Chapter 6
She stepped onto the stage and immediately her eyes found blue. And even though the crowd was going crazy all Haley heard was silence and all she saw the eyes of the one she loved.
The second she stepped onto the stage he felt her presence closing in on him. He was suffocating gasping for air, the heat in the club was rising like a fire engulfing him, the noise of the crowd along with the thump of his heart was booming. He vaguely registered the sound of the music starting and the sound of her voice. He didn't want to hear it. Yet the brown of her eyes was still burning right through his own eyes into the depths of his soul.
He had to get out of there, away from her.
Bile was rising in his throat, threatening to escape. Swallowing, he scorched his throat. Frantically he spun searching for the nearest exit. He found it. The door was over by the bar. Focussing on nothing but the door, he ran for it desperately. Not caring that he was knocking into people on both sides, drinks spilling all over him he barraged to the door.
Once he had blown open the door, he stumbled to the stone wall on the outside of Tric. Collapsing against the wall with his hand clenched into the wall for support. His head fell to lean against the wall also.
His mind couldn't comprehend anything that he had just seen, it had really been Haley.
He retched, once, twice. Finally escaping the vomit coated the ground next to his shoes, he heaved again, throwing up for a second time. Physically his body was completely empty, yet he still felt sick.
Drawing his fist back above his head he blindly slammed it into the red brick hearing the skin tear and bone smack as he struck the wall with all the force he could muster. Throbbing, burning pain shot through his hand as the blood began to freely run from his cut up knuckles, it blocked the pain in his heart and the sick in his stomach though. Feeling his legs buckle underneath him he fell to his knees, not caring about the blood and vomit mixing right below him.
Soon though there was more than just vomit and blood, for mixed in with them were his tears.
Tric was going insane. As far as Ollie knew nothing this exciting had happened in Tree Hill since, well ever. Obviously she didn't know much about everything that had gone down when her dad was a teenager. Searching through the crowd she finally spotted Jess dancing with some friends and ran over to her.
"You were awesome", Jess shrieked, grabbing Ollie's hand and pulling her into the group to dance with them. Haley had begun to perform and for the second time that night Ollie let the music take over her body, and had the time of her life dancing with her friends and listening to her musical hero sing.
Secret heart
What are you made of
What are you so afraid of
Could it be
Three simple words
Or the fear of being overheard
What's wrong
Let her in on your secret heart
"This sucks" Luke said unemotionally to no-one in particular not realising Ephraim was standing next to him.
"Huh?" Ephraim asked wondering what exactly was so bad about the night, that to him seemed awesome.
"Oh Ephraim, ah nothing."
"Umm, OK ," Ephraim gave him a strange look. "I'm gonna go find Ollie then."
Luke nodded momentarily glancing at the boy, knowing he must seem strange to Ephraim, before darting his eyes back to the stage where the woman he had once called his best friend sang.
The only way Luke could think of to describe the way he felt was confused. On the one hand he was still angry and hurt that she had left without a word and given no contact for 15 years, abandoning his brother and niece. Abandoning him, her best friend. However on the other hand, he had missed her more than he had ever told anyone. Anger was one word to describe how he felt when she left but he knew Haley better than anyone so he also knew that there was no way she would leave without a reason. He just had no idea what it was and even though his brother would never admit it, Nathan still loved her and for him to be truly happy, he needed her.
Still, the only reaction Luke had, was to stare emotionlessly at the stage.
Secret Heart
Why so mysterious
Why so sacred
Why so serious
Maybe you're
Just acting tough
Maybe you're just not bad enough
What's wrong
Let her in on your secret heart
Peyton felt as if a huge weight had been lifted the second Haley had entered the stage. Keeping the fact that, just one month ago she had come in contact with her niece's mother, from everyone she loved had been difficult for her. Her brief conversation with Haley over the phone organising the gig, hadn't exactly been friendly, sure it was civil but Peyton hadn't tried in any way to be welcoming. She always knew that Haley would come back to Tree Hill eventually, but couldn't help wanting the inevitable to be prolonged.
But, now Haley was here, and while the performance was amazing and great for the clubs media and income, Peyton couldn't help but fear how broken, the return of her old friend was going to leave her family. It was going to be a long time before everything became right again, she just knew it.
This very secret
That you're trying to conceal
Is the very same one
You're dying to reveal
Go tell her how you feel
Secret heart come out and share it
This loneliness, few can bear it
Could it have something to do with
Admitting that you just can't go through it alone
Let her in on your secret heart
Haley looked out over the once familiar club. The club where she had first been discovered and now, the club where she was going to hopefully fall off the music world's radar. From her position on stage she could see nearly the whole club.
Her eyes were currently watching her daughter who was with a group of friends laughing and dancing. Haley noticed how happy she looked, while the smile on her daughters face was one of the best things she had ever seen, in a selfish way it made her feel sad. It reminded her of all the smiles she had missed. She had known that Nathan would be a good father and that her daughter would always be loved, that hadn't made leaving or seeing her now any easier or less painful.
Next, she saw Lucas looking up at her. His gaze was unreadable; she couldn't tell if it was angry or forgiving. She smiled through her song directly down at him making sure he saw her pointing her smile at him. The corner of his mouth twitched upwards, the slightest bit so she hardly saw it, but still enough for her to know that deep down he still thought of her as a friend in some small way. That alone made her feel so much better, to know not all of her ties here were completely broken forever as she feared would be the case with Olivia and Nathan.
The blonde curly head of Peyton then caught her eye. She knew her old friend had a huge problem with people leaving, and Haley could tell from their brief phone call that Peyton wasn't entirely thrilled at her return. Haley also knew Peyton tended to have a soft spot for those that come back.
Knowing the song was coming to a close, her eyes searched for the one person she had lost in the crowd as her song had started.
This very secret
That you're trying to conceal
Is the very same one
That you're dying to reveal
Go tell her how you feel
This very secret
Go out and share it
This very secret
But Haley James couldn't find Nathan Scott anywhere.
He could see it. It was getting closer and closer. With stumbling steps he approached the place that would make all this go away. Finally opening the door, a burst of heat blew into him from the warm shop compared to the cold night outside. At the counter he grunted, clearing his throat.
"Bourbon". He spat to the alcohol shop owner.
He paid as the shop keeper place the bottle in front of him. Snatching it up, he had opened it before he had even exited the shop.
The bottles rim felt like heaven against his lips, as did the liquid against his throat. Every part of his body numbed, the pain in his knuckles eased, his head stopped throbbing and even through his throat still burned, it definitely wasn't from retching.
Nathan didn't send one thought toward his daughter who had no idea that her mother had just returned to her life, or to his brother whose best friend had come back after 15 years.
All he could think about was making sure the bourbon made its way from the bottle to his mouth.
A/N: The song Haley is singing is Feist - Secret Heart