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Tanya laughs in the instant before she lurches in front of me… not aggressively, but protectively.

"Sisters, Eleazer, I move we do not kill Bella Swan. She hasn't done any harm."

"She killed Laurent!"

"Irena." Tanya shakes her head, eyes wise and full of sorrow. "She didn't kill Laurent. Laurent tried to murder her. Some friends of hers protected her by killing him. She wasn't even there."

Katrina and Carmen seem to be agreeing. Irena looks desperately at each and every one of them.

Then she screams. It is a blood-curdling, blood-thirsty, hopeless desperate sound, so wide and deep with misery I can feel it shake the fault line in my heart as it rattles the dishes and breaks the mirrors for miles around.

A slight exaggeration.

But I can feel the howl in my heart, and it kills me to know that because of me, someone suffers as I have.

Finally, she quiets, not to silence but to sobs. Deep, wrenching sobs… it is pure emotion being played out before me. It is all the pain I suffered but would not express. It is agony, pure and simple. I know the feeling, and I can sense distantly my arms winding around my torso to hold myself together.

"Oh, Kate! I loved him… I loved him… of all the men, all the hundreds of them… him… he was the one I should have been with… forever… I loved him… and he was a monster…"

I interrupt. "No, that's not true. He wanted to be good… but we've all been tempted. He wanted to stay off human blood. And he loved you. I could see it when he talked about you… just before he died. Don't hate the person you love. It'll destroy you. Trust me…"

"Of course. I know a lot about Edward and trying not to hate him. Bella's right, Irena. You can't hate someone, anyone. Sometimes two people are compatible, but in a relationship there's also circumstance, and that can go horribly wrong."

I nod. It's very true. "And two people… sometimes you love someone who loves you. Sometimes someone loves you but you don't love them, or vice versa. Sometimes someone loves you, and you love them, but they hate themselves…"

"Which creates gigantic problems."

Tanya and I share a distinctive look. It is named "Edward". I have a theory he would have settled for loving her, with less than the cataclysmic love we share, just to make Esme and Carlisle and herself happy… if it weren't for, first, his obsession with virtue, and second, his ridiculously low self-esteem.

I love Edward. But I think he could use therapy.

Tanya and I may be polar opposites, but anyone who spends enough time with Edward eventually has something in common…

"Irena, look. This isn't about our problems. Yes, the man you loved is dead. Yes, you miss him. Yes, you probably want to kill me… but he wasn't the one you were meant to be with. I know… Carmen and Eleazer, Carlisle and Esme, Jasper and Alice, Rosalie and Emmett… the kind of love… I know you loved each other… but there's something more, I think. I hope. Love that's enough to make forever worthwhile. I can't make you stop hating me, or stop your pain…"

She smiles half-heartedly. "I'll get out of your house now."

"We should stay. Ask forgiveness…"

"You're right."

I look at them. "All right. I'll call Carlisle."

"BELLA!" It is Edward, not Carlisle, who answers. I don't think I'd ever heard him… scream… before. And that is the only thing this can be described as. "Bella, Bella, my love, you're all right! Alice kept seeing… such things, Bella. Bella, Bella, I love you. Oh, Bella."

"I did it, Edward," I whisper into the phone. Be proud of me. Say it's enough. Be impressed… say I'm enough…

"Your power is impressive. What did you convince them?"

"My… power… it didn't work." It is agony to admit to him I've failed. "But I found another way."

"You fought them! Bella! Bella, how could you? How did you kill seven vampires single-handedly?"

"Not single-handedly, and not seven. I had someone with me… you. I could do it because I knew you loved me." The eavesdropping crowd made gagging noises here, but I could sense Edward's smile through the telephone. "And I only had to kill two of them. Alec and Jane. The Denali clan gave up, and they'd like forgiveness. Come to the house."

"This isn't some kind of trap?"

"No. I swear."

"I'm on my way. Shall I bring the others?"

"It's safe to come home." Home, with my family and my love. Home, forever and ever, where I would never have to fight or suffer again. It sounded beautiful.

"Excellent. I shall see you soon, my love… but not soon enough."

"I've missed you."

"I, also. Soon, but not soon enough. Good-bye."

"Good-bye."

The simple finale to an ordinary conversation was inexplicably painful. I would never recover. Once, I had been able to put aside the forgotten pain, forgive completely the emptiness. Twice… I wasn't so sure. And if he left me again, I would perish. I could not survive it again.

I thought he'd known that from the start, but maybe I needed to make it clearer.

I sigh. I don't want to have any more unpleasant conversations today, especially not with the man I love. And it is convenient, never sleeping, but I can also sometimes find myself wishing I had the time to clear my head, to not think or feel but simply… be. To release into dreams and darkness…

Stop waxing poetic, Bella. You sound ridiculous.

And now you are talking to yourself.

Of course, I know exactly the cause of my mini breakdown. I miss him, and I want him, and I love him, and for God's sake here I am again stuck waiting for him to come for me! I thought we'd decided this would never happen again. I know the situations aren't comparable, but still… I feel a connection.

I sigh and flop on the couch. The other vampires chatter amongst themselves, leaving me feeling antisocial, excluded, and very alone.

Charming. Not the best combination.

I wonder if Jake's okay. I want to chase him… I do love him in so many real ways, but I can't be his. Nor can he be mine. We both have something better than true love… I just have to let go and let him love her like I love Edward.

We can be happy now.

I wish him all the best. Run fast home, swift and safe, and find your true love waiting for you with open arms… and may the debt I owe you never have reason for repayment… may your need never be so great.

Edward's face is the first and last thing I shall ever see. His eyes bore into my soul, and his lips whisper my name. "Bella…"

I throw my arms around his neck. "Edward. I'm alive."

I can feel the smile on his lips as I taste them. "I've noticed…"

Promise me you'll never leave me again.

He does. Even though my power is useless against his impenetrable mind, even though our love somehow forms a barrier, I can sense him make that promise, his lips swearing it against mine… forever, forever…

Although I can't ask him for it, I know he would assure me, and that is almost as good as actually hearing the words.

Finally, Esme and Emmett run up, followed by the others. This forces Edward and I to part. His family's interference works just as well as my old need to breathe once did. I am slightly embarrassed by just how much I want to hold onto him despite their appearance. I sigh at the need for us to part.

This isn't the most horrid of our partings, despite the acute physical need that increases. However, there are more important matters to be attended to now. We have to ascertain it will be safe to stay here keeping my love beside me forever. The only thing that matters is our safety, our unity. I don't care about anything else. If I'm with him, I'm happy.

I guide them through the door, and one by one the faces of my family follow me while they walk past me, their eyes on mine, heads lowering in something like a bow. The beautiful faces of the people I love respect me as they file past. It is a brilliant feeling, like I've finally done something commendable, like I am the equal of my family at long last. I smile at them.

"Come on in. There's some people waiting for us."

"I don't see why we should go talk to those traitors," Emmett grumbles.

"Cut them a break. They feel really bad…" Esme cautions. Always the sympathetic one, my mother.

Rosalie's thoughts were unbecoming. They featured mainly on the vanity, that she was more fair than these most famed seductresses. I almost found myself loathing her until I found a route cause for her nastiness… when they'd first met, Kate had taken it upon herself to seduce Emmett. She hadn't succeeded, but Rosalie was afraid.

Jasper is planning battles in his head. He wants to figure out how a lone newborn defeated such aged vampires as Jane and Alec. I explain, mentally, how they came at me one by one and Alec was too busy grieving to use his powers.

He nods.

Carlisle is planning how to mend the relationship. "All this time," he says, aloud for everyone's benefit, "I've wanted to turn others to our way of life. And now I find our only allies easily slip back into killing."

"Not so easily." I relay the idea of Irena's grief and Tanya's furious rejection. He still doesn't sympathize, so I add the words, If someone mocked your friend and killed Esme, what would you do?

It is cruel, but I've already committed two murders today. A clean conscience isn't precisely on the docket.

Carlisle gasps, and then passes the thought, Oh. That is all it takes.

I lead the way into the living room where the others await.

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