A/N: Hey Guys...we know it's been a while...we know...It's all my fault...I have barely been home the last week...so blame me...Vivi is a legend!! as always...she always manages to do so much at once...okay...so...even though Derek is an ASS!! how cute was he in the opening scene of Brave New World?! sigh...if only the pillow was invisible...or...even better...non-existant...this chapter has a little bit of angst...and we like angst. We like fluff...and we like angst...we're weird...we know...we remind each other every day...xD...we are absolutely loving writing this story...we're having so much fun with it...we like to work the stuff out as we go along...we find that it is more...inspiring to write when we don't actually know whats going to happen either...but do you know what inspires us the most...?! guess...i'll give you...3 guesses... - - - okay...well...clap for yourself if you guessed...REVIEWS!! we LOVE LOVE LOVE reviews...let us know what you think...coz if we're the only ones loving it...then...well...we may as well just write it for us and not bother posting it...coz things like this take time...so click that review button when you're finish reading...you know you want to...hate it? love it? we want to know...constructive criticism is awesome...it lets us know our weaker spots...ok...enough rambling...xD...

Disclaimer: If we owned Grey's Anatomy, we would have more than ONE MERDER kiss in FOUR EPISODES!! I mean...we would have a show that was 90 MerDer and 10 Christina/Bailey/Mark...coz we love them too...xD...but sadly...most of the show is surgeries...which...don't get us wrong...we LOVE it!!...but who wouldnt like a show with 90 MerDer and 10 Christina/Bailey/Mark?! ... Shonda owns it!! that is what we are trying to say!!

Chapter 5: Somewhere A Clock Is Ticking:

It was 6 o'clock. The time Derek had been waiting for, for the whole day. It was 6, and he would go to Meredith's and talk to her. Explain. He closed his chart absentmindedly and handed it to a nurse to finish. He finally had the chance to talk to her, and he wouldn't be messing up this time. He couldn't. He had to talk to her, tell her everything he felt, everything that was going through his mind, even if it wasn't always easy to gather his thoughts. But he seemed to be the only one excited about their meeting.

Meredith was in the intern locker room getting changed after a long day of work. It wasn't a good one either. She had lost her patient before they could even operate on him. He died in on the way to the OR. She sat down on a bench and buried her head in her hands. She was just exhausted. Everything in her life seemed to be wrong. First her boyfriend is married to some freaking Isabella Rossellini and then his ex-best friend shows up. And neither the wife nor ex-best friend is easy to hate. She even liked Mark... he was a really nice guy, and knew exactly what she was going through: hell. She definitely needed a drink right now. She took her purse out of her locker and shut the door harshly before turning on her heel and heading out of the hospital going straight to Joe's.

By the time Derek arrived at Meredith's he couldn't control his emotions. His excitement. He didn't see her car parked in it's spot but he assumed she had gotten home with some of the other interns. He banged on the door and waited for someone to open it, hoping it would be her. But apparently the luck wasn't on his side, Alex stood in front of him. He didn't do anything; just stared at him; surprised to see him standing on the front porch of her house.

"Err... Is Meredith home?" Derek asked in an attempt to break the awkward silence.

"Sorry man, she's not. And I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to see you." he sighed, somewhat sad for this man who was clearly in love with her…but also glad that she wasn't home. He didn't want him to break her again.

"Tequila, Joe." Meredith called as she sat down at the bar...next to Mark. She knew it probably wasn't a god idea to become friends with your ex-boyfriend's ex-best friend. But she liked Mark, and Mark knew what she was going through. They were the same. Her and Mark.

"You realize that you're a tequila-addict, don't you?" he mocked her as Joe poured her first shot.

"Well... tequila's my friend, it helps me to deal with my…problems." she retorted. He looked at her, a doubtful look etched onto his features. "Just shut up, I had a bad day."

"What did he do now?" he asked, quite amused by the fact that his former best friend was still chasing after her.

"He...oh…nothing...I lost my patient." she said knocking her second shot back.

"I'm sorry. You know what? I'll buy your next shot. That's what the DMC does for each other, right?" he smirked.

"The DMC?" she asked, puzzled.

"The Dirty Mistresses Club. Don't tell me you forgot about our own private club?!" he smiled playfully.

"Thanks." she laughed.

"Well... anytime. But why are you thanking me?"

"The tequila." She said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh…right. You want it now?" he asked, a smile forming on his lips as he watched her facial expressions.

"Yes." She replied immediately.

As the night went on, Meredith found herself relating to Mark, and feeling a bond toward him. Like a friendship could have been formed. It probably helped that she was utterly full of tequila, so much so that she could barely stand up, but she knew that this 'bond' was deeper than tequila and scotch. At about 1 am, Joe refused to sell them any more liquor. Meredith was pissed off, but knew it was for her own good. And she had more tequila at home. If worst came to worst, like if Derek showed up out of the blue, she could turn to that.

Mark had been fairly responsible with his drinks, and was able to drive. As Meredith slurred directions to him, Mark couldn't help but see, even in the midst of her drunkenness, what Derek had fallen in love with. He could tell that they were suited to each other. More than Addison and Derek; even more than Addison and him. Meredith and Derek had the same minds; the same personalities. Although they were totally different, they were the same. His thoughts pretty much stopped there, well; at least, the scotch stopped his thoughts there. Anything after that was too complex for his brain at this late hour mixed with alcohol.

/

As Mark pulled the car into the driveway, Meredith was finding it hard to remain awake. She had had a huge shift the day before, and the night was busy, so she hadn't had much sleep in the on-call rooms either. She opened her eyes forcefully when they tried to close, and caught a glimpse of something she recognized. Derek's car. Crap! Her mind yelled at her. Her head started spinning more than it already was.

I finish at 6.

Crap! Crap! Crap! "Crap." She said aloud.

"Crap?" Mark questioned, obviously confused.

"Crap." Meredith nodded.

"Okay." He shrugged. "Why?"

"Derek." She sighed.

"What? What's he doing here?"

"I told him he could come over…after I finished at 6."

"Meredith…that was seven-and-a-half ours ago. I don't think he would still be waiting for you."

"Mark…" Meredith pointed to his car that was parked slightly down the street.

"Oh. Well, maybe he did wait."

"Yeah." She breathed.

"Why did you tell him to come over?" he asked.

"He wanted to talk." Meredith spoke flatly.

"Oh." He replied, still slightly confused. "You want me to come in with you. Be your moral support or something?"

"No. I should do this. I need to do this." She told herself more than him.

"Okay. If you're sure." He smiled sweetly at her.

"Yes. Thank you Mark." She smiled at him. "For everything."

"No problem. That's what I'm here for. Dirty Mistresses need help sometimes." He smirked.

"Yeah." She said as she leaned toward him and gave him a kiss on his cheek. "Good Night. I'll see you tomorrow." She said, her mouth hovering next to his ear.

"Definitely." He replied. "We having another club meeting?"

"Sure." She said as she slid out of his new BMW four-wheel drive.

"Good night." He called once more before starting the engine and reversing.

/

Meredith looked up to see Derek staring coldly at her from on top of the stairs that led down off the front porch. She looked away immediately. It hurt her to see his sadness. His anger. He was never angry when she knew him. Well, when she thought she knew him, anyway.

"Mark?!" he said, anger apparent in his voice.

"Seriously?!" she replied, her anger getting the best of her. He wasn't allowed to be jealous. Not anymore. She didn't belong to him.

"Mark?!" he repeated, the anger thicker in his voice.

"Yeah. What about him, Derek?" she yelled, her fury getting the best of her.

"Look, I'm sorry." he sighed genuinely. He had no right to be jealous. None at all. Not anymore. She was able to go out with whoever she wanted, and it shouldn't bother him…but it did. It bothered him to a point of anger. Derek wasn't the jealous type. He always was grateful for what he had. A beautiful, smart wife, money, a good job, a loving family. But now, all that he wanted was standing in front of him, and she wasn't his to have.

She felt really bad for forgetting about him; and even though it was nothing compared to what he had done to her, she wished that she hadn't hung out with Mark tonight. She knew that somehow Derek deserved to be hurt, too... but she couldn't be the one hurting him. She loved him too much to do that.

"Derek. We're friends. I'm sorry for forgetting to meet you. I just needed a drink and Mark and I are getting along well. We have quite a lot in common actually." She looked up at him, all the anger still obvious on his features. "All I can say is I'm sorry." She sighed sadly when his cold expression didn't change.

"For what exactly?! For letting me wait outside your house like a freaking stalker? For forgetting to show up at your own house when we were supposed to talk? Or for showing up here seven and a half hours later with the person that I hate most in the damn world?" he yelled at her, his voice getting constantly louder. He suddenly realized that this was not the reason that he had come here in the first place. "I'm so sorry Meredith, I'm really sorry." he sighed, but it was too late. He couldn't take it back anymore, and worse... Meredith had heard every single word of it.

"Derek, I already said I was sorry. I haven't the best day today, and you can't really blame me for forgetting that you wanted to talk to me. Not after what you've done to me. So all I can say is, I'm sorry, and I really mean it." she yelled back, tears flowing down, staining her cheeks.

Derek moved a step closer to her, he thought about holding her in his arms to comfort her; but considering his relationship with her, it seemed slightly…inappropriate to him. Though, when she didn't move back from him when he stepped closer, he thought he might give it a shot. He edged slowly closer to her and she immediately leaned into his chest.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell. I had no right." he apologized.

"No, you didn't." she murmured against his chest.

A few minutes later Derek was still holding her, his hand moving up and down on her arm, and somehow... somehow it reminded him of their time together, before Addison showed up.

"Meredith." he said slowly pulling away from her to get a better look at her. "I actually came to tell you that, well... I don't want to be with Addison. I want to be with you." he smiled waiting for a reaction.

"Derek, I can't be the one ruining a marriage. That would make me a home wrecker, and I hate the fact that I'm a home wrecker." she said, slightly in shock. She knew she wanted to be with him, she knew she wanted him to leave her. And she had her theories about him wanting her, but now, hearing it from him made things different. She wasn't expecting it, and she didn't know what to say.

"My marriage was already ruined long before I met you that night in the bar, smiling like you hadn't a care in the world." he said leaning over to her.

"I was drinking tequila like it was going out of fashion." She pointed out to him, a small giggle escaping her lips as she remembered that night…well…parts of that night anyway. He loved the way she giggled.

"I love you." It slipped out. Immediately feeling her stiffen in his arms, he knew he had said the wrong thing. Then she loosened, and looked up into his eyes. He moved warily closer to her mouth. Their lips were only a few millimeters away and constantly getting closer.

"I can't." she said at the last moment, pulling away from him, from the safety of his arms... running away from him. From all the drama and hurt he had placed on her life. She stopped at her front door, turning to look back at him...tears streaming down her cheeks once again.

"I love you too." she sighed before going in to her house, that once felt so safe, but now all Meredith felt was danger.

/

"Meredith, you're okay?" she heard Izzie coming into her room. She had no idea how long she'd been lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling. All she knew is that it felt like forever.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." she sighed sadly and absentmindedly. Her mind still taken over by what happened tonight. She couldn't really believe it, Derek, the one she loved more than anything wanted to be with her, and said he loved her... And she ran away. She had done what she always did.

"You didn't wake me." she smiled slightly sitting down next to her on the bed. "Now will you tell me what's wrong?" Meredith looked at her for a while, not really sure if she should tell her the whole story. But came to the conclusion she should try it, though she wasn't even sure she'd get one sentence done.

"Derek was there... he... and I ..." she started to sob again.

"Shh, Meredith, breathe." she tried to calm her. "It's okay."

"He... and Mark... and..." she broke down in tears... confused, and then headed towards the bathroom, followed by Izzie.

"Don't tell me you got drunk because of him... again! The tequila's not helping with the problems." she sighed looking at her, throwing up.

"It does help!" she protested, slowly regaining her composure. "And it's not because of him... the tequila came before he showed up." she rambled, not really sure herself if anything she said made sense.

/

"Good morning" Mark smiled over to her, trying to spread some joy around.

"Morning." Meredith frowned, she had a hangover from last night but she still remembered every bit of it.

"How'd it go?" he asked in a not so cheerful tone as before. She sighed and leaned her head on his shoulder.

"Bad... I guess." she shrugged closing her eyes, trying to push the pictures of last night away.

"Wanna talk bout it?"

"Hmm... no, thanks." she sighed sadly, but the sadness quickly changed into worry as she spotted Derek watching them from the other end of the hallway. He was shaking his head and his eyes were somehow filled with hurt. "Really bad." she said as if she was finishing her last sentence.