Crowfeather woke to find a soft lump of fur beside him. Leafpool! I didn't lose you! But when he turned his head he saw... Nightcloud. He had been really messed up last night. He hadn't been thinking straight. Nightcloud awoke beside him and looked him in the eyes. There was a look in her eyes, not sympathy something, more. He shook his head to clear it. Last night had been an exception. Never again. If StarClan wouldn't let him be with Leafpool or Feathertail then he could be with no one.

He got up wearily and streched. The weak morning sunshine seemed to put into perspective how dull is life was now. Onestar marched up to him and ordered him to go on patrol with Ashfoot, Nightcloud and Webfoot. He had no choice but to go, he was a low rank in his clan. He got no say in anything. There was a gathering soon, but he knew he wouldn't be allowed to go.

The patrol trudged up a hill and along the Thunderclan border, remarking scents and catching prey. Crowfeather noticed that Webfoot was glaring at him then at Thunderclan territory to check if he was watching something. Ashfoot, his mother gave him a sorrowful look as if she knew how bad he must be feeling. Nightcloud gazed softly at him, but at every noise from the Thunderclan side she bristled. Even Crowfeather himself felt uneasy.

Crowfeather had to impress his Clan mates so he had to hunt well. He dropped into a hunters crouch and swiftly killed a thrush. He knew prey wouldn't be hard to catch coming so close to newleaf. Still the damp colours around him reflected his dank misery. No bright blooms were in sight now. By the time they returned to camp he had caught a thrush, two mice, a blackbird and a plump vole. He was proud of himself and made sure Onestar was watching him as he carried his prey into camp and dropped it on the pile.

Onestar made his way over to him "You caught a lot" He nodded "I think you can have something to eat"

Crowfeather nodded and turned away but Onestar called him back with his tail.

"Look I'm sorry for being so harsh. I don't know how bad you must feel losing such an important part of your life. But you have to understand that you could never have been together."

"Thank you Onestar can I just go please" Crowfeather pleaded

"Fine. Oh and Crowfeather" He said "Nightcloud, she's a good second choice"

"No I'm not, I don't" Crowfeather struggled to find the right words.

"It's ok you're allowed to love twice in one life time" Onestar meowed as he walked away

Yeah, but three times? I don't even love her. Leafpool is the only one I want to be with...but I can't. At that point Nightcloud padded over to him and sat down next to him. They ate together and shared tougnes in the dying twilight. But when he shared tounges with Nightcloud it wasn't like when he had shared tounges with Leafpool. With Leafpool it was tender, there was a conection. With Leafpool thunder played between their fur, crackling with love. With Leafpool twilight felt warm and her eyes always sparkled.

With Nightcloud it was more like pity. No thunder thrilled him with Nightcloud, no crackling. No warmth. Everything was black and white with Nightcloud, even her fur. It was as if Nightcloud was certian thay'd be together. With her it was like she thought she was doing him a favour. He felt nothing special with Nightcloud and her eyes were just plain.

He lay there for ages with Nightcloud. Absently thinking, longing for Leafpool. His heart ached so much for her soft, beautiful fur to brush against his. Her gentle amber eyes to sooth him. Her sweet herb-like scent to fill his nostrils. Her voice to wash over him in cool waves. He longed for the thunder to ripple between them, as static as electricity. Nightcloud sensing what he was thinking about meowed:

" Don't brood too much over her. She choose her clan over you." Nightcloud eyes were caring "I'll always be here for you. With me, your not against the warrior code."

Crowfeather merley blinked. He didn't care anymore. He was so tired. So, so tired. He got up and padded into the warriors den, and lay down. Nightcloud settled beside him, grooming his ears. He forced himself to purr as he fell asleep. Falling, falling into the blackness.