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I leap.
The russet fur- Jacob- parts beneath my fingers. The large black eyes- Jacob- twist to implore me. I stick teeth deep in its neck.
The blood is not sweet. But it quenches the thirst. It is not pleasure, like human blood, but it is enough to stop the fire in my throat.
I do my utmost not to think of what I kill.
The animal howls- Jacob- and falls drained to the earth.
"I'm sorry," I whisper. I know Edward does not hear.
There is a moment of silence. "So, this is how we hunt. Perhaps it's not sinless, killing to live, but it is resoundingly the lesser of two evils," he says finally.
I nod my agreement. The pain, as always, is salved by his presence. I am not in agony. He is here.
Later, when he goes to his room and I to mine, it will be agony. I have just killed a creature that looks so much like Jacob. The one who helped me, healed me, loved me without asking anything in return… and finally left me. Because everyone does in the end.
What is it about me? That I should be so attracted to myths and legends, so resistant to love from one of my own kind, and that the most unattainable creatures should shower me with their beautiful love- for a little while.
But for me, the fairytale always ended.
I turn and run. I can't afford to think about this, not with a deception to further.
The house appears in instants.
"Wait," I whisper.
Edward spins and looks directly in my eyes.
This is it. The final step. I feel such an aching pressure. I have to say this. Right now, right here.
"Edward, I'm…"
There is a crashing sound. I break from the desired words, from the stuttered confession, and look straight up in the direction of the noise.
I see Edward's face follow the arc of my gaze.
What I see there is too strange for words, but I'll try…
It appears that Emmett has fallen out the window. He is waving his arms back and forth…
Chased by an irate Esme.
"What on earth!"
He echoes my thoughts perfectly.
"Run!" Emmett screams at us, and he sounds perfectly serious for a change. Edward and I share a glance and run back into the forest.
"What were you going to say?"
"Nevermind." This is definitely not the time.
Within seconds, Emmett, Esme, and the rest of the family reach the ground and take off running.
"What…" Edward begins.
Carlisle hisses back at him. "No time!"
We run faster.
The trees blur and disappear, each melding with the others. We're going as fast as our legs can carry us, which is saying something.
There is no conversation, and I am understandably quite confused. I haven't the faintest idea why we're fleeing from our home. I am also rather put out I didn't get the chance to proclaim my undying love to Edward.
Of course, it could be a sign- that we need more time. That actually seems more likely.
Although I'd still like to know where we're going and what's wrong.
However, there's something comforting in the fact that I am running with my family. I may not be myself, but at last I am one of them.
"What could be so terrifying an entire clan of eight vampires had to run from it?" I ask some miles later. We are now presumably in the mainland of Europe, and quite soggy after swimming across the sea.
We had neglected to bring clothes while fleeing for our lives. This was a necessity all of us were now regretting as we dripped on the sand, particles sticking to sodden bodies. Vampires don't clean off very easily, especially not those currently disguised as the opposite gender. It's a mercy I only have to shower rarely.
This place makes me wish I'd had time to go sightseeing as a human. It was lovely. D-day… the invading forces had successfully stormed the beaches of France.
France had very nice beaches. The sand shone pale white beneath the identical shade of moonlight, a yellow so buttery it is golden, almost colorless in luminescence. The sea laps against the shore, a dark blue that is the same fabric as the sky.
It is almost as lovely as my companions, panting beside me on the shore. My kind does not tire easily, but we did just sprint across a continent. They have formed protective little groups. Carlisle is rubbing Esme's shoulders. Jasper and Alice, as usual, are not actively touching, but they stand very close together. They are almost one person. Emmett and Rose, always the most demonstrative, are locked in a tight embrace. She is clearly shaking. It is the first time I have ever seen Rosalie shaken- except for that one night when she told me of her past…
Only the fourth couple is sundered. Edward and I stand awkwardly apart, several feet away, waiting for an answer. It is painful to realize that we could have been married, forever a pair as these others are, in each other's arms with just as much confidence, had he loved me.
No, I can't think like that. He may or may not love me.
Had he not left me.
Going off on painful tangents is merely distracting me from the long silence. Something is being kept from me. I am certain Edward already knows it. His power is much more passive than mine- he can merely stand around and absorb thoughts. Mine requires a little more effort.
"If you don't tell me, I'll just read your minds," I threaten, and Esme meets my eyes. She is imploring with motherly familiarity. She acts the way she treated Bella, not the way she relates to Jacob, the stranger in the family.
Not now, she thinks. I scan the thoughts of others, and all I hear is Not now, not now, not now…
No one will tell me.
"Will you tell me?" Edward asks.
"Absolutely not. Now, we need to speak with… Jacob. Privately."
I know then. They know about me, somehow.
I follow Carlisle from the shore where the others stand. We run a brief distance, just enough to be out of earshot. We are not from the range of thought-hearing, so he speaks aloud, his thoughts still a litany of nonsense.
His eyes dart around, and finally he bends his golden head to my ear, whispering next to silently, "Bella?"
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