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Voldemort looked up and saw 2 figures on the side of the house painting. As he looked closer he saw that they were painting the house red.

'You're right, painting does help with misery,' one of them said.

'I know something else that helps misery,' the other one said.

'What?'

'Cloud watching' He shouted.

They both scrambled up the side of the house to get to the roof.

'EDWARD!' a man bellowed from inside the house.

'What?' Edward whined slinking towards the man.

'The house was blue, now it's red,' he stated.

'And..'

'What is wrong with you? Why are you and Jacob painting the house. I liked it when it was white, now it's RED!'

'Well Carlisle, I think red matches his eyes, so I thought why not,' Edward shrugged.

'Oh ok,' Carlisle turned to go, then suddenly stopped. 'Wait, whose eyes?'

'Voldemort's of course,' Edward chuckled.

'Who's Voldemort?' Carlisle inquired.

'Why the man downstairs of course.'

'There's a man down stairs.'

'Well, almost a man.'

'What d'ya mean?' Carlisle was puzzled.

'He appears to be missing a nose.'

Voldemort raced up the side of the house and stood on the roof, glaring at Edward.

'Who you calling almost a man?' Voldemort roared.

Edward smiled. 'You of course, silly.'

Voldemort screamed in fury. 'You think there's something wrong with my nose? I'll admit that it does seem a bit smallish when you see me in person, but check out my passport picture.' He pulled out the exercise book that he called a passport and opened it to show them the picture he had stuck in.

Edward glanced at it and roared with laughter. Voldemort glared at him.

'What? I look pretty good,' Edward grinned.

'Wait, that's you? I mean, what are you on about. This is obviously me,' Voldemort blushed.

Edward roared with laughter. 'Sure sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night.'

Voldemort sighed. Stupid muggles, he thought. Wait, not muggles, Vampires. Voldemort grinned when he remembered the reason he had travelled to Sporks.

'Ok you're Carlisle?' Voldemort questioned and Carlisle nodded. 'And you're Edward?' Edward gave a curt nod. He turned to the other man standing with them. 'And who are you?'

'Jacob Black,' the man nodded.

'Well gentlemen,' Voldemort started, when suddenly two young men burst through the door.

'Emmett, Jasper. So nice of you to join us,' Carlisle smiled. Emmett looked from Voldemort to Edward. Edward shrugged as he heard Emmett asking who the man was in his mind.

When Voldemort saw Emmett, he just about died and went to heaven. So strong. We can easily control the world if these vampires are that strong.

'Why are you here?' Carlisle asked Voldemort after filling in Emmett and Jasper on what had happened.

'Why because you're going to help me take over the world of course' Voldemort exclaimed glee evident in his voice.

They all stared at him like he had just said he had won miss universe.

'You're strange you know that' Emmett stated.

'You think there's something wrong with my nose don't you?'Voldemort accused.

'Ummmm no...'Jasper said unsurely. 'He was talking about what you just said.'

'I'LL KILL YOU!' Voldemort screamed. 'Wait, scratch that. I need you for world domination.'

'Scratch what?' Jacob joked. 'You're nose? Well I can't. 'Cos you don't have one.' Jacob grinned. 'Get it? HAVE ONE!' He burst into hysterical laughter.

'Why you little...' Voldemort ranted when suddenly Rosalie walked onto the roof laughing at what Jacob had just said. 'Idiot,' she muttered then turned to Voldemort and said 'Want me to push him off the roof for you.'

'Yes please,' Voldemort beamed.

Rosalie smiled and shoved Jacob off the roof. Emmett started chortling. 'That's why I married her.' He walked over to Rosalie and put his arm around her. She shook it off and glared menacingly at him.

Voldemort, seeing this, said 'Idiot. Want me to push him off the roof for you?' he asked, turning to Rosalie. She nodded in agreement.

Voldemort ran to Emmett who started to back away. 'Stay away from me you noseless freak,' Emmett roared mockingly. Voldemort screamed in fury. 'No one mocks LORD VOLDEMORT.' With that he pushed Emmett off the roof, who landed on Jacob, and smiled victoriously.

Voldemort and Rosalie high fived each other. 'That ought to teach them,' Rosalie smirked.

Jasper, Carlisle and Edward stood helplessly as they saw something that didn't happen very often, Rosalie getting along with a stranger.

Voldemort cleared his throat and started to speak. 'So you're all probably wondering why I'm here.'

Carlisle nodded. 'Yeah we were.'

'Well, here's the thing. I know you're vampires, and I want you to join me in taking over the world. With your strength and my extraordinary magical skills, who knows what we could do.' Voldemort smiled in the silence that followed his words.

'Wait, how did you know we are vampires?' Edward said with a frown.

Voldemort laughed. 'I read twilight.'

'Well so has half the world, but they didn't believe it.'

'And that's where they went wrong. I believed and here I am,' Voldemort stated.

'Who are you anyway?' Jasper asked.

'Sorry. I forgot to introduce myself. I am Dark Lord Voldemort, the most dangerous dark wizard ever.'

'Wizard?' Carlisle said questioningly.

'Yes, wizards exist. Just like Vampires. And I am an extraordinary wizard. So tell me, will you join me?'

Jasper, Edward and Carlisle looked at each other for a brief moment and then turned back to Voldemort.