OMG! Thank you so much for the reviews! I'm glad you're all enjoying the story. I hope you like this chapter as well. And oh, blackhorse1, I am working on my Kaceystar fic. I'm editing chapter 31 so it should be up any day now. :)

Again I stress that this is totally AU, OC, etc, and simply for laughs!

The Med Bay around the time Jazz and Bee walked into the Recreation room with Optimus

Wheeljack didn't want to be rude by interrupting Ratchet when he was working. He just wasn't the kind of mech to be rude and interrupt others. Besides, he couldn't get two words in with all the whining Ironhide was doing during his maintenance check up.

"What's that for? Do you have to poke me so hard? Ow! You fragger! Are you done yet? OW!"

However, the engineer was feeling uncomfortable leaving Optimus alone in his lab. Anything and everything could and has happened in that lab.

In fact, he was about to tell Ratchet he'd wait for him back at the lab when the CMO asked for Wheeljack's help. Never being one to turn down a friend, he went to help. Oh well, at least this meant that Ratchet would be done that much sooner. And the sooner Wheeljack fixed Optimus the better.

"What do you need his help for?" Ironhide snarled. "Just get this over and done with."

"If you'd sit still I could finish!" Ratchet barked back, smacking Ironhide on the head with his fist.

"OW!"

"Quit whining!"

"What do you need me to do, Ratchet?" Wheeljack asked quickly.

The two old friends often quarreled and could go on for hours! Optimus didn't have hours! Come to think of it, neither did Wheeljack if anyone found out Optimus was turned into a sparkling!

"I need you to run a diagnostic on his weapons systems to make sure he won't blow himself up because of an overlooked malfunction."

"Got it," Jack replied, grabbing the diagnostic machine over and preparing to attach the cable to Ironhide's left arm.

"Malfunction! I'll show you a malfunction," Ironhide growled, swinging his fist at Ratchet's head.

No one was going to tell Ironhide he had any kind of malfunction in his weapons systems. No one! He may get run down in a few of his other systems but he always made sure his weapons systems were functioning better than properly. One never knows when they'll have the chance to blow Decepticons to bits. Best to be prepared.

Ratchet, though he was up there in years, wasn't to be trifled with. He easily ducked Ironhide's wild plated fist. Primus, the mech was being a pain in his aft! He started wondering if Optimus and Elita weren't the only ones arguing this week. Ironhide was always cranky if he didn't get an interface fix with his sparkmate, Chromia.

There was a loud clank followed by a huge crash after Ironhide's fist connected with an unsuspecting target.

"Frag it to pit!" Ratchet groaned, rubbing his forehead.

"Oh, slag! Sorry, Jack!" Ironhide winced.

Both mech's looked down at the floor to see Wheeljack completely offline with a dent in his forehead.

"Must you always resort to violence?"

"Works for me most of the time," Hide shrugged.

"Come on, help me get him onto a bed," Ratchet sighed.

"What the frag was that crash?" Prowl asked, charging in.

"Just dumb aft here, giving Jack a bonk on the head!"

"I was aiming for your head you fra….AAHH!"

Prowl rolled his optics when Ratchet zapped Ironhide.

"You both are worse than the twins sometimes," he grumbled. "How long's he going to be out?"

"Not for too long," Ratchet answered, running a few cerebral scans on Wheeljack as they lifted the engineer up onto the nearest bed. "Luckily there's no major damage. The dent is the worst of it."

"Very well," Prowl said. "Have either of you seen Optimus? I was going to ask Jack if he knew where he was."

"We haven't seen him," Ratchet answered.

"He's probably hiding from Elita," Ironhide snickered. "They did have a whopper of an argument last night. Well, I mostly heard Elita yelling at him."

"Is there a problem, Prowl?" Ratchet asked, concerned.

Prowl mulled over an answer. He wasn't going to tell them Optimus was late for his shift. Prowl knew about the fight last night. He also knew Optimus would lay low for a while. He just never did so without telling Prowl about it. Of course, Elita could have found him and they could be…doing Primus knows what and Prowl could just be over reacting.

"No, everything's fine," Prowl finally answered then left.

"Can I go now?" Ironhide whined.

Ratchet sighed. He was tired of arguing with his friend. It was still early in the day!

"Fine, but we will finish your maintenance check up later today!" he warned.

And like that Ironhide was out the door! But at least it was peaceful in the Med Bay now. Ratchet had time to fix the dent in Wheeljack's head and work on a few reports Prowl had been asking for. It was nearly an hour later when Wheeljack finally came around.

"Oww!" Wheeljack moaned grabbing his head.

"Easy, you took a good bonk on the head there."

Oh Frag! Optimus!

"How long was I out?" Wheeljack asked jumping off the bed, his sparking racing.

"About an hour…"

"You have to come with me to my lab…right now!"

Normally, Ratchet would have insisted that a patient remain in the med bay for a short while after a blow to the head like that. But the engineer looked desperate like the world was going to explode any second. Optics bulging, spark rate elevated.

Ratchet was left with no choice but to follow his frantic friend and actually had to sprint after him down the hallway. He didn't want Jack to hurt himself any further.

Wheeljack's spark rate about tripled when he entered his lab and didn't see Optimus where he had left him.

"Oh no," he groaned.

"Wheeljack, what's wrong?"

Bins were suddenly yanked of shelves, their contents dumped. Every nook and cranny of his lab was quickly inspected. Optimus was gone! Holy Frag! Optimus was gone!

"Wheeljack, are you ok? You look like your best friend just died," Ratchet joked.

"RATCHET MEDICAL EMERCENCY IN THE RECREATION ROOM!"

That was Ultra Magnus' voice booming from the PA system.

"Jack, I gotta go! I'll be back to check on you. Just…try not to move around too much. I think you're still suffering from the knock on you head."

Wheeljack sat in the mess on the floor rubbing his aching head. He needed to think!

Ow. It hurt to think right now.

Ok. Ow!

Ok, he knew Optimus was too small to reach the door controls to unlock and open the door. So it was obvious he couldn't have let himself out of the lab. Which means the only logical solution was that someone had to have opened the door and let him out.

Frag it all the way to vector sigma!

SOMEONE OPENED THE DOOR?!

"Frag it to pit! I'm so dead!"