A/N: Good god, it's been what, nine months? I'm sorry, that is not okay. : ( I can't even begin to make up excuses except that life happened. Anyway, it's all good now. Here's a chapter for you. And since we're nearing the end of the story, maybe there won't be any more ridiculous delays.

It's Always the Quiet Ones

Chapter Eight.

So I liked Remus. This was new, but not necessarily as surprising as it probably should have been. In fact, after the initial shock, it seemed more like a weight lifted off my spleen than an added one. Not the reaction I would have expected from myself.

When we reached the staircase leading up to the boys' dorm, Remus pleaded homework and stayed down in the common room, leaving me to ascend by myself. I was hardly complaining, though. I had some serious thinking to do.

Hahaha, 'serious'.

Ahem.

My determination to find out exactly who he liked returned threefold, this time so I would know who to go beat up. Maybe it wasn't entirely fair of me to want to beat up some bloke who to his knowledge had dome me no wrong, but I wasn't interested in fairness at the moment. I was interested in bloodshed.

Well, not necessarily bloodshed, but at least a bit of humiliation. Besides, an excuse for a prank is always good, and this was as good an excuse as I was likely to ever get.

But before I could get some quality pranking in, I had to figure out who this guy was. I could always prank Snivellus some more, just on principle. But Remus had insisted that it wasn't him, and I wanted to believe that. I just might have to kill myself if I couldn't believe that. I needed to believe that Remus was not having a secret affair with that grease-ball.

So who else, then? Maybe he didn't mean the bloke who sat directly behind Snivellus. Behind could mean back one and to the right one. Who sat on either side of Ellen? Oh, nope. Alice and Elaine. Also not blokes. Was our entire potions class made up of girls and Snivells? And us, of course.

Wait, Oliver Epson was in that class. And Edward White. But no, they sat in the front row. Aha! Jordan Sullivan. Jordan sat two seats to the right of me. That was in the general direction of 'behind Snape', I supposed.

I considered Jordan. The guy had short dark hair that he'd shaved clean off his head over the summer. It was growing back now, but it still looked ridiculous and stubby. Remus wouldn't go out with a guy with dumb hair, would he? (1)

I tried to convince myself that Remus wouldn't stoop so low, but it was difficult. After all, I knew Remus. I knew he didn't care about looks. He seems to think that it would be hypocritical, considering he's not stunning himself. (His words, not mine. Personally, I think he looks killer. But then again, I'm biased, apparently. Thanks to a recent discovery. Anyway.)

Then I remembered the gay thing. I was pretty sure Jordan wasn't gay. Then again, I would have been pretty sure I wasn't gay either, if I wasn't privy to the thoughts going through my head right then.

Oh, wait, no. He was also currently going out with Margaret Holloway, my aforementioned ex. Remus wouldn't date someone who already had a girlfriend. He would never stoop so low as that, and that was something I had no trouble convincing myself of.

So it wasn't Jordan.

Before I could continue my analysis of our potions classmates, the door creaked open and the devil walked in.

I mean, Remus. You know, speak of the devil? Or in this case, think of the devil. Of course, I'd been thinking of Remus for the better part of the last week or so, but that wasn't the point.

Anyway, so Remus walked into the room just then, interrupting my thoughts on his potential boyfriends, and walked over to my bed. The mattress gave slightly as he sat down, and I slid into the dip. Great, now I was pressed against him.

Not that I wanted to do anything about that, really, with my newfound realization of my affections.

Affections. God, that's such a girly word. "Aw shit, I'm going soft. Thanks a lot, Remus."

"What?" Oh. Did I say that out loud?

"Did I say that out loud?" I asked, out loud.

Remus chuckled. "Uh, yes Sirius. Yes you did."

I rolled my eyes at my own stupidity. Damn it! That was Sirius Black's Rule of Conduct #3, never say things you don't intend to say.

"Ugh, Remus, you're making me break all my Rules of Conduct!" I cried in frustration, sitting up.

Remus, of course, gave me a funny look. Considering I'd never mentioned my Rules of Conduct to anyone, that was to be expected. "Rules of Conduct?" he asked. I shrugged helplessly, and he seemed to understand that now wasn't the time to go into an explanation.

After a pause that was considerably less awkward than several of the other ones we'd had lately, I finally asked the question that was plaguing my mind. "So who is this guy, Remus? I know you promised not to tell, but can you at least give me a hint?"

"I gave you your hint, Sirius! He sits behind Snape in Potions!" Remus said, hiding a grin behind his hand. "My god, you're so oblivious sometimes!"

"But there are no blokes behind Snivellus in Potions!" I groaned in frustration. "In fact, the class is mostly made up of bloody girls!"

Remus snorted. "Not really," he said. "There are a bunch that always sit over in the far corner." I had forgotten about them… but before I could attempt to figure out who they were, Remus continued. "But it's none of them either." Then, "Why do you even care so much?"

Ahh, the dreaded question of the evening. Obviously I couldn't very well tell the truth. That would be rather awkward. But then again, I couldn't very well lie to my best friend. What to say?

I settled for a basic "You're one of my best friends, and it's important to me to know who you're going out with!" Yes, that sounded like a reasonable reason.

He hid another grin with his hand, and I felt like I was missing out on a joke or something. "I'm not going out with him," Remus clarified.

"What?"

"I'm not going out with him," he repeated.

I spluttered a bit. "But, if you like him… and he knows you like him… why…?"

"He actually has no idea that I like him," Remus said unsteadily, as if he were holding back a rather large amount of giggles. "And if he did, I'm not sure he would want to go out with me anyway.

I couldn't believe that. "I have trouble believing that, Moony," I said. "Who wouldn't want to go out with you?"

"Well, you for one," he quipped. Oh yeah. I had said that. Oops. I wracked my brain for something to say in response to that, but my brain was fresh out of witty comebacks. And there went Sirius Black's Rule of Conduct #16: Always have a witty comeback. Damn.

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(1) If this is your haircut, I'm sorry!! I don't mean to offend! : (