iCan Cope

Chapter 3
iMissed You

Even though practice may have been bad, with my squad members downing Sam, at least things would be better when I finally got to see her. When I opened my front door and walked inside, I saw my brother working on a new sculpture, and Sam sitting on my couch.

It felt like when we were kids again… when I saw her on my couch. Neither of them heard me come in, so I just stood there for a moment, staring at her. I missed her so much. I wonder what might have happened if maybe she wouldn't have left eight years ago. I wonder if we'd still be best friends today. I'm sure we would. I'm sure it would be no different than walking into my apartment and seeing her sitting on my couch right now.

I'm sure getting to spend more time together while we grew up would have had a bigger impact on our friendship now though. I remember wishing she would have been at my birthday parties. I wish I could have went to hers. After a few moments of standing there with scattered thoughts, Sam broke me of my daze.

"Carly?" She started walking towards me waving her hand in front of my face. My eyes met hers and I immediately opened my arms to hug her.

"Hey, Sam." I said kind of quietly. I was still hugging her when I verbally greeted her. While I was hugging her, I didn't want to let her go. For some reason, I was afraid if I let go, I would lose her again. We just stood there and hugged for a minute or two, allowing all of the missed hugs to try and redeem themselves in that one. "So, you wanna grab a snack and head up to my room so we can catch up?" I said to her, slowly pulling away from her.

"Sounds great to me." We grabbed some juice and made ham sandwiches. I pressed the elevator button and we proceeded to my room. Her eyes shifted all around my room, noting at how much my room had changed.

"I love your room." She said, placing herself on my bed. I sat down beside her.

"Thanks." It was silent for a second between us. I'm pretty sure the ham sandwiches had something to do with our silence.

"So, Carls. How has life been for you since I left?" Sam asked, sucking down her sandwich at the speed of light.

"It's been pretty good, amazingly. I'm in the top 10 of my class, I'm the captain of the varsity cheerleading squad… I'm pretty happy, I guess. I've missed you so much though. After you left, I wouldn't let myself get close to anyone else." I said. When I said I wouldn't let anyone else close to me, she stopped eating her sandwich and looked at me.

"You wouldn't let yourself get close to anyone else? Because of me?" Sam looked a little confused, but quickly erased the look. She finished her sandwich while I still had half of mine left.

"Yeah. I didn't want to lose another best friend." I shrugged. I guess that was the only reason why I never let myself get close to anyone else.

"Oh." Was all she said.

"What about you, Sam?" I tried to finish my sandwich. I watched her eyes search my room discretely. For a minute, I thought she was looking for something, but she seemed to quickly snap out of the random searching.

"Life has been okay, I guess."She shrugged. "Well, okay… life has been pretty crappy. I got arrested three years ago. Luckily, they let me off without any actual charges because I was only thirteen." I was stunned. I knew Sam was a trouble-maker, but I didn't actually think that she would ever get arrested because of it… or at least at thirteen years old.

"Sam… you were arrested? Why were you arrested?" I asked.

"I got mixed in with the wrong crowd." She said.

"At thirteen?!" I questioned.

"Yeah, well." Sam just shrugged. "My mom doesn't exactly like me very much anymore. That's why I got mixed in with the bad crowds."

"I heard some girls saying you burned down your school-" I started.

"I'm not Buffy. I burned down no schools or their gyms." She lightly chuckled. I smiled with a slight sigh of relief.

"Then what was it?" I still wondered.

"Breaking and entering. I was the only one who knew how to pick a lock. It figures. I never should have done that. That was probably the only bad thing I have ever done that I actually have regrets for." She laid back on my bed and looked up at the ceiling.

"Wow." We sat there in silence for a moment. "Well, other than that rough patch, how has everything else been?" I scooted up to sit beside her on my bed.

"Other than the fact that my mom doesn't talk to me much anymore because she stays mad at me and getting arrested, I guess everything has been alright."

"Any new friends?"

"Nope. Like you, I refused to get close to anyone. I dated some guy a year ago. That was a big mistake."

"What happened?" I felt very pushy asking all of these questions.

"I thought I was pregnant. Luckily, my stress problems and his low sperm count quickly eliminated another life form." I had to hold my jaw from dropping. "I broke up with him after he pulled that shit with me." It seemed like she had a large amount of resent towards this unknown male.

"Wow. I'm sorry, Sam. I really am." I didn't really know what to say.

"It's all good. Tell me about you some more. I don't want to talk about me right now. It makes me feel depressed at how terrible things have been." Sam turned on her side to face me better.

"Well-" I tried to figure out a place to start. "Since you left, a boy moved in across the hall from me. His name is Freddy. He's probably the only person I'm remotely close to. He's had a crush on me from the day he moved in, eight years ago. It's amazing at how devoted he is to me. It's too bad I can't return the feelings, he really is sweet." I shrugged.

"Aww, how cute. A little love puppy." Sam said sarcastically with a smile on her face. I miss those sarcastic remarks.

"Yeah… Um, I have dated a few guys though. None of them have ever been able to flick my interest though. It's funny, my first kiss was with my co-captain, Jayla." I laughed. "I felt more with the kiss with my co-captain than with any boy that's ever kissed me." Sam smiled at me.

"So, are you gay or something?" She asked. I hesitated before I answered here. I'm not sure why I hesitated, but I did.

"I don't really know. I've never given that much thought. I figured I'd worry about that after I finished high school." It was true. I wasn't interested in dating, so my orientation didn't matter much to me.

"I figured out I was gay after that douche bag almost knocked me up. I realized how much I disliked men. It just seemed to fit me anyway. I've never matched up too well with guys anyway. It just seems more fitting for me to be with a girl." She said. Somehow, this didn't surprise me.

"I think I would have to agree with you." I smiled. "I can see you with a girl better than a guy." She nodded her head.

"I'm not out of the closet though, so if you wouldn't mind, please don't let the word get around the school. I don't feel like getting expelled because I have to beat the hell out of every homophobic douche at the school." She laughed. She really had gotten pretty over the years, especially for her to be so tomboy-ish. Her looks were so natural. No make-up or anything to improve her looks. She was just natural. She looked beautiful.

"No problem. I won't tell. Even if we've been apart for so long, I'm still your best friend and I always will be." I leaned down to her and snuggled her into a hug. The snuggle-hug ended up leading to a long playful wrestling match. It was like the days when we were kids.

It was almost like reliving the memories, only instead… we were making new ones.

AN – Well, I hope this chapter was great for you guys : ) I wanted to have it posted last night… but that didn't happen : ( but hey, it's up now! Thanks for the reviews so far! More reviews would make me even happier! And thanks to those of you who keep adding me to your favorites list and such : )