one had heard.

I wonder what they have in their pockets, he thought to himself. He looked up and there stood a blue house. Wait, blue? That's not right.

'Carlisle, we have a guest,' a voice screamed from the second story.