I am not going to say it, becuase if you haven't realized who really owns everything after nine chapters what difference will once more make?

I am sad to say that we are coming to an end...just one more chapter after this. :(

Thanks to all my readers, especially those of you have been leaving me reviews! :)

Before he knew it three days had passed. John and Olivia balanced those days between her daily sessions with Stanley (who John thought really was a nice guy), walks around the property (or trying to get John onto a horse), and evenings with Abby. In John's opinion Liv seemed a lot better than she was when he had arrived days before. She still wouldn't talk about what was really bothering her, but Stanley said she was making a lot of progress. Stanley was sure that she would be more than ready to return to work within a week.

Four days after his arrival in New Hampshire John knew that it was time for them to talk. He wasn't in a hurry to get her talk, god knows that General O'Neill gave him enough time off, but he could feel that Liv was ready, only she couldn't find a way to start. They had dinner with Abby that night, just as they had every night he was there, and then John asked her to go for a walk. The sun was beginning to set as they made their way out of the house but there wouldn't be a lack of light thanks to all the outside lamps that the Secret Service had installed. They headed out towards one of the big maple trees on the property, a spot that they had always considered to be their special place. When they got there John spread out a blanket that he had brought along with him. When they were comfortable John decided to break the silence.

"So, are you ready to talk?" John asked.

"About what John?"

"What's really bothering you. I know you Liv and I know when something is bothering you. There is something you want to talk about but don't know how to bring it up."

"Sometimes I hate that you know me so well. Stanley told me that it might be a good idea if I talked to you about everything, but I don't know how to start," she said from his side.

"How about you start from the beginning? Does this have to do with those weeks that you spent with Kolya?"

"In a way, but not really; Stanley has helped me come to grips with everything that happened there, but there were things that he said…"

"What did he say Liv?"

"He kept saying that he knew you would come after me because it was obvious that you still had feelings for me."

"Liv…"

"No John, please let me finish. I have spent the last seven years trying to get over you, to forget you. The truth is I can't. No matter what has happened between us, you will always be the man I love. I tried moving on, dating other men; hell, I even went out with Sam for awhile. But when it all came down to it, they weren't you. Josh tried to blame it on the fact that I was so young when we got together, but the reality is that to me anyway, no man can measure up to you."

"Liv, I was a jerk. I loved you so much and I never wanted to hurt you, but I did. The times that I would come to visit you when you were at law school, those were some of the happiest times of my life. I saw how much potential you had, that you were going to make a fantastic lawyer; but I felt that I was going to hold you back. Life in the Air Force is crazy; you never know how long you are going to be in a place, or how many times they are going to move you around to different bases. My weird way of thinking was that if I left you I would be able to keep you from ruining your career. If we had stayed together you wouldn't be able to stay in one place long enough to establish your career; and every time we moved to a different state, you would have to retake the bar exam. I didn't want to do that to you."

"It wasn't your choice to make John."

"I know that; I knew it then, too. And I want you to know, that there hasn't been a day since I walked out the door that I didn't regret it; and I never stopped loving you either. Kolya was right about that. You do mean too much to me for me to have left you there with him."

"John, there is something else…something I haven't been able to talk to Stanley about," Liv said.

"What?" he asked as he slid his arm around her shoulders.

"About Sara; about what happened. We never did get a chance to talk about it."

"Livy…"

"John I haven't been able to talk about her since she died. She was our baby. When she died…I thought that was why you left; that you walked out on me because you blamed me for her death."

"Olivia that was not your fault. You did everything that the doctor told you to. You cut back on your classes, you took all the vitamins that she told you about. Nothing you did or didn't do caused what happened. She came early, the doctor warned us that it was a possibility."

"The doctor said a few weeks, not two months. It was my fault John because I was too stubborn to take the semester off. I was determined to graduate with Josh and everyone else at the end of the term. I may have cut back on everything but I was still running full steam when it came to school. It was too much stress and that caused Sara to come so early."

"No, I don't want you to think that because you know it isn't true. Yes the doctor said she might come a few weeks early, but she also told you that it is normal—that some babies just come early. None of it was your fault. Sara was just too determined to make her entrance into the world, and she was too little when she came."

"But it was still my fault…"

"Olivia don't ever say it again. I will do what ever it takes to convince you that nothing was your fault. If anything, it was mine. I left you all alone with just Josh while you were pregnant, plus add on the fact that I had already told you that I wanted out of the marriage and it is obvious that any stress that you think caused you to go into labor so early was my fault. And when she died, I wasn't man enough to be there for you. I walked out the door and have regretted it ever since."

"I have waited seven years to hear you say all of that John, to know why you walked out the door."

"I'm not going to ask you to forgive me Liv, I don't deserve it."

"No, you don't. But that doesn't mean that we have to throw everything away."

* * * * * * * *

They spent four more days at the farm before real life called them. Olivia knew that she needed to get back to work as she feared what had happened in the two weeks she had left Josh and Sam to their own devises, and John knew that he would need to return to Atlantis soon. Neither of them wanted to leave the confines of the farm and the fresh start it brought to their relationship. They had managed to burry old skeletons and start from scratch. The night before they headed back to Washington, John took her out for dinner—a sort of first date. Abby had left them two days prior as she had a trip scheduled to Brazil and could not put it off. So they boarded a plane by themselves (with the Secret Service agents of course) and began their journey back to real life.

They were met at the airport by Josh whose face was covered in smiles when he saw them come down the stairs hand in hand. His feelings towards John had changed when Abby came back two days ago. She had told him that Olivia and John had sorted out their problems and were working on a fresh start. Josh had been torn at first when he heard that. John had been a good friend, but Olivia had always been like a little sister to him. When their relationship had hit the fan he of course had sided with Olivia, for obvious reasons other than the fact that he thought John was an ass. He was afraid that John would just hurt her all over again, but at the same time he knew that the only time that Olivia had been truly happy was when they were together. For that reason he was willing to give John another chance.

Josh greeted Liv with a big hug, happy to see that she was smiling again, (yet another reason not to kick John's ass). He and John shook hands and then Josh led them over to the car that he had waiting. Olivia took the opportunity for Josh to fill her in on everything that had happened in her absence. She was glad to know that the building was still in one piece and other than Josh having a little run in with a senator there had been no real problems. By the time that was done they had arrived at the White House. Josh had the forethought to get John his security clearance before leaving for the airport, so getting into the west wing was easy. They walked down the endless hallways until they finally reached Olivia's office. They put their stuff down and she noticed the mounds of papers that awaited her. No sooner than her bag had hit the floor than her assistant Claire had walked in the door. After quick pleasantries were exchanged between the two Claire began telling her what was on the schedule for the day.

"Well, it looks like I have to get to work," Olivia said once Claire had left the room.

"I guess so; and I should probably go check in with General Hammond over at the Pentagon."

"Are you going to have to get back to…well you know?"

"Yeah. But if I am lucky maybe I can get them to hold off until tomorrow. You up for dinner tonight?"

"Sounds like a plan," she said.

"See you later," John said giving her a quick kiss before walking out the door, leaving her standing there with Josh and the big grin on his face.

"Oh grow up Josh."

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