A/N: To make up for the freakishly long delay on the last chapter, here's the next one already! (And look, it's even fairly long.)
It's Always the Quiet Ones.
Chapter Seven.
I flopped onto my back, my brain practically making noise it was working so hard.
For one thing, there was a mystery guy to think about. "The guy that sits behind Snape in Potions is pretty good looking," Remus had said.
At the time, I'd been so grateful it wasn't Snivellus that I hadn't even bothered to wonder who it actually was. Now I did.
A picture of the Potions classroom formed in my brain. There I was next to James, with Remus and Peter behind me. I knew Snivellus sat about three seats in front of me, but the people between us were faint in my memory.
Actually, that wasn't true. I was very aware that Margaret Holloway had been sitting in front of me all year.
I mean, first I had a crush on her, then I was going out with her, and then she was my ex.; I wasn't about to forget where she bloody sat.
But in front of her... I strained my memory. When no one came to mind, even as I replayed every day of Potions that I could remember, I began to get angry.
Why did Remus even like this guy, whoever he was. Or any guy, for that matter, without liking me too. What's not to like about me?
The more I thought about it, the more annoyed I became. Remus and I had been friends for nearly seven years. I knew all the things about him that the rest of the school didn't know.
If he fell in love with some other guy, eventually he was going to have to mention the whole werewolf thing. And if I had such a struggle keeping that a secret at times, there was no way anyone else could be trusted at all.
How could Remus not realize that?
And anyway, what's not to like about me? I'm witty, I'm smart... and of course I'm damn sexy. If Remus was going to be gay, how could he pass me up for some guy sitting behind Snivellus in Potions?
Not that I wanted him to fancy me. Because if he did, things would be beyond awkward. I just wanted to know why he didn't.
And then, something popped into my brain that made everything click into place.
I let out a yelp (a yelp that may have been closer to an undignified scream) and the iced tea returned to my veins. Because I suddenly remembered who sat between Margaret Holloway and Snivellus.
The 'mystery guy' was none other than... Ellen Rundquist.
In other words, no bloke sat behind Snivellus.
That could only mean one thing, of course, and that was that Remus actually did fancy Snivellus. The 'sits behind him' thing was clearly only a cover up when I wasn't supportive.
Although I can't imagine how he thought I might be. Supportive, that is.
No wonder he wasn't interested in me, if he found that attractive.
And then, the iced tea turned into... I don't even know, dry ice? as what he'd said just before leaving came back to me. "Actually, you're wrong," he'd said.
Had he been... Had he been... Had he been... sleeping... with Snivellus?
Filled with panic, I leapt from my bed and hurried down into the common room to find Remus again.
Forgetting that I had already gotten ready for bed and was thus clothed only in a pair of loose pants.
But boy I remembered when I walked into view of all those Gryffindor girls hanging out in the common room. I suddenly felt about a million pairs of eyes focused on me. (Or, more specifically, at my bare chest.)
I awkwardly made my way over to James and Peter, who were in the middle of a game of chess, trying to appear... not awkward.
Trying to appear as if I wasn't bothered by the stares of half the Gryffindor population, even though my feeling of nakedness rivaled that of a few moments before, with Remus.
"You guys see where Remus went?" I asked.
"Up to the dorm?" suggested Peter. "That's where he was going when I last saw him."
"No," said James. "He went to the kitchens for a snack." He moved a rook.
Peter looked up from the game. "Really? Damn, I should have asked for some cheese," he said.
"I'll pick some up for you," I said as Peter returned his attention to the board.
"Hey, checkmate!" he cried. James groaned. Then Peter added "Thanks Padfoot. I owe you one. Or rather, two, for making James mess up."
"You're welcome," I laughed as I headed for the portrait hole.
Finding Remus didn't take long after that. In fact, I ran into him at the very first corner.
Literally.
As his hand shot out to catch himself against my chest, a jolt of electricity seemed to shoot through me. Him too, if the glazed look in his eyes after we were both balanced firmly on our feet again was any indication.
And there I went, breaking Sirius Black's Rule of Conduct #18: Never lose your train of thought, again.
Right. Snivellus. That's what it was.
"Come back down to the kitchens with me. I promised Peter some cheese," I said, taking his arm in mine and steering him back the way he had come.
Perhaps steering him a bit rougher than I might have yesterday. "What's up now, Sirius?" he asked, a touch of exasperation evident in his voice.
"Damn it, Remus," I snapped. "Sometimes it's alright to tell a little lie here and omit a truth there to let people down lightly or to maintain a reputation."
"Whoa whoa whoa," Remus interrupted. "Serious topic alert. We can get cheese later." And we stopped walking. "Now, what were you saying?" he asked, leaning back against the stone wall.
Shrugging, I continued. "Sometimes it's alright to tell a little lie here and there to maintain a reputation," I repeated. "I do it all the time. For example, and I've never told anyone this," here I paused for dramatic effect. "When I was little, I used to read every single day. I've read nearly all the book in my parents' library."
Remus let out a little gasp of surprise. "But you never read!" he said.
I shrugged again. "There's other stuff to do around here." I went on. "Anyway, small lies and lies by omission or whatever, those are okay. The point is, when you tell me something outright, say that you don't fancy Snivellus, and then tell me something else that gives me no choice but to believe that you do—"
He cut me off. "Wait wait wait, what?" he asked. "Where did you get that?" The exasperation was back in his voice.
"I figured out who sits behind him in Potions. Girls, Remus. Girls." My voice may have been slightly more condescending than necessary, but I didn't really care. Being lied to was really not my thing.
When Remus burst out laughing for what must have been the fiftieth time today, I was not happy.
"What's so funny?" I snapped.
"Sirius, you fail," he replied. "I know perfectly well who sits behind Snivellus. And damn it, I don't fancy him!
"Then who the hell do you fancy? I retorted.
Silence. Then, quietly, Remus said, "I can't tell you. I promised I wouldn't."
"What?"
"I promised the bloke I like that I would not tell you I fancy him," he said, slowly and with emphasis.
"You..." I gaped at him. This bloke knew?
Oh. Right. The 'actually, you're wrong' thing again. "Remus, are you a virgin?" I asked.
It was his turn to gape. "What?" he said.
"Are. You. A virgin?"
He shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot, face bright red. That was the Remus I knew.
"We should get down to the kitchens for Peter's cheese," he mumbled.
Remus's virginity was something I had never questioned before, but now... He wasn't answering. If he were a virgin, he'd tell me. He had no reason to be ashamed by admitting it, not like I would be, since it was assumed anyway.
Who would dare to touch our little Moony? The one truly innocent marauder.
We arrived at the kitchens without another word passed between us. The visit was short, and as soon as we got Peter's cheese, we headed back to the dorm. By the time we reached the Fat Lady, I was beginning to feel sick at the thought of some other bloke's hands all over my Moony.
And with that last thought came the iced tea again. That damn stuff was taking up bloody residence in my poor veins. Because I realized exactly what I'd just been thinking... 'My Moony'.
That was it, really. That was the reason this whole situation was bothering me so damn much.
I wanted Remus for myself.