--

It wasn't until after Raoul turned and faced me in the main room that I realized that this could not turn into anything good.

He tries to start, but I interrupt.

"This is my house, and you don't lead me out of my own drawing room." I say. "Is there really something you have to say that cannot be said in front of my husband?"

Raoul looks a little scandalized, but he begins to rattle off a speech that sounds as though it has been articulately memorized.

"I failed you, Christine, and I'm sorry, but I can make it right. This whole nightmare can be over, I promise, and I can take you far away where we can forget about everything. I've waited my whole life for you, ever since we were little children, and I won't give up on you now."

I stare at him for a moment. "That's very nice, Raoul, but the nightmare is over. I'm happy with Erik."

He closes his eyes. "I was afraid of this." he says. "You told me to take you away, regardless of what you said. Even if I drag you kicking and screaming, you'll thank me someday."

I consider this. "No, I wouldn't."

"Once, you wanted to run away with me."

"That was a long time ago." I explain. "Before I understood my love for Erik."

Raoul brings his hand up to his face. I think he is actually crying.

The worst thing for me is that I remember how I used to love him. I remember being able to look at him and know that I loved him; I remembered the feeling, but I couldn't quite get it back.

Raoul was my whole childhood, but Erik was my life now. I am not heartless, but I cannot love Raoul anymore. I don't. I love Erik—but that doesn't mean I suddenly have no feelings about Raoul. He is still my friend, and still a connection with my father. Papa had loved Raoul, and would never want me to give anything less than the truth to him.

"I promised to take you away no matter what!"

I stand my ground. "I am staying right here."

"What has he done to you?"

"Erik gave me music." I answer. "Erik gave me love. How I was afraid of him, when he wept at my feet! But he will not do that anymore. He will not do that, because he trusts me to accept his love. I have earned his trust, as he has earned mine—"

"You said he horrified you!"

"And I said I loved you!" I burst out. "But feelings that are founded on fear and dreams do not last, Raoul!"

He steps forward, his expression jarringly similar to the Daroga's as we approached the end of our conversation. "Think of all the things you said to me!"

I don't answer; I hear Erik's voice in the drawing room, and I pause, attempting to pick it out. I listen vainly for a moment, and then turn back to Raoul. "I need to go back in."

"He said you could go." Raoul says dazedly.

I sniff. "Erik is a little overdramatic. I'm not going anywhere. He knows that."

At least, I think he knows that…

"He's not human. He's not a man."

"He is. I love him."

Raoul heaves a heavy sigh. He cannot fight me much longer. Being contradicted continuously grates on raw nerves, I can confirm that.

"You don't have to do this." he says stubbornly. "Would your father have wanted this for you?"

I give him a firm stare. "My father would want me to make my own choices and stick with them."

He laughs like a hyena. "Christine, Christine! How you've changed!" I turn away from him, lifting up my skirts and going to the door. "It's like I don't know you anymore!"

"You don't." I say softly. "I know I've changed. And so have you. We all do."

"Don't give that to me!" Raoul spits, crossing his arms. "You played with us both! You couldn't decide who you wanted to hurt more!"

I cannot find anything to say to him. He's right; I did hurt them both. Now I was through making amends, and I was going on with my life. The life I was prepared to build with Erik.

Horrible Erik, a murderer and a liar, a magician and master, who had claimed first my soul, and then my heart. What chance had Raoul ever had? All I had needed, all along, was to give Erik that chance of love. I had given Raoul the chance, and I was never satisfied. Now, I want to stay with Erik forever while I exchange a farewell with my first love and my truest friend.

Raoul, who had never gotten beyond a shy kiss, who didn't have the capacity to control me as Erik once did. I turned and gave him a great hug while he stood still beneath me.

"I shall die if you don't come with me!" he says flatly. "I will surely perish!"

"If you do anything to intentionally harm yourself, you are a very great fool." I scold.

"My heart is broken."

"I'm sorry." I say, and I mean it. I am sorry. Raoul is getting the worst deal. But Erik deserves the most. "Go to the North Pole." I suggest. "Come back someday and check on me. If I am not happy, then we'll talk. But I will be, and you can go and find a suitable wife to marry."

He looks at me sadly. "I can never imagine… all my life, I have dreamed of you…"

I need to be strong, for Raoul. If I hesitate, he will grow more determined to carry me away. I press my lips together and shake my head. "And you always knew it could not be."

I should be proud of myself. I should feel triumphant for my victory. But all I feel is empty. I gained no pleasure from hurting Raoul.

I push open the door in the drawing room and hold it open for Raoul. He shakes his head, and looks at his feet.

"I'll wait out here." he says. I glance at him suspiciously, but he goes and settles himself on the couch. I close the door, but do not latch it. I wait for a moment, and sure enough, Raoul appears in the doorway. I give him a little smile, and then turn back.

The Daroga looks at me. "You should at least go back up." he says. "Go back up to Paris. Erik will get you both a flat, will he not?"

I throw a stare at my husband, who is looking at the ceiling. "Maybe." he says finally.

The Daroga comes and kisses my hand. "I trust you, Christine." he says.

I try to look as reassuring as I can.

"For God's sakes, he's put her under a spell!" Raoul cries suddenly, looking desperately at the Daroga. "You promised me that I could make her safe!"

"I promised you her safety." the darker man said in a deep tone, flicking a glance to Erik.

"With him?" Raoul ranted. "He tried to blow us all up!"

I stiffen, giving Raoul a very disapproving look. I try to give Erik a nicer look, but – damnit!—he is still not looking at me!

Raoul points an accusing finger. "I will not leave my fiancée with him!"

"I am no longer your fiancée."

"Oh, because he forced you to marry him, I remember. Marry him or die, wasn't it?"

I am beginning to fear for Raoul's life. I go and stand next to Erik. "I married him out of my own free will. You can clearly see that if I wanted to leave, I would have taken one of the ample opportunities and left. I am still here for a reason. "

"Time to go," the Daroga is muttering to Raoul. I reach out and take Erik's hand. He doesn't pull away, but stands unnaturally straight, his icy fingers wrapped comfortingly around mine. There is so much I need to say to him, so much this morning should have been… If I could somehow transport all my feelings into him through my hand, I would do it. I would tell him I love him for all his imperfections, for the way his clumsy hands shuddered in mine last night, for the way he keeps his dignity even in situations like these.

I want Raoul to leave, so I can say these things.

"You are a fickle woman." Raoul says. "I loved you! And now you love him? He's a monster! He doesn't love you! And perhaps you are a fool for defending him. A creature who can offer you nothing and who will never be loved, despite what you say to him!"

I take a sharp breath in, fury rising in me like never before as Erik's hand twitches in mine. A tidal wave of unadultered anger sweeps over me as I realize that there is nothing I can do to take back the words Erik was just forced to listen to, as I welcome the sorrow that drowns me as Raoul doubts not only my word, but my love.

Something I had once given to him. How silly.

The bolt of lightning surges through me as I take a threatening step.

"Get out of my house."

Erik reaches forward and tries to take me gently around the waist, and I feel his hands shaking. Raoul squeezes his eyes shut. "Christine, I love you, I never meant to call you—"

"Go away!"

The Daroga says something in a strange language, looking behind me, and pulls Raoul out the door as my one friend shouts apologies and declarations of his devotion.

Panting a little, I reflect. Raoul often says things he does not mean, and I can get over them; but Erik cannot.

I turn back to him, and Erik looks at the ground. "I told them you could leave. And you stayed."

"Of course I stayed, Erik." I whisper. I can say nothing more, as I too, look at the ground.

How curious our situation is. He is shy. What is he thinking?

He looks into my eyes, eyes that are not angry or hurt, and takes off his mask and drops it on the floor. I go to him and bury my face in his jacket, wrapping my arms around him. I am loved here, I know. 

I can look forward to something. I lean up and kiss his face, starting with his forehead, and ending with his lips.

"Oh, Christine." Erik sighs, and he puts his arms around me and presses me close. "Oh, Christine."

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