iCan Cope

Chapter 5
iThink I Wanna Know

Two weeks had passed with Sam. It was nice. I thought about some things during those two weeks. Some things I decided not to tell anyone, not even Sam. Sam and I were closer now than we had ever been, and being so close to her was starting to make me think about some things I wasn't completely sure I wanted to think about.

Sam told me why her mom didn't talk to her much anymore. Apparently a few years ago Sam's mom had a boyfriend who didn't like children… so Sam's mom kind of disowned her for the love of her boyfriend. It turns out he beat Sam's mom and tried to rape Sam, but Sam hit him so hard in the head with an iron that he never came near her again. When he left Sam's mom she blamed her. That was around the time Sam had started getting into trouble. I guess I can see where Sam was coming from.

Even though it had only been two weeks that Sam had been back, I was thinking about asking Sam to move in with me to be away from her mom. I think it would be better for her, maybe even keep her from getting into so much trouble. Then I could also see her whenever I wanted to.

Sam told me that if I ever wanted to figure out if I liked girls or not that I could experiment with her. She was laughing whenever she said that, so I don't know if she was being serious or kidding. Being around Sam gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside. She gives me that kind of silly feeling whenever you like someone. I love every aspect of her personality, flaws included. I've never felt that way about anyone before. Maybe it's just a best friend thing. Or maybe it's more. Either way, I think I'd like to further investigate it.

Today, after fourth period, I'm gonna tell Sam that I want to try the experimental thing.

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All of my classes seemed to go by so slowly. Whenever lunch came around, I got to see Sam for a minute, but only long enough for her to tell me that she had detention and she wouldn't be able to walk home with me. I told her to just wait for me in the hall after they cleared out before detention started. She smiled and agreed.

I sat with my squad at lunch. We talked about the routine we were planning to do at the pep rally in a few weeks. Strangely, Miranda and Autumn weren't sitting with us. They kept nonchalantly shooting me evil looks. I'm guessing it had something to do with me taking up for Sam. I told Sam the things they had been saying about her, so Sam broke into their lockers and filled them with bugs. Of course Sam got detention for this, but it was still funny and definitely worth it. Now they hate her even more though. Sam doesn't seem to care. I wish I could be more like her and not care what people say.

"Do you guy wanna do some school spirited face paintings to go with our routine?" Jayla asked. She was always full of creative and silly ideas that somehow we always seemed to do.

"I'm for it." I said. My inner child comes out whenever we talk about paint. It makes me want to be silly.

"Sure, why not." Lisa and Alyssa said. The other girls just smiled and nodded. We all made giggles at the face paint idea, but Jayla did give a good one. Jayla then continued to rant on about what kind of designs we could do. We had four girls on the squad that were very creative with paint, so our faces should be something incredibly neat for the rally.

When lunch was over, I went to my last class. We had a substitute teacher today so we ended up watching a movie. To make time go by faster, I drew a doodle on a sheet of paper. There were some silly hearts floating around the page, some little twirly things, some confetti-looking things, various shapes, and two little robots holding hands. It looked rather cute if you ask me. I decided that Sam and I were the robots. I just smiled at the thought.

Class was over a lot sooner than I thought it would be. The bell rang and everyone scurried out of the class to head home. It was like this every Friday. I walked to my locker and waited for Sam. I knew it would be a few minutes before Sam got to my locker to meet me, so I put my stuff I didn't need for the weekend in my locker and fixed my half-fallen-down hair. I watched as the students left the building quickly. I knew by the time Sam got to me there would no one there besides the kids who had detention.

Then I saw her. Her blonde hair gently bounced as she walked, her blue eyes were fixated on me, and her smile was enough to knock anyone with a brain off their feet. She told me that she only smiles when I'm around and that everyone else she normally just reveals no expression.

"Hey, Sam!" I said excitedly. I threw open my arms to hug her. She looked at me and gave a short laugh.

"Hey, Carly. What's up with you?" She smiled, noting my amazing mood.

"Nothing. Just in a good mood." I said. I was being mostly honest. I was in a good mood because of what I was about to say to Sam.

"Well, that makes both of us then." Sam smiled to me. We pulled back from our hug. As we were parting, my hands slid down her arms and landed in her hands. Although we didn't know it, Miranda was standing around the corner down the hall listening to us and watching us, but we didn't see her.

"Sam?" I started. "When we talked about me experimenting to see what my sexuality was… and you said you would help me figure it out, did you mean that in the sense there could be an us?" I said. Sam stood there for a second, soaking up what I had just said.

"Like, us dating? Is that what you're asking me?" She said.

"Yeah… like me and you." I smiled warmly, as always. I stepped about three inches closer to her.

"Dating?" Miranda whispered to herself. She put her phone on silent so she wouldn't alert us of her presence. She turned the camera on her phone and aimed it at us and took a picture of us holding hands.

"Do you want to start dating me, Carly?" Sam asked me, making sure of what I was saying. My smile perked up as big as it could possibly be.

"Yes, I do." Sam's eyes had light pouring out of them and a smile that stretched from ear to ear. I stepped closer to her again. Slowly, I leaned in and our lips touched.

"Oh my god." Miranda whispered again. She took another picture of us kissing. "Our squad leader is a lesbian."

"Hey, Miranda." Miranda threw her hand over Autumn's mouth and pointed around the corner of us. Autumn's jaw dropped. Miranda showed her the picture on her phone.

"I'm forwarding this to every person that matters." She said, quickly sending a picture message with that picture and our names to every person in her phone that went to the school.

"I love you, Sam." I said. I pulled away from the kiss just before I said that. Then we started Eskimo kisses. It was so sweet.

"I love you, too, Carls." She pop kissed me one more time. "I have to get into detention though. I'll come over when I get out."

"I'll be waiting." One more kiss and she walked into her classroom. I closed my locker and left to go home. Autumn and Miranda looked at each other with a half disgusted, half shocked look.

AN – Okay, so now the story should actually get interesting. I'm getting more story alerts, author alerts, and favorite story book marks than reviews.. which is making me sad : ( soo, if you guys want me to write more quickly so you won't be in such suspense.. I write more quickly with the motivation of reviews.. otherwise I just think you guys don't like it… which makes me sad. : ( but thank you to the ones that have left reviews : )