The pixie hurried. She used her spear to launch herself over a fallen log. She landed cleanly and continued to run. She had no time to stop and admire herself – besides she had done it many times before. And she wasn't the vain type, despite what people would think.

Abruptly, she stopped. Crouching into a low position, she scanned the area around her. She slowed her breathing until it was a faint whistle through her perked nose. She faintly heard a girl's cry in the distant.

If she had known what 'bingo' was, she may have said it. But she didn't so she just set her chin. One thing found, one more to go. Then the preparations as the Goblin King asked. The pixie's fingers reached to the satchel at her waist, the same color as her blue leaf dress. Paper crunched.

Satisfied, the pixie began to move again, slower than before, yet still as aware. She began to call in a false sing-song voice, "Your Majesty – Your Majesty! Where are you?"

Though I was still covered in the gunk, Glaw was finally clean. Well, as clean as he was going to get. The stuff wasn't coming off without a fight and was still all over Lester and me. It felt awful.

I had never liked going to the beach because of the sand that got everywhere. Well, there were other reasons too, but that was one of the main ones. And yet…had the dry sand that got stuck in my swimsuit been as bad as this wet muck? I needed a shower. Badly.

Another thing I had overlooked while planning. The thought that I might get filthy hadn't crossed my mind. It was one of the things never mentioned in fantasy novels or movies…Sarah had been pristine throughout Labyrinth. Why had I overlooked that? Seriously…

"Elisa? Elisa? Elisa? ELISA!"

Lester's voice jolted me from my inner ramblings. "Sorry," I said. "A bit lost in thought."

"We're lost in a more than just that," piped up Glaw. "I've never been here before."

"Great," I sighed. The area looked like something out of Tarzan or George of the Jungle. Vines and darkness and fauna galore was the landscape before me. It looked easy to get lost in. Especially since there was no way to tell where in the Labyrinth we actually were. The castle was hidden by the trees, so we didn't even have that for a guide.

"How much time have we lost?" I asked. "Do you guys have any idea where he sent us?" Perhaps we were back as far as the oubliette, or maybe even the gardens. The possibilities were endless.

Lester shook his head before moving past me to sniff a purple plant before us. It nipped at him. He nipped back. "Not sure," he said, still staring at the now cowering plant. "Jareth, I believe, isn't allowed to send you backwards."

"I don't understand. He takes time…"

The wolf shook his head. The plant began to inch away very slowly. I heard Glaw stifle a - did he just giggle? Giggle? Honestly.

The plant was suddenly crushed by Lester's paw. "Jareth," he said, "is governed by the rules of the Labyrinth. More so than any of the creatures that live here. As far as I know," said Lester. "His highness can't move you farther from the center of the Labyrinth." Noticing my still-perplexed look he added, shifting his paw so that the fronds of the little plant were curled about his claws. "Yes he can take away time, but it's one of those things not affected by the rules of the Labyrinth. Moving you backwards in your progress isn't allowed. Well, unless you verbally accepted it," he added the last thoughtfully.

"But didn't Elisa give Jareth permission to basically punish her?" chimed in Glaw. Lester just gave him a look and Glaw hurriedly said, "Not that I actually know about the rules 'bout governing the Labyrinth and such."

Lester sighed, padding around so that he was facing Glaw again. The plant was trapped by the edge of Lester's paw and was failing to edge away. "That does not count. As she's the Runner (more officially the Challenger) she is not a true citizen of the Labyrinth nor the subject the Goblin King's rule and is only bound by..."

"Wait a sec," I interrupted. "As enlightening the rules of the Labyrinth are, I think we are just wasting more time. Especially since we lost quite a bit back there." I jerked a finger towards the pit of quicksand behind me. "Unless we have a quick way to figure out how much time we have left, we need to get going. Now."

They seemed to realize how frustrated I had become, and they started to move forward. The little flower got away at last but I think I was the only one who noticed in the end. Shame, I was thinking of naming it Audrey...

We had barely moved twenty feet into the undergrowth when we heard the sound of shrill calls and a muttering voice. The three of us just exchanged looks before we dove into a convenient bush. Filled with thorns. We then became even more scratched and bruised.

Oh what fun.

My breathing automatically slowed as the steps came closer and the voices became louder. I thought I heard an anxious squeak from Glaw and I grabbed his mouth around the snout to shut it. We had no idea who or what it was! It could be Jareth Royal Pants again!

A voice could be made out then, "And what is going on? I don't know what we're doing here…"

There was an exasperated sigh, "I told you already – we're going to find Elisa and her comrades. Then you're doing as I asked before. Don't you remember…" The voice's owner came into my vision then. I instantly recognized the blue dress and red hair that made mine look tame.

"Aquina!" I shouted, jumping up from our hiding place. The sharp bush wasn't too happy with that though, and I lost my balance, got scratched even more, and whacked Lester across the face. I heard Glaw's yelp, before I finally fell.

"Ow," I groaned from on the ground. "Why doesn't anything happen normally here?"

"Is that her?" came a voice twinged with a slight Spanish accent. "You don't mean her do you?"

That voice sounded suspiciously familiar. I pulled my bruised, battered self to my knees and my eyes saw grey-brown robes. I looked higher and saw a white beard, a knobby face, and an awesome hat.

"The Wiseman?" I asked in disbelief. "I thought none of the guys from the movie except Ole Jareth were here."

Aquina huffed, "I'm so glad you were concerned for my safety back there…"

Lester, having emerged from the bush along with Glaw, growled at the pixie. She hopped back.

"Wiseman?" queried the Old Man. "Who's he?"

I made it to my feet from my knees, realizing that the man was only a few inches shorter than me. He had looked shorter in the movie…"Why, you of course," I said. "Or at least that's what the film credits called you." I paused. "I think."

"A wise man?" the hat crowed. "That's the funniest thing I've heard in a very long time. Wiseman!" He began a hacking laugh.

My eyes widened. "I don't get it. Who are you then?"

He straightened his hunched body, and with a proud voice said, "I am the Goblin King."

The hat snorted, and I stared in dumbfounded silence. Before my mind could even come up with a stupid retort, he spoke again. Though his voice still had that proud authority, his eyes were starting to drift to other areas.

"It seems like just yesterday that I created this kingdom…no, it must have been the day before yesterday since I had tea with that Fey fellow. Fine man though he needs to control that temper and stop that infernal singing…"

"Psh – his singing is all that keeps him sane," said the Hat. He snorted. "You didn't and wouldn't and look where you are now – as crazy as the Alice girl!"

"I am not!"

"Yes you are!"

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes you are!"

My eyes darted up and down between the strange ping-pong match. How long would they actually go on for? And was he really the Goblin King?

Aquina interrupted my thoughts. "Your Majesty!" He and the Hat stopped suddenly, and they looked to her. "Didn't you need to give something to Elisa?"

My brows furrowed, and so did his. "No, you said you wanted us to come and help her, but she's out. That was it, wasn't it?" The hat snorted again.

The pixie emitted a furious little sound. "Don't you remember - we just talked about how you'd give that thing to Elisa."

"What?" I asked. They turned. "Look, I really don't need anything at the moment except a bath – and need to get going. I have a gazillion questions, but I don't think I can do that now, as Case and Jen are still wait – AGH!"

Before I could finish my sentence, a large amount of water fell on me. Well, fell wasn't the right word – drenched, dumped, or caused me to practically drown would be more accurate. The sand coating my body began to slide off very slowly, but still – I felt worse than before. Slimy instead of coarse.

I just wanted to cry. I really did, but closed my eyes tightly, and began reciting the Leaving Speech in my head. Once slightly calmer, eyes still closed I asked, "How much are we betting that that was His Majesty's fault?"

The voice of the Former Goblin King/Wiseman/Somebody said gently, "Didn't you say you needed a shower? I might have overdone it…"

I grabbed my hair, and it took most of my self-restraint to not pull my hair out. I was going insane, I was slowly going insane – and how can an insane person solve a Labyrinth?

A quote from Alice in Wonderland about madness struck me then – about only being in Wonderland because of being mad. Was the Labyrinth the same?

I realized I was procrastinating. I dropped my hands, and then whipped off my backpack. The contents were probably wrecked. I opened the bag, and was right. My extra pair of socks were destroyed, soaking wet and sandy. My bottle of water was coated…but what was inside looked safe. As did my bottle of ibuprofen. I vaguely considered taking some, but decided against it – my headache was probably not worthy of it.

I could feel their eyes on me, but I continued to dig. Notebook and pencil were disgusting, the pencil might be usable eventually…at least the notebook hadn't anything in it. My toothbrush and small thing of Lysol (in case of ending up near the bog) were broken and covered. I assumed my bag would smell of the too-fragrant stuff if it weren't for the fact it now was full of sandy muck.

At least my Ziploc bag of animal crackers was safe. I loved my animal crackers.

Giving a sigh, I packed it up again. They all were still staring at me. "What? Did you want something? These were the only supplies I had."

Lester gave me a glare, "And were they important?"

I opened my mouth…and shut it. I shook my head. "Fine, let's get going as we were going to do earlier before someone had to make this situation worse." I turned, and my feet squelched on the ground. Yuck.

"Wait!" said the Hat. I gave a sigh and turned back. "The ole man forgot to give you something."

I gestured to my dripping hair (slightly less huge, but now a knotty mess). "I think I got it already."

Glaw gave a mighty flap of his wings and he soared upwards. Though the others turned to see his short flight, I didn't, instead continuing to glare at The Hat and the Old Man's (for lack of an accurate name) behavior. Thus I missed it when Glaw landed on my shoulders, digging his claws in again.

This really wasn't going well for me. Next time I decided to go plan a trip to the middle of fantasy land, I was going to bring a spare outfit as something to change into, and shoulder padding. My cousin used to play football – I might be able to get something from him…

Aquina suddenly gave a frustrated growl, moving towards the Old Man. I watched, almost horrified, as she grabbed the belt that tied his robes shut. Funny, I didn't remember that in the film either.

Tugging sharply, she wrenched free a small brown pouch and threw it to me. I missed it, but luckily Glaw caught it. He dropped it into my palms.

"Thanks," I muttered. The others were staring again. "Well, if that's it and I was supposed to get this – can we go now? I think I've said this already, but I'm on a time limit, people."

"Of course," said the Old Man. "And it's tea time isn't it? Perhaps that Jareth chap will visit us again. He tells the oddest stories these days…"

And just like that he strode from our sight. My jaw dropped (or had it been that way the entire time?) as his long robes trailed from my view, and the Hat's nagging stopped echoing in my ears.

Lester gave a low bark. "Well, that was unexpected."

"No shit," I said, shaking my head. "And how come out of all the guys from the movie I'm stuck with His Royal Tightiness and a lunatic Old Guy?"

The ground shook.

"On second thought – they really are quite lovely, don't you think so?" I said, big beaming smile on my face. "Nothing like tights. Nothing like tights at all…" I lowered my voice. "Let's get out of these woods already."

Still clutching the small sack given to me, we ran.

A/N: What's in the sack? I'll give you a hint - picky children don't like it.

The next chapter will hopefully be out sooner - and feature things going slightly downhill for Elisa...

Please take the time to leave a review!

Posted: 10-23-08