I Remember You
Chapter Eleven
Mara laughed. "This might be a dream Sam, but make no mistake. You and your wonderful powers now belong to me, forever!"
Sam was trying to catch his breath. The words Mara had spoken in his dream echoed in his head. God these implanted memories sucked.
His musings were interrupted as Dean entered their shared bedroom. Sam watched his big brother's face become concerned as they locked eyes.
"You okay kiddo?" Dean asked as he sat down on the side of Sam's bed.
Sam nodded still trying to catch his breath. He was able to stutter out. "N-Nightmare."
Dean gave his leg a reassuring pat. "I'll go get you some water, be right back."
Sam took the time alone to compose himself and was feeling a bit more in control when Dean returned with the promised water.
His older brother held out the water as he sat down on the edge of Sam's bed.
"Thanks." Sam replied as he took the glass of cool liquid. He made quick work of the water and handed the glass back to his brother.
Dean took it and then spoke. "So was this a demon memory induced nightmare?"
Sam smirked. "When isn't it?"
Dean gave a reassuring smile back. "Wanna talk about it?"
Sam sighed. "I guess." Sam took a deep breath before he spoke again. "I think this one was the last of the series, at least I hope so. I dreamed that I went to some initiation thing with Jess. It was in a college lecture hall and the table in the front was like the altar- I think."
Dean's expression turned serious. "Doesn't sound good."
"Nope, it wasn't. There were like twelve robed figures, all in brown but the leader was wearing a black robe. Her name was Mara. She asked my dream self if I was ready to join their family. My dream self agreed and got on top of the table. She cut her arm and the dream Sam's arm and mixed the blood." Sam swallowed hard remembering watching this in horror.
"What did the bitch look like? Did you recognize her?" Dean's eyes were a blaze with anger.
"She was very pretty, but scary too. I didn't recognize her, only Jess." Sam involuntarily shivered at the thought of the piercing look Mara had given him at the end of the dream.
Dean shifted uncomfortably. "What happened next?"
Sam broke eye contact and began to worry the sheet on the bed between his fingers as he recalled the end of the dream. "She announced to my dream self that I belonged to her and then I confronted her. I told her this was just a sick dream and not real. She then said that something like that might be so, but I still belong to her. Then I woke up."
Sam slowly looked up and realized that Dean was past the anger stage and had move on to furious.
"Damn it! God I hated this Sam. I do. I wish I could protect you from them invading your dreams." Dean growled out.
"Thanks Dean that means a lot it does. I've been thinking that the end of my dream might have just been that - a dream and not the planted memories." Sam gave Dean a hopefully look.
Dean seemed to settle a bit. "Yeah that would make sense that once you confronted your dream, your mind took control."
"So hopefully this is the end?" Sam hoped for a positive response.
"Yeah at least for the dreams. Until Ruby tracks the rest of this demon cult down, I want to keep you here where it's safe, okay?" Dean's tone was stern and full of concern.
"Sure sounds like a plan." Sam smiled back.
Dean winked. "Well let's see if we can get some rest."
Sam nodded and began to settle back in bed, listening to the rustling sound of his brother getting ready for bed.
It occurred to Sam that he actually felt comfort in his brother's presence now. The dream had really shaken him to the core, but sharing it with Dean had made him feel better , safe. It was a good feeling.
His brother's intensity had been scary at first and it still was overwhelming at times, but Sam realized that it came from a good place. Dean cared about him and Sam fervently wished that he could remember their past so that he could share in the brotherly bond better.
As Sam drifted back to sleep he promised himself to work on his relationship with Dean.
-0-
Dean had been in a happy alcohol induced haze as he reached the bedroom he shared with Sam. That haze was quickly replaced by an intense sobering worry as he took in the disheveled and breathless form that was his brother.
One of Dean's wishes had been for the memory implanted dreams to stop for his brother. Surely they would end soon?
But one look at Sam confirmed the fact that he had once again been visited by the demon memories.
Dean did take some comfort in the fact that Sam had been willing to share the details of the dream with very little prodding. He hoped that this was a sign that his baby brother was beginning to trust and feel more comfortable with him.
It was also of some comfort that Sam thought this was the last one. Dean hoped that Sam's feelings on this were right. It tore him up to watch Sam fall apart after each intense dream.
As he watched his little brother settle back down for the night, Dean took comfort in his decision to keep his brother in the dark about the deal. His brother had enough on his plate without the stupid deal.
-0-
Dean had never been one to want to stay in one place for long. But he had to admit that he had enjoyed the last couple of weeks with Bobby.
Sam was still without his memories, but they had begun to become brother's again minus them. It was almost easier, or at least it seemed easier after the rocky months they had face after the deal.
It was a brotherly relationship minus all the guilt that Sam had been carrying around, and Dean could handle that. They shared light brotherly banter, and enjoyed each other's company.
That morning had been a particularly happy one, both boys had enjoyed a fishing trip to the pond. They had caught a couple of fish and Dean had recounted some of their more colorful childhood memories.
Bobby had customers to deal with and so the boys decided to take their catch and turn it into lunch for the busy elder hunter.
It was during the cleaning process that Dean pondered over how weird it was that his little brother remembered how to clean a fish but couldn't remember a single thing about their childhood.
They were about finished when Dean's cell went off. The Caller ID blinked Joshua's name.
"Hey Sammy, I need to take this call. Can you finish up?" Dean smirked as he heard his brother grumbling about well timed phone calls getting lazy brothers out of the clean up jobs.
"Hey Josh, what's going on?" Dean answered. Joshua was one of the few trusted family friends Dean and Sam had left, and it was good to touch base with the man.
"Things are okay. Sorry to hear about Sam, Bobby gave me a buzz about him a few weeks ago. Is he any better?" Josh's voice was full of concern.
"His memory is still blank, but he is finally stronger." Dean was so happy for the healthy part that he was able to report. The drugs the demons had given Sam had stayed in his system for so long it had really troubled Dean. It was nice to see Sam back to his old self physically.
"That's good. I think I might have an answer for the memory loss part too. Seems, this hasn't been the first case of brain washing this group has tried. They used it on another hunter trying to get insider information. The hunter was lucky that his buddies were able to rescue him and in the process got the notes on the memory loss potion and ritual." Josh paused. "So I'm going to email all the Intel I have to you and Bobby, okay?"
Dean felt his stomach clench at the information. He wanted to give his brother his memories back but that would mean his brother would have to face the upcoming deal.
"Sure thing, Josh, I appreciate it." Dean gritted out.
"No problem, and I'll be in touch." Josh replied with concern still lingering in his voice.
"Later." Dean cut the call off unable to keep his emotions at bay any longer.
I need time to figure this out, were Dean's thoughts as he walked back out to his brother.
"Hey Sammy, that was our friend Josh and he needs me to email him some notes from one of our hunts. I'm going to do that and then I help you with lunch, okay?" Dean tried to keep his tone light.
"Okay, but I'm still not sure this isn't all a ruse to stick me with all the work." Sam playfully huffed.
"Whatever Samantha." Dean playfully replied as he hurried back inside.
Dean quickly made his way over to Bobby's desk and pulled up Bobby's email, deleting the incoming message from Josh. He then checked his email, saving it. It was safe in the computer in case Dean needed it but for now he wanted to wait.
A Sam without his memories meant a Sam who wouldn't have to feel the guilt when Dean's deal came due. He could keep Sam in the dark and then the boy would only have to deal with the grief over losing Dean.
Sam could move on. Be free of this life of hunting, maybe start a family. Sam would make a great Dad.
Dean was brought out of his musings by his brother's voice.
"Dude, you're going to have to get your ass in here, I'm still learning my way around Bobby's kitchen." Sam shouted from the other room.
"Don't get your panties in a wad Sammy, I'll be in there to hold your hand in a minute." Dean replied with a smile.
"Jerk." Sam replied. Dean smiled brighter at his brother's the natural retort.
"Bitch." Dean replied as he shut the email down. Confident in his decision to keep Sam in the dark and safe.
-0-
Sam flopped into bed. It had been a long day and he was exhausted. They had gotten up early to fish and while the day had been fun, it had been busy. They had finished the day by finishing off their catch with beer.
Sam had a full stomach and a pleasant buzz, and was so ready for a good night's sleep. He drifted off as his brother settled into the bed next to him.
Sam found himself down stairs in Bobby's house. He called for Dean but got no answer. It was then that the front door opened and a familiar face walked in.
It was a face that while beautiful, terrified him. Mara, the demon leader from his dream.
"Hello Sam, aren't you going to invite me in?"Mara spoke as she walked into the room standing in front of Sam.
"Get out." Sam fought to keep his voice calm.
"Oh but I just got here. We need to visit. I think I need to remind you of a few things." Mara's voice was stern.
"This is just a dream, my dream and I don't have to listen to you." Sam replied angrily.
"A dream huh? I guess in the strictest sense it is your dream, but I'm real and I'm in control."Mara grabbed Sam's arm and pulled the sleeve up revealing a fading scar. "We bonded, don't you remember? You're mine and I'll be there soon to get you. We will be perfect together."
Mara released his arm and turned to leave. "Soon my pet, soon." She spoke as she left through the front door.
Sam popped up in bed. He was glad that he hadn't awakened Dean this time. Even though he wanted the comfort of his brother, he was tired of being a burden.
They had finally reached a point where Dean wasn't hovering. The nightmares had stopped, Sam had gotten stronger physically and for the first time since being rescued from the demon, he felt some what in control of his life.
The thought of going back to Dean hovering made Sam decide to keep the latest nightmare to himself. The fact that it wasn't a planted memory gave Sam hope.
In his mind, this was a nightmare plain and simple. He would suck it up and move on.
With a renewed confidence in himself, Sam burrowed his way back under his blankets and willed himself to let go. Sleep claimed him shortly afterwards.
A/N: Thanks for reading more soon!