Sorry it took so long to get this to you guys! I've been kind of busy with school. Plus I don't have the right program to upload this myself. So anywaaay... ENJOY! Bella and Edward share a few words... and some other things... LEMOOON!
Chapter Two: Class is Definitely in Session
After crawling out of the ocean and gathering my things, I put my soiled clothes back on. Kissed Jacob softly on the lips and guiltily made my way home. When I got there Charlie had a note waiting to inform me that I was late, I needed to call the school, and he would talk to me in the morning. I groaned and made my way up the stairs.
Blindly, I walked into my room and grabbed my pajamas and toiletries, not even bothering to turn on the light. I headed right to the bathroom and turned on the water. I undressed and examined my skin in the mirror. The area around my hips have all ready begun to darken in the shape of Jacob's hands. I groaned again and stepped into the tub.
The hot stream of water flowed over me, relaxing my muscles as I washed my body and hair. I stood there for a few minutes then got out. I rung the water out of my hair, combed through it, and then threw on my pajamas. I trudged back to my room, and tossed my clothes on the floor, then crawled into my bed. When I buried my face deep into my pillow, I smelled the sweetest smell I knew. The feeling of guilt washed over me again. My stomach began to rumble with nausea. "Ahhhh…" I moaned into my pillow. I sat up and put my face into my hands and took a deep breath.
"Well, hello to you too."
A squeal of fear flew out with my exhaling breath. "Edward!" My eyes traveled over to the sound of his voice. He was in the corner of my room sitting in the rocking chair. The moonlight shining through my window cast an eerie glow on his magnificent form. "What are you doing here!" I whispered harshly.
He rose smoothly from his seat and walked over to the bed to stand at the end. I saw him raise an eyebrow. "Aren't I here every night?"
"Well, yes, but…" I was dumbfounded at my own stupidity. What are you doing here? Ugh. "I guess, I wasn't expecting you." I mumbled.
"Why wouldn't you be expecting me?" He asked, his head tilted to the side.
My face flushed with guilt and I was immensely gracious that he couldn't hear my thoughts. I wasn't thinking. I couldn't think, obviously. Why wouldn't Edward be here? It's not like he knows why I wouldn't want him here… Would he? "I don't know. I just, was, um, startled… that's all."
His brow furrowed under his bronze colored hair. He put his hands in his pockets and looked down at the foot of the bed. "I followed you tonight." My heart sped up. He looked back up at me. I could see the questions in his golden eyes and I just wanted to go find a cliff and jump off of it… again.
"You followed me?" I repeated, my brain was at a loss tonight. "But you're not supposed to come across the line."
"I didn't. I just followed you to the line and then from it." He said matter-of-factly.
"Well, what are you doing following me anyway?" I felt the misguided anger seeping into my voice.
"Because I was curious. You've been acting really strange lately, my love." My heart was loud enough for me to hear. "What's going on with you?"
My mouth went dry and I felt the intense urge to tell him. To just say it and be done with it and incur his wrath. But I couldn't do it. I just couldn't break his heart, because it would, whether it was beating or not. I hated myself. I hated everything that I was and ever would be. "I don't know, Edward." I whispered sadly. I couldn't stand the sight of him because I knew that he was looking at me with love in his eyes, and I didn't deserve it. "Listen," I said looking away from him. "Is it possible if you could… not be here tonight?"
He was silent for a while, but I couldn't bring my eyes up to look at him. I felt his cold hands on my face. But before I could see him I quickly shut my eyes. The tears threatened once more. "If that's what you want." He said simply, his hands fell away from me, then I felt his cold lips press softly against mine.
I opened my eyes to tell him that I was sorry, but he was all ready gone. With a heavy sigh, the tears began flowing freely. A sob barreled it's way out of my chest as soon as my face hit the pillow.
I awoke to the harsh sunlight in my face and turned over. I realized that it was unusually warm, as my hand reached out. It fell limply back to the bed. I cracked one eye open to look around. He's not here. The realization sent me flying back into last night. The beach… Jacob… I wanted to die.
I struggled my way out of the bed and to the bathroom. I stopped just outside the door and listened for any movement downstairs. There was none, Charlie must have left early. Good, no lectures. Until later anyway.
With the speed of frozen molasses on a sleeping turtle's back, I prepared for work. I knew that I was all ready late, but I just could not make myself move any faster. Finally, about an hour later, I was out the door. I was thinking that this trip to work was pointless and I fought the urge to go back home and crawl into bed. But I had nothing else to do today, and Charlie would ask way too many questions. Then there would be Edward... I continued my journey.
When I got there I looked for Mrs. Newton to try to give her an excuse. She wasn't there, but the new manager was. "My truck wouldn't start." I told her. She looked mean.
"Well, it says here that this is your third time being tardy this week, that means a dock in your pay." She was mean.
She handed me some kind of slip, I was too tired to read it, so I placed it in my back pocket. I headed on to my station and grabbed the ugly vest and put it on. The day crept on as the hours tip-toed by. After what felt like forever, my shift was over and I was walking out to my truck. When I got in I heard the crinkling and remembered the paper in my pocket. I took it out and read it.
It was a note from my dad in Mrs. Newton's handwriting.
Your father called and asked me to remind you to give the school a call. They said that it was urgent. Have a good day!
I crumbled the note up and threw it on the floor of the truck. What could they want? I started to head home, then decided to go up there instead. When I got there I realized that it was about six o'clock in the evening and that the school was closed. Frustrated, I put my head against my steering wheel.
The thought of having to face Edward kept making my stomach do flip flops. Could I tell the love of my life that I had sex with the other man that I just so happen to be in love with as well?
The rapid knocking on my window made me jump, my head flew back and smacked the back of my seat. "OW!" My hand went up to rub my semi-hurt head and I knocked my knuckles against the roof. I dropped my hand to my lap and sat, slightly dazed at my own blunders. A single knock on the window, reminded me to look over.
"You okay?" His velvet voice seeped through the walls of the truck. His lips were shaped into that crooked smile that makes my heart melt. But this time, it made my heart crumble. I nodded slowly and unlocked my door.
Edward opened the door and got in as I slid over. My heart was hammering in my chest by this point. I was too scared to look at him. "Still following me, I see." I said nervously to fill the awkward silence.
"What else do you expect me to do, when you're my life?" He asked with a small laugh.
My stomach dropped out and instantly the tears were back. My face dropped into my hands and I called for death's sweet swift wings to just snatch me from my place beside him.
"Whoa." Edward breathed. His arms quickly encircled me and he pulled me onto his lap. "What is the matter?" He asked urgently, shaking my shoulders.
I finally looked at him and opened my mouth to speak, but nothing in the form of sanity came out. So I stopped trying and just continued to cry.
"Okay… okay…" He whispered as he rubbed his hands down my back. I don't deserve him. I don't deserve to be alive. But for the sake of him, I pulled myself together. I can't keep it from him. I just can't.
I took a deep breath and waited for my sanity to find me. "I saw Jacob last night." I said quietly. I could barely hear myself, but I knew he heard me.
Edward took a while to answer. And when he did, it was simply- "I know."
His eyes have darkened some from just last night. I bit my bottom lip as the shame flushed my face. "I couldn't… I didn't mean to-… How can you…" I couldn't form a complete sentence.
"When you came home I smelled you instantly. Or I smelled him, rather." He whispered. His eyes seemed to have darken even more with just that one statement, he was looking off into the distance. "I knew. I knew because the scent was too strong…"
My mouth fell open as I heard this. He all ready knew… "Why are you here?" I asked dumbfounded.
His eyes softened a bit and he looked back at me, I could see the sadness there. The sadness caused by me and my stupid fickle, finicky heart. He shrugged, "Because I love you. And I understand." It should not be beating.
"No."
"No?" He asked confused.
"No, no, no! You're not supposed to understand!" I stared at him in disbelief. How could he honestly sit here and tell me that he understands what I've done? "No Edward! You're supposed to hate me! You're supposed to want to take the life from me! Walk out on me! Drop my truck, with me in it, off the top of Mount Everest! Anything but understand!"
"Hey! Hey… No…" He said trying to calm me down. "No, I could never do any of those things. I could never do anything but love you. I know that you love him. I know that you have certain… wants and needs that I can't really attend to without causing you harm. I could never live with myself if I hurt you, you know that."
"But I hurt you! I hurt you Edward! That is something I never EVER wanted to do! And here you are comforting me! It's not right! It's not fair to you!"
"Life isn't fair, my love. Listen," He grabbed my arms and I realized that they had been flailing around. He pinned them down to my sides and gently caressed them. "Yes, yes you did hurt me. But it happened and there's nothing that we can do to reverse it. And I love you way too much to let it stand in the way of us being together. You are my everything."
I searched his eyes to try to find the truth in them. To see if he was actually really angry and trying to mask it, or if he was being sincere. I saw nothing but love there. I still didn't understand it. I didn't understand him. "So what now? Do we just… try to forget that this ever happened?"
Edward shrugged. His face, so sad. "That's up to you. I'll always love you. But if you want to be with him…"
"No." I blurted out. But I was not really sure. As much as I loved Edward, I could not deny Jacob.
He looked at me with a new frustration in his eyes. "I can understand if you would want to be with him. He can give you so many things that I can't."
"Edward… He can't give me you. You are everything that I want." But so is he. "I can't live without you." Without either of you. I shut my eyes tight and shook my head. "I love you Edward." I said, more to myself than to him.
His cool hands were on my face, holding my head still. "I love you, too." His sweet breath blew across my face and I was intoxicated again. His marble lips pressed gently against mine and the world threatened to fall away. He deepened the kiss and my arms encircled his neck. I couldn't stop my mind from noting the differences as his hands, cold as ice, they slid up the back of my shirt and pressed against my skin there.
I pulled back, breaking the kiss. I needed to see his eyes. His lids were heavy with a hunger and his eyes were a dark gold. His lips curled into a smile as one of his hands came up and he placed it on the side of my face to pull me back to him. His hand tangled in my hair and his tongue twisted around my own. His usual care gone for the moment. He pulled my bottom lip into his mouth and sucked on it, I felt his teeth lightly clamp down and then he let go.
"You shouldn't tease me like that." I said, breathing heavily.
"What's fun without a little teasing, huh?" There was a wicked smile on his face. His hand slid out of my hair, down the crevice between my breasts, down my stomach and then into the front of my jeans, quick as lightening. Soon I felt the thunder, as his cold fingers glided in to caress me.
"Edward…" I started to protest. But the feel of his slim icy fingers against my warmth felt so good. My mind quickly flashed to Jacob, and I tried to shake it away. Edward tensed and I looked away from him trying, unsuccessfully to hide my guilt.
"Did he touch you like this?" He asked. His voice, smooth as silk, with the combination of his fingers, sent a sharp shiver down my spine. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. The faintest of growls rumbled through his chest. "Look at me." I did as he commanded and I felt the tears start to well up. "Did he touch you like this?" He repeated with a little more force.
"Yes." My voice was no more than a breath.
Suddenly his other hand slid down the back of my jeans and I was pulled closer to him. I felt his fingers slip down to find my other hole. "How about like this?" He purred. His fingers started to move in circular motions. My mouth fell open on a gasp and he stuck his tongue in.
I pulled him in to kiss him, while his fingers sent my hips to slowly gyrating. When I couldn't breathe, my head fell back to take in a deep breath and hit the steering wheel. "You're making me so wet…"
"That's the idea." He whispered. His lips found my neck and began placing kisses there. His nose found my collarbone and he inhaled then sighed. "I want to taste you."
My body jumped as his fingers flew inside of me. The sound of the horn echoed through the air. "Oh sweet fu-mmm… Oh my…" His hands were moving fast, each finger playing it's own part in making me want to scream.
Edward pulled me even closer to his body. I felt his arm tighten around me. His lips traveled up my collarbone and back to my lips. "Do you want to cum for me?" He asked.
"Oh God, yes." I moaned. Just as I answered him, I felt his fingers curl inside of me, his thumb pushed against my bud, and his other fingers circled faster.
He placed his lips to my cheek and kissed his way to my ear. "Then do it." He snarled. At the sound of his voice my body bucked and I felt the release that he had been egging on. The horn sounded again, but it was drowned out by my heavy breathing. He pulled his hand out of the front of my pants and then placed one of his fingers into his mouth then closed his eyes. "Mmmmm…"
He opened his eyes slowly and then placed the same finger to my lips. He ran it along the length of them. I stuck out my tongue and sucked his finger into my mouth. His other hand grabbed hold of my buttocks and he pulled me forward. "We're going to have to do something about that." I muttered, his finger still in my mouth.
"About what?" He asked, his crooked smile in place.
I took his finger out of my mouth and then reached down to cup the bulge in his pants. "This…" I murmured.
Doubt clouded his eyes for the shortest of seconds, then his smile widened into a grin and the doubt was gone... "Indeed, we will." Suddenly we weren't in the truck anymore, but flying from it and into the building of the school. I didn't notice where we were when we stopped until the dizziness died down.
When my eyes finally adjusted and I saw that we were inside the biology lab. Where we had our first class together. I was still in his arms when he walked over and placed me on our table. His eyes were dancing in the darkness and it brought a smile to my lips. How could I have hurt him? I placed my hands on his face and pushed aside all thoughts of Jacob. "Didn't you almost kill me here?"
"Almost," He laughed darkly. "But I think I'll make up for that right now." He brought his lips down to kiss me again. He kissed me slowly and his hands found my face. His fingers lightly ran over my cheeks, then down to the back of my neck. I ran my fingers through his tousled hair then I pulled him closer to me.
He was standing in between my legs, so I wrapped them around his waist to feel him. I pushed myself against him and he groaned against my lips. I slowly brought my hands down to his shoulders, then down to find the buttons on his shirt. I undid them and slid his shirt off and unto the floor, then pressed my hands against his cold bare chest. I rubbed my fingers against his nipples and down the ripples on his abdomen. I broke away and brought my lips down to place warm kisses everywhere my fingers has just left. "I'm so sorry Edward." I murmured between kisses. "I'm so sorry."
Edward gripped my hair lightly and I looked up into his eyes. "Then show me." There was a darkness there that I didn't expect. I also didn't expect it to turn me on like it did.
Slowly I slid off of the table and I unbuttoned his jeans. I knelt before him and pulled them down. I trailed my hands up the cool length of his thighs and then reached into the top of his boxer briefs. I gently wrapped my hands around his girth and heard his sharp intake of breath. With my other hand I reached up and pulled them down a bit to reveal what my hand was holding. He was rock hard and glacial.
I gasped at the size of him then hesitated, unsure of what I was about to do, I looked back up at him. "Show me." He breathed again. The pallid color of his exposed skin shone brightly in the darkness of the room. I saw his chest heaving up and down and I brought my lips to graze the tip of him, kissing it lightly.
Slowly I opened my mouth and took him into it. I let my tongue slide back and forth against the cool underside of him as one of my hands gripped his thigh. With the other hand I began to stroke and caress him as I moved my mouth in a circular and back and forth motion.
After a while I felt him lean over me and onto the table. His heavy breathing and grunts filled the room. I sucked hard on him and then let go with a pop. I placed kisses all up and down the length of him and then used my teeth to nibble a bit on the side. I heard and felt the scraping, it was like putting teeth to stone. I licked him once more before I felt his hands come down on my shoulders.
He lifted me up into the air and set me on my feet on the table. His hands went for my jeans, but I stepped back. I looked down and saw the hunger and curiosity in his eyes. I began to sway my hips seductively. I kicked my shoes off and ran my hands up and down the front of my shirt then grabbed the hem of it. I pulled at it hard while I winked at him and bit my bottom lip. I then yanked it over my head and threw it at him.
He quickly dodged it and let it fall to the floor and was back in his position like he had never even moved. Then I turned around and unbuttoned my jeans, bending over sensuously as I rolled them down and off my legs. I turned back to him and his eyes traveled over my body. His eyes lingered for a moment at my hips and something crossed his face. But it was gone quickly as his eyes landed on my breasts. I reached behind me and unhooked the bra and slid it off of my shoulders. I sauntered over and placed it on his head.
He smiled crookedly, but his eyes were still dark with lust and something else. His hands then slid up my legs and then stopped at my hips. He picked me up and then set me back down on the table a little harder than I expected. The contact made a slapping sound. "Ow." I breathed.
With another smile he laid me back on the table. He grabbed a handful of each breast and then leaned over to lick my nipples. His hands then moved down to my hips, and he slid his icy fingers under the waistband of my panties. I lifted my hips as he began pulling them off of my body. I giggled as he grabbed my foot. He then brought it to his lips, kissing my big toe and then sucking it into his mouth. He let it go with a pop, imitating me.
He kissed his way back up my leg, his frigid lips blazed a trail up to my thigh. His tongue then glided in and he pressed it against my most sensitive of spots. My body jerked from the sudden cold and my nipples hardened instantly. I leaned up on my elbows and covered my breasts with my hands, squeezed them, and watched Edward as he licked me from hole to centre and then back again. His eyes were intent on my face as he continued to lick and tease me with his tongue and his teeth. I felt a slight nip just above my bud and instantly felt the heat.
My eyes widened as I felt the fire begin to spread along my clit. "Oh my God!" I exclaimed as I realized what happened. I looked at Edward with fear in my eyes and was met with calm. I tried to move, but he pressed his hands on my pelvis, holding me in place. I felt the heat mixing with the cool swipes of his tongue and my eyes rolled to the back of my head. Sweat started to form throughout my body as one of my elbows slipped and I fell back onto the table, crying out.
Edward's lips enveloped my clit and I felt him sucking on it, completely drawing the heated venom back out, the cold instantly taking it's place. My body arched underneath his hands. And then, quite suddenly, I was filled.
I felt the cool length of him inside of me hitting my spot and a spasm raged through my body. The sweat that had formed made it easier for him to slide me forward. He had placed one of my legs up and over his shoulder, while holding the thigh of my other leg. The skin of my back stuck slightly to the table as I was pushed forward and then pulled back in a rhythmic motion.
He then pulled me toward him so that my buttocks hung slightly over the side. The feel of him, wintry and tantalizing, pumping in the warmth of my depths sent my senses into overdrive. My breath caught in my throat as his finger pressed against my bud, circling it. His eyes stood out in the faint light of the room, they were deepest, oddest mixture of gold and black I had ever seen. "Say my name." He growled.
"Ooooh Edward." My body twitched and bucked again.
"Say it again." He said putting more pressure with his thumb.
"Edwaaaard." I moaned gasping for air.
He suddenly pushed me forward again and got on his knees below me. He lifted my back up off the table and held on to the back of my hips as he pushed himself in as far as he could go and a moan escaped his lips. My arms shook from the pressure of holding my body up and the rest of me was shook from the waves of pleasure coursing through it. "Say you're mine."
My voice came out as a whimper as I felt him began to pound into me, continuously hitting the hilt of me. I grabbed onto his arms as the sound of my flesh slapping and rippling against the stone of his body resounded throughout the room.
"SAY IT!" He yelled, sending a shudder of fear and ecstasy through my body. He continued to pound into me, a shiver running through his own. I heard his breath catch in his throat and his movements sped up. A deep throaty moan was all that could escape my lips and I started to grind my hips against him, adding to the thrill.
Our heavy breathing became erratic and sharp as we climbed higher and higher. My grip tightened on his arms as I felt the pressure build where he filled me. My walls tightened around him, clamping and loosening. His stone frame began to shake from a low rumbling growl that started to build at the very core of him.
His hands dropped from my hips and grabbed the edges of the table. I continued to grind against him as he continued to thrust, our bodies hitting and tilting into a climax that took hold of us both, freezing us in a moment of bliss. I was vaguely aware of a snapping sound as a cry of pleasure escaped both of our lips.
My body went limp, sliding from around him, and my back hit the table with a slap. His frosty hands slid up my legs and gripped my hips once more. I somehow found the strength to slide my hands up to his shoulders. He picked me up and I wrapped my arms around his neck. He rested his cold lips on the heated skin beneath my ear.
"Please say it." He whispered breathlessly. I caught a hint of that something else in his voice and sat back a bit to look him in the eye.
What I saw there shattered my heart into a million pieces. "Edward," I said as I pressed my hands to his cheeks. "I will always be yours."
A faint smile touched his lips and he leaned in to seal my words, as if to stop me before I could take them back. Not that I ever would. In my shattered heart I felt the bells ringing true. I could never leave him. "Yes, you will be." He whispered in between kisses.
His arms formed a vice grip around my waist, holding me dangerously close. I wrapped my arms around his neck once more and noticed the shards of wood splayed out on the table and floor. And with that I knew that his words were more of a threat than an agreement.
Edward's body tensed and he quickly stood us both up. "Time to go." He said with a grin.
"What is it?" I asked surprised by his rushed demeanor.
"Janitor." He whispered, gathering our clothes.
"Seriously!" I hissed looking around, instantly covering my body and crouching behind the table in the dark. He spied my shirt across the room and hurried to retrieve it. I stepped on a piece of wood and looked at the table again. "Oh my God. Edward, the table." I couldn't help but snicker.
On either side of the table was a broken imprint of Edward's hands. "Nothing we can do about it right now, love. Get dressed."
By the time I looked up, he was completely dressed and was looking around for my other shoe. "Where are my panties?" I asked as I quickly slipped my pants on.
Edward only smiled. "Would you hurry please?" Even though he asked, he stepped over to yank the shirt over my head, then bent down to help put my shoes on, while I slipped my bra on under the shirt. "Now, come on." He whispered once I was decent. He quickly picked me up into his arms and hurried from the room.
We flew back to my truck and instead of starting it, Edward put me in the passenger's seat, then got behind and pushed it out onto the road. Once we were a ways away from the school he slid in and started it up. The truck roared to life and then we were off. I sighed and turned my body toward him to stare at him while he drove, thankful that he wasn't pushing my poor truck to the limit.
I took a deep breath and he looked over at me, sliding his hand into my lap and smiling. I laced my fingers with his and glanced down at our entwined fingers. The paleness of his skin stood out against my own there in the fading light. "Tell me what you're thinking." He whispered.
I smiled slightly and looked up at him, "That I'm not dead."
His chuckles filled the space in the cab. "No, you're not." But I could hear the distress there.
"Would you rather I was?" I asked, confused.
"No, love, it's not that. It's just," He sighed. "It's just that, I wasn't ready for that to happen."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, I wasn't ready for us to take that step. No doubt, that my body wanted to. I've always wanted you, love. But my fear of hurting you, which I'm so glad and grateful that I didn't, was so completely clouded that I let my body and instinct take over."
"Clouded? By what?"
"Jealousy." He answered after a few agonizing seconds. His eyes traveled over to my face when I fell silent and stared at nothing in particular. He squeezed my hand lightly after tears started to roll down my cheeks. "It is still terribly frustrating to not know what you're thinking. Talk to me."
My lips began to tremble a bit, but I pushed back the threatening sob. "I'm so horrible." I dared not look up at him, but felt the truck coast to a stop. I looked up to see that we were in front of Charlie's house. When I looked back at him he was staring back at me intently, waiting for me to go on. I took a deep breath, "I just couldn't stop myself, Edward. I saw things…"
"Like…?" He prompted when I went no further.
"I saw my children, or what would have been my children. With Jacob. If we were together," I said. "And for a minute, I wanted that. I wanted to be with him to have that world that I saw that day on the mountain, when he kissed me. And because I wanted that it was like I needed him. I needed to know…" My voice was no more than a whisper. My all ready broken heart seemed to erode even more as I admitted this to him.
The only sound in the truck was my heavy breathing as the sob continuously tried to push it's way out. Edward's face was turned away from mine and he stared out at the road. A car passed by, headlights casting a glow on his hardened face. There seemed to be no life there, he was a statue, not blinking, not even seeming to breathe.
"Please say something…" I begged after the longest moment. I felt his hand sliding from mine and gripped tightly to it with both hands. "Edward…"
"I'm taking that from you. I'm taking the very life from you."
"Edward, you are my life." I said, scooting closer to him and taking his face in my hands.
"No…," He said closing his eyes and pulling out of my grip. I dropped my hands to my lap. "I mean, what you were destined to be. A wife, a mother. To live a long satisfying life and grow old and die leaving behind a family. A legacy."
"Who said that that was promised to me?"
"Nobody said it, but it's assumed. It's a possibility, and I am taking that away from you." He said still looking away.
"What if you're my destiny? Did you ever think about that? What if I'm supposed to exist and be with you forever? We found each other for a reason Edward."
"But you also found him." He said finally looking me full on in the face. I cringed at his words, finding the slightest bit of truth in them. I could only shake my head. "Yes, love. There's no doubt in my mind that you do love him. That you were meant to be with him."
"But I'm not with him." I pushed trying to make him see.
"No, not now. But you were."
"Edward, I will never forgive myself for that." I placed my hands on his face again, this time he didn't pull away. "But you have to believe that you are all that I want. I could never be without you. Do you not remember what happened to me when you left?"
Pain clouded over his eyes, as the thoughts and memories of my descent into that void of depression flashed through his mind. Borrowed thoughts from none other than Jacob himself. "I'll never forgive myself for that either."
"Yes, I do love Jacob. But I crave you. He could never be to me what you are." I took his hand and placed it over my beating heart.
"This… infernal thing, is yours. You're the reason why it beats."
"And I would also be the reason why it stopped." He murmured looking down, letting his hand rest there.
"And then we would be together, forever. It's yours, whether it beats or not." I smiled. "Look at me." His scorching golden eyes traveled slowly to meet my own. "I meant what I said. I will always be yours."
Without a word he pulled me to him, pressing his lips against mine with a soft fury. Under the cold heat of his touch, I felt the doubt that was still inside me whittle away to the size of a pin top. But in the back of my mind I knew it would always be there.