iCan Cope

Chapter 6
iAm Freaking Out

I was lying on my couch whenever Sam came over from detention. I was watching a random movie on tv when she came in.

"Hey, you. I made you a ham sandwich. It's in the fridge." I said. She leaned over the couch and kissed my forehead.

"Thank you, sweetie." She retrieved her sandwich and claimed a spot on the couch where my head was. When she was situated, I laid my head on her leg. "What'cha watching?"

"I don't know. Some random movie I just turned it to. I was waiting for you to get here before I watched anything worth watching." I nuzzled my head against her stomach. She gave me a sweet grin. It didn't take her two minutes before her sandwich was gone. She sat her plate down on the coffee table and then propped her feet up next to it.

"So, I'm here now. What are we watching?" She asked. She ran her fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes in enjoyment.

"I wanna watch something scary." I said very mellow-voiced.

"Sounds good to me. What kind of scary movies do you have?" She asked, trying to see the movies on the table without moving.

"Have you seen any of the Saw series?" I asked her.

"Hmm, I've seen the first one. I haven't seen the others." Sam said. "I'm up for watching the second one."

"Yeah, ditto. I haven't seen it either. Can you put it in? I'm really comfortable." I said.

"But, you're comfortable on me… so either way you're going to lose your position." Sam wittily said.

"Not true. See, I can be comfortable anywhere on you." Sam knew she couldn't beat that comment so she just grinned and leaned forward to grab the movie and put it in the DVD player. It was sunset outside, nearly completely dark. I didn't have any of the lights on in my apartment, so darkness overtook my apartment in roughly a half an hour.

The movie started off a little spooky. Throughout different parts I found myself clutching Sam's leg, until we finally changed positions so we would be cuddling and my head carefully lay on her chest. I actually managed to pay attention to the full movie, drifting off in only few parts. I'm not sure if Sam was paying more attention to me or the movie though… I seemed to have caught more things than she did. It's strange though, during the few parts where I drifted off, I got to thinking about why I started dating Sam. I think it was more than me just wanting to experiment; truthfully, I think I already knew and I didn't need Sam to tell me or make me feel otherwise. Of course, I think I still like the idea of… experimenting.

When the movie ended, Sam's arm was casually wrapped around my waist. I couldn't remember how long it had been there, Sam had sneakily crept it around my waist when I wasn't paying attention. It was really comfortable just sitting there with her especially while watching a scary movie.

"That was a good movie." Sam said, refusing to let go of my waist. I wasn't in argument with her statement or refusal of action.

"Yeah, it was." I carefully nuzzled my nose into her neck. I could feel her smiling.

"So, now what do you want to do?" She loosened her grip around my waist a little. I slightly shrugged my shoulders and mumbled an 'I dunno'. My cell phone was on the table when it started to vibrate to alert me of a new text message. It was from Jayla.

'Carly… theres a txt msg going around skool saying ur a lezbo. Look at the pic thats goin around.' Jayla's text message read. Then I got a picture in my inbox… someone had seen Sam and I kiss.

"Oh, no." I said. I looked up at Sam who hadn't read the text or seen the picture.

"What?" Sam asked with a slightly worried look on her face.

"Someone saw us kiss." I showed her the picture. Sam's eyes got a little wide for a few seconds.

"Who saw us?" Sam asked.

"I don't know." I started to text Jayla back.

'Jayla, who saw us? Do u know?' I texted to her.

'idk, im tryin 2 find out rite now.. ill let u kno when i find something out..' she said.

'thanx.' I replied back to her.

"Good grief. Word travels really fast at that school." Sam shook her head disappointedly.

"You aren't kidding. Sam, what are we gonna do?" I looked at her worried. I had never actually planned to come out of the closet if I ever figured out if I was gay or not. I didn't want to lose my friends, my reputation, or my leadership on the squad. I wasn't sure which thing I was worried about more though, because now I have Sam to lose as well as everything else.

"Well, to be perfectly honest… I'm tired of being in the closet. I don't know how you feel about that, but-"

"Sam… I don't want my reputation to be ruined. I've worked so hard for everything I have." I almost wanted to cry, but realized that I couldn't.

"Well, what do you want to do?" Sam asked. She wasn't sure of what to say, I could tell. I had a feeling Sam would go along with whatever I wanted her to, but only as long as she still had the right to call me her best friend and/or her girlfriend. But with all honesty, I had no idea what I was going to say to answer her question.

"I don't know. I don't want my reputation ruined… but I also don't want to lose you in any way." That was I could manage to say. She put her hands on my shoulders and made me take a deep breath.

"Don't worry about what they say. We can do this." Sam said calmly. Normally, I probably would have guessed that Sam would have freaked out and threatened to beat the senses out of whoever started this, okay, maybe not threatened. She would have actually beaten the senses out of whoever started this.

"You aren't mad?" I asked. I was still amazed that she hadn't even started making threats yet. I think her protective or violent side, whichever, kind of gave me a little sense of comfort, although I'm not entirely sure why. Even though I was worried about losing my leadership on my squad and losing the title of the most popular girl in school, somehow that was slowly not seeming to matter as much when I thought about Sam. I wondered if I would still feel the same way whenever Monday rolled around and I had to face everyone at school.

Sam and I went upstairs to my room and lay down together on my bed for about an hour while waiting for Jayla to get back to me with the info on who this troublemaker was. As the anticipation started getting to us, I got a text message from Jayla.

'Carly i kno who did this…' the text read.

'who?' I texted back.

'Miranda n Autumn.' I dropped my phone and looked at Sam. The funny thing… I didn't even have to tell Sam who it was… she already knew.

AN – Yeah, so I think either is dumb or my e-mail is one… I didn't get any of the reviews to my e-mail like normal.. haha.. I just happened to click on them in live preview.. but yay! Thanks guys : ) (even the ones of you who don't primarily speak English.. it makes me happy that you still read!) Sorry it took so long for the update! I'm been super ADD for the last week… but I hope this will make you guys happy : )