A.N. I wrote this a while back but because of the stress of preparing for cxc/csec it took a while to be typed up. I'm in the process of writing chapters for Back Into Reality, Esmeralda, My Own Abuse and I'm finishing up the first chapter of a new story that I won't post until it's complete but I really want to finish Esmeralda before continuing any of the others so don't expect any updates soon. Hope you guys enjoy this. Much thanks to SasuNaruJunkie and Inverted Iris for everything. And thanks also to Jay and Matt for the encouragement...love you guys.

The song is Yellow by Coldplay.

Yellow

I wish I could say I loved my mother but I loathe calling her mother since she isn't one bit motherly. After my father died, it took her less than two years to find another lover. As a baby only a little more than a year old I was understandably confused but nothing could prepare me for this strange man forcing himself into my life. I got used to it pretty quickly seeing as scores of men must have passed through by the time I turned sixteen. They'd all try to win her over by showering me with gifts and attention. I hated them all. Except Kevin; he left me a gift that I'll cherish until death, a gift no-one else had been able to give. He gave me a little sister, a sweet little bubble of laughter ... or should have been. Lilith had drunk various kinds of alcohol throughout her pregnancy and the moment Samantha Amaryllis Brown had been born, I took her having decided to raise her myself. One look into those baby blue eyes I knew I loved her despite the doctors' warning that she wouldn't live; despite her small physique, fevered eyes, despite that she was only skin and bone; despite the fact that her complexion was almost ... yellow.

Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you

And everything that you do
Yeah they were all yellow

I couldn't help but watch as she attempted to put the block in the wrong shaped hole. Laughing I scooped the now two year old Sami off the living-room floor and tossed her in the air before catching her back and blowing on her belly and smiling when she laughed. Bringing me her back to face level she unexpectedly put both of her chubby hands on either side of my face and planted a wet kiss on my nose.

I came along
I wrote a song for you
And everything you do
And it was called yellow

Setting her comfortably in my lap, I began to rub soothing circles on her back and sung her a lullaby telling her how much I loved her. Every night I tried making up a new game, story or a song describing her and how I'd never stop loving her. I didn't want her growing up thinking everyone around her would eventually abandon her like her parents did.

So when I took my turn,
Oh what a thing to have done
And it was all yellow

For the first time since he passed away I found myself at my father's grave and with tears in my eyes I fell to my knees in front of his tombstone and slowly traced the inscription with my finger, I don't know how long I stayed there but the sun which had been high in the sky was long gone and I managed to tell him everything about my life, everything about Sami. I had asked him for strength and guidance and even though he wasn't there physically, I felt capable of facing anything so with a promise to come and visit soon, I left.

Your skin,
Oh yeah your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful
You know, you know I love you so

No one could ever imagine the joy I felt when I realized she was getting better. Her form filled out to the point that she could be called chubby, her eyes were now bright and playful and many days in the sun had given her a tan. I could tell as she stood there in her little yellow sundress that she'd be a heart breaker when she grew up.

I swam across,
I jumped across for you
Oh what a thing to do
'Cause you were all yellow

The loud sirens pierced the silent night air as the ambulance raced to the hospital. Tears rolled down my face as I held on to her limp, lifeless hand. Bringing her fingers to my lips, I kissed each one and told her it was going to be okay. Secretly I tried to believe it myself.

I drew a line
I drew a line for you
Oh what a thing to do
And it was a all yellow

I held her trembling hand in mine as we coloured the lily yellow. Ironic isn't it? Well she doesn't seem to think so. She's too busy breathing through an oxygen mask; she's so busy fighting to live, that she doesn't even remember me. I brought her favourite bear, her baby blanket, colouring book and pictures from her second birthday. Yet still she draws up blanks and it breaks my heart over and over again.

Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
And you know
For you I'd bleed myself dry
For you I'd bleed myself dry

Today's her graduation then she's off to college. It's been a long journey, started living off my inheritance while working two jobs to ensure that she'd never have to go hungry or without being able to but her things that she needed and the things she wanted. I doubt she'll ever know the amount of stress that came from her repeated hospital visits and returning condition. But there she stands, more beautiful than I ever could have imagined, her blonde hair blowing in the wind and a huge smile on her face. My baby sister, Samantha Amaryllis Brown.

Its true
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine

Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And all the things that you do