Chapter 6: Problems Arise

Once on deck, Zell and I both walked over to where Lulu, Yuna and Wakka stood. "You wanted to learn how to cast magic?" Lulu asked.

"I thought she already could?" Wakka put in.

"I don't have the control I want yet. So far, I cast on instinct," I answered with a smile.

"Oh," was his response.

"Concentration is the key. Once you have the handle on that, casting the spell you want will be second nature," Lulu said. "Okay, hold your hands out in front of you like this," Lulu held both hands up as if she had a ball in between them. Zell and I both mimicked her action before Lulu continued, "You both have the natural mana energy inside your bodies, so try to feel the energy between your hands."

"I feel it!" Zell exclaimed a couple of minutes later. "Do ya feel it baby?" he asked.

I was happy for Zell to feel what Lulu was trying to explain to us, but I didn't feel anything at all. "No."

"Close your eyes," Lulu suggested, so I did. A couple minutes later she asked, "Anything?" and I shook my head no. "Perhaps you are concentrating too hard?"

"How can I be a natural magic caster and not be able to feel the energy?" I asked. I was getting really frustrated with my lack of progress. I mean, I defeated two Weapons by myself and I cannot even do one simple exercise?! "What am I doing wrong?"

"Come with me and let's sit down, maybe that will help?" Lulu suggested. We walked over to the entrance to the cabin and sat beside the outer wall. "Let's go over everything you know you can do, whether or not you have control over it."

"I don't understand," I confessed.

"I mean, this will be a start in understanding what you can do. Maybe we can use that to our advantage? Once I know, I can come up with a strategy in teaching you magic and control. Sometimes lessons need to be custom-made for the individual."

"Well..." I started as I thought about everything I've done in the past. "I've done spells of course...just on instict." I turned my head to look at Zell, "Seifer, Zell and myself used our magic together to create a Holy spell."

"Now that was awesome!" Zell exclaimed with a grin. "And none of us even had any Holy spells junctioned!" Zell looked at me and continued, "Tell her 'bout the time you got rid of those Weapons!"

"That may have been my demonic powers taking over," I replied. I ran my hands through my hair before I hugged my knees. "There's just so much I don't understand."

I felt Zell wrap an arm around my shoulders and Lulu said, "All in due time Eternity. Relearning magic can take a while."

"Hey, I know what'll make ya feel better," Zell started. I looked at him and he continued, "Call Squall and see how Kaelen is doin'."

I gave a weak smile before Zell handed me my cell phone. I picked the number from the list and pushed the green button to call it. After a couple of rings, I heard a "Who's calling?"

I was stunned by the unexpected voice. "Seifer?" I asked. I glanced at Zell and he had a confused look on his face. Zell leaned over and I adjusted the top half of the phone so Zell and I could both listen to the conversation.

"Mmm, how's it going?" Seifer's voice sounded strange.

"Where's Squall?" I asked.

"He's under the desk sucking my cock," came Seifer's response.

"Who the fuck is that?" I heard Squall ask in the background.

"Don't worry, it's Eternity," Seifer answered. "Do you honestly think I'd tell anyone other than her what you're doing right now?"

I saw Zell's mouth hanging open from the corner of my eye. "Kaelen isn't with you is he?" I asked.

"Huh? Oh, no he's not. Achaiah is watching him for us," Seifer told me. "Come on Squall, keep going. Ugh, yes!" Seifer moaned.

"I...guess I'll...let you do whatever now..." I replied uncertainly.

"Wait!"

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Talk nasty to me baby," I could almost hear the grin in Seifer's voice.

Zell grabbed the phone out of my hands. "What did ya say ya asshole?!...I'm not a chickenwuss!...No!...No!...The only one who's gonna suck a cock is you sucking mine ya prick!...Fuck you!...Go fuck yourself!" Zell closed the phone, disconnecting the call. I gave a small sound of protest and Zell looked at me. "Heh...well..." he looked at the phone before handing it over to me. "If there was anything wrong with Kaelen, they would've told ya..."

"Yeah."

Zell leaned over and rested the side of his head on my shoulder. "Are ya mad at me baby? You know...for all that?"

"No..." I looked down at the phone resting in my hands. "I'm just surprised they were doing that in the office of all places."

"Ya think they were in the office?"

"The desks in the dorms are too small for anyone to fit under. And there are classes going on during the day in the classrooms."

"Damn! We have an exhibitionist in our group of friends!" Zell exclaimed. I gave a small laugh and ran my right hand through Zell's hair.

A thought came to me so I turned to Lulu, who was patiently waiting for our conversation to end. "Do you think the meditation I was taught before could help with my progress?"

"Which meditation?" Lulu asked.

"The one Ariana taught me so I could astral project?"

"Maybe I could learn that too?"

My eyes met Zell's and I asked, "You mean astral projection?"

"The meditation. I don't know what that other thing is."

"Astral projection is when the soul leaves the body and travels," Lulu explained.

"The soul can travel?" Zell asked.

"Yes. Depending on the level you're at, the soul can travel all around the world, and even to other realms," Lulu answered.

"Cool!"

"Okay Eternity, go ahead and try to astral project," Lulu lightly ordered. I nodded and tried to go into the meditation that Ariana had taught me. It had to do with imagining different colored spheres going from the base of my spine to the highest reaches of the sky.

After about five minutes or more later, I placed my hand on my forehead and shook my head in disappointment. "It's like I'm empty or something...like the powers are not there anymore." I turned my eyes up to me Lulu's. "Is that even possible? My powers were working earlier...but were they stripped from me?"

"I don't know," Lulu answered.

"Would a Scan spell have that kind of information? You know, magic energy?" I asked.

"I got some!" Zell exclaimed. "Hold on." He reached into his shorts pocket and pulled out the device that reads Scans. It looked a little like a wristwatch to me. Zell put it on and told me, "Go stand in front of this wall." We both stood and I did as he asked. "'K, hold on." I watched as Lulu stood beside him. Zell waved one of his hands and pushed them both together in front of him. A spell activated and I was surrounded by a blue ring. "Just a minute..." the hologram of the information appeared above the device and Zell studied it. "Damn! That's more power than any Sorceress I've scanned before! But...the power level keeps jumping all over the place! This scan says that it's at one hundred percent, now one percent, now forty percent...I've never seen anything like this!"

"Is that a bad thing?" I asked.

"Well, yeah. Your power is unstable...very unstable..." Zell told me. "Damn!"

"What?"

"The power level is going over one hundred percent now! Now it's at zero...and it's staying at zero." Zell shook his head. "This isn't normal."

"If I cannot use magic, I'll need to buy a bow and some arrows so I can help in the battles," I said.

"Are there any on the boat?" Zell asked Lulu.

"Nobody else here uses bows," she replied.

"I guess I'll be useless for awhile, if my powers refuse to work," I told them both. The last time this happened was when...no, it couldn't be. I stood and continued, "I'm going downstairs to lie down."

"You want me to come with?" Zell asked.

I turned to him and slowly shook my head. "I need to be alone right now."

"Oh, okay," I could hear the disappointment in his voice as he looked down at the deck in front of him.

I walked down to the room I would be sharing with Lulu, opened the door and laid down on the bed without bothering to shut the door. I laid on my side and stared at the wall before me. Was it really possible? The last time my powers wouldn't work...

I sighed, turned onto my back and stared up at the ceiling. 'Seifer?' I tried to contact him through telepathy. I needed somebody to talk to about this. I waited for a few minutes for a response, but never got one. I looked at the phone in my hand. I forgot I was holding it. I flipped it open and skimmed through the names until I got to Seifer's number. He had added it at Steena's wedding a few days ago. I couldn't believe that so little time passed, but it seemed longer to me thanks to the journey I was on now.

I pushed the green number and listened as the phone rang on the other end. "Hello?"

"Seifer?" I asked. I could hear my heart beating in my ears because I was so nervous. What if Zell caught me talking to Seifer?

"No, this is Achaiah," I was surprised he answered Seifer's phone. Since I found out about my unborn son becoming an Unsent, I've thought about him frequently. I was even more nervous because I didn't have much contact with him, unless you counted the amount of times I thought he was Seifer. I'm surprised I didn't even notice the switch in the first place.

"W-where's your father?"

"He's with Squall," Achaiah answered.

"Oh...uh...would you have him call me after he's through with whatever? I need someone to talk to," I requested.

"Why don't you talk to Zell?" he asked.

"I...don't know what to do."

"What do you mean?" he asked me.

"Before you were..." I started. "My powers...I couldn't control my powers. Would you have any idea why?"

"No, why?" he asked.

"Because...I think they're gone..."

Before I could say anything else, he yelled, "What?!"

"I'm not very sure myself...but I don't feel anything inside when I try to use them..."

"What do you think happened?" Achaiah asked.

"This has happened once before...my powers being stripped..." I trailed off.

"Well?" he asked. "When was that?"

"When..." I took a breath. "When I was pregnant with Kaelen, I couldn't use my powers at all."

"Do you think you're pregnant?"

"I don't know...maybe. I'll have to wait until I get the other symptoms before i'm sure," I replied.

"How does Zell feel about this?"

"He doesn't need to know," I answered quickly. "I mean...he said he doesn't want to have kids. So there's nothing I can do about it."

"Wait a minute!" Achaiah started angrily. "What the hell do you mean there's nothing you can do about it?! You go up to him and tell him about this! You need him to help you if you are pregnant!"

"But I can't!" I argued back.

"Where's that powerful Sorceress that I know? Mom, he needs to know if you are pregnant."

"I'll try to talk to him, but only if I know for sure. I don't want to worry him," I replied sternly. "And I don't want your father to find out about this yet, especially when I don't know for sure. He'll throw a fit if he knew."

"Is that a mood swing or a personality change?" I could hear the joking tone in Achaiah's voice.

I didn't feel comfortable with the topic, so I decided to change it. "How is Kaelen doing?" I asked.

"He's playing with Koobie right now."

"Koobie?" I asked.

"Yeah...turns out that girl you caught...dad...with...dropped their kid off at an orphanage."

My eyes widened, "You mean they had a kid together?"

"I thought you knew?" Achaiah asked.

"I saw him with a child before...but I didn't know he was Seifer's son..."

I heard Kaelen in the background and Achaiah asked, "Do you want to talk to Kaelen?"

"Yes, please," I answered.

Soon, I heard Kaelen exclaim "Mommy!"

"Hi honey!" I replied in an excited tone for his sake. "Are you being a good boy for your daddy and brother?"

"Yes mommy. I play with Koobie!"

"Really? Are you having fun with Koobie?"

"Yeah! He my frind."

"Aww, that's nice honey. Let me talk to your brother now, okay?"

"Okay."

"I love you Kaelen," I told him.

"Luv you too mommy," came Kaelen's reply.

Achaiah's voice came over the phone next. "Yeah?"

"I'm going to lay down for awhile, so I'm going to end the call," I told him.

"Okay."

"When I get back, I want to spend some time with you alone so we can reconnect."

"That's fine. Bye." With that, he hung up before I could even reply back.

I moved up on the bed and laid down. I don't know what I'd do if it turned out I really was pregnant. The only symptom I have right now is losing my powers, but that could be from anything. I turned onto my side and stared at the wall, ignoring my thoughts altogether. I felt a depression at the foot of the bed before a hand touched my leg. I looked over to see who it was and saw Zell slowly crawl up the bed to me. He got into the spooning position behind me and grabbed my hand near my stomach. "Zell?"

"Talkin' to Kaelen huh?" Zell asked.

"How much did you hear?" I was hoping he hadn't heard me talking to Achaiah about me thinking I might be pregnant.

"Not much. Just the end of the conversation," he answered.

I decided now was as good a time as any. "If we're still together many years from now, and we get married...I want to have a baby with you."

"I don't want kids," he replied. I knew he would give me that answer.

I turned onto my back, so now my face was only inches from his. "But...I want to settle down and have a family in the future. Now that I have Kaelen, I don't want a life of fighting, unless it is absolutely necessary. And if you are going to be my husband someday, I want to give you children. You are really good with Kaelen."

"No kids," he stated with a stern voice.

I turned back on my side and sighed, "We'll talk about this some other time."

"There's nothin' to talk about."

He moved to put his arm back around me before I said, "Don't touch me."

"Why?" I felt his body move.

I turned onto my back again and asked, "What if you got me pregnant?"

"Not gonna happen," he stated matter-of-factly.

"What if it did?" I asked.

"It won't."

"If we're still together many years from now, it will happen." I turned onto my side again and hoped he got the message.

"I don't wanna talk about this," Zell started in an angry voice. "Let's just lay here and enjoy each other's company."

A few minutes later, I said, "If it comes to it, Seifer or Squall could always donate their sperm so I can have more children."

"Hyne damn it!" Zell shouted and hit the mattress beside him.

He started to get up, but I grabbed onto his arm. "Zell!"

He yanked his arm out of my grasp and climbed off the bed. "I need to get out of here before I say something I shouldn't say!"

"Zell! Wait!" My cries went unnoticed as Zell walked out of the room. I erupted in tears and sobs when he didn't come back, and eventually, I fell asleep.