Chapter Ten
Love is weird
-
-
"I'm being stupid." Mikan thought momentarily. Maybe it'll rain tonight. Gazing at the sky, she was filled with a longing to escape from her problems and to stop meddling into someone else's businesses to fly away high above the thick clouds into the rarified atmosphere where the sun shone all day and to go to a small, white island where the sea was a placid vivid blue, where the mountains glowed purple against a serene sky, a magic faraway place such as she had often seen pictured in travel brochures.
"What should I do?" Mikan's high, light voice had a curious steel-like quality like a dentist's probe searching for an exposed nerve. Her bright eyes were watching for the clouds.
She stood up, thinking of roaming the school 'til she gets tired... It was better than staying outside of Nasume's room. Before she turns around, a familiar voice called, startling her.
"Hey."
Quickly, she whirled her head to look at Ruka. "Ruka-pyon! You… scared me to death!"
He gave her a friendly smile before approaching her. "May I join you?"
Mikan returned the smile and nodded. "Sure."
No one utter any words after that. They were both lost into their own world. However, Ruka sighed and think for something to say.
"How's Natsume? I heard only her partner and teachers are the only ones who can visit him?" he asked quietly, observing her every moment.
The small girl looked down immediately, hiding her pained expression. "You can also visit him. He…he didn't want anybody inside his room. He said…he wanted to be alone."
Ruka shook his head slowly, eyes focused on her. He gently paced his right hand over her small shoulders. "And that's the reason why you were upset?"
"I…" Mikan gulped, and then turned her head to look at him again. "…it's not… I'm… I'm not upset! Where's your bunny, by the way?"
"I left it inside my room." He smiled. Seconds later, an idea popped out on his head. "What about an ice cream?"
-
-
-
They watched people minding their own businesses silently. They sat one of the benches there a while ago.
"I'm glad you bought me an ice cream." Mikan started, staring at the strawberry-flavored ice cream. "It's just disappointing that fluff puff was sold out."
"Yeah." Ruka agreed. He looked at her without moving his head. Should he ask her what's bugging on his mind these days? Is this the right time? But everyone knows that they're just good friends and nothing more. Nothing more. He sighed. This didn't go unnoticed by Mikan.
Without saying something, she gently pt her right palm over his forehead. "Are you sick, Ruka-pyon?"
Ruka's faced flushed, trying to hide it. "No…n-no. I'm not. Why do you ask?"
She dropped her hand then sit up straight before answering, "Well…it just seems that you have trouble. You can tell it to me, you know."
He chuckled nervously. So, this is it? This is really is it? He looked at Mikan seriously then sighed again. "M-Mikan, I… I wanna ask you something, if you don't mind."
"Of course I don't mind." She smiled but getting curious at the same time. "What is it?"
Ruka fell silent for a moment. Okay. This is now or never. "D-Do you like Natsume?"
-
-
Narumi knocked at the door for the eighteenth time. "Natsume-kun! My hands are hurting already. I'll enter now whether you like it or not!"
No response.
"I got teddy bear here! Oh wow, they're so huggable!"
No response.
"You wanna watch Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix? It's on T.V. right now! hah! I know you'd love it!"
No response.
He's getting impatient now, really. "I'll never give up!" he declared to himself.
"Hm. I stole one of the polka-dotted panties of Mikan! Look!"
Inside, Natsume frowned as a vein popped o his head. But then again, he didn't response.
Narumi scratched the back of his head. What else can he offer? "Hey!"
No response.
"Sweetie Cotton candy, you like some?"
"Delicious-licious Chocolate cake?"
"…"
"Yummy, mummy, dummy Ice drop?"
"…"
"Hmp! I've no choice!" Narumi entered his room at last. "Natsume-kun?" he called out loud when he saw Natsume sitting peacefully on his bed, reading his manga.
He sweat dropped. Of all the things he has said, he just stayed in that position? What a psycho!
"Leave me alone." Natsume muttered in an ungrateful manner.
"But—"
"Leave."
"I've got—"
"Leave."
"You have—"
"LEAVE."
"Come on—"
"LEAVE…NOW."
"Just let me finish my—"
"Leave or I'll rip your big sweetie, delicious-licious, yummy, mummy, dummy mouth."
Narumi was about to say something but someone's voice stopped him from doing so.
"Ehem." Hotaru appeared suddenly, catching their attention. She glared at them before asking, "Where's Mikan, Narumi-sensei?"
Natsume frowned at this. The idiot said a while ago that she'll not leave 'til he let her in. He didn't know that she left. That Idiooooot.
"Annoying." He whispered under his breath. He glanced at Narumi who just giggled like a high school student.
"Oh, Hotaru-chan? Mikan told me a while ago that Ruka invited her to Central town. Eeh… don't you think they're cute together?" Narumi exclaimed as he clasped his hands, eyes glimmering like a mad man.
Hotaru smirked at this and looked at Natsume who gave her a glare in return.
"Yeah, I think so." Natsume muttered in very low voice.
-
-
"What?"
"Do you…really like Natsume?" Ruka asked softly as he tried to flash her genuine smile but he knew that she knew that he's not totally happy.
'Do I like him?'
Of course you like him, baka. A tiny voice said, startling her.
But Mikan, however, managed to smile back. "Why are you asking me that, ne, Ruka-pyon?"
Ruka shook, lowering his head…"I just wanna find out."
"Well." Mikan started, "Yes, I like him, of course. We all know that even though he's arrogant, he actually cared for his friends more than he cared for himself, right? That he doesn't give a damn into what the others think about him. But sometimes, I sill hate him. I hate him for being a scandalous jerk and so on and so forth." She smiled.
Ruka nodded, "I see. Is there any possibility that you'll like him more than just a friend?"
Mikan caught off guard by this then looked at him. "Why are you a-asking these questions?"
"…"
"Ruka-pyon?"
"…"
SILENCE
For one hundredth time, Ruka sighed. "What'll you do if I tell you that…"
"That?" she waited patiently, feeling nervous.
"…that I'm interested in y-you?" he finished in a low voice.
"Ruka—"
"Would you hate me?"
"Wha—"
"Would YOU hate me?" he repeated.
Mikan shook her head slowly, "I won't." she smiled. "I won't hate you. Never."
He looked at her in confusion. "Are you sure?"
"But of course!" Mikan exclaimed. "Why would I hate my friend?"
"What I wanna know is…" he paused. "…would you give me a chance to make you happy?"
Mikan blinked in surprise. She's blushing madly at this moment. She'll admit that she has some feelings for him too but she knew very well that she doesn't see Ruka in that way. Maybe crush, yeah. But she's not sure if it's love actually. Then, suddenly an image of a young raven-haired man appeared on her mind.
Why am I feeling like this?
She looked at Ruka who was still silent, waiting for her answer. What now?
"U-Uhmm… Ruka-pyon, could you give me some time?" she asked quietly, not meeting his blue eyes.
"I'll not rush you, Mikan, but I'll wait."
-
-
Taking off her coat in her small living room, she went through the kitchenette, poured some milk into glass, grabbed a handful of biscuits from a tin and drifted back to her living room. She knew she should prepare a proper meal for herself, but somehow, she felt like she wasn't hungry at all.
She switched on the TV set. She smiled when she remembered Hotaru giving her this tv set on her last birthday. Hotaru actually made it herself which made it more important to her. She gave her a blouse in return.
A familiar face appeared — a news reader. The sound was turned down for a few moments she watched the face mouthing unheard words. Rain lashed suddenly at the windows and the dreary dimness of the room crept on her. Quickly, she turned off the TV and went from the room, switching on the lights as she went, not wanting to be in the gloaming.
In the bedroom a rosy-shaded lamp showed her the reflection of a small young girl of about fifteen with long hair sweeping across her forehead.
What's gotten into Ruka?
What's gotten into her?
-
-
Knock. Knock.
"Who's that?"
"Ruka."
"Come in, Ruka." Natsume's voice filled the room. He observed his best friend's actions as he sat down beside his bed. "How are you?"
Ruka smiled. "That's my line. But I'm fine. How's your condition?"
"I'm not sick." Natsume answered, sniffing.
'You got cold?" Ruka asked, observing his friend.
"Feh." Natsume grunted then smirked. "Heard you and Polka went on a date."
"A date, huh?" Ruka muttered quietly, "I told her I like her, Natsume."
Natsume's eyes widen for a moment but after a few seconds, his face became blank like it used to be. "What did she say? I'm sure she jumped in joy because it's a miracle that someone would actually like an annoying girl like her."
Ruka's smile disappeared. "Admit that you like her too, Natsume."
"What?"
"I can see it from your eyes. You like her." Ruka continued. "Be a man and tell it to her."
"What's the point?" Natsume shot back. "You two were perfect for each other."
"…"
Ruka stood up suddenly, "You know what? You shouldn't sacrifice your own happiness in order to protect those people who were important to you, Natsume." he said in a low voice, then stormed out of the room.
-
-
-
Mikan blinked when she saw Ruka walking out of Natsume's room, leaving the door wide open. She can tell that Ruka was upset because of something. The Ruka she knew never leave the doors open, and he's not smiling like he always do, but frowning.
Did the two of them have a fight? She thought cautiously then proceeds to enter the room. She did not bother to knock, waste of energy, she smiled.
When she saw Natsume who just stood up and opened the window, her smile automatically widens. "Hey, Natume!"
Natsume, who is the handsomest, greatest, prettiest, brightest, cutest, quietest, saddest, and everything, was unbelievably, sulking, turned to her sharply. He was not saying any words yet she knew he's totally mad. "What? Don't you know how to knock?" he asked in a powerful voice.
Mikan looked at him weirdly, "What are you saying? I did knock!" She lied.
"You're bad at lying, boring girl." He exclaimed. "Knocking is you knock and wait for the response, got it?" He even demonstrated it in front of her to add more effect.
Mikan sighed dramatically then paused, "You just come in even I say 'don't come in.'" and went out of the room, closing the door with a loud bang.
'He's so impossible!'
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
"Come in." Natsume answered, amused. "What's up?"
Mikan scowled at this and proceeded to give him a glass of juice. "I used to drink this when I got a cold. It really works great. I even made that for Hotaru when she got cold last week."
Natsume looked at the glass doubtfully. "Why so kind all of the sudden?"
Mikan gave him a peace sign. "We're partners, remember? Partners always help each other!"
"Whatever." He rolled his eyes upward before drinking.
She chuckled. "That's an egg-liquor. Trust me and drink up. Don't leave a drop."
He nodded. "But, doesn't it mean trust you means not to trust you?"
"Oww…you jerk. How doubtful are you…" she said with a smile. "So, how's it? Good? Good?"
"Aa."
"I'll make you more just tell me, sir." She informed.
SILENCE
"Did you have an argument with Ruka-pyon?" she asked, trying to sound bright.
"Why would I tell you?" he snapped.
Mikan glared at him; maybe he didn't really want to talk about it. What can she do? She put her fingers into her chin, faking a thought.
"Natsume, I heard the teachers talking about you last time." she started. "Talking about your last mission…"
Natsume stiffened.
"…about what happened and who attacked you." she continued.
"Why don't you stop meddling into someone else's business?" he snapped, avoiding her eyes.
"It's my business too! Not only because you're my partner. But it's also my business because Reo's organization's after me as well! They're after us, right?" she muttered, eyes focused on Natsume.
Finally, he looked up. His face was still emotionless. "SO, you're eavesdropping now?"
"Wha—"
"I did not tell all of you what happened back there, so you guys won't worry. Especially you…"
"…Mikan."
Mikan's eyes widen. He called her Mikan? Her real name? Not Polka? Not boring girl? Not annoying girl? That's news! She was actually about to laugh but she remembered their topic which wasn't really fun at all. She should be so damn serious. "But…you should tell me about it so I can prepare myself. So I can protect myself."
"Exactly."
"Huh?"
"Damn it to hell." He cursed under his breathe, frightening her.
"You still don't get it, do you? I need to keep it to myself because I can manage to protect you myself."
Mikan blinked in confusion. "Well, I'm grateful to have you as a friend, Natsume. But my point is, it'd be better if all of us will help each other to destroy that Anti-Alice Organization."
Natsume sighed in defeat. "Then tell it to everybody. Suit yourself."
"What's the matter with you?" She asked with gritted teeth. "You're becoming more hot-tempered."
"I don't care."
"Ugh. You're so stubborn!" She stomped her feet on the ground. "Will you just stop being childish already?!"
"I'm not being childish here! You are!" he retorted.
"You—"
"You are!" she interrupted him, breathless with anger. She wasn't aware that they're very close now. That their noses were almost touching.
But Natsume was aware of that fact. His gaze thinned, paled with predatory gleam. Suddenly, without even thinking, without even a warning, without anything, he grabbed her nape, pushed it slightly forward to capture her lips into a kiss.
Time stood still. She was momentarily stunned. Mikan's eyes grew wider, if it's possible. Natsume's kissing her! Right now! His eyes closed. She tried not to whimper in pleasure when Natsume nibbled her lips, gently sucking her lower lip, urging her to open her mouth. He lowered his hand and placed it on her waist, still kissing her.
Unconsciously, she put her arms on top of his shoulders and returned the kiss shyly. When the two of them felt like they needed some air, they broke apart. She panted, dropping her hands to her side.
'It's damn embarrassing!' she thought cautiously.
As she was about to turn around, Natsume held her chin upward to meet his gaze.
"You." he whispered huskily, staring intently at her.
They stayed in that position for a moment. The next movement he did was very erotic. His lips were touching hers yet he still wasn't kissing her. Both eyes were closed. She was surprised when she felt warmth. Moments after, her lips softened beneath his. When he thrust his tongue inside her mouth, she met it with the equal hunger. She should push him for kissing her but she can't.
No one knows why.
-
Mikan opened her eyes slowly, lifting her head up. She looked at her surroundings. She glanced at her wristwatch which reads eleven-thirty in the evening. She straightened up and saw no one lying on the bed.
Her cheeks flushed as she remembered what had happened—
Wait.
Was it real?
Or a dream?
"Finally." Natsume's voice exclaimed at the back, startling her. He came inside the bathroom, that's what she observed. He was still wearing the white gowns of the patients. And he was definitely bored.
"You've fallen asleep a while ago," he informed effortlessly, making his way to his bed. "Have you had enough, princess?" he asked with a hint of mockery.
Mikan looked down, feeling very ashamed of her dream. What kind of a girl is she? Dreaming about some guy kissing her? What was that? "I…I'm sorry."
"Hn."
Mikan can hold on any longer, she stood up and fixed herself. Her heart was beating fast, so fast that it almost hurt her ears. "I think… I should go now."
Natsume didn't say any word and stared at her silently. She can't say whether he's bored or something since his eyes were blank. As always.
"Take care of yourself for now, Natsume."
"Aa. Likewise. You might end up crying because of your stupidity." He said in a grim voice.
"Yeah, I think you're right." And with that, she made her way outside his room without looking back.
Yes. It's only a dream.
A wonderful yet embarrassing dream it is.
-
-
-
A/N: I sucked big time, yeah. It's just that I'm not good when it comes to kissy-kissy moment. You know, I'm just a beginner here so, forgive me! Kissing scenes, for me, was hard to describe! Haha… For the wrong grammar, I am sorry, peepz! I'm not that good. In my opinion: this will be 20 chapters. Maybe 15, I guess.
Though it's kinda late, I still wanna greet you.
"Merry New Year!!!"