Leafpool woke in her den, the moon was up and it wasn't long since she got back from her outing. Stretching her limbs she glanced one last time at her den and padded out. Looking around the camp calmed her. No sounds met her ears except the squeaks of the forest. She yawned and looked around. Thornclaw was on guard his ears at angles listening to every sound. Glancing in the warrior's den she saw the sleeping pelts of Brightheart, Cloudtail, Ashfur, Ferncloud, Dustpelt, Sandstorm and Spiderfur. That meant Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw were still out and Brackenfur, Brook and Stormfur were on patrol.

Leafpool wondered what her life would've been like if she had never wanted to become Cinderpelts apprentice. She would've been a warrior, stronger and her loyalty wouldn't be pricked by a medicine cats' lack of clan hostility. Being with kits would've been easy as it wouldn't have been against the warrior code and no one would suspect her. She would've been able to move into the nursery and take it relaxingly. Cinderpelt might've trained another cat as her apprentice and she could still be alive. If Leafpool was a warrior then prehapes a cat in the clan might've taken an interest in her and she might not have looked at Crowfeather twice.

Why must I pad after him all the time? Am I not strong enough to take this heartbreak? I know I am strong enough!

She remembered meeting him by the stream every other night...

I am strong enough...

His scent in her nostrils...

I am strong enough...

His smooth loving tounge lapping over her head comfortingly...

I am strong enough...

His amber eyes...

I have to be strong enough...

This was the truth and Leafpool knew it. No matter how much she still loved him she could never go back. Not to him. Not ever...

Maybe if I trained an apprentice then I could leave...

No. She knew she couldn't but prehapes... No! He loved Nightcloud now and that was that. But she wished that was not that.

Licking her chest fur she lost herself to her memories. The strong memories as clear as day imprinted in her thoughts. Nearly every one she remembered was about Crowfeather. Running with Crowfeather, talking to Crowfeather, standing with Crowfeather. The thrill of sneaking out of camp to see him at nights. The fear as she stood by Crowfeather wondering what would happen if the were caught.

Shaking her head she tried to think back further. The first gathering on the island. Listning to the leaders talking, Crowfeather's eyes burning into her.

Further

Camping out by the horseplace. Helping cats with their health. Helping elders. Trying to help Crowfeather.

Further

Traveling through the mountains. The cold wind. The hope. Jumping over the gap. Reassured by Crowfeather.

Further

Squirrelflight, Brambleclaw, Stormfur, Tawnypelt and Crowfeather returning from the journey to the sun drown place.

Further

Captured by Twolegs, and helped by Cody. While Crowfeather was on the journey.

It was too hard. Whenever she tried to think about something Crowfeather always popped into her head. She felt like yowling her misery to everyone. Loving a cat she was not allowed to and watching him love another cat who hated her. It was almost too much. Is this how Feathertail felt. As she watched from StarClan?! Oh Feathertail I am sorry. Please forgive me my friend. I never meant it to happen. I am sorry I hurt you.

She felt bitter. So bitter she nearly didn't see Brambleclaw. Blinking she looked up at the other side of the hollow. Standing ontop hissing quietly at her was Brambleclaw.

"Leafpool... Leafpool quickly come here. Don't let anyone see!"

Shaking her head she got up cautiously and began to sneak around the camp. She stuck to the shadows untill she was almost right behind Thornclaw. The she bolted over to the brambles on the other side and froze once out of sight, listning.

"Anyone there?" Thornclaw called then sighed and grunting omething about young apprentice's playing tricks.

Concentrating she tried to climb the wall in frount of her. Previously she had been able to climb it in a few blinks but now, she was with kits and she didn't want to harm them. Hauling herself up to the first ledge she slipped up the ledges slowly. Nearly at the top she wobbled, No! She unsheathed her claws desprate for a grip. Her eyes were wide with fear. Then she felt a grip on her scruff that steadied her. Brambleclaw dragged her up the leapt nimbly after her.

"What is it Brambleclaw" Leafpool meowed questioningly "Why do you need me?"

Brambleclaw gasped for breath. He seemed as if he had run the entire forest twice. "It Squirrelflight. She's kitting!"