-[aka really anonymous anonymous- I'm glad you can tell that both of them have good intentions (at least regards to Lily).
With Severus… he is much more emotional than his older self. He tends to act in the heat of the moment. That's why he kissed her, I think. Not really anything logical there. Thanks for the review!
frayedsoul- It might sound odd but I'm honored! Sorry you cried, I mean. Don't worry, as it's not the end yet. I'm glad you were taken by surprise, though.
Audriella- Thank you! Actually, the "wounded love" comment came from a sermon of a local priest. He was convinced that the opposite of love is not hate but no love at all. I always thought it was very wise.
SheElf- Yes, they'll work it out. Kinda. Thanks for the review.
Andi- Thanks! I'm glad you were surprised!
Noah-Body- That always happens to me, too. I hate that! I hope you enjoy (ed?) the rest of the story.
Thanks as always for the lovely reviews!WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS GRAPHIC SEXUAL CONTENT. Please don't read unless you are allowed to read "Mature" fiction.
PART TWO
Picking a strand of noodle out of my black hair I try to put myself upright, careful not place my hand into any more unidentifiable goop. Knee deep in sick, I tentatively strain my neck and lift the lid of the dumpster so that a sliver of neon light enters my new abode. They've left. But now a slew of Aurors are sniffing about the place, bending over unconscious bodies, trench-coated and silent. Kingsley's mid-section is feet away from my long nose, he stares at one body and lifts a cigarette to his lips, lighting it with his wand.
"Who did this?" Rookwood asks, in a voice that is full of petty, fake surprise.
Kingsley growls in his comforting black voice, "Potter."
Rookwood, although I can't see him, I'm sure is pulling a disdainfully disapproving face. "Potter is a loose cannon, sir," Rookwood says. "Do we even have proof they were raping her?"
"He said it was an attack," mumbles Kingsley, "they were trying to rape her."
"Good God!" says another Auror. Might be Longbottom, I can't say…
I see five of their asses bending over the man that I had hit with a curse. His blood glimmers in the florescent lights.
My foot falls, squelching into more garbage, an apple core uncomfortably at my knee.
"Potter should have his badge suspended immediately!" Rookwood shouts.
"This is probably why he asked for a medic. He can sometimes let his energy get away from him."
I breathe. It would suck if Potter had to admit that I was there… then these maggots would be after me. It was my curse, after all. I doubt, somehow, that he would take the wrap for me.
Sucking the air, Rookwood mutters, "Sir, this is unacceptable."
"Perhaps it wasn't Potter, perhaps one of these people fired a curse and it hit their comrade…"
"Another curse?! Shacklebolt! This is an alley full of muggles!" Rookwood heaves. "He should pay time in azkaban!"
Azkaban? I begin to sweat, the dumpster becoming twenty degrees hotter.
"Innocent until proven guilty," Kingsley said. "I'll expect a full report of the incident tomorrow on my desk from Potter. I'll give him an inquiry. Just keep it away from that damn Skeeter woman, right?" He throws the cigarette on the ground.
"We're going to move them to the ministry, and this one to St. Mungos," Dawlish drawls.
"Make sure that we can inquire them before the obliviation squad gets to them."
"Right," Dawlish replies dully.
I let out a barely audible sigh. Kingley's giant, black ears perk upwards and he begins to turn…
I lower the hood of the dumpster slowly, careful not to let it bang shut, holding my breath, for the rancid fumes of vomit and kitty litter and green meat are invading my nostrils.
"Kingsley!" Somebody shouts.
Footsteps echo down the alley, I slowly lift my head again.
"Dey is alright?" The black man's voice rings, "Dat man sayz for me to wait for you…" It's far away, but I can see him lifting a bloody hand. "Dat… Potter? Yes? He said you can help me wid my hand-"
"Do you know who did this?" Kingsley's voice rings across him.
"Dos guys tried to rape dat gurl! I was wrunning afta them and they hit me and smashed my gey-tar."
Kingsley seems unimpressed in the semi-darkness, "And then what happened."
"Well Potta saved hur!"
"Was he alone?"
The black man is stricken, "…No…"
Shit. I pocket my long jacket, trying to find my wand, preparing to apparate if I must… shit, shit! I've must've dropped it in the goo. Grimacing, I begin to finger around the plastic bags, finding a used straw and discarding it.
"Der was anothda man. He was… cloaked and… tall…"
"Did you see his face?"
"N-n-no…" The black man licks his bloody lips. "Him waz masked."
I stop my searching. My hand has hit something wooden.
"A Death Eater?" Kingsley gasps.
"A Dedth Whata?"
"Nevermind," Kingsley passes his hand through where his hair should be. I finally grip my wand and hold it tightly to my chest, ready to pounce. "Then what happened?"
"Da… Deadth Whadever… guy waz trying to save da gurl too. He hit won 'a dem wit light and blood spurted out."
"Really?" Shacklebolt is at a loss. I can only wonder what is going through his mind. A death eater and Potter working together? To save a girl? Who is it and why? "Right…" He begins to pace in the opposite direction of the black man without a goodbye or a thank you (or more importantly and oblivation spell). Before I know it each Auror and unconscious body has left the place with an echoing array of Pop! It sounds like a too-large bag of popcorn.
I lift my head again. My face is full of fresh, cool night air. I must look like an alley cat popping out of a trash bin. Taking care not to sink further into the mush, I lift myself with one sharp metal corner as the black man ambles toward me, holding his hand to his chest. "Thank you," I mumble. "For not saying anything."
"Dat Pottah said dey would help me..." he says tearfully.
Flipping one leg and then the other over the banister, I jump on the ground and finally get a good look at that hand. A broken wrist. A few broken fingers. His thumb is a black and blue pulp. He's bleeding everywhere too. It's not unsalvageable. But for muggles it would be. I can't believe Kingsley Shacklebolt… one would think that since they are of the same race…
"How's this," I say commandingly, "In return for not telling them where I was, I'll fix up that hand for you. First you'll go get the rest of that absinthe from the bartender. We'll go to my place and have a drink."
"Sah!" After a few seconds I realize he said "sir." "Dat's! Dat would be truly wonderful of yooh."
Before he hugs me, I mutter, "Off you go."
Shaking out the extra pasta noodles out of my pant leg, I wander up the alleyway to the sad ruins of his guitar, lying like a martyr on the cement.
"Reparo!" I shout. "Accio!" It flies into my hand, good as new. I grasp it by the fret and pace back and forth, trying not to smell my own stink, the smell of puke and month-old marinara. A fly keeps buzzing on the top of my head and I flick it off continuously.
He returns, bottle in one hand, with a few of those pretty spotted spoons. His dark eyes widen when he sees his guitar in my hands, broadening in a toothless, bloody smile. I hand him his guitar, he hands me my absinthe. Before he can thank me I've put a hand on his should an apparated us to Spinner's End.
"Whoa- Whut- Wow!" He garbles.
"This is my house," I point and fish out a key from my pant pocket, having to take out a few spiders and a clump of nappy hair to get to it.
"Iz you a- a- superhero?"
I raise my eyebrows. "What's this rubbish? Just get inside, will you? I'm a wizard. There are plenty of other wizards. You're a muggle, or non-magic person." I open the door for him, and he ambles inside, gawking at my furniture.
"Take off your shoes please," I demand in a less pleasant tone.
The man stumbles over and lamely tries to rip off a shoelace-less shoe with one hand. I drag myself to the couch and sink into the cushions, remembering faintly that I'm still filthy and not caring. I'm exhausted, mentally and physically. I would say emotionally too, if I thought I had a heart to begin with.
"Aye iz a muggle?" The black man says, toeing my carpet with his yellow socks, staring at my books on the Dark Arts.
"Will you grab that book there? With the pentagram?" I barely whisper. "No… the white one."
He hands it to me, nervously, suddenly afraid of the person covered in garbage in front of him. I don't console him, merely turn the pages of my large book, trying to find the proper incantations. "Pour me a glass of that, will you?" I say, without looking up. He grabs the neck of the bottle and the slotted spoons and moves toward the kitchen.
"Yoo got sugar in dis magic store?" he asks.
"In the black circular box… with the serpent on it," I say carelessly.
As he finds a crystal glass I find what I am looking for. Focusing hard, I attempt at a nonverbal spell, aiming my wand at his hand in the other room, squinting my eyes, hard.
"MA…May hand!" He exclaims, forgetting the absinthe and flexing his still bloody hand. "It's cured!" He glances at my wand. "Yoo has saved me, sah!"
"You're easily impressed," I say, but a little pleased with myself. Not many people can do that wordlessly, after all. "Come here."
He now takes the sugar, slotted spoon, glass and absinthe with both hands and sets them on the coffee table. I grasp his hand and study it. "It's still rather black and blue," I thumb a nasty looking bruise and he hisses through no teeth. "Murtlap Essence ought to do the trick, though."
I get up, and he pours me the absinthe, finally. Before I disappear into my basement, however, I turn and give him a rather cold and unflattering glare, "Do not steal anything from this house. I will know," I wave my wand impressively. "And I don't want you hanging around here to get healed whenever you want. You go to a proper muggle doctor!" I won't be taken advantage of. Again.
"Sah," he says. "You'ze got me all wrong, sah. Aye'z poor but not a scoundrel." He gets up and puts the guitar on his lap and strums lazily despite the bruises.
I start, "Forgive me. I'm a cynical man."
"Aye know," he says.
His dark eyes twinkle at me in the way Dumbledore's always had. I scowl. He must've been watching during the entire fight. I don't want to talk about my business with this stranger. "What's you're name?" I ask before I can stop myself.
"Samuel Jameson."
"Sam…" I say to myself. "Have you ever seen Casablanca?"
He looks at me quizzically, "N-no."
I sigh and start down the stairs, "Never mind."
When I return with an ivory jar of murtlap essence he is gone.
I toss my clothes off and sit at the toilet, scratching at a purple goop on my arm that might have once been grape jelly, I hope. The bath is steaming up with welcome hot water and magic bubbles- I don't normally use purple bubbles but this occasion warrants it. Mysty's mystery foam, gets up the toughest grim and keeps the bath clean too! I stand up and stare at my torso in the foggy silver mirror. Damn, I look like shit. What should I expect? I feel like shit. There's a slit of purple under one eye and goop on my chest and pasta noodles still sticking to my hair. I try to get it out.
I remember when James said I was beautiful. I almost laughed at him. I don't want to think about that, though. I pick some more pasta out of my hair, getting the larger chunks out. I remember his taunts about my greasy hair, going back as far as first year. His fingers through my hair, It's not as greasy as it looks, he had said. Took the bastard ten years to figure that one out.
My gut clenches. I feel like I might vomit. The room is spinning. I stare at my dark eyes in the mirror. Or worse. I might cry. Eyelids wet, I wipe my cleaner hand on my face. I'm being ridiculous. Grown men don't cry.
I lift a palm over the lily on my breast, and step into the bath.
It's almost painfully hot. I welcome the sizzling of the bubbles around me, siphoning off the grim of the dumpster, from my arms, my hair, my feet, my ankles, even my arse. I watch as a lone noodle strays in the water, and disintegrates from the magic soap eating away at it. I dunk my head in, and out.
I grab at the wine glass filled with absinthe, which had been sitting on the fluffy edges of my bath rug, and take a tentative sip, staring at the ceiling.
It is moments like these that are particularly dangerous for me. I am a master at Occlumency; no one doubts that. But it's moments like these that emotions and thoughts bubble up without my control. The moments between moments. When I have nothing to fight, no conflict to fiercely thrust myself against, thoughts can rise without abandon. I am at the mercy of my own consciousness…
I flex my toes against the opposite edge of the bath and take a sip of the green liquid again. It's hard to not think of lips and tongue when I drink it, remembering only hours previous when James was still in the palm of my hand. He was mine.
I never loved you, I had told him. He could tell I was lying. Voldemort and Dumbledore might be able to fall for my lies… but not James Potter.
I used to do this a lot. Think back at the day's activities and cringe. Like when I was sixteen and I went the entire day with toilet paper stuck to my shoe. James and Sirius had put a sticking charm on it. I cried that night. I cringed and I cried some more. No one liked me. I was a loser.
And people wondered why I got into the dark arts.
I sigh, winding one hand into my hair. Memories flood back to me. Lily coming out of the portrait hole in fifth year, only to go back in, to remain in Gryffindor, to fall in love with him… James pushing me out of the way of a giant werewolf, teeth bared, getting out just in time… I should have told her I loved her more often, then maybe she would have understood better… but now she is back in his arms again. I am alone.
Alone.
I dunk my head in again. I wonder how hard it would be to kill myself in a bathtub. Drowning myself might actually be more difficult than it seems. Fear of death aside, the body is a wondrous thing. It will force oneself to breath, to come up for air, almost automatically. Willpower isn't enough. The body wants you to live.
I come up for air, gasping and rubbing my face. I glance my razor, innocently lying at the corner of the sink. Severus, now, you've become such a maudlin creature. This isn't necessary. Maiming yourself like you did when you were younger will only make a mess that you don't want to clean up, and the situation will surely not improve. We'll just have to come up with ways to try again.
It's not that I want James and Lily to be apart, not really.
I just want them to be mine. I want Lily to marry me. That's always been what I've wanted, ever since I was eleven years old. James' love is just like a side dish to the main course that is Lily Evans.
I try to convince myself that's true and fail. I can't even pretend anymore. I just want James… to stop being James, to stop his domineering, to stop pretending that I'm his. I want him to love me and hate me at the same time. The same way I do him. The same way I have always felt. To understand that bundle of hate and love and astonished admiration and disdain, all trapped in the darkest places of my heart.
But neither of them care about me at all and I am alone.
I down the rest of the absinthe with one gulp.
"TURN THAT MUSIC OFF, WILL YOU?!"
Mrs. Potter frowns disapprovingly at the ceiling. She had been previously dancing to St. James Infirmary and Minnie the Moocher on her old Cab Calloway album, when her son's girlfriend, Lily Evans, had shouted very rudely down the stairs at her. She gives a meaningful glance at her husband.
"PLEASE! JAMES HAS A REPORT DUE!"
"Didn't mind it when he was snogging Severus to it," she mutters under her breath, thinking no one else had heard it but Mr. Potter, indeed, had (his hearing was bad, but not that bad, yet). She turns the knob down. Staring as reproachfully at the bedroom above as a disgruntled delivery owl, hands on her old hips, she actually feels something that she hadn't felt toward her boy in a long time: anger. "What's with him? Said he like the song merely days ago."
"I think Severus and him had a fallout," mutters Mr. Potter into his Prophet. He folds the paper, guiltily wondering, "You think we scared him off?"
She gives him a glare as though, I don't care and that doesn't give James the bloody right. "It's nearly midnight! What the bloody fuck is he doing at midnight?"
He blanches.
"What?" Mrs. Potter growls.
"Mary! That's the first time I've heard you swear since 1945!" He grins as though his wife swearing was the best kind of entertainment, "Thought you had lost the ability!"
"I swear all the time… just in my own head," she says.
"Didn't you hear? He has a report due. For the office."
"Here we stay up all bloody night waiting for him to get back…" She heaves a breath as though they didn't spend every night worrying about their son, which was a lie, "And when he bursts through the door, smelling like pot, he tells me to leave him alone. No, I've been fine, Mum, or thanks for looking out for me, Mum, or I'll take a moment just to explain what happened, Mum." She looks ready for tears. "No! He gets an owl from Kingsley, swears, and goes straight to his room. And says By the way, Mum, Lily's coming over to sleep here later, and you can't tell me she can't sleep in my room…" She stabs her fork in a plate of forgotten, crusty pie savagely. "We're fiancés!" She stabs it so vehemently that apple juices spay Mr. Potter's vest. "Isn't it wonderful? When that boy was just here all afternoon snogging the daylights out of Severus Snape!"
Mr. Potter hadn't seen his wife like this in a very long time. Not since he had forgotten their anniversary ten years ago, and somewhat uncompassionately he felt a relief that he wasn't the one at the other end of her wrath. He knew exactly what to do, though. "Darling…" he cooed.
She just kept stabbing her fork into the pie, not eating a bite.
"Sweetums…"
She clenches her jaw and bites her lip, looking darkly up at him through bloodshot eyes.
"I know you liked Severus..." William said, "but darling it isn't your choice… whom he marries…"
She lets out the sound of a frustrated, sad pup, tears spilling out of her eyes.
"We don't know what happened! Maybe they broke up. Maybe something bad happened!" William whispered, patting her arm.
"And he doesn't trust us enough to tell us?!" Mary shrieks.
I guiltily watch them at the bottom of the stairs, curled into a ball like a child, hugging my knees. Lily's asleep on my bed. My report has already been sent by owl. I had been spying on them through a crack in the door, rocking back and for like I used to as a kid. I decide now is a good time to walk into the kitchen, albeit unwisely. Mother starts when she sees my red, puffy eyes.
"James! Damn it!"
"You've got quite a mouth on you tonight, haven't you?"
"Darling," she clutches me to her. "Please tell us what's wrong! We've been worried so!" She's positively shrieking with concern, a flush of embarrassment across her cheeks from being overheard, but her eyes have lost none of their fervor.
She dabs my eyes with a napkin from under her uneaten apple pie, at a loss.
"Mum…" my voice comes out far weaker than I had anticipated. How do I explain to her that Severus doesn't love me? "Don't… be mean to Lily." I say because I can't think of everything else. My voice cracks again around the edges.
She looks at my father and says, "We weren't."
I want to say, yes you were, but I don't want her to realize that I had been listening the whole time. "I… I know you liked Snape better…"
"Oh, dear," she says, taking my face in her hands and kissing a dribble of tears under one of my eyelids. I try to pull myself together. She pinches my cheeks and smiles, "It doesn't matter what I like."
I let out a breath, forgiving her instantly. "I'm sorry that I snapped at you," I glance at my father, who nods approvingly. "I'm just… scared. I think I might be fired."
"Fired?"
They know already that there's a hole in my story. If they stayed and interrogated the black man then they know that Severus was there, and I hadn't mentioned anyone else in my report. That sort of a hole doesn't go unnoticed. They'll prod me for the truth- and then they'll fire me like Fabian Prewett after he set a dungbomb off in the chief's chair. Bye-bye, career.
"Long story. Lily almost got raped."
"Raped?" Mother gasps, cupping her hand to her mouth.
"She's alright. I saved her. But I attacked some muggles… and…" Well, that's the short version. Good enough for now.
"Dead?" Mum gasps, clutching her heart.
"No! No… just knocked out…a whole bunch of them…"
"And Severus?"
She really won't let me beat around the bush.
"Yes," Father pipes in, leaning over his half-eaten pie. "What happened?"
It's the first time that I think I might burst into tears in front of my parents since Ben from down the street ripped my jeans open for all the neighborhood girls to see. I had been six. "N-nothing," I choke back, cursing away the stinging at my eyes.
"We don't believe that for two seconds, darling," Mum smiles sympathetically.
I turn away and pinch the bridge of my nose. Taking shaky breaths, I try to calm myself. It works, sort of. "Let's just say that we're not going out anymore."
"Why? What happened?"
I let out a strangled sound and try to disguise it as a cough.
"Severus said… he said…" oh, I should really try to stop talking. I'm about to start crying in front of my father. I can't stand the embarrassment. I'm supposed to be an adult here. Not wallow in my misery of loosing a favorite ball at a playground. Grow up, James. Grown men don't cry.
"Darling?" Mum wraps her wrinkled but warm arms around my shoulders. "Go on, tell us," she continues to wipe my tears away. "Did he say that he didn't love you?"
My eyes widen and I turn to my mother, who is staring at me with a half-smile. "Of course he did. That's what got you so upset, is it?" She so certain that I don't think it has anything to do with knowing the bartender this time. She just knows. She pulls up a stool and drags me to the kitchen table, setting a piece of pie on a china plate and handing it to me. Father stops staring worriedly at me and begins eating pie again, dribbling on his chin. "I thought something like this might happen."
"He kissed my girlfriend!" I shout angrily, ignoring my pie, even as she hands me a fork.
"Yes, well," she seems suspiciously unsurprised.
"You knew? Don't tell me that you knew!"
"I didn't know anything."
"Don't yell at your mother," mutters Father.
"It's just that I knew that Severus has been infatuated with Lily for years," her eyes twinkle. "He was in love with her even when he was a little boy. Right up before Hogwarts, even!" She clutches my fist, which apparently I had been contracting. "I didn't want to dampen the romance, darling. Forgive me for not telling you sooner. I just have had an old-time witchery-knitting friend by the name of Eileen, Severus' mother, and we always get together and talk about our sons. She hasn't come to our circle for years, though. She might have changed her name to Prince, now… it's hard to tell. Her marriage was quite rocky for a long time. She knitted to de-stress…" She brings a bit of pie to her lips and I copy her. "Anyways… she told me that once they were teenagers, Lily would never give Severus the time of day. The poor thing would stay locked up in his room for hours and hours at a time. Eileen told me he was never the same after that. To tell you the truth," she runs her fingers though my hair, affectionately picking out a piece of foil that had gotten there, probably from the dumpster, "I felt quite embarrassed almost, when you started going out with her. Eileen never seemed to forgive me for that. Didn't really come to the meetings anymore." She sighs, "Shame. She was lovely with the designs."
I wonder how often Mum has lost friends because of my behavior.
"Though that might have more to do with the fact that Albus Dumbledore started showing up. Eileen was pretty… conservative…"
I eat my pie, savoring the taste of sweet cinnamon jelly and apple and crust. I know that her speech hasn't solved anything, but I feel oddly calmed.
"So he cheated on you with Lily, did he?" Father asks, poking his plate with his fork, noticing he had finished it, and scooping himself more pie.
I nod.
"And Lily cheated on you with Snape?"
I raise an eyebrow, "Yeah…"
"You cheated on both Lily and Severus too then, I wager?" He doesn't wait for me to nod and busies himself in his pie. "So you're all immoral, instead of just one of you. Seems to me like an even playing-field." He grumbles something about "immoral youth" into his crust and shovels a hefty spoonful into his mouth.
"Would you like some ice cream with that dears?" Mum offers, "Vanilla?"
Dad nods but I shake my head.
I hadn't thought of it that way. My eyes widen. Was I being hypocritical? I hated Severus because he cheated on me with Lily… but I had cheated on him with Lily, not physically, but emotionally, and Lily had cheated too but I wasn't mad at her. I rub my chin with two fingers. Why was I mad at Severus again?
"But… but he told me he didn't love me!" I say breathlessly, more to myself than anyone else. "That he never loved me!"
"Oh, sometimes people say that, dear," Mum says, "but the very rarely mean it."
The black man's voice echoes in my brain. Hate isn't de opposite of love… hate just be wounded love…
"Do you think for one second that your father and I haven't had our moments?" Mum scoops a dollop of vanilla to her smiling husband.
"Remember Vienna?" Dad says nostalgically.
She slaps him with a napkin playfully. "Hit you across the nose."
"Got lost for three hours."
I smile in spite of myself.
"Severus might still be angry at you for bullying him as a kid, or for taking his Lily away from him," Mum says, spooning herself some vanilla. "But that doesn't mean-"
"Sirius!" my father bellows out of the blue. "So good to see you again!"
We both stare at him as he begins humming to himself. We can barely tell that he's having another one of his…moments. "Brought another one of your odd... er... albums? Right? What's this one? A musical about a mass murderer? Sounds absolutely mad! Go on... play it then!
"You see sir a man infatuated with love her ardent and eager slave!" He sings loudly. "So fetch the…"
"Pa…" I say. "Pa!"
He blinks. "Perhaps you should play another one... maybe- what's the phrase- a 'rock'n'roll' one? Yes?"
He shivers and shakes himself out of it.
"I think it's time for you to go to bed, lovely," Mum says, taking his pie plate and griping the handlebars on his wheelchair.
"Was I just singing?" He whispers to Mum and she nods. "No wonder, I've got a song that has been stuck in my head for days."
She makes toward the door and looks back at me, "Coming to bed, dear."
"I'm just going to finish my pie first. I'll clean up…"
She nods.
This time Dad sings with his presence of mind freely, "'Tis your delight, sir, catching fire from one man to the next. Tis true, sir, love can still inspire the blood to pound the…" His voice echoes down the hall while Mum can't stop laughing.
I grin at the darkened, empty hallway, solemnly eat my pie alone, blinking from lack of sleep, trying to keep the thoughts of a dark-haired someone out of my brain.
By the time I finally wrap a towel around my waist, pull back my hair that's still dripping on my shoulders, and start to climb down the stairs I realize I've run out of absinthe. I wonder if it is wise to grab another glass, I remember the dangers of drinking alone that everyone seems to find so unhealthy. But this occasion sort-of warrants it. Tossing ideas of alcoholism and solitude and it's-only-one-night back and forth in my mind, I'm preoccupied as my feet find the floor of my living room. Shock shivers down my spine when I see a shadowy figure sitting on my couch.
Tobias Snape is nonchalantly flipping through his wedding album in my living room. He smiles up at me, as though my showing up naked was normal behavior. "Evening," he whispers, and then licks his fingers to flip another page.
Oh… he makes me so angry. Ignore the fact that the family has been out of this house for years, and that I have paid my rent to him in full every month, he still acts like this house is his. He can't just barge in whenever he wants to look at his wedding pictures!
Or maybe he can. I tug at my towel, making sure the knot is firmly on my waist and that none of my parts are showing. I gulp, "Dad?"
He smells like cigarettes. I hate that smell. Took me months to wash the smell out of the carpet. "Hmm?" he grunts, eyeing Mother's wedding dress, fondly. He has a small smile playing across his lips. It's the same sort of smile one gets while watching the tele. That far-away grin. Escapism.
"Er… what are you… what are you doing there?" I wanted to say, "What are you doing here?" but felt it might be rude. He is my landlord, after all.
"Oh, nothing," Tobias says, folding the album back up and setting it on the coffee table. He gives me a wide smile, but I can tell that he's not all there. Not drunk. Not high either. But he's not all there. Like he's trying to pretend it's all ok. "Just thought I'd stop by… have a chat."
I feel myself raising an eyebrow. A chat? Oh dear lord. I hope he doesn't plan on having another man-to-man chat with me. One of those rants about morality and chivalry and some nonsense. I'm really not in the mood tonight, "Father, it's nearly midnight…"
"Two-in-the-morning, actually," the way that Tobias beams. It's unnerving.
"It's not a good night," I whisper.
What I meant was, "It's not a good night, for me." But as always he takes my meaning completely differently. "No, it's not a good night, is it?" Tobias says, assuming that I meant the general commentary on the weather or the stars or something. He rubs his face in his hands.
I take a seat across from him, on the leather loveseat, glaring at him. He's not going to leave unless I talk to him, I realize. I'm still only in a towel.
"Nice tattoo," he says. Completely off-topic, insufferable man.
Has it really been that long since he's seen me?
No, I think to myself, just since he's seen me shirtless. I scratch at the dark mark unconsciously. I think he's talking about the lily, though, "Erm… thanks?"
"You've acquired a much finer taste in alcohol since I've been here last," he says, taking a whiff of the absinthe bottle. "Good year, too. Do you mind if I have a glass?"
"No…" I huff, crossing my arms on my chest, "I mean… Yes. I do mind! You can't just come in here and barge into my liquor stores."
He lets out an "humph". There is an unspoken argument there. You still think I'm an alcoholic, don't you? I can feel him wondering. You think that still after Mum told you. That was years ago…
I sigh, "But if you must, you must."
With some trepidation, he puts the bottle down on the table, eyeing me, "No, I don't have to. But maybe another time, yes?"
I nod.
He settles back into his chair. Eyeing the living room, he mutters under his breath, "You haven't done much with the place, have you?"
I glare. "I've kept it in tact for when you feel like barging in here only to experience nostalgia."
Father smiles, "Well, that's very thoughtful of you."
Bloody man. Don't know why he's being so… urgh. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"
He crosses his legs, knobby, denim-covered knee over knobby, denim-covered knee. Rubbing his goatee, he says, "You first."
"Why do you just assume something is wrong with me?"
"You're not married," he coughs, "You don't have a steady job. And you're still hanging around your unsavory prep-school crowd. I just assume you may want some guidance."
"Nice way to raise my spirits, Dad," I sputter. I had wanted to hear something that James' parents might say, like "oh, I could just tell."
"Sorry," he says, looking sheepish, "Don't get me wrong. I am proud of you, Severus. I just remember what it's like to be your age. It's awfully… confusing."
I roll my eyes heavenward. It was confusing for him. He had found out that he was married to a witch, that there was such a thing as magic, and that Mum could have always used a spell to mop the floors, but simply did it the "muggle" way anyway because she thought there was "something good about hard work". She must've sounded mad.
"Dad… I'm fine," I sigh.
"Really?"
"Yes."
"I don't believe you, but I won't press on it."
Somewhere, part of me wanted Tobias to press on it. But I just rub my forehead and say, "I don't want to talk about it."
He raises an eyebrow, and says, "Do what you please."
Something about his voice is making me nervous, "What's wrong, Dad?"
"Oh," he flicks some fuzz off of one kneecap, "Hmm. Nothing."
"Tell me."
"Can I have a cigarette?"
I pull out an ashtray from a nearby drawer. "Tell me."
He swallows, and exhales a shaky breath.
"Your mother is asking for a divorce."
I feel like some foreign hand is tugging at the bottom of my diaphragm. It doesn't matter how many times I've heard the word divorce, it still leaves me in a cold sweat. Which, it shouldn't, I know I'm being stupid. I remember over the summer of my first year at Hogwarts, the word divorce came up on a near-weekly basis. Almost every Sunday, on the ride to church, Mother and Father would argue until that word, divorce, came up. Father would ignore the road and let the wheel veer from side to side so much that it had me clutching my nails into the cushions of my seat. I think those finger marks are still there. And almost every Sunday Mother would sit cross –legged, one foot bouncing up and down in anger, tears streaking down her face, ready to strike a verbal lashing to whoever tried to get her to make brunch until Father would stroke one shoulder and whisper in something in her ear. She would get up and make a late lunch, forcing herself to smile. I wish I knew what he had whispered in her ear now…
I swallow, hard, and the action is painful, muscles rippling down my chest. "She's not…" I stare plainly into my father's face. He had once been an attractive man, but years of stress of an unhappy marriage kept his face lined. "Dad. It'll all work out. Just like last time."
I say this a lot, mind. And each time seems bleaker and less sincere than the last.
"Not so sure about that," His dark brown eyes, so similar to mine, try to blink back tears, "She's got it all worked out. This time. She kicked me out. That's why I'm here."
"What did you say?" I panic. "Dad, what did you do? Did you forget her birthday, again?" He shudders.
"Why do you just assume it's me?!" Tobias rasps angrily. It would be a shout if it wasn't through tears. "Why do you insist that it's always me? Always! I haven't done anything."
I bite back the retort of, well, oftentimes it is you…
Tobias wipes his face with a greasy-looking handkerchief, "She has another man."
I let out a slight gasp. Never in a million years had I imagined that my mother would be the one to cheat! I clutch Dad's shoulder from across the table, realizing suddenly that our stories are so similar…
"Oh," I try to sound sympathetic. I try to sound like the remedy for both of us. "How long?"
"I don't know," He's openly crying into his battered cloth, "S-s-she didn't say."
"Well… maybe she's just made it up then!" I say, hopefully. "Maybe she was just trying to get you to be jealous of her!"
"No," he shakes his head. "S-she showed me…"
"Showed you what?"
He pinches his nose and blows like a trumpet into the cloth. "I can't believe I'm going to tell my son this…"
"What?"
"She showed me the used condoms."
I try not to grimace but my emotion splits my face in a pinching frown.
"Maybe it was a rouse. She just took them out of the wrapper and stretched them out." I sound so feeble and weak. How did this happen?
Secretly, I want this to be true. So badly.
Because if this was true, then maybe Lily and James never cheated on me. Maybe James always did love me.
Dad, to my astonishment, laughs. I thought he was crying more but when he leans up to look at me he's smiling. "You know what? She might have done. Sounds a bit like her."
I feel myself grin, "It does, doesn't it?"
He wipes his tears, "I doubt it though."
He finally takes out a cigarette and searches his pocket for a lighter. "I've got it," I sputter, grabbing my wand from the table. He flinches when I bring it close to his face. But the bud flicks to life and that horrid smoke comes billowing out.
"Thanks," he mutters.
I cross my legs unconsciously, smoothing my by-now wet towel on my thighs.
"Sorry, Severus," Tobias says.
"No, you don't have-"
"You didn't have to hear that."
"Oh," I say. I find it odd that he's being considerate now when I've lived with them fighting for twenty years. I calk my head sideways.
"Point is… I'm going to need a place to stay for a few days. I figured I could take one of the upstairs bedrooms…"
Out of the question! my mind screams.
"I'll stay out of your way. I'll only charge you for half the rent. But I doubt I'll be staying a month. That south bank property ought to be done soon and I can move in there."
I lick my lips, trying to come up with a way of saying that I want to help but stay out of my house.
"You should go back to Mum."
"I knew you were going to be like this."
"You're going to have to deal with a great deal more magic," I hiss.
Tobias shifts in his chair uncomfortably.
"Just for a few days, then," he says.
"And stay out of my way. If I have a girl over, or a guy, it's my business," I spit.
He raises one eyebrow at the or a guy part. Surely he assumes that I'm merely trying to make a point when he says, "Right."
"And no going in the basement. There are potions down there and the last thing I need is for you to be poking around, knocking over caldrons…"
"Right," Tobias says.
"Right," I growl.
"So…" he cordially smiles, "Roommates, then?" He protrudes a hand.
I shake it, "I can hardly believe I'm agreeing to this."
"That's my boy," he beams.
"Just… just… just don't become one of those bums alright?" I remember that I just let a bum into my house a few hours ago. Oh bother.
"I'm not a bum."
He presses his cigarette into the ashtray, coughs, and says, "Well, in that case I'm ready for bed. How about you-"
"Wait," I mutter, "one more thing." I swallow, gathering the courage to say something to my father that I've been wanting to say for twenty years. "I don't want you to smoke here. In the house. Ever."
His dark eyebrows, so similar to my own, shoot up towards his hairline. "Really?"
"Really. I don't like it. It stinks."
"Not even in the kitchen? With the fan on?"
"No. That's even worse. I eat there."
He blanches for a moment, as though he has no idea what to do with me, but quickly steadies himself. "Well… I… er… suppose I'll just go outside, then." He stares at me, his dark eyes hovering over my form, the line from his right nostril to the corner of his mouth twitching periodically.
"Thanks," I say. I finally let a small smile split my face.
"Er..." Tobias shifts from foot to foot, "Night, then."
He is already halfway up the stairs when I say, "Night."
I uncork the bottle of absinthe again and have another glass, taking up the wedding album and flipping through it slowly.
I toss and turn, remembering that Lily is in my bed too only when I hit her on the breast with the back of my arm. "Sorry," I grumble sleepily. My eyes are screwed shut but I can feel her womanly form nudging against me. Her breasts nudge against my chest. One warm calf stretches over my legs. The weight of water balloons and fruit.
A dusting of dove-soft hair tickles my shoulder. "Mmm…" she leans against me. My morning erection fades slightly at the smell of fruit perfume- pomegranate with a hint of mint. I like her natural smell better, but she always becomes too self-conscious and has to cover it up with perfume or deodorant.
My hands wander up her smooth back- it's like I'm touching nothing at all… I'm touching smoke- and find the strap of her wired bra. Opening one eye, I notice this one is colored bright, neon green. I lift the back and let go with a snap!
"Stop it, you," she smacks me playfully on the arm. It seems so much more sincere, so much more enticing when Severus says it. I'm still wondering why I've forgiven her and not him. I sigh into her red hair. Her freckles pinprick her neck. I take my time in trying to kiss each one.
"Hey… hey…" she says. I've never realized just how masculine her voice was. It's not a manly voice. But it isn't shrill, either. It's deep and throaty and smooth, especially at times like these when she's not becoming upset. It's like tea to Severus' coffee voice. Still goes down smooth. I kiss her on her cherry lips. "Hey!" she says, "none of that now. Really. I have to talk to you about something first…."
Nervously, I wonder if she's going to question me about my relationship with Severus. Are you gay? I can imagine her asking me… my erection wilts almost to nothingness.
"Don't worry, you're not in trouble," Lily whispers. Her eyes finally meet mine, and my breath is taken away. My soul is taken away. Had I forgotten how powerful those mossy green eyes were? "But I have to talk about something. About me."
I simply stare, taking in those luscious green eyes. The rims are as dark as forest but the highlights are as light as granny-smith apples.
"I cheated on you, you know," she says without hesitation. "I would have thought you would be insanely jealous and want to know all of the details right away…"
"I cheated on you too," I say, licking my lips, "and I don't like to think about it."
"Right," Lily says, her white tooth poking into a pink lip. "But I think you should know this. I would feel terrible if I didn't tell you. I'd feel like a whore."
I raise my eyebrows. I've never heard her say the word whore before.
"I..." she swallows, more nervous all of the sudden, "I slept with Severus."
I shouldn't be surprised but I am all the same.
"You went," I gulp, "all the way?"
She blushes. Her freckles look even browner on her cheeks. She nods. My tongue feels dry. "I feel like a whore."
"You're not a whore," I say impatiently. "But why'd you do it?"
She looks like she might cry at first. There are little droplets of moisture on her eyelashes. I pat her arm and wait for her to continue. "I dunno."
I dunno wasn't the answer I expected. Tell me it's because he has a hot ass. Tell me it's because of his cool, seductive voice. His laughter. I'll believe you. But not because you don't know.
"I-it was stupid," she says, hiccupping, trying to pull herself together.
"When did it happen?"
"This Thursday."
My heart sinks. That was the short span of time Severus and I weren't snogging with our tongues down each other's throats last week. Any hopes that Severus might still love me and that he was doing this all for the best are completely dashed. Damn.
But it also makes sense… because…
"I thought you were cheating on me then," she explains.
"I was cheating on you," I say sympathetically, "with Severus."
"Why didn't you just tell me?"
I feel my face going hot. Yeah, Lily, I'm bent. I still want to marry you but I also want to snog Snape daily on the side. "I thought you'd think I was bent."
"And you're telling me now you're not?" She scathes.
That was a hit bellow the belt. I pout. She smiles.
"I'm not grossed out or anything. And I know you get along perfectly in bed with a woman anyway. And you're not completely bent… just a little… diagonal," she grins.
"Really, now? Perfectly?"
"Well not perfectly. But," she trails her hands across my chest, "nine out of ten."
She kisses me on the lips, softly.
"I love you, Lily," I say.
She blushes, "Not sure I deserve that."
"I'm sure you do."
"James…"
"What?'
"Maybe you should come see… actually see what happened."
I think maybe she wants to take me to the scene of the crime, or even better re-enact the crime with me being the perpetrator this time, but she shrugs on a baggy shirt and some jeans and beckons me to follow her.
A pair of jeans and a sweater later, I follow her gesticulatory motions towards my parents' bedchamber, where she pulls open the third dresser drawer down.
Oh, my father's pensieve. I should have known.
Lily scoops up her wand from her trouser pocket and taps her temple, face frowning in concentration. She pulls out a spidery, cloudy strand that clings to her red hair for a moment until she drops it in the stone basin. The basin is lined with runes. It's not as grand as Dumbledore's but it gets the job done. She must've remembered where it was from when Dad had been bragging about it to her. Father had bought one for a large sum of money so that he could sort through his memories and try to keep them in order. The nurses told us that might help.
She looks at me expectantly, her green eyes glowing misty in the half-light of the memory. She shuffles her feet awkwardly, biting her lip. She says, "I'll be downstairs making breakfast. Once you're done."
I whisper, "Right."
"I mean. If you want to talk to me then, of course."
I nod. She clutches the doorframe a moment before exiting the room.
And I take the plunge.
Down, down, down into the swirl of memory. I feel my body float like thin air and then be jabbed forcefully back down to earth again. And instantly I hear voices.
"Aah- AAHHH- AHHHHH!"
"Severus- Oh God!"
The wet slap of bodies. The creak of a spring mattress being used like a trampoline…
Oh God, I think to myself, Why is she showing me this?
"Hnnn… Nnnh… Yeah…"
My eyes swirl around the room. It's Severus' non-descript bedroom. The curtains have been shut on what must be glaring sunlight.
"There- yes-There! OH!"
I almost don't want to look. I don't want to know. I want to shut my eyes and never see my Lily, my Lily, wanton and exposed below him. Severus.
My Severus.
But of course I can't, however willing I might be. I know Lily isn't just doing this to share intimate details. If she had she might have started at the beginning. I open one eye… to see Severus's hot, tight, muscular arse rhythmically rutting against her, against the bed. Sweat is beading along his back, along that winged dragon, down his ass cheeks, down the back of his knees.
My erection is as hard as steel within seconds and I bat at it, trying to get it to go away, trying to calm down.
I can see her breasts bobbing up and down at the exertion. Neither of them are wearing a shred of clothing and they look so sweaty and indecent. I feel filthy standing here, watching them as if I'm watching a porn. But I'm not watching porn… I can shift my head and suddenly see everything, even his long red cock thrusting into her wet, tight cunt. I feel like I shouldn't be here- this is too much- but I'm suddenly harder than I've ever been in my whole life. And the moaning… the moaning is something like I've never heard. I've never gotten Lily to moan like this… this low, guttural, "Hunnnnmm." And Severus… he's certainly on top form, I think to myself, turning brick red. His whole body tightening and slackening and thrusting, thrusting, thrusting…
I bite into the back of my hand.
Maybe she did just bring me here to see how hot they are together…
"Oh God! Lily! Lily!" He says each word with a slap of his balls against her wet flesh. I change my angle so I can see both of their faces, both screwed up in concentration. But Snape is staring at Lily. Staring at her as though he'll never stop.
"OOH!!" She screeches, and surely Severus has done something good, I think, and he must think so too because he quickens the pace. Her breasts bob in earnest.
"Oh God… Lily… I love you!" He grunts.
Her eyes open finally, those green eyes widen with shock. Perhaps she thought this was a one-off, friends with benefits, a pity-fuck. But she certainly hadn't been expecting that.
But he doesn't stop. His eyes roll back into his head momentarily but he continues to pound away at her. His moans are now overpowering hers. When he leans down to lick a nipple, she remembers to enjoy herself as well and starts moaning again. She lets out a little shriek when he blows cool air on it. He doesn't stop fucking her.
It's so hot. It's so, so hot that I wonder if I should stick my hand down my pants and grab myself and wank until I find release. But I'm still, somewhat, in my parents' room and both of them seem like they will come at any moment, now. So I continue to bite into my hand, bruising the flesh and rubbing myself through my jeans, wondering if I can come without touching myself.
"Uhn… Uh… AaahhhH! Yes!"
What he does next, though, takes the wind out of me.
Severus's claw-like fingers dig into her neck. He pins her down with one hand, choking her.
I feel like shouting, "GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER, YOU GIT!" But he won't hear me; what's done is done.
She's loosing breath, looking at him with over-bright eyes. He stares back with onyx ones.
If she doesn't take a breath, she might die! I think, wildly, even though I know that's impossible. Stop it, Severus! He continues to impale her with his cock, going faster and harder still. Until I see her eyes roll back into her head, and her toes curl.
He finally lets go, claw marks still on her smooth neck.
She takes a breath. And screams.
She's coming, I realize. I had never been able to get her to come during sex… I always had to use my hands afterwards. But now she's coming so powerfully and sending a prayer of gibberish and "Yes! Yes! YES!" Never realized she liked breath-play.
Severus follows her almost immediately, climaxing hard and grunting and moaning almost as loudly, until he sinks, sweat-soaked on top of her naked body.
Breathing heavily they both cling to each other. I touch myself lightly and find that I had come in my pants after all. He kisses her, a smoldering sort of kiss he used to kiss me with, and sighs into her hair, "And that was how I always hoped we'd loose our virginity." He smiles.
He traces a line of hair across her forehead. "I'm not a virgin," she says.
"Oh," he frowns. His face is lined with wonder. "You lost it with Potter, then?" He scoffs.
"No… I lost it when I was fourteen."
"Oh."
He stares at the sheets, a flush forming across his cheek. Surely, that's embarrassing. "To who?" he wonders aloud, trying to get her off of the topic of the fact that he was still a virgin, at twenty-two. I have a feeling he was saving himself for her.
"Gideon Prewett. Does it matter?"
He blushes, "I suppose not."
He licks his lips, trying to find a way to correct his mistake. "I just thought…"
"You just thought I'd wait. Until marriage," her voice has a clip on the end of it.
"That's not what I meant. I-it's not…" he swallows, "a problem. I just thought that you waited, that's all. I just assumed."
She rolls her eyes.
"Hey," he traced her cheek with his palm. "That was great, though, wasn't it?"
"For a virgin," she smiles. "No! I'm just kidding, it was great, Sev. Really." She kisses his neck.
He slips out of her, finally, and tosses the condom in the waste bin. He mutters a cleaning charm to wash them both of the stickiness, and returns to her arms.
Good idea, Snape, I think to myself, cleaning and drying my pants and y-fronts.
"Hmmm…" He gives her another languid kiss. "Lils?"
"Yes, Sev?"
They're on such colloquial terms… the last time I heard them address each other it was a curt "Snape" and "Evans"…
"Will you marry me?"
Lily gapes at him. Really, the man has no finesse. You don't just blurt out a question like that! "Are you being serious?"
"Why not?"
"Because… because we just got back together!" Lily sits up on the bed, her bare breasts bobbing as she speaks. Severus leans, nude as day, on the edge of the bed. "And I'm going out with James… and you…"
"James isn't worth your time. I told you that."
"Yes, but…" she sputters.
Suddenly I realize that Remus hadn't been the one that told Lily that I had been cheating on her. That was a rouse. Lily wanted me to believe that she knew. Severus had told her everything. Well, I sniff, everything except for the fact that I was cheating on her with him.
"I told you he's cheating on you! Don't you believe me?"
"Yes! I believe you… but…"
"Marry me, Lily. I'm serious," His eyes are alight with wondrous power. "I don't have a ring or anything. But I'd give you any ring. I'd give you anything."
"Anything? Severus…"
"I'd die for you!" He declares, almost shouting with praise. "I would!"
Lily doesn't respond, but just stares at him in wide-eyed wonder. It's not a kind, flattering wonder, though. It's a slightly fearful gaze, as if she thought that he was completely mad.
"I love you!" Severus grasps one of her freckled hands in two of his. "More than anything! I know I said it while we were having sex, but... I really mean it. I do!"
Her eyes slip off of his face and down to his breast, where the Lily is fluttering with Severus' heavy breathing. She touches it with one painted nail. He lets out a hiss as her finger passes over his nipple. She licks her lips. "Why did you get this tattoo?" she asks.
I think to myself that she is purposely avoiding the question. She's evading an answer, just like she did with me.
"Why do you think?" Severus asks, annoyed that she hadn't answered him.
"That's..." Lily rubs her forehead, perhaps finally reasoning that that flower was only on his chest because it was her namesake. She doesn't know what to do with this kind of fanatic flattery. "That's weird, Sev."
Snape's chest deflates like a balloon. He looks crushed.
I mean, it is weird... in a trekkie sort-of way. He's positively obsessed with her, I realize that now. But that's no reason for Lils to be so mean.
"I can..." Severus' breathing is shallow, he looks as though he's been hit over the head, "I can get it removed." Oh, he sounds so hopeless. He grabs his wand from his bedstand, "I can remove it right now, if you want!"
Lily fists his hand, lifts his wand and sets it back on the table. He obviously doesn't get it.
I don't really understand why he hero-worships her so much. Don't get me wrong, she's wonderful. But I've gotten to know some things about her. She's not perfect. She has a very large mole near her vagina. She farts like no one's business. She's really impatient at grocery stores. She can't drive worth a shit.
Lily Evans isn't perfect, but he seems to want to obey her every whim. To lick her feet. To worship her freckles. How can he play it so cool with me but sound like a whiny teenager with her?
"I'd do anything for you, Lily," Severus breathes, trying to tell her what she already knows.
"Even become a death eater?"
"I wanted to keep you safe!" Snape snarls at the window. "The Dark Lord has been attacking muggle-borns... whose to say that you're not next?"
Lily glares. That was the wrong thing to say, Sev.
"I mean... I mean I'm worried about you!" The slytherin turns his argument around. "But if you married me... I would quit all of that. We could leave England. We could travel the world and not worry about the war..."
"I want you to leave him on your own."
"I... can't..." he whispers.
She glares at him, moisture lining her tired eyes, and begins to gather her clothes, putting a white bra back around her shoulders.
"Lily... Why do you let everyone else get in the way?" Severus whispers. "I want to be with you! Why do you let these shriveled old men dictate how we feel about each other?"
She stares at the ceiling, blinking tears. "I love James," she says, as if it were her final, most important reason.
I hadn't expected my name would come up. Especially not like that. I feel oddly flattered.
"I do too."
I calk my head sideways, staring at Severus, who is smiling slightly as if this was all in his plan.
Lily's eyes are as wide as galleons. She snorts, "What?" She giggles as if he had made some sublime joke.
"I've been meaning to tell you," Severus clutches at her hand again. "I know you love him. And that's why I decided..."
Her jaw drops, so does mine.
"I mean... if you married him, then we wouldn't see each other again," he raises his arms and says, "Please don't be mad at me. But there's a reason that I know that he's cheating on you."
She looks like he's speaking Greek.
"But if you married me, you could have both of us. That's why I... he just... yeah."
He nods. She gapes, "Both of you? What are you talking about?"
He licks his lips and says, "I've been courting James."
"WHAT?!"
I can't help my face splitting into a grin even as my girlfriend starts hitting Severus repeatedly on the head with two pillows.
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU... DAMN IT SEV!"
"I've been dating him so I could get back with you!" He says shielding his face with his arms. "He's not that bad. We could..."
"YOU SLEPT WITH MY BOYFRIEND TO GET BACK WITH ME?!"
"I didn't sleep with him! We haven't even gotten that far!"
"YOU STILL! UGH! SEVERUS!"
"I thought you might like it... if you married me we could all be together-"
"YOU DECEIVING SLUTTY SLYTHERIN!"
"I didn't mean...! I just! Thought we could..." He holds one of the pillows abreast so she can't hit him again. "I love you!"
"YOU USED HIM!" She breathes heavily and I think to myself, Thanks, honey. "You USED him! Don't you have any conscience at all?"
"I..." sweat dribbles down his neck. " I love you." He sounds like a broken record.
"You're mad!" Lily huffs. "I'm getting the hell out of here."
Severus lifts a hand, his naked form standing in the way of the door as she throws on her underwear. "You can't..."
"YES- I- CAN!" Lily shouts, half-in, half-out of her jeans, and lifts her wand. "Get out of my way before I curse the hell out of you!"
"Think about it?" Severus mutters hopefully.
"You- you just..." Lily runs her fingers through her hair and puts on her shirt, buttoning all of the buttons with a charm, "UG!"
She runs out the door, leaving Severus to scratch his arm and stare bashfully after her, still naked.
He lets out a sigh, as do I. I'm thrown back into reality. I let out a snigger that I've been holding in. We're all so ridiculous. Apparently Severus is a great deal more dramatic that I initially thought...
My parents room is surrounding me, the smell of my mother fills my nostrils. I shake my head. So he thought we could "all be together", did he? I wish he had told me his master plan. Stealing my girlfriend by getting with me... it sounds so bad when you say it like that... but now that I've seen it in action I only feel a disdainful glee. A sort of happy pity fills me from my unruly hair to my toes. I snort and shake my head even more, shivering with laughter. How ridiculous! What a nut, Severus is. Did he really think Lily would just go for that? Hey Lils, I just slept with you but I want you to marry me and James can come along for the ride too, if you like.
I would go for that, sure... but... poor Severus. He just doesn't get it. Marriage is a whole different thing.
I feel like I'm not mad at him anymore. That anger I had initially when I wrestled him in the mud of the alleyway is dripping off of my chest, pooling at my feet. I'm not angry at all, actually. I feel positively giddy, shaking with laughter and delight, wondering to myself if I've finally gone off the deep end...
Maybe it's because he had said, I love James too.
I grin at the ceiling.