Chapter Eight:

Damn you, damn you, damn you, I thought bitterly as I marched onward. Of course I get stuck with him while traversing the Labyrinth. Why me? Any other fan girl would be thrilled with this but I just wanted to scream at him.

Okay, maybe I did owe him for hurting him – his muffled groans behind me weren't as muffled as he thought– but honestly, couldn't he just drop me in an oubliette instead of 'gracing' me with his company?

I turned down another corridor. How long had I been in here for? I knew that the movie wasn't actually ten hours long but how long was I supposed to wander aimlessly for?

I looked back at the Goblin King. He hadn't said anything since I had set off, he had just walked behind me.

"I don't suppose you know if I'm almost through this section of the Labyrinth?" I asked him, still walking.

He quickened his pace slightly and we were walking abreast – no, rather head to shoulder, of each other. "I do," he said smirking slightly.

"Right," I said exasperatedly. "Perhaps you could tell me how long I have until I leave this section?

"I think perhaps not."

I clamped my teeth shut to keep from making a very rude retort that involved him doing something physically impossible. We walked onward in silence for awhile. After taking several branches to the right (The Goblin King kept inching toward the left) I said to break the silence, "Sorry about using SING on you, by the way. I don't think I ever apologized."

"You never sang," he said obviously confused.

I shook my head. "No, it's an acronym. 'S' stands for solar plexus." I tapped the area above my non-existent chest. "'I' stands for instep." I pointed towards my foot. "'N' stands for neck," Pointing there as well, I motions towards the next without thinking. "And 'G' stands for well, groin." I could feel myself paling. Did I really just say that in front of him?

He didn't seem perturbed by the word. He just said, "Interesting. Where'd you learn this?"

"Ashwinder," I said. I glanced at him. "You wouldn't know of it – it's an Internet site for SSHG."

"Oh," he said as if he wasn't really thinking about it.

I turned to the left as he was inching to the right now. "Are Case and Jenny behaving?"

I just wanted to know how they were doing – I didn't give a damn how they were behaving, in fact I hoped they gave him Tartarus. Didn't I say that already though?

His eyes glinted as he turned his head to me. "They've been a delightful chang,e though their questions have been…" I could tell he was trying to find the right word. "Uncomfortable." He seemed to remember something. "Tell me Elisa, what is it with their fascination with my trousers?"

I broke into guffaws. Really loud ones. I snorted several times and it was all I could do to keep walking. Tears leaked form the corners of my eyes so I couldn't see much, but I was laughing too hard to care.

When it finally slowed, I sighed. "Oh, dear, you really are lucky sir, that you have me instead of rabid Labyrinth Listians."

"Listians?" He asked. His face was very confused.

"Your biggest fans," I explained. I wiped my eyes. "Look sir, you should know that no one for the past say, five hundred years has worn tights like yours without being ridiculed."

"They're not tights!" He interjected.

"What are they then?" I asked, (yes, I was going to sell the answer on eBay the minute I got back)

"Trousers," He said firmly.

"No way," I said, going straight down the next fork. "Those are way too tight in comparison to trousers. Hasn't anyone spoken to you about them before – or does everyone down here wear them?"

The Goblin King was silent for a long moment before saying, "We choose our own styles. I was told they suited me once. Otherwise, no, no one has ever spoken to me about them."

I snorted. "And who told you that – a girl friend?"

Looking firmly in front of him, he said, "My mother."

I guffawed again. "What?" The Goblin King demanded. "What is so terribly funny?"

I shook my head and headed left down a fork. I noticed the walls were becoming lower – now they were only about the height of the top of the Goblin King's head. "It's just that they're rather – how shall I put it? Oh, I know – attention grabbing."

"Attention grabbing?" He asked as if not quite getting my meaning.

I nodded grimly. "It's like you have a big sign saying look here! When I saw the film and saw those, I screamed. One of my older sisters even commented on her innocent eyes – and she's in college."

"Surely not as much as you say…"

"If anything, sir, I've understated it." I then realized what I was talking about. Eek! Quick – change the subject, er… "What did Case and Jenny do?"

His face grew stony again. "Your siblings thought my name to be "Mr. Tights Guy' and were insistent that I was singing about 'Pants, Magic.'"

Several snorts and guffaws later, I was able to realize that I was in trouble. He stared sternly at me. "They said, you taught them it."

"I take it they're not following rule two," I muttered. One of his eyebrows arched but he said nothing. "Look sir, there's really nothing to be complaining about their behavior. You've only had them for a little while and they really haven't done anything that horrible."

"Horrible?" He asked mockingly. "No, they haven't done anything horrible except destroy my pride and dignity while insinuating things about me that are completely untrue." His voice was terribly angry.

I sighed. "Really Mr. Goblin King, that's nothing. Just be happy you haven't heard about Miss Molly." Ooh, I had an excellent idea if he took the bait.

"And who was she?" He sneered. "A baby-sitter?" He seemed genuinely interested and fell neatly into my trap.

"I'm not saying anything about her," I declared. "If you want to hear about her so much, ask Case and Jen. That was torture through words only as well…"

"Perhaps I shall," he said gesturing. "I doubt they could do anything as horrible as they already have done to her as they have done to me. She sounds an ordinary sort."

You've asked for it, I thought grinning internally, though not betraying it on the outside. "Fine then, go ask, but don't say I didn't warn you. What happened is rather horrifying."

He rose to the challenge and stopped suddenly, and I stopped beside him. "Fine," he scoffed. "I will." The Goblin King pulled out one of his crystals and started to do his rolling thing before throwing it high into the air and disappearing.

"Oh, you really are a fool," I said smirking and continued on towards the lowering walls of the corridors.

Case ran after Morag. "You're it!" He yelled, tapping the goblin's shoulder.

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Case!" Jenny yelled. "Help me find Nog – I have to catch him."

After Jareth had left, the goblins had started a variation of tag. The goblins had been pretty welcoming to them, and they were all having fun now.

But right then Jareth appeared in front of his throne. "You two!" He barked pointing at Case and Jen. "Come here!"

Jenny shared a look with Case who shrugged, but they made their way towards him. "Yes, Mr. Jareth?" Case asked.

"Yes," He said. His eyes looked odd – he looked sort of like how Elisa did when she promised she'd listen to one of Jenny's stories yet kept moving back towards her computer. "Your sister has advised me to ask you to tell me of Miss Molly."

Case saw Jenny's eyes go really big – he knew his were probably the same. "Really?" Jenny asked. "You really want to hear about Miss Molly?"

"Of course I do," said Jareth. "Now, speak of it."

Jenny turned to Case. "He asked for it."

"He did," Case nodded. "This means we can sing it."

"Oh, get on with it already," Jareth said in exasperation.

"Alright-y then," said Jenny cheerfully turning to Jareth. She cleared her throat and Case began to sing the tune-less song with her, clapping there hands to the rhythm that didn't wasn't really there "Miss Molly had a steamboat; her steamboat had a bell, toot, toot. Miss Molly went to heaven; the steamboat went to hell-o operator, please give me number nine and if you disconnect me, I'll kick you in the behind…"

I didn't have to wait long for Jareth to reappear. I had just made my way out of the turny section of the maze when he appeared in front of me. He had this crazy look in his eye as he stumbled towards me.

"That," he said in a half-crazed voice. "Was sheer torture. What was it?"

"I don't know," I said cheerfully. "It's fun to sing on a cold day though. Did you like it? My favorite part is…"

"NO!" the Goblin King yelled. "Please, no! Anything but that again. It was, it was…"

He seemed to realize that he was begging then for he straightened somewhat and regained a little of his composure. The Goblin King straightened and glared. "For that," he said. "You're losing some of your time."

Another cuckoo clock appeared and I watched in horror as three of my hours were taken.

"That's not fair!" I said before I could stop myself. He looked pointedly at me.

I rolled my eyes. "Right, life's not fair." I ran a hand through my hair. "Okay, what can I do to get that time back?" I then quickly added after suddenly remembering some M rated fan-fics, "Within reason and sanity."

He tilted his head to the side. "What makes you think I'd even bargain with you to have your precious time back? You've only used up two hours – no, five." He smirked.

"Because," I tried. What did I have to offer? I had my necklace and my bracelet and my pack…

"Because," I said eagerly. "I have an Mp3 player."

"A what?" he asked in confusion.

"An Mp3 player," I said, pulling off my backpack and rummaging in it. "It's a little device where you can play loads of music. I've got about two hundred songs or something on mine." I pulled out the little silver machine and my headphones. "I had it in case I got stuck somewhere for a long period of time, but this use is good enough."

I could tell he was interested. "How does it work?" he asked carefully.

"Like this," I demonstrated how to turn it on and how to make the volume loud. "Then you just press this button with the triangle." I did so. "And voila! Fall Out Boy!"

"Drink down your gin and kerosene," the Mp3 player wailed.

The Goblin King cringed slightly and I paused it. "Is that music?"

I gasped. "Of course it is. Fall Out Boy (that's the group) is awesome recorded. Live they aren't so great, but honestly – the only thing that doesn't sound like music on here is my French lessons. I have other things on it as well." I turned it off and held it out. "So do you want it?"

He seemed almost like a little boy as he tilted his head and stared at it with almost greedy eyes. "And you just want the time I took away given back?" he asked.

Thinking for a moment I said, "Yes, and I want no more time to be taken or this time taken again. You're to not mess around with it at all for the remainder of my running the Labyrinth."

A pause. I wondered if I had left anything out – they took things very literally here. However, he said, "Agreed," and pushed the time back so I've only used up two and half hours.

He took the Mp3 player from me and disappeared, off to play with his new toy.

I almost wooted with joy that he was gone but instead just did a little dance. He's gone! He's gone! I didn't even care that I had lost my Mp3 player – which was close to being my favorite electronic device after my computer. I loved the internet…

However, I was on a time limit I reminded myself. I tuned away from the direction I had just left and looked around.

The walls were like at my hips now and the sun felt awesome on my face. It really had been dark back there. There seemed to be a raised dais in the center of this opening area. Around it were about five different openings like the one I had just come through.

I marched my way up to the center and looked around. They all looked mostly the same – I didn't know which way to go. "Damn," I said. "How am I going to rescue Case and Jen now?"

A/N: Raise your hand if you liked this chapter or found it amusing at any point! /searches cyberspace/ Erm, how about a review telling me what your favorite line was?

Thanks to my talented beta Sennethe - I'm so lucky to have her beta-ing for me. And also thank you to my reviewers! I never expected to even get this much attention from a fic I wrote just to amuse myself! Thanks so much!

Alright now I'm starting like an Academy Award winner...Please take the time to review!

Posted: 5-16-08