Chapter 2

"Are we there yet??"

It was a whole half hour before Goku finally mustered enough courage to voice the thought that had been haunting him the past hour. He knew he was taking a risk though. On bad days, Sanzo's temper wouldn't have been sufficiently cooled down and the harisan would come hurtling down at 60 miles an hour on his head.

"Shut up."

Well, that wasn't too bad….

"But I'm….."

"Just another 15 minutes to go before we reach the next town, Goku," Hakkai quickly butted in, sensing Sanzo's darkening expression. He shot Goku a warning look through the rear view mirror. Amusing as it was, it certainly wouldn't do for another blow-up to occur so soon after the previous one. These kinda things weren't too good on one's already nearly-frayed nerves. Oh, who was he kidding… he just wasn't that keen on handling corpses. Thank God Gojyo wasn't in on this exchange of words, he had this strange tendency of making situations worse. Much worse.

"Yo, ugly monk… why don't you lighten up a little?"

Then again… maybe he spoke too soon. In his entire existence, he had never known Gojyo's blabbering mouth to pass up any opportunity to poke fun at Sanzo. "Learn to relax… like me."

Sanzo observed Gojyo's sprawled-out form and dangling limbs with unconcealed disgust. "Please. I would never degrade myself to the same level as a pathetic ero-kappa like you."

"WHY YOU……!!"

Click of the gun.

Hakkai heaved a huge sigh. And here they go again. It was gonna be a long day.

Sanzo settled himself comfortably in the armchair, armed with his reading glasses, a steaming cup of thick, black coffee and today's newspapers clutched safely under his arm. Hakkai's '15 minutes' to the town had turned out to be a remarkable 3 hours and it was late afternoon when they finally pulled up in front of a gaudy-looking inn with a rainbow-colored roof and gaily-decorated curtains. Sanzo had hesitated a full ten seconds, frowning with disapproval upon the building before deciding he wasn't going to circle the entire town in search of another inn. And now he could finally enjoy a quiet afternoon with the three idiots absent. Hakkai had ventured out on his standard shopping trip as usual, with Goku and Gojyo tagging along after having been promised food and beer respectively. Come to think of it, that was rather tactful of Hakkai, knowing that Sanzo would appreciate a little alone time after being trapped in the jeep with Goku and Gojyo for hours on end. Mentally apologizing to Hakkai for classifying with the other two real idiots, he shook out the newspaper edition and was soon engrossed in an article of interest.

The sun blazed down mercilessly and Hakkai found himself wondering for the 56th time if it was possible to skip the rest of his shopping and sneak into a cozy little café for an icy cold drink or two instead. He lifted his now drenched sleeve to mop his brow once again before the perspiration dripped into his eyes and absent-mindedly wondered where Gojyo and Goku had wandered off to. Evidently, they had grown bored and even the reward of food and beer had lost their attractiveness under the scorching heat of the sun. Contemplating seeking out shelter as well, Hakkai promptly brushed the thought aside. Being the responsible person he was, he just couldn't bear the thought of leaving his duties unfinished. And there was also the thought of Sanzo's scary response if he returned without his craved Marlboro cigarettes. Oh well. Hakkai smiled resignedly to himself and plodded on.

An hour later saw him at the doorstep of Sanzo's room. Which was also HIS room, for that matter. "I'm back!" Hakkai's placid voice sounded a little strained as he gingerly knocked on the closed door. His shopping had been exhausting, what with the scorching hot weather and having to deal with the two noisy brats constantly at loggerheads. A lesser man would have thrown down everything in frustration, broken down in huge wails and sobs and jumped off the cliff never to be seen again. But at least he was back under the shelter of the roof once again, able to look forward to a quiet restful evening with the silent Sanzo.

"My cigarettes." It was more of a statement than a question. Hakkai rummaged through his numerous shopping bags, his hand delving into one bag after another and his mind registering panic as the damned item failed to show up. It HAS got to be here somewhere!! I distinctly remember purchasing it at the tobacco shop. Why, I even remember the girl behind the counter flirting and batting her lashes at me… whoops, I seem to going off topic...ahaha. He lifted his head very very cautiously and was not the least surprised to see Sanzo turning redder and redder. "Ahahaha….I.. uhh… seemed to have misplaced your cigarettes somewhere, Sanzo." And before Sanzo could fire a second shot at him, he was out of the door and rushing for the shop at top speed, ignoring the screeches of a cat whose tail he had very imprudently trodden on and the curses of a very disgruntled elderly man he had elbowed to one side in his haste. Very un-Hakkaish-like, one has to admit. But then again, a murderous Sanzo could very well drive even the sanest person on earth to the brink of insanity. So much for a quiet afternoon. Sigh.

It was fast approaching dusk when Hakkai finally walked through the inn's front entrance again, this time with the cigarettes clutched tightly in his fist. Fully expecting the others to be guzzling away like there's no tomorrow at the restaurant, he headed towards the back of the inn and was rewarded with two very familiar voices yelling at the top of their voices over something that sounded vaguely like "porc bunn" and "sprung rull". Then there came the usual sound plates shattering and more furious howls. But wait a minute, there's definitely something amiss here. Where were those inevitable death threats and gunshots? Their absence could only mean 2 things; One: Sanzo had suddenly turned over a new leaf and had sworn off cursing and murdering for good, and Two: he had gone to bed. Hakkai laughed inwardly at the first. What a thought.

"Yo, Hakkai! Over here!" Even Goku with his fist cocked ready paused mid-swing to greet Hakkai with one of his ever ready grins. And then the fist came crashing down squarely on Gojyo's unprepared head.

"OWW! YOU STUPID MONKEY!!"

"Who are you calling a monkey, you PERVERTED COCKROACH!"

"Why you…. Take that!! AND THAT!!"

"OWWWW! OWWW….Stop it! You Ero-kappa!! Owww….Hakkai, help!!!"

"Maa…maa…," laughed Hakka as he settled down into one of the empty chairs. "You don't want everyone in the restaurant staring at us now, do you?" After he had dispatched a messenger boy to Sanzo's room with strict instructions to "very carefully slip the packet of cigarettes under the door without making the slightest sound unless you want your head shot at", Hakkai proceeded with his dinner in the company of his two friends. "I assume Sanzo complained of a headache and locked himself in his room as usual?"

"Just throw in a couple of gunshots and a few of those fan-whacks and you've got it right. Good riddance to him anyway. As if anyone wants to see that surly face of his right through dinner. Makes one lose their appetite, I'll say."

"Hey, that's not very nice you pervy cockroach! Sanzo's just tired from all that traveling today!"

"Oh yeah? Then why do we have Hakkai here looking as chirpy as a sparrow after all that driving?"

"That's because it's Hakkai, you numbskull!"

"…………what the hell does that have to with it?!?!"

Hakkai chuckled to himself, looking up just in time to dodge a piece of crockery which had been mis-thrown in his general direction. Dinner was always entertaining with those two around.