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It's Always the Quiet Ones.
Chapter Three.
Breakfast dragged on for what seemed like forever. It got a little better when James finally showed up and I was able to be quiet and broody without causing lulls in the conversation.
It wasn't until lunch that I got a chance to talk to Remus, and by then I had racked up two more essays and a detention for not paying attention during classes. My mind just kept drifting back to Remus's horrified face when he saw me.
After Transfiguration, I couldn't take it anymore. I dropped behind my friends for as long as it took to aim a quick explodikus at his bag.
Books flew everywhere. Scrolls went rolling in every direction.
Remus stopped walking, stunned. So did the others.
If I had told them to leave right then, it would have looked suspicious. So I waited until most of the mess was cleaned up before I made my move.
'I'll stay here and help Remus finish cleaning up. You guys go on ahead to lunch," I said.
They accepted my suggestion without question.
Within seconds they were gone and I was left only facing Remus. He picked up the last couple of books, looked at me, and raised his eyebrows.
"Shall we?" he asked.
I stared at him blankly for a moment. "Uh, shall we what?" I said.
Remus looked at me with concern. "Shall we go down to lunch?" he said. "Are you okay? You've been acting strange all day."
"Well, maybe I wouldn't be acting so strange if you weren't acting so bloody normal!" I cried. He gave me a blank stare. "About this morning?" I reminded him. More blank stares. "Bloody hell, Remus, I'm sorry! I can't help it! I'll be back to normal tomorrow, I swear. Only, if this is your idea of getting back at me, please, just acknowledge that you know what I'm talking about!" The desperate note that had crept into my voice was something I didn't particularly like, but there was nothing I could do about it right then.
This wasn't going as I had planned.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Remus finally said.
I gaped at him. "You don't..."
"Nothing unusual has happened all day, except that you've barely spoken." He said this completely seriously without a trace of irony or sarcasm. It was creepy.
I blinked. "But this morning! When I got up early and went to take a shower, and you were... and then I..."
Remus cut off my confused rambling. "Padfoot, what are you talking about? You never wake up early. Never! It's against Sirius Black's Rule of Conduct #23," he said.
"But the sun! Because I stayed up late and the sun came in because of bloody Snivellus, and..." I wasn't making sense.
"You're not making sense. Sirius, the first I saw of you this morning you were sitting in a chair in the common room. I think you fell asleep there," said Remus. "That essay from Slughorn must have been a monster."
I continued to blink in confusion. "But I came in and you were wanking!" I cried.
When I said that, it was like I had pushed a button. No, recognition didn't suddenly cross Remus's face, but a blush sure did.
"I was what?" he said. When I opened my mouth to reply, he cut me off. "No, I heard you. Sirius, please, I don't want to hear about your sick dreams. Now, I am going to lunch, and when I see you again, we will pretend that this conversation never happened. All right?"
"But it wasn't a dream!" I called at Remus's retreating back.
He didn't turn around.
And then I was alone in the corridor. As alone as I was in the belief that I had walked in on something very embarrassing that morning, apparently.
Had Remus put an obliviate on himself? But that didn't make sense. Why would he obliviate only himself? Why not me?
Had I really dreamed the entire experience?
No, it seemed too real. I remembered going up to bed the night before. And the image of Remus jacking off this morning was far too vivid to have been a dream.
But the more I thought about it as I made my way down to the Great Hall, the more ridiculous the situation became.
Remus did not wank. He wasn't a normal teenage boy. And no, I'm not talking about the whole werewolf thing. I'm talking about how Remus seemed to be asexual. I had never even seen him look at a girl for any reason other than because he was talking to her. About school, usually. He had never participated in James and my ogling of the females, nor our conversations with them.
Remus Lupin was simply not a sexual person. He had no crushes, no fantasies. He was just... Remus.
Which was the whole reason that walking in on him had been so disgruntling, I suppose.
But if it was only a dream, that was okay then. Remus was still Remus, and the world was still normal.
Only, if it was just a dream, that brought up a whole new issue.
Why was I dreaming about Remus masturbating in the shower?
That was not a normal dream for one to have about one's friend.
I decided that the best thing I could possibly do was forget it ever happened. If it wasn't a dream but Remus wanted to pretend that it was, fine. I owed him to go along with that.
And if it was only my own sick dream, well, then it would be best just to let it pass and as Remus said, never speak of it again.
This decided, I walked into the Great Hall and made my way over to my friends.