iCan Cope

Chapter 4
iCan Hear You

.:Sam's Point of View:.

Somehow, life seems ridiculous everywhere I go. I don't understand why girls have to spout out so much gossip about me. I know I'm awesome, but seriously people. It started in high school, go figure. Middle school seemed to be fine. Everyone was scared of me then. I guess when I started high school, I lost my scary touch.

I lost myself when I left Carly eight years ago. It's like when I left her, I left myself behind. I've never been able to explain it, but since I left, I've been trying to re-find myself. I've never had much luck though. It seems as though everything I do is wrong. I made the mistake of losing my virginity to some jerk that almost got me pregnant. I'm almost kind of glad I did though, because after that happened I realized that I wasn't into guys and I realized how much I despised them.

I think if my mom and I wouldn't have moved eight years ago, I wouldn't have gotten myself into so much trouble. I wonder if I would still be the same person I am now though. I wonder if my mom would still like me if we would have stayed. I want to blame her for all of this, but I don't know if I can. I know I'm irresponsible, but I'm only sixteen years old. You can't really blame me for that.

Last night with Carly was the best time I've had in a long time. I don't know if I believe in soul mates or not, but if a such thing exists, I think Carly is mine. I don't know if soul mates or whatever have to be romantically involved, but whether they are or not, I still think she is the other half of me. It's amazing that being away from her for eight years has torn me apart, but then suddenly being with her again makes me feel alive and complete.

Since the day I left her, I haven't cried. It was only the moment I left have I ever cried. I've stayed very strong over the years. I've also cut myself off from the world. Maybe that will change since I'm back around Carly again.

--

"Ugh." I groan as the teacher assigns a pop quiz. I've been at this school two days and already I'm getting a freaking pop quiz. She passes out the papers, and as mine lands on my desk, my eyes immediately roll to the back of my head. I hate history.

It was a short pop quiz, luckily. For once, I think I may have actually passed it. The principal came in and called the teacher out for a few minutes. I could hear whispering coming from behind me. I couldn't quite make out all of what the girls behind me were saying, but I knew it had something to do with me. After I had finally heard enough, I turned around and said something.

"Are your lives really that boring and meaningless that you have nothing better to talk about than me?" I said sarcastically. They both gave me a snarling look. I rolled my eyes. "Great. Then shut up." I turned back around. I could feel their eyes digging into my skin. It makes me angry when I hear people gossiping about me. It normally just makes me want to punch them, but lately, I've been trying to tie my violent side down so I stay out of trouble.

--

.:Carly's Point of View:.

School was going so slow today, or at least that's what it felt like. I was so distracted the entire day; it felt like I was in school for half of my life in one day. Normally school is exciting and fun, but today there was nothing fun about it. The only thing I could think about was that Sam was back.

I can't believe Sam's gay. Well, actually, I can believe it. I guess if she wouldn't have left and we would have been around each other all of these years, I guess I would have seen that one coming. I can't believe she actually got arrested though. Sam's not a criminal. She's just misguided. Maybe she'll be better now that she's back. Who knows? Our wrestling match last night was a lot of fun. I can't stop thinking about it. Sam has gotten so strong even though she looks seemingly harmless. I guess it amazes me that I can look at my best friend and know everything but at the same time know absolutely nothing about her.

I'm really glad that we didn't have practice today. Instead, I'd be spending the day with Sam. I didn't want to hear my squad bad mouthing her again. That's just a good way to get me upset. The bell rang a few minutes ago and just as I was going to leave, Jayla came up to talk to me.

"Hey, you." She said to me, tagging me with her pompom.

"Hey." I smiled at her. If I had to say someone was my best friend other than Sam, I think I would definitely have to say it would be her. She is always so nice and friendly. She's been my co-captain for a year now. I've been captain for two years. I know she would probably do anything to be the captain, but I know she would never try and take the position from me. I treat her like a captain, not a co-captain, so really the only difference is the title. I hold a lot of respect for her and I can tell the feeling is mutual.

"I'm not gonna be able to make it to practice tomorrow. I have a doctor's appointment directly after school and I don't know how long that's going to take." She said. That was one thing I loved about her… she always included me in on everything. She says that communication is the key to everything. We've never had a point in our friendship or cheerleading responsibilities where we have had miscommunication.

"That's fine. I can fill you in this weekend or wait until Monday. We're having a short practice tomorrow anyway." I smiled at her and she grinned back.

"Great. Well, I'll see you in the morning." She started to walk off.

"Hey, wait." I stopped her. "Have you by chance heard any of the other girls say anything about Sam?" I asked.

"I haven't heard anything. Why do you ask?" She looked at me slightly puzzled.

"Well, yesterday I heard the girls gossiping about my best friend and it upset me. I told them if I heard them say anything else about her I would remove them from the squad. I was just wondering if they took me seriously or not." I said. She nodded her head at me.

"Oh. Well, I haven't heard anything. But if I do hear anything I'll let you know." She flashed me her usual goodbye-grin and left. I looked at my cell phone to check the time and decided to head home.

While I was walking home, I decided that maybe I shouldn't wait until after high school to figure out my orientation. I had enjoyed the kiss I shared with Jayla last year. Maybe I was into girls and guys. Or maybe just girls, I'm not sure. Well, I guess if nothing else Sam can help me figure it out. I guess the only thing holding me back from getting into a relationship was not having anyone to talk to about it. I have Sam back now, so maybe I should shake things up some?

Spencer wasn't home when I got there, but Sam was. I don't know how she got in without a key. Wait, she was arrested for breaking and entering… I guess she picked the lock. I can't imagine it's too hard with these old doors anyway.

Now it's time for another night with my Sam.

AN – So the ending is a little rushed for this chapter, but I wanted to post it before I go to this stupid soul caliber tournament thing with my friend. I'll probably be typing up the next chapter while I'm here. Enjoy guys! (please review!)