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"Bella, I'm sorry. I broke my promise again, didn't I? I'm over-reacting."

"You think?" I am infinitely relieved. It isn't a plot to leave me. It's just Edward being stupid again. It's like I can breathe, not that I really need to.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing. It's really irritating. Just so you know, I love you."

"And I love you."

I look straight in his eyes and see he believes it. This makes me smile wide. I know I won't be left again. I know I'm safe now. Or at least I believe it, which amounts to the same thing in the end.

"Don't leave me, Edward. Please," I beg. It isn't the right time or place for this conversation.

"I won't. I won't, I swear."

"You promise?"

"Yes."

"But you've broken them before."

His eyes turn to fire. "I swear by God and my family, Isabella Swan, that I will be yours, by your side, until the day you forbid me forever from your presence, and even then my heart will still belong to you. Will that do?"

"I should think so." I smile at him, and he almost returns it.
"Bella, will you tell me something?" he asks, and I nod. "Is it true that you love Jacob Black?"

I let the question dangle for a second as I search for the words. The wind rustles in the silence, and I see a mounting agony threatening to overwhelm his face. Studied calm keeps it at bay, but just barely. "I… I did. I don't think I do anymore. He's still my friend. He always will be… but I don't think I love him. I never loved him like I love you, I can tell you that… The only reason… the only reason I care about Jacob anymore is because of how very much I owe him."

This wasn't going to be easy.

"What do you owe him?"

"My life, seven or eight times. Probably my sanity. It isn't fair to treat Jake the way I have, but he's imprinted now, so I hope he'll be happy." All I ever wanted was for them to be happy. It still doesn't seem like too much to ask. I don't care what it does to me, as long as those I love are happy.

He weighs my words.

"Edward, I'm telling you the truth. The only thing I've ever wanted is to give Jake back what he gave me. The only thing I've ever wanted is you, Edward. I love you. I promise."

"Okay," he says, and slowly he stands. I see a great invisible weight pressing down his shoulders, but I ignore it. I run to him, and he wraps his arms around me.

He bends his face so his lips meet my hair. I hold him closer. The world rushes around us and disappears, utterly inconsequential to the sweetness of his touch. He is all I see or feel, and that's just the way I like it.

"Edward," I whisper. "I love you."

He smiles.

"I love you, I love you, I love you. No one but you. Never anyone else. I swear it."

This is probably the closest our strange relationship will ever get to an honest confession of our feelings. We try so hard to prevent the other's pain. It's sad. The only place we can tell the truth is here in this dark, depressing wood.

"Bella, stop promising."

"Do you believe me?" I demand.

"Yes."

"Liar."

He sighs and looks at me. "Why don't you trust me?"

"Do you want the truth?"

"Of course."

I spit it out, slowly, painfully. "Edward… I love you, but you're just not very trustworthy. How many times have you broken promises? How many times have you broken my heart?"

He winces. "I'm sorry."

"I've returned the favor. We aren't blameless, either of us. It's been a long hard road to our happily ever after. But every day we get closer to the end. Everything will end up okay."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

He smiles brilliantly, a grin shooting across his face full-fledged. "Thank you, Isabella."

I freeze. Good-bye, Isabella. Good-bye, Isabella, good-bye, good-bye, good-bye, good-bye…

"What's wrong?"

"Don't call me that," I ask weakly, and he nods.

"Why?"

"When you left…" I stammer. "That's what you…"

"I'm surprised you remember," he murmurs, trying to distract us both.

"None of the memories have faded. I'm sorry for that. It would save us so much heartbreak if only I didn't have to remember."

"Could you take the memories away with your power?"

I probe the inside of my own mind gently. "Probably, but I wouldn't. It wouldn't be fair to you, to have to hold that knowledge all alone. I can't take it from you, so I'll hang on to it as well."

"Bella, I don't deserve you."

"Nonsense. Come kiss me, please," I reply, and he obeys.

Splendidly.

When we break apart, Edward says, slowly, "Bella, will you tell me why you keep coming back to me? Again and again I'm stupid enough to push you away, and yet you always follow no matter how cruel I am. Why?"

"I can't live without you." The whole world agrees. The trees sway and the moon gyrates to that resounding truth as night deepens over us. "I have to keep coming back. We don't have a very healthy relationship, really, with all the lies and the desperation of it. We need each other so much, maybe too much. And I'll always come back. Because of how much I love you."

His hands surround me, pulling me closer. "I will never leave you again."

"Don't make another promise you'll only break," I say sadly. Those are words I will never believe.

"I would nev…"

"Oh, but you do. You do, Edward," I whisper. I can feel sobs in my chest, tight and hard.

His hand strokes my face now, just as gently as if I were still breakable. "No, Bella. Because I'm making a different promise. I'll always love you. And there's one I've never broken, and I never will."

"You really never stopped loving me?"

"Did you ever think I did, beautiful? No, it was always a lie. I always have loved you. And I always will. Forever."

The most beautiful thing I've ever heard, in all honesty… Perfection. It's a promise I don't expect to be kept… but, but, but, if I only hope, that's enough, that's all I need. I can live as long as he hope. In fact, he almost seems to think it's true himself. That's wonderful.

He is very beautiful. I still think he's the most attractive person I've ever seen. He's lovely, especially with the slight shine the clear moonlight gives his skin. "So. We're getting married in a month?"

"Yeah," I whisper. He grins.

"I'm so glad you forgave me, Bella."

"I don't have much of a choice. You know that, right? I have to have you to live, and I have to forgive you to keep you near."

"No." He contradicts me with a sad smile. "I'll always be near you. Always.

"Really?" I sound pitiful to my own ears. I am staking all my hopes and dreams on this one answer. It isn't really right. I should be somewhat stronger. I should at least try to hide how pitiful I am, but I don't really want to. I want to be able to trust him with this.

"Always. I'll always be here for you. I'll always be waiting."

Edward holds me tight, and I am of course comforted. I can't help but be happy when I'm around him. He's so much for me even when I don't really feel glad, even when I don't want to be happy, he makes me happy.

His smile widens when I grasp him tightly around the waist. I feel so close. He is practically grinning, the familiar crooked smile I love almost as much as I love him.

"Do you promise to love me? Forever?"

"Forever," he swears, and I share his grin.

"I couldn't be happier than to marry you, so I can love you… forever."

"Bella…" he begins, and then stops.

"What?" I ask, worried.

"I don't… nevermind."

"Edward, what is it? Tell me, please. Please."

"I… you don't have to feel obligated. It isn't a… I'll love you no matter what. Don't marry me just because you think it'll make me stay with you. I'm never leaving again, and you have my word on that. I want you to marry me because you want to, not because you're scared… it's the same thing as changing you." He stutters it out unwilling, and the breath freezes in my throat.

I try to hide the fact that he's truly hit home. "Oh, Edward. I… I… I love you. I'm marrying you because I love you and I want to spend the rest of eternity with you. That's the only reason."

His eyes peer into my heart. "Can you promise me that? Will you swear that's not a lie?"

Can I afford to tell him the truth? Can I afford not to?

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