Hello all, I'm back with another chapter! I have an announcement, however... I'll be away for a few weeks again. :( I have to go home before school starts, which I'm happy about, but the internet connection there is more or less non-existent. So...yeah...no updates for a few weeks. I'm sorry. However, I'm being nice this time--there's not really a cliff hanger like last time. That was just deliciously cruel. XD
Which leads me into my other announcement. As consolation, I'll post two one-shot I have done, one written a few weeks ago, and the other written...earlier tonight. (laughs) I hope you enjoy them, they're pretty light-hearted.
Thanks as always to my lovely readers and reviewers. On to chapter 42!
The Undertaker sprinted down the hallway, seeing no sign of Shawn, and decided to check the RAW locker room. He threw open the door, calling for the Heartbreak Kid, and ran straight into Hunter, who was pacing around the room, pulling his long golden hair.
"Where's Shawn?" 'Taker asked, scanning the room, not at all seeing Hunter's hand until it came in a hard slap across his face, snapping his head to the side.
"How dare you!" Hunter screamed, face red with anger. "How dare you try to turn Shawn against me! How dare you!" He went to hit him again, but 'Taker caught his wrist this time, holding it still, eyes glowing dangerously.
"Look, Helmsley, what I did doesn't even matter anymore because Shawn--" He released Triple H's wrist and ran a hand through his own dark hair. "Because Shawn is going to kill me." Mark sighed and rubbed his temples, feeling a headache coming on. "He saw me kissing Batista…"
Triple H sneered. "Well, well, that dumbass got something right for once."
"What?"
"Don't play innocent with me," Hunter growled. "You set me up, I set you up, and now we're both fucked."
"You set me up?!"
"Of course I did! Don't tell me you're trying to play this game and don't know the fucking rules!"
The Undertaker grabbed Triple H by the collar of his shirt. "You no good son of a bitch!" he began, when he felt the Game grab him by his collar in return.
"You must be one too, because you did the same damn thing, and now Shawn is out there probably crying his eyes out!" Hunter tore away from the Undertaker and headed to the door. "Now, I'm going to go look for Shawn. You can do whatever the hell you want, but know that I'm going to get you back for this." He slammed the door as he left, and 'Taker stood there, seething for a moment before sitting heavily on a bench.
"Dammit," he whispered, hand resting on his forehead. "Dammit, dammit, dammit."
"I don't know whether to be relieved or even more angry," a low voice said from the door, and the Undertaker looked up to see Shawn standing there, eyes bright and angry and red around the edges.
"Shawn--"
"Don't 'Shawn' me!" HBK yelled, storming into the room and slamming the door closed behind him. "I heard every word… I can't believe you and Hunter! How could you play with my heart like that?!"
"Shawn, please--"
"I love you both so much… How could you just do this to me? Do you know what I thought when I saw Hunter with Punk and you with Batista?! I thought that I had lost you both, and that you had moved on…I thought I lost you!" He shook his head, somewhere between rage and relief. "Hunter cheated on me before, and I thought he…How could you do something like that?"
"Wait, don't just blame me! Blame Hunter too!" 'Taker yelled back, getting defensive because he knew all too well that he had no defense. He breathed deeply, calming himself.
"Shawn, I'm so sorry," he said softly, green eyes downcast. "Please forgive me…I'll beg you on my knees if you want…"
Shawn's blue eyes narrowed dangerously. "Oh, trust me, you and Hunter will have a lot of begging to do later." He shook his head again, frustrated. "So you set up Hunter to be with CM Punk? And he set you up to be with Batista?"
"Yeah…but I didn't know he set me up with Batista until a few moments ago…I would have done it if I had known beforehand…" He sighed. "I'm sorry, I just…I love you, Shawn."
The moment he said the words, Mark knew that he made a mistake. Shawn's eyes grew even angrier, and his fists clenched at his sides.
"You love me so much that you wanted me to think that Hunter, whom I love by the way, was cheating on me? You love me so much that you were willing to risk breaking my heart? What you and Hunter don't seem to understand is that I love both of you, and nothing you can do will change that!
"Actually, you know what, you two can change that, in fact, you already have. Congratulations, I now hate you both." Shawn turned on his heel to leave the room, rage overcoming all of his other emotions. The Undertaker stood silent for a moment, eyes wide, letting the words sink in, before he clenched his own fist, silently cursing himself and Helmsley.
"Dammit, Shawn will you calm down?!" he yelled as HBK's hand was on the door handle. "I'm trying to apologize and you're not even fucking listening!"
Shawn turned around angrily. He wanted to just walk away but… "I can't listen to you right now, I don't even want to see you! At this moment, I hate you, I hate Hunter, and it really wouldn't bother me all that much if you just went back to Batista!"
The Undertaker took an angry step forwards, having heard enough, hands curled into tight fists. However, to his surprise, Shawn took a quick step back, against the door, blue eyes growing wide.
And to his horror, those blue eyes were filled no longer with anger, but…fear.
"Shawn," 'Taker began in a half whisper, feeling his heart split in two. How many times had he loved the terror of his enemies? How many times had he reveled in their fear-filled gazes?
But seeing that look on Shawn's face, seeing those eyes grow wide in fear of him…
"Shawn, please…" He took a small step forwards this time, but the man he loved only backed away more. Instinctively, he froze, hands falling limply to his sides, head bowing. "I'd never, ever hurt you…"
'Taker's mind was going a mile a minute, scolding him for being a fool. The two men stood very still for several moments until the Undertaker blinked, expression becoming even more sad.
"Please don't run away," he whispered at last, imploring the Heartbreak Kid with his eyes. "I swear, I won't hurt you."
Shawn was surprised at how quickly Mark seemed to wilt. One moment he was terrifying, and the next he looked ready to sink into the ground. For a second, Shawn was afraid that he had intended to hit him, but now…
"I wonder sometimes," Shawn said after a minute in a steady voice. "What would happen to me if I made you mad?" The fear he had momentarily felt was gone, replaced by the anger he had felt a second before, burning even hotter. "What's to stop you from tearing me apart? You spoke before about protecting me from Hunter, but who's gonna protect me from you?!"
Shawn instantly regretted the words after he said them, not only because he knew that his accusations were unfair, but because of the look the crossed Mark's face.
The Undertaker had never known words to hurt so bad. He knew that they could, but it had never happened to him before.
Not anymore, though. He had first felt shock at Shawn's words, and then, instead of anger, he felt a deep, despairing sadness. Shawn was afraid of him; Shawn hadn't forgiven him; Shawn hated him. Despite his every effort to be as unthreatening as possible when he was around Shawn…the man still feared him.
That hurt the most.
Shawn winced when he saw how wide 'Taker's green eyes had gone, how they had darkened with sorrow so quickly. So many emotions had crossed his face, but they were all full of pain.
'He looks heartbroken,' Shawn thought, feeling terrible. 'I really hurt his feelings.'
"I'm sorry Mark," he began to say, and then sighed. "I shouldn't have said those things…"
"No, I deserve it," the Undertaker answered in a low voice, sitting down again. "I'm sorry, though…for…all of it." He managed a small smile. "I'd love your forgiveness, but it isn't necessary."
Shawn wiped a stray tear from his own eye. "Forgive you?" he said softly, going over to the Undertaker and kneeling by his side, embracing him around the waist. "Forgive you? 'Taker, I love you, and you shouldn't have to suffer because I'm an idiot. I'm the one who needs forgiveness." He closed his eyes, letting the last of his anger flow from him. "I was so angry… I understand if you wanted to hit me, because I sure wanted to hit you a few moments ago. But…I was lying when I said that I hated you. I was just so upset seeing you with Batista…" Shawn's blue eyes widened suddenly.
"God…Now I know how you and Hunter feel," he whispered. "I'm so sorry."
The Undertaker smiled down sadly at Shawn, taking him into his arms. "What the hell's wrong with us?" he whispered in a low voice. "We're so fucked up."
Shawn smiled sadly in return. "Your match is probably next," he said softly before pulling away from Mark's embrace and leaving the room.
Hunter had searched everywhere for Shawn, and couldn't find him. At last he had gone to the hotel, hoping that Shawn would be in his room. Even if he was crying, it would be a relief to Triple H…
"Shawn?" he called, knocking on the door softly. "Shawn, are you in there?" He knocked harder, hearing nothing. "Shawn, please be in there…"
"I'm right here," Shawn's voice said from somewhere behind Triple H. He spun around and Shawn standing there, not looking happy, but not crying or raging either.
Hunter licked his lips, throat suddenly dry. "Shawn I--"
"I know," Shawn interrupted, holding up his hand. "I already talked to 'Taker. Well, more like screamed at him… But, at any rate, I know what happened."
Triple H nodded slowly. "So…how mad are you?"
"Pretty mad," HBK answered honestly, taking a step towards the Game, who nervously placed a hand over his jewels. Sometimes an angry Shawn equaled sore nuts.
"You do realize what you did was terrible, and really hurt me, don't you?" Shawn asked in a whisper. Triple H sighed.
"Yes, but…I did it for us. I'm willing to do almost anything to make sure you don't leave me." He couldn't hold back a sad smile. "Shawn, I've told you a thousand times: I'm not crazy, but you drive me insane."
Shawn shook his head. "I understand, but don't do it again. You and 'Taker really hurt me… But while I was yelling at 'Taker, I realized how stupid it was to yell at him, because it only made things worse. Which is why I'm not yelling at you right now, although I really want to."
"Hey, if yelling at me makes you feel better, scream away."
"No, I'm fine." HBK folded his arms, beautiful eyes downcast. "At least, I think I'll be. Because I also understand now how you and Mark must feel…"
Hunter felt like the world's biggest asshole at that moment--he did every time he upset Shawn--and took his partner's hand, kissing the back of it gently. "I'm so sorry Shawn… Please forgive me one more time. I know you've forgiven me for a lot, for more than I deserve but, please, just once more…" He winced as he remembered giving this speech to Shawn before, many times, but most recently when they had gotten back together after years of fighting. It had been one of the best moments of his life; having Shawn take him back after so much.
But now he risked losing him again…and probably had just hurt his chances of keeping him even more…
"I'm so sorry, and I love you so much," he whispered earnestly, dropping to one knee. "So much."
Shawn looked down at Hunter. "I forgive you. But I want to be alone to think tonight… 'Taker has his own room and you'll need to get one too."
Triple H nodded, silently agreeing to leave Shawn alone for as long as he needed. But he knew that he was in it deep, and he fell asleep that night wondering just how badly he had set himself back in the race for Shawn's heart.
On the next floor up, the Undertaker fell asleep wondering the same thing.
Poor boys... (sobs)
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See you all soon! Take care! TVL