A/N: Okay. So Firstly, We would like to thank all those who reviewed...it means a lot. :-) We are going to try and update this story at least once a week. But that isn't a promise, because sometimes life gets in the way...you all know how it is. Also, writers block seems to be a very contagious disease. If you have this, then we hope you get better soon. Well...this chapter is rather...dramatic in the MerDer compartment. We hope that you enjoy it as much as we enjoy writing it (most of the time...xD) Please R&R...It gives us the inspiration to go on in these long, life-filled days. So...more reviews (equals) more story...now wouldnt you all love that?! lol... Okay...enough rambling...

Disclaimer: If we owned Grey's Anatomy, We would have more regular updates coz we'd have 20 writers at our fingertips, giving us their ideas. Sadly this is Shonda's world and we don't live in it.

Chapter 2: Don't Gimme That

He looked at Addison, a little smile playing on his lips. He then turned around to face Meredith, his eyes filled with tears.

That's what you could call his first mistake. Of course it wasn't his first, he knew that. He had done so much more to her than... this. But it was the first mistake he made this evening. He chose to stay with Addison, to leave the one he loved behind... heartbroken.

"Meredith I'm so sorry. I just... I need to know if there's something left to save. She's my wife."

Tears were forming in the corners of her eyes, but she was strong enough to hold them back. He always love this about her, she was such a small person yet so strong.

"I'll always love you Meredith."

At those words her sorrow turned into anger. He was dumping her, and at the same time telling her how much he loved her! He wasn't making this any easier...

"Thanks for giving us another chance." Addison smiled as they walked over to Derek's car.

"Yeah. Whatever." he shrugged completely ignoring her; staring after Meredith, or rather... her retreating car.

"I know this won't be easy, but Derek, we have to try. Remember our vows? We promised it, we'd always be there for each other." she sighed getting into the passenger's seat. Derek silently got into the driver's seat; the rest of the ride wasn't any more pleasant. He kept thinking about her, and though he knew he did the right thing, it still didn't feel right. Addison kept stealing long glances at him, making him feel even more awkward. Here he was in the same car as the woman he had once thought of as the love of his life, and yet now, his heart belonged to someone else. No. he couldn't think of that. Of her. He had to try and save whatever small amount of his marriage he had left. He couldn't just let it go. He had to try it out. Test drive it. If he didn't test drive it, how would he know whether it was good or bad. He had spent 11 Christmases, 11 birthdays and 11 thanksgivings with the red-headed woman to his right. And yet, this was the most time he had spent with her in months. It was bound to be awkward, he decided. Anyone in the situation would feel as awkward as he did now, stuck in this situation with not much to say. What could you say to your wife of 11 years that you caught in the actual throes of your bed with your best friend? He didn't know. He didn't have the slightest clue. As he drove toward his almost vacant land, his thoughts got taken away by the woman who seemed to occupy the center of everything he did lately. Meredith Grey. An amazingly strong, yet tiny, petite woman. She was already broken when he found her, and now he had shattered her. Crunched her with his big secret marriage. Ugh. Marriage. Secrets. Addison…

"…Derek?!" Addison said again, sounding slightly annoyed at her husband.

"Hmm? Yeah?" he said, still distant.

"Are you okay? I've been trying to get your attention for the last 5 minutes."

"Yeah…Fine." He said, still reeling in all his escaped thoughts. "What's up?"

"I asked you how far away you live from the city…we've been driving for 15 minutes."

"Oh. Right…umm….about another 5 minutes or so." Derek said, not moving his glance from the long straight road in front of him.

"Okay." She said sadly.

/

They arrived at his land and he pulled up just outside his trailer. Addison looked at him in disbelief, disgust and confusion.

"This is it? This is where you have been living for the last 11 months?" she asked.

"Yeah. Is it okay?" he asked, mostly as a joke, but he wasn't expecting the answer he received.

"Umm…No!" she whined seriously. "It's a trailer. In the middle of…well…no where." She complained, still gathering her bag and climbing out of the car. She grumbled when her new Jimmy Choo heels got stuck in the soft, moist dirt ground. "Derek. I don't like it." she complained again as she ran for the shelter of his tiny home, trying to avoid the drizzle that had started a few moments earlier. As she entered the house and placed her bag down on the kitchen table, she looked around. "I think that we should maybe get a place in the city." She said as she glanced once more at the interior of Derek's home. The home that he shared with Meredith just nights before.

"You haven't even seen it yet."

"I've seen enough to know that I don't like it. at all." She said, frustrated. "You never used to like this stuff." She added as a statement.

"what?" he said in disbelief.
"You were never like this. You were into Versace suits and 300 dinners."

"If that's what you really think, then I think I made a huge mistake in taking you back." Derek said flatly.

"You have never spent a day outdoors in your life."

"I love fishing. Do you remember? Or were you to ignorant? This is where I live. You wanted me back. I chose you. Deal with my life style." He said as he stormed out of his trailer to get some fresh air. Had he made the right decision? Addison was playing dumb, he was sure of it. She never used to though. She always liked to pretend she knew everything, not the other way around. Maybe she didn't know as much about him as he thought. When he thought about it though, he realized that in the eleven years they had been married, he had been on one fishing trip…with Mark. And they came home only hours later because Mark decided that he was going to eat some wild berries. Idiot. Derek smiled, before it disappeared as the image of him naked with his wife entered his mind. He walked back inside the trailer to find Addison staring at the floor on one side of his bed. Shit! He thought as she stood looking at them, a pained expression overtaking her fine features.

"Arr…" Derek said, startling her.

"Oh. I didn't hear you come back in." she said, tearing her eyes away from the stash of women's clothing.

"Umm…I should probably return those." He said as he walked over to the side of the bed and began to pick up the clothes that were strewn all over his trailer, though mostly in his bedroom. He breathed in deeply as he put them into a bag. Big mistake! His thoughts were immediately flooded with Meredith. Her laugh, her hair, her body, her skin, the way she said his name. He shook his head in an attempt to get her out of his mind, but she seemed to like haunting him. "I think I might take them to her now. I know she doesn't have a lot of clothes…so she will probably need to wear one of these tomorrow." He said quickly as he headed straight for the door.

"Derek." Addison said suddenly, just before he reached for the door.

"Mmm." He replied as he turned around to face his wife, her eyes dark.

"I really don't think she wants to see you right now. You just broke her." She said, realizing immediately that she had said too much.

"You don't know her." he snapped at her, though deep inside he knew she was right. "You don't know anything about her." he repeated more to himself.

/

He had been standing outside, on her front porch for what felt like forever. Should he really go in and give her clothes back? He could just ring and leave them there, on the front porch. He knew that Meredith didn't want to see him right now; maybe she didn't even want to see him ever again. But he had to see her again; he had to talk to her. Even though he knew there was nothing to talk about, he had to hear her beautiful voice again.

He took the two steps off her front porch down and headed to his car, but then he found enough strength to go back. He walked straight up to the door that he used to enter uninvited, and knocked quickly; before he had second thoughts; before he could turn and run again. A few moments later the door swung open to reveal a disheveled Meredith.

"H…hi?" Derek said quietly. She looked up at him, not saying anything, but just acknowledging his existence, though barely. "Umm…your clothes…that you left umm…at my trailer." He said uneasily, her gaze still cold, and fixed on his hands.

"Thanks." She said coldly; flatly, as she walked and took the bag from Derek.

"I guess I better get going now." He said sadly. He had really hoped that they'd get the chance to talk; for him to explain. As he turned to leave he thought he saw her mouth move; possibly at an attempt to say something. He stopped, frozen, watching her lips. Big mistake…again. She looked at him, an offended look passing over her lips.

"Seriously?! You come here to give me back my clothes and then you stand in the door way and stare at my lips? You're married. You have responsibilities." She said, anger boiling through her blood.

"Meredith." He said, sadness still apparent in his voice.

"Seriously? Seriously! You do not get to 'Meredith' me." She yelled, turning slightly away from him.

"Meredith." he tried once more.

"Don't gimme that! You don't get to come here and try to apologize. To try and ease your guilt. You made your choices. They're done. Deal with it." she mear screamed at him "Just go! Get out!" She pointed to the door fiercely, tears falling endlessly from her eyes.

"I'm sorry..." Derek sighed, sad and hurt. He turned away and returned, defeated towards his car. He took one last look at her as she closed the front door slowly. It was probably the last time he would ever see her outside the hospital. As tears formed in his eyes, he got into his car and angrily swiped his hand to his face. As he began to drive, he realized he was already taking the route not to his trailer, but to Joe's.

"You don't look so good." Joe stated as he sat down at the counter.

"Scotch, Joe. Leave the bottle."

/

After Meredith closed the door, she sat down on the floor, taking some of the clothes that still smelled slightly like him.

"You're okay?" Izzie asked, concern laced her voice as she walked out of the kitchen, sitting down next to her.

"He... they. They smell like him." she cried onto her shoulder. "He's married... he chose her." she sobbed like she only realized what happened. "Stupid brain man."

/

"Y'know... I'm married. Hmm... that's funny, I'm married. To the wrong woman. Funny." Derek laughed completely drunk now. "I'm married." he kept repeating to himself, trying to make it sound less... wrong. "Do you have more of this?" he asked pointing to the empty Scotch bottle. The same bottle that was cracked open just 40 short minutes before.

"Shep. I don't like saying this, but I think you've had enough." he said truthfully.

"I'm married..." Derek began to repeat again.

"Yeah. I think we all got that by now." Joe cut him off.

"I need to go... I need to talk to her. I need to tell her I changed my mind!" he suddenly said, getting up in a rush. "She needs to know that I love Meredith Grey. Because I do. I LOVE MEREDITH GREY!" Derek bellowed, disrupting the groups that had formed in the popular bar.

"No! You're not going anywhere!" Joe said in bossy tone. "You're far too drunk to go now. You can tell her tomorrow."