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"Jacob Black, what the hell are you doing on my bed?"
He was sprawled on the sheets, garbed in nothing but a pair of black sweats, arms and legs at inconvenient angles, grin far too wide. "Hey, Bells. Good to see you again."
"You smell." It was true. I really wish he wasn't spreading his wet dog reek all over my possessions. It will probably take weeks for the stench to fade.
"So do you."
"Well, I'm not spreading my smell all over someone's room… uninvited, may I add?"
There is a twinge of pain in his eyes. "Bells, I just wanted to show you… I have a question. Does my wedding invite still count?"
"What invite? I told Alice not to give you one. I didn't want to hurt your feelings."
He laughs cynically. "Oh. Well, it didn't. It only made me run four thousand miles in giant wolf form because I was too pissed to phase back."
"Who sent it?" I wonder for a second. Suddenly, it dawns on me. "Edward. He is dead."
"Technically, you're right."
"Did he send it? How could he?"
"It was the right thing to do. I would have wanted…"
"No. You don't understand. If he hadn't… you wouldn't… you… I…"
"Oh." He is my Jacob again, without any warning. He is no longer hostile, but smiling slightly, earnest and honest. "Bella, you wish he hadn't sent it to me… because if he had, I never would have imprinted. Right?"
I am ashamed. I am so selfish to deny him this happiness. "Yeah."
"Well, that's understandable. I'm happier than I've ever been before, but you… you didn't have anyone. I broke my promise again, and this time it's for good. We're enemies now."
"Do we have to be? Jake, can't we be friends?"
"That's why I'm here. To say that even if we never see each other again, even if we're always on far sides of the fight, I'm still your friend. Under it all, I love you, and I always will. Nothing changed. I just love her more. Like Leah and Sam. Only you have Edward…"
"Do I?"
"Yes. You do. You know, I feel pretty bad about that. You were asleep. I spent about an hour trying to convince him to leave, so I could have another chance with you, that I was better for you. Guess he gave it a shot. This time, I was the one who blew it. Sorry."
It is an honest apology. I cannot accept it. "I don't need more guilt. Edward's got enough for the two of you."
"Bella, I'm going to stay for the wedding. Then I'll leave and get back to my own life, my new life. I like it. I just miss you. You needed me so much, and I can't help remembering how nice it was. Aliene is very independent. You are too, of course. Very proud. But you were so empty. Sometimes the life in her surprises me."
"Can we not talk about her? I understand she's the center of your universe, but you have no idea how hard it was for me. To come to have you, to fix me up and make it all better, and find more pain. Jake…" I finish, for the pain I am describing flits across his face. "Anyway, how'd you find me?"
"The smell. It's like a vampire mixed with you. Stinks. Literally," he grins.
"Did I smell bad as a human?"
"Naw. You smelled great. But now it's like flowers, only mixed with sugar and ice, and lots of it. It actually hurts."
"Well, you smell like a poorly groomed dog."
He shakes his long hair at me. "You caught me."
I return to a more serious topic abruptly.
"Why'd you try to save me?"
His eyes are earnest. "I love you. I still do. I always will. But we'll never be together. It's as simple as that. I can't stand to have you die, but I have…"
"We're happier… we both have something better. Right? Only you know she loves you." I try to keep the bitterness out of my voice.
"No. No, really, I don't. I'm blind when I'm around her. I don't know who I am, who she is. All I know is that I have to keep her safe. And I love her. Really I do. But I don't know what she wants from me. With you, I always knew."
"Because I needed so much." Jacob hasn't exactly seen the best side of me. In fact, the only side he's seen is the one that's dying of heartbreak. He only knows me as someone with nothing left to lose, not as the well-adjusted sane human being I am now… well, minus the human part.
"Bella, I was never good for you. I thought myself so much better than him, but really I kept hurting you too."
"It was never either of your faults. I'm just not enough." I don't even hurt at the words. They're too true to worry about. They've become a part of me, really, so intrinsic. I no longer even notice the pain.
"You're more than enough. It's just the circumstances, Bells. He loves you. It's like the way I feel about her. I know you don't want to hear it, but I've seen him look at you. His world revolves around you."
I laugh cynically. "Once I made that exact same metaphor- while he was gone the first time. I was like a lost planet, defying all the laws of the universe to keep spiraling around the locale of my destroyed sun… except you were the sun to me."
There is an awkward silence. He breaks it. "So, I'm getting married too."
"I wasn't in any state to say this when I found out, but congratulations. Have you set a date?"
"Two years from now. She isn't ready, and I can wait. Werewolves are good at waiting."
"Like Quil and Claire."
"Yeah. He's got a long wait ahead."
Jake seems totally distracted. I know he has what I've always wanted for him, but he doesn't seem any happier than he did pining after me. I sigh. "Well, you're welcome here. As long as you want."
Unexpectedly, he hugs me. "Thanks, Bells. You're still my best friend."
His arms are even warmer than I remember. I snuggle into his embrace.
That, of course, is when Edward chooses to make his entrance.
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