Disclaimer: As before
Author's Note: Wow, so many reviews for the last chapter, so great to hear from you all again. Obviously it wouldn't have been so long since you last reviewed if it hadn't been so long since I lasted updated! But anyway, I want to move this story along a little, so from now on, the letters will be much further between but I do have a sort of storyline that I am meandering along and it's time to speed things up from a gentle Sunday afternoon amble to a it's Monday morning and I'm late for work sort of a speed I feel. Oh, and for the sake of accuracy, do we know when Ray and Neela's birthdays are meant to be? No doubt if I make it up and get it wrong, I will be corrected, so it would be nice to get it right from the outset.
Baton Rouge
October 3rd 2007
To My Neela
Now we're on the phone to each other every day, this whole letter writing thing seems kind of redundant now, but I thought it was about time the postman brightened your day by bringing you something other than junk mail or a bill so I decided to put pen to paper.
Before I forget (because if I don't say it now it's bound to slip my mind completely) it's my Mom's birthday a week on Tuesday. I don't mean by that you have to get her a present or anything like that, but I know you'll want to send her a card and that I'd be in serious trouble if I didn't tell you, so now you know. We're not planning on doing anything, I don't remember her ever celebrating it, we never made a thing of birthdays, but I thought I might cook her some dinner. I might even do the washing up if I'm really in the giving spirit!!
I was speaking to Pratt the other day, sounds like things are looking good for him and Betina. I don't think I'd go all the way to "loved up", which I feel may be pushing it given that it's Greg, but it sounded like he was pretty serious about the whole thing. I don't think I remember her; she's a radiologist isn't she? What's she like? Is there any other gossip going on at the moment? I do feel out of it down here, it's nice to hear all about it again. Oh, and while I'm on the subject of other people, how's Abby doing? Better, worse or whatever?
Yesterday afternoon, I was at the hospital for a check-up (rather than my rehab center) – nothing out of the ordinary, just a routine exam, and sort of by accident really, I wasn't thinking, I put out a few feelers about good places to look for a residency. I ended up talking to the ortho residency director and he seemed to think it shouldn't be a problem finding something in any decent sized city. I guess you always need doctors, right? I started to think about cities and stuff, but I don't know. Part of me genuinely does want to come back to County, but I don't think it would be good for us. Too much history, and after all our resolutions to look to the future, why take a step back? But anyway, there's still time. It's still going to be another six months at the very least before I can start thinking about taking shifts again, and even then I'd have to have a pretty easy schedule to start off with.
What you were saying about making my peace with it though kinda made sense. I've actually faced some demons from my past here, with my family and stuff, and it's brought me a hell of a lot further forward in my life and done me a lot of good, so I know I have to do the same with these last couple of years as well. And you're right, it needs to be done in Chicago, it's just… Well, I hate to admit it, but it does scare me a bit. It'll be okay, I've got you, and together we can work through it, but… Demons are meant to be frightening, but I refuse to live in the shadow of everything that's happened. I lived in the shadow of my family history for so long, and it's not until now I'm coming out of the other side of it that I realised how much it bothered me. So yes, I know what I have to do, and I will come back to Chicago to do it. But it'll be temporary. Like I said, it would be a step back if it was permanent, but sometimes you have to take a step back before you can go forward. And I wish all this metaphory crap didn't use the word step. It makes it even more metaphory. And more crap!
I've been talking to Bret as well, about a trip to L.A. Apparently my company alone is not sufficient for him, he's demanding you come too. I was thinking about spending a few weeks out there, maybe in the spring, and I know you wouldn't be able to get much time off, but you'll be an R2 by then so hopefully you'll be allowed a few days off to join us for a long weekend or something. What do you think? Don't throw up your hands and say no straight away, it'll be fun, I promise.
And don't you roll your eyes at me either, I know what you're thinking. It will be the right amount of fun, the sort of fun that you will like, not the ending up in a police cell overnight to sober up, wearing excessive amounts of black make-up or getting random tattoos sort of fun. We'll save that for the guys-only bit!! Joking. Ish.
How's the hockey training going? I still cannot believe they are making you play hockey. I mean, you. Sorry, I'm not laughing (much) but you still think hockey is played on grass, wearing no protection beyond a gumshield and a couple of magazines stuffed down your socks. Man, I would love to see you in training. In fact, I'd pay very good money for it. Haha, I bet you're looking around for something to throw at me now, aren't you? At the very least, your hand has curled into a fist so you can ineffectually but oh so cutely punch me on the arm, right?
I'm going to pay for that paragraph at Christmas, aren't I? Ah well, it will be worth it. And on the subject of Christmas; soon, hey? Less than three months now. I know you're going to be busy and all, but how early can I arrive? (Sounding a little keen there, Barnett!) I was thinking of maybe staying for a while, if you'll have me. Mom will only really be able to come up over Christmas itself, but I don't have any commitments except you of course, and rehab, but I can work on that in Chicago, so I was wondering if I could stay for… a month maybe? Or is that too much? Tell me not to be stupid if you want, but I thought it would be kind of nice. I know we did provisionally agree December 22nd, but I just can't wait that long, so let me know, and I'll get on with booking tickets and boring stuff like that.
Anyway, I'm sure I'll be talking to you tonight so I'll stop rambling on now. Hope to get a letter back from you when you've got a spare minute, but in the meantime, I'm looking forward to hearing your voice.
Lots of Love
Ray