Chapter Title taken from the song "Breakdown" by Breaking Benjamin.
Quil stumbled home, his mind awash with guilt. I never should have let it get that far, God I'm an idiot, he chastised himself. He kicked at the loose gravel on the side of the road in frustration. He had to put a stop to this now. There was no if ands or buts about it. It was getting too intense, going to far. Kissing was one thing, but this? This was so far beyond the realm of what was appropriate that he could barely wrap his mind around it. He slammed into his house and stormed down to his bedroom. He had to shower, he could smell Claire all over himself. The worst part of it was, deep, deep down inside, he was pleased and some what still aroused by her scent. He would take two showers. Just to be sure. He ripped his clothes off and grabbed his ratty sweats. He turned to leave the room when suddenly every hair on the back of his neck stood up. The breeze floated through his open window, and he instinctively sniffed deeply. Suddenly all thoughts of Claire were pushed to the back recesses of his mind. Vampire.
Quil raced out of his room, down the hallway and threw the door of the house open. Oh yeah, vampire all right. God, how had he not noticed it before? The scent was strong….and close. He ran into the woods behind his house and taking a deep breath, he phased. He sniffed again. The bloodsuckers trail was leading into the mountains.
Anyone here?
No response. Wasn't anyone on patrol today? He knew that patrol had been uneventful the last few months, but where was everyone? The wind kicked up again and the sickening smell of the vampire flooded his nose. Quil's heart pounded with adrenaline. His mouth filled with saliva that dripped from his muzzle in ropey runners. He threw his head back and howled.
Almost immediately he wasn't alone.
It's heading north, Collin said. I've got the trail over here.
Did I miss the party? Leah's voice joined in.
Think it's the Cullen's? Brady asked.
No, Jake would have said if they were coming back with him and Nessie. Quil sniffed again. Besides this smells nothing like them.
Jake and Nessie were in Juneau visiting Nessie's parents. They weren't due back for at least another week.
Everyone listen up. Brady, Collin and Leah you head northwest. Quil and Embry you come with me north east. We'll cut the leech off at the point and block any escape. Divide and conquer Sam spoke up.
Sam's voice caused Quil to take pause. Oh God I can't think about what just happened.
What just happened?
Ummm…..I'm a little teapot short and stout. Here is my handle here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout. Tip me over and pour me out. I'm a little teapot short and stout….try that mothballs thing of Seth's. Suddenly Quil's mind was filled with the images of his and Seth's conversation from a few nights ago.
OH MY GOD! I really did NOT need to know that about my brother!
SHIT! I'm a little teapot short and stout. Here is my handle here is my spout….
Sam can I have your permission to kill him? Brady piped up. Not only did I not need to know that little tidbit, but if he keeps singing that song I'm going to lose my mind.
Get in line Brady, I have first dibs. Leah snarled.
Nobody's killing anyone. But Quil, I swear to God if you don't stop singing, I might change my mind.
Hey sorry I'm late. Did I miss anything? Seth's voice entered their minds.
Check it out, Mothballs decided to show up. Embry snickered.
EMBRY!
Hey it wasn't me! Talk to your buddy Quil over there.
God Damn it Quil! I told you to guard that with your life!
Sorry, it slipped out during verses of I'm A Little Teapot.
You're an ass. That's the last time I ever try to help you out.
Well it didn't help anyway! God the look on Claire's face when she cam…ptown races sing this song do dah do dah. Camptown races five miles long oh dah do dah day.
The snarling behind Quil was so loud, a surprised yelp burst from his throat.
What did you just say?
Ummm…oh dah do dah day?
Not that.
I don't know what you mean.
You know what I mean. What the hell did you do?
I didn't do anything!
Sam ran up beside Quil and sniffed deeply. I can smell Claire all over you!
It's nothing, nothing happened. Quil's protest meant nothing. He tried to stop it, but the images of his morning with Claire flooded his mind. He mentally winced.
Holy shit! Brady shouted.
Ugh, Leah groaned. Quil you're killing me today.
Quil, stop right now.
But we're on a mission. I mean the vamp is going to get away.
NOW! Sam's voice rang in Quil's head.
Quil skidded to a halt. In front of him Sam slid to a stop and turned to stare at Quil.
You are going to phase. You are going to get the hell out of my sight.
Sam, I…
Quil, right now you are lucky I'm in control of myself enough to not kill you.
Sam this is ridiculous. I mean you're going to punish me now? In the middle of a hunt? Come on.
Quil, phase and go back to my house and wait. That's an order.
Sam let out a low growl. The walk will do you good.
Quil shook his great head once in disgust. He concentrated on phasing, ripped his sweatpants off his leg, threw them on, and began his long walk back.
"Quil? What are you doing back?"
Emily and Kim were in the kitchen when Quil stormed into the house.
"Sam made me leave," Quil growled. He slumped into one of the kitchen chairs and sighed. He noticed the two women looking at him strangely. "What?" he snapped.
Emily made a face. "Nothing, just….he must be pretty upset." She said slowly. "To make you come back."
"Well I don't care. I mean this is ridiculous. They're out there hunting the vampire I found and I'm stuck in the kitchen with you chicks yakking."
"Hey, can the attitude." Emily frowned.
Quil sighed again. "Sorry. I just….I think Sam is going to kill me."
"Why would Sam want to kill you?" Kim looked at Quil, confused.
"Because he you know….saw something in my head that pissed him off." Quil muttered.
Emily raised her eyebrows. "Really?"
"Yeah and it wasn't even my fault. I was an innocent bystander in the whole you know….thing." Quil waved his arms helplessly.
Emily licked her lips. "Really." She said again.
Quil groaned. "No." He stood up and began pacing around the small kitchen.
Emily and Kim jumped out of his way.
"This is so insane. I mean, what business is it of his anyway? He doesn't own me, I'm my own man. I don't care what he thinks. I don't care what any of you think." He stabbed his finger in the direction of the women. "I mean, I can do whatever I want. He's not my boss."
"Well technically-" Emily began but Quil cut her off.
"I mean I made one mistake." Quil's voice began to rise in pitch, panic setting in. "I'm almost positive it won't ever happen again. And if it does, who cares? I don't care. I DON'T CARE! Oh God, I do care!" Quil collapsed into the kitchen chair again and buried his head in his arms.
"I really do think he might kill me," Quil muttered. "And if he doesn't, then Sharon will. I've totally betrayed everyone's trust. I'm a horrible person."
Emily gave a pointed look to Kim. Kim nodded and left the kitchen.
Emily sat in the chair next to Quil and scrutinized him. "What happened?"
"I am not talking about this with you." Quil said, disgusted.
"Look, you have five minutes to convince me to talk to Sam when he get's back. Start talking."
Quil looked up, his eyes swimming with tears. "Something happened with me and Claire," he whispered.
"I gathered," Emily said quietly.
"I wanted to stop, I did, but then I didn't want to stop and then it was just happening and then it was too late to even think about stopping, and even if I had tried to stop it, I had no control over my body, like I was just frozen. Like my brain just disconnected from my body. I was brainless. I had no brain. Well I had a brain but it wasn't in my head." Quil's words tumbled out in a rushed jumble.
Emily sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Quil please tell me you didn't sleep with my niece."
Quil shook his head. "No, we didn't sleep together but…..it was still pretty bad."
"Quil, you have got to stop this. Now."
Quil took a shuddering breath. "I know," he said quietly. "I just don't know how. I mean I want to stop. My mind screams stop, but my body and God, my heart. They don't want to stop. I love her. And worse, I want her."
"Maybe you should just take a step back you know? Take a break. Not see her for a little while."
Quil's eyes widened and he shook his head vehemently. "I can't do that, I can't be apart from her. It would kill me. I can't….no. Even if I could Claire wouldn't stand for it. Could you stay away from Sam? It's not fair to even ask me that."
"Quil, you have to do something. You can't keep going on like this. You need to be the responsible one and if you can't do that, well…..then maybe you need to go away for a little while."
Quil shook his head again. "No." He said stubbornly.
"Then you need to grow up. Now. Get control of yourself. You're not a boy anymore, you're a man. You have got to start acting like one." Emily sighed. "Go home. I'll talk to Sam. But I'm serious Quil. You need to stop this."
Quil swiped angrily at the tears leaking from his eyes. "I know," he whispered hoarsely.
He stood up and dragged himself from Sam and Emily's. His brain was on overload, totally fried. He couldn't string two thoughts together. He knew he didn't want to go home, so blindly, he let his feet lead the way.
"Hey there sug-" Haley's greeting died on her lips. "Jesus," She said softly. "Um, you a, you want a beer?" She tried to recover.
Quil slumped onto a bar stool. "Sure," he muttered.
Haley grabbed a beer, set it in front of Quil and then leaned on the bar in front of him. "You know we have a no shirt, no shoes, no service policy," she said.
Quil looked down at himself. His feet and legs were mud caked and spatters of mud streaked his chest. "Hmm, I forgot I guess," he said.
Haley nodded her head. "Yeah I guess I can see how you could forget." She paused. "Except that I can't. What in the hell were you doing?"
Quil just shrugged and chugged his beer. "Running," he grunted.
"Barefoot?"
"Obviously."
Haley raised her eyebrows. "Not very talkative today, huh? Okay. Don't worry, I'll get you all liquored up and you'll be spilling your guts in no time."
"Good luck with that," Quil muttered.
"Snotty too," Haley said. "Ohh this is going to be fun." She rubbed her hands together and smiled. "I love a challenge."
Three hours several beers and a few Southern Comforts later, Quil leaned forward on the bar and motioned Haley over.
"Ready to talk, if you're even capable of speech right now?" She asked him.
"I'm fine," Quil informed her.
"Well you're a big guy, but you've put away quite a few."
Quil waved his hand in a negative gesture and made a face. "I'm totally okay," he said. "So you ready to hear my problem? Give me some of that Trudoe advice?"
"Sure thing sugar. I'm all ears."
Quil sighed. "Okay. You remember when we were…..together?"
Haley rolled her eyes. "Quil we used to sleep together. Sex does not a relationship make."
"Well…whatever. Remember how I told you I couldn't do it anymore because my heart belonged to someone else?"
"Of course I remember. I was pretty pissed about losing the best sex I'd ever had….at that point," she said with a wink.
"Well the girl, the one who has my heart? She's a little…..young."
Haley frowned. "What do you mean? I mean you're twenty….what? How old are you? You know it's weird but seriously, I don't think you have changed one iota since I've met you."
"Technically, I'm twenty-eight. Listen, before I say anything else you have to promise to not freak out or you know, judge me or anything okay? Can you promise me that?"
"Well I'm going to try, but with that kind of statement you're sort of setting yourself up, don't you think?"
"Just hear me out. Okay so this girl, she's young. Like a lot younger than me."
"Quil I've known you ten years and you've been telling me about this girl for almost that same amount of time. I mean you tend to be private about it, but whenever you would off handedly mention her, you'd light up like a little sparkler. So I mean….how much younger than you can she be?"
Quil sighed. "Okay, this is the part where you can't freak out."
"Okay.." Haley said slowly.
Quil leaned even closer and whispered. "She's fourteen."
"WHAT?!"
"You said you weren't going to freak out!"
"Yeah but Quil, I mean Jesus," Haley breathed. "You have been talking about this girl for ten years. TEN YEARS! That means she was like….eww God four-years-old when you and I met." Haley backed up a few steps a look of disgust on her face.
"It's not like that, it's not what you think," Quil protested.
"Well then, umm, Quil what is it like? 'Cause no offense, I am a little freaked out and quite frankly disgusted by this whole conversation right now."
"Okay, look. When I was sixteen, I was sort of….promised to this girl, or she was promised to me, however you want to look at it."
"What the hell, did this reservation turn Hindu when I wasn't looking?"
"No, no it's…..it's not like an arranged marriage. Just, okay this is going to sound really crazy.."
"This whole thing is crazy," Haley said.
"When I saw Claire for the first time……I knew she was my soul mate. Don't ask me how, I just, I did. And I did not think of her in a sexual way….at all. I mean AT ALL. I was like a nanny slash big brother, you know? I mean that's what our relationship was."
"Was?"
"Well like I said, she's fourteen now. And she's…..she thinks she's ready for more of a relationship."
"More of a relationship? What the hell Quil?"
"Yeah, so you know we've been dating a little. But the problem is she keeps pushing for more. And today, we…..well lets just say got very….friendly."
"Oh my God, do I even want to know what in the hell you are referring to?"
"No, no we didn't…..we didn't sleep together, but uhhh, there was some touching. A lot of touching that you know resulted in…well you know."
Haley had a horrified look on her face. "Quil, I'm sorry but this….this is sick."
"Look….I love her. And she loves me."
"Love? Would you listen to yourself? She is still a child!"
"Okay, I'm trying to explain myself here and you're making it really difficult."
"I'm making it difficult? Quil you're telling me about your sexual activity with a fourteen-year-old girl. You're lucky I haven't called the cops yet."
"Listen God damn it, I'm trying to explain this to you. I'm trying to put the brakes on this and she's the one who keeps pushing and pushing, and the problem is…I love her. She's my soul mate. When she's hurting, I'm hurting. When she's upset I'm upset. And I keep upsetting her, because she wants this so badly and I keep telling her I don't want it, but….I do. I do want it…her."
Haley held up her hands. "Quil, you need to stop like right now. I honestly don't think I can listen to this anymore. I….am just having a hard time looking at you right now without wanting to puke."
And that was when the last tether inside Quil snapped. The one person he thought he could trust, the one person he thought wouldn't judge him, the one person he thought might be able to help him believed he was just as sick and twisted as he thought he was. He felt all the guilt, all the anger, all the disgust, every bad thing he thought about himself bubble up to the surface and explode from every orifice of his body.
"What like you're so much better?" He snapped at her.
"Excuse me?"
"You're a fucking bartender. You've been a fucking bartender for ten years. You still single, probably because you're afraid to have a real relationship."
"This coming from the guy who's dating a fourteen-year-old," Haley snapped.
"At least I have something, something that's real. Whether you believe it or not, Claire loves me. We are going to get married. What do you have? Other than a string of meaningless one night stands?"
"Fuck you Quil! You were one of those meaningless one nights stands, remember. It just lasted two years."
"Yeah who knows how many other guys you were fucking at the same time as me!"
Haley took a deep breath. "Okay you know what. You just need to calm down."
Quil scoffed. "Well if I was a slut like you I guess I could go right ahead and calm down all over the God damn reservation."
Haley shook her head, tears streaming down her face. "You know what? I don't deserve this. I do NOT deserve this. Just get out. Just get the fuck out of my face and out of my bar."
Quil flew up, the bar stool he had been sitting on over turned and skidded across the floor. "FINE." He stormed towards the door.
"Fuck you!" Haley shouted after him.
"Right back at you!" Quil yelled as he punched the door of the bar open, busting it off it's hinges.
He burst onto the street, his entire body trembling. He ran as fast as he could, his bare feet pounding into the ground. He made it a few miles before he slowed. He pulled himself up and bent over, trying to get himself under some sort of control. He took big whooping breaths and slowly his body stopped trembling. He remained bent over, his eyes closed. After a moment he straightened up. He could still feel his anger pulsing all through his body, but he knew now he wasn't going to phase. The sky was overcast and rain was already drizzling down. As he stood not moving, there was a crash of thunder and the sky opened up the rain pouring down, drenching him. Quil turned his face up to the sky and let the rain rush over him, praying it would wash all of his anguish away.
"Quil thank God you're here. Claire is hysterical. Sam was here…." Sharon trailed off.
Quil stood on the back porch, drenched, mud spattered, eyes wild.
"What the hell happened to you?" Sharon put a hand over her mouth.
"I need to speak to Claire," Quil said slowly, trying to keep his voice under control.
"I…oh…. Quil…I don't…I don't think that's a good idea right now. Maybe you should go home. Come back tomorrow."
Quil shook his head violently from side to side. "I need to see her now."
Sharon backed up a step from the door, fear playing on her face. "Quil I think you need to calm down first. I don't think you should see her like this."
"I want to see him. I need to talk to him," Claire's emotion choked voice said from behind Sharon.
"Claire I don't think this is a good idea." Sharon protested.
"Sharon I'm fine. I've got it under control," Quil said quietly.
"You can talk through the door, okay? I just I don't want you to come in."
Quil shrugged. "Whatever you want Sharon."
"No mom, I'm going out there." Claire pushed past her mother and stepped out onto the porch. She turned back towards the door. "Mom I'm fine, we'll be fine. Please leave us alone a minute."
Hesitantly, Sharon walked away. "Five minutes," she said.
Claire looked up at Quil, her eyes questioning. "Quil," she whispered.
Quil looked at her, through her. "Claire, I can't be with you anymore." He said, his voice breaking.
Claire's eyes widened in shock. "What?" She gasped.
Quil barked out a laugh choked with tears. "I can't do this. I mean I think I'm going insane. I actually think I'm going fucking insane." He laughed again, this one edged with hysteria.
"Quil don't say that. You can't mean that," Claire sobbed.
Quil shook his head. "It has been confirmed that I am in fact a disgusting pervert for being with you, so I don't want to be anymore. I don't want to hate myself like this anymore."
"Quil, this is crazy. I love you and you love me. There is nothing perverted about it!"
"What happened this morning. Yeah, all kinds of bad. I can't let that happen again and the only way to do that is to stop seeing you."
"Stop saying that!" Claire shrieked. She clapped her hands over her ears. "I don't want to hear this!"
Quil grabbed Claire's wrists, wrenching them off her ears. "You need to hear this."
"No, no I won't! I won't listen to it!"
Quil's eyes suddenly hardened. "If you can't handle the big girl situations, you shouldn't get into them….little girl." He spat.
He dropped Claire's wrists and abruptly turned away, walking off the porch.
He heard the thump as Claire dropped to her knees on the porch, crying his name.
It took all his willpower to not turn around. To not go and take it all back. He had to get away, he could feel himself getting ready to fall apart and he didn't want Claire to see that. He needed for her to not see that. He began to run again. When he had made it as far away as he could, he skidded to a stop. For one second he thought he was going to be okay. Then he leaned over and retched. While it was happening he had the flittering thought that is was odd because he hadn't been sick in fourteen years. He didn't think werewolves could get sick. But this wasn't from illness. It was from heartbreak. He actually thought his heart would rip from his chest, shoot up his throat and explode out of his mouth into a bloody pulp all over the ground. When nothing more would come up, he stood and dry heaved, his stomach actually beginning to ache from the effort.
When he was sure the dry heaving was over, he straightened up. His body felt disassociated from it's whole, his legs were rubber, his arms lead. If he could actually pull an individual thought out of his mind it would be a miracle. He suddenly felt numb. His face went slack and blank. Slowly he began a shambling walk, not aware of his surroundings, not aware of anything other than the hollow spot in his chest where his heart had been.
"Quil, where in the hell have you been? Sam's totally pissed. He's been looking for you everywhere. I figured you were at Ruby's so I told him I'd check over there, but I didn't actually look. I figured you'd want to be alone…." Embry's rambling trailed off. "Quil? Quil?"
Quil stood in the living room, dripping mud and water onto the floor. His eyes were glazed, his face a blank mask.
Embry walked over to him. "Quil? Hey buddy?" He waved his hand in front of Quil's eyes. "SETH! SETH GET IN HERE!"
Seth came jogging down the hallway, cell phone to his ear. "Oh thank God. Jake, he's here, hang on a sec." Seth took the phone away from his ear. "Quil, you okay man?"
Embry looked at Seth, fear in his eyes. He reached forward and tentatively poked Quil on the arm. "Christ I think he's broken," he murmured. "QUIL!" Embry snapped his fingers in front of Quil's eyes.
"Quil?" Seth eyes searched for something, anything in Quil's. He slowly put the phone back up to his ear. "Jake this is bad. Yeah I think you should. Okay. Okay. Yeah. All right I will. Bye." Seth closed his cell phone and looked at Embry. "Jake's coming home. He'll be over as soon as they get back." He looked at Quil again. "Quil, man. Can you say something? Please?"
"Shower." Quil's voice was flat and lifeless.
"What?"
"I need a shower."
Seth nodded. "Okay, yeah good idea. Go take a shower."
Quil nodded his head once up and once down. He slowly shambled down the hallway towards the bathroom.
Seth and Embry exchanged concerned looks. "You know how we always joke…about Quil pulling his freak outs over Claire?" Embry said quietly. "I don't really think it's so funny right now."
Seth nodded. "Yeah. There's nothing funny about this."
They both started when the shower kicked on. "Maybe he'll be better after he showers. Maybe it'll you know, wake him up a little." Seth said hopefully.
"I sure as hell hope so. I mean…..he looks pretty out of it. Think we should call Sam?"
Seth shook his head. "No. Let's wait for Jake."
"Okay," Embry took a deep shuddering breath. "Okay."
Quil stood in the shower, the hot water pouring over his body. He felt totally numb. He wondered if this was what it was like to be crazy. Maybe they would have him committed. He wondered what it would be like to spend the rest of his life in a loony bin. He briefly imagined white rooms with padded walls, his large arms strapped behind his back in a straight jacket. Then he realized that if he was crazy, really crazy, he probably wouldn't be aware that he was crazy. It probably didn't work that way. He suddenly cackled out an hysterical laugh. Imagine a crazy person who knew he was crazy. His laugh cut off into a choked sob.
That one sob was what did it. Everything that had happened rushed back in. One minute he was living in the furthest corner of his mind, content to feel nothing. The next he was on his knees in the shower his entire body shaking from the sobs being wrenched out of him. He didn't know how long he cried, other than to register that the water in the shower went from hot to luke warm to cool to icy. When the sobbing died down, he sat on the floor of the shower, his knees pulled up to his chest, arms wrapped around them, rocking.
"Maybe we should just you know….leave him alone." Seth said, worry etched in his voice. "I mean Jake will be here in a few hours."
Embry shook his head. "He's been in that shower for almost two hours. Maybe he drowned. I think we should go in."
"He drowned? In a shower? Don't be a total moron."
Embry looked indignant. "Well at the very least he's probably pretty pruned. We should get him out of there."
"I think we should leave him."
"Well I don't care what you think. He can't stay in the shower all night! I mean, I know he's lost it, but it's not healthy."
They both jumped back from the door when they heard the shower turn off.
"Okay, see this is good. He's going to come out on his own. He's going to be fine." Seth gave a forced smile.
"Dude, I really don't think he's going to be fine," Embry said. "I mean did you see his face? It was vacant. Like there was some big neon vacancy sign flashing on his forehead. It was totally creepy."
"No, he's going to be fine!" Seth insisted.
"I am going to be fine," Quil said, opening the door.
Seth and Embry both started and then laughed uncomfortably. "Of course you are," Embry placated.
Quil gave a short bark of laughter. "Yeah I mean I'm not going to do what you think I'm going to do which is totally you know like FREAK OUT!" He waved his arms spastically in the air. "No, I'm going to be just fine. Just fine. I mean, I don't even like white rooms that much."
Embry and Seth exchanged nervous glances. "What's that buddy?" Seth asked quietly.
Quil shook his head. "Besides I'd totally be able to bust out of that jacket. I mean I'd just phase and bam, you know….buckles everywhere." He gave a maniacal giggle.
"Whoa," Embry breathed.
"Hey, umm, Quil?" Seth spoke softly. "Jake's coming over to see you, okay?"
Quil gave Seth a huge toothy grin. "My buddy Jake? Awesome." He glanced down at his naked form. "Guess I should get some clothes on huh?" He turned and marched purposefully to his bedroom.
"Okay, screw Jake, I think we need to call a psychiatrist….like immediately," Embry whispered.
"Just…..God. I don't even know what in the hell to do right now." Seth whispered back.
Before Embry could reply, Quil strolled out of his room dressed in baggy jeans and a black tee shirt. Embry and Seth pressed themselves up against the wall as Quil ambled past them to the kitchen. They stood in the hallway looking at each other until they heard Quil in the kitchen.
"What the hell is this?" He shouted.
Seth pushed Embry towards the kitchen.
"I'm not going in there! Did you see his eyes? They're all crazy." Embry hissed.
"Just get in there!"
They both walked towards the kitchen, Seth poking Embry in the back when he stopped at the end of the hallway. Embry threw a dirty look at Seth over his shoulder and slowly stepped into the kitchen.
"Umm what's up?" Seth asked.
"We have no beer," Quil said. He was standing in front of the open refrigerator door. "I'm outraged. I am now outraged. I can't have Jake come over to hang out and not have any beer. What kind of host would that make me? Which one of you drank it all?"
"He did!" Seth and Embry said at the same time, each one pointing at the other.
Quil shook his head. "Well, no matter. I'll just go get some more." He closed the fridge door and walked towards the front door.
"Whoa, whoa," Seth jumped in front of Quil. "I don't think Jake's going to mind that we don't have beer, man. Why don't you just hang out with us. You know here. In the living room." Seth glanced around wildly. "We can watch a movie!" He pointed out the DVDs.
"Yeah, yeah," Embry joined Seth. "We can just hang out till Jake gets here."
Quil frowned and looked at them both.
Embry's eyes widened when he saw the look Quil was giving them. "Oh God, Oh God," he muttered. He backed out of Quil's way slowly, put his hand up to shield his face and hissed to Seth, "Do not engage in eye contact, do not engage in eye contact."
"I'm going……to get…..some beer." Quil said slowly.
"Quil, I really think you should just-"
"I'M GOING TO GET SOME BEER!"
Seth jumped. "Okay, okay," he moved out of Quil's way.
"Thanks. Okay great I'll be right back." Quil smiled at them both and made his way out of the house.
Once he had left, Seth and Embry both collapsed onto chairs. "Holy shit," Embry muttered. "That was ten kinds of crazy."
Seth nodded. "For once, I agree with you."
The moment he walked out of the house, Quil entirely forgot where he meant to go. He stood at the end of the driveway for a moment thinking, but it just wouldn't come to him. It was still drizzling slightly as he slowly walked down the road. Since he couldn't remember where he was going, he decided to just walk until he ended up somewhere. Maybe then he would remember. After a while of aimless walking, Quil was surprised to find himself at the cliffs. Had he meant to come there? He didn't really know. He walked along the trail to the highest cliff and stood at the edge. He wondered why he felt like he was drowning. He was on dry land after all. It was a strange feeling really. To feel the water filling your lungs, limbs floating, vision blurry. He held his arms out to his sides and let the rain pelt him. The wind was stronger up here and it rippled his soaked shirt like a flag. He turned his head to the sky and closed his eyes. The drowning feeling got heavier. He thought maybe the only way to make it go away was to reverse the sensation. Maybe he wouldn't feel like he was drowning on land if he was in the water. Quil yelled at the top of his lungs, a guttural primitive noise, no words. Without opening his eyes he took a few steps back, then pushed forward and jumped.
A/N: Hey guys, don't worry if Quil pisses you off in this chapter. He just needed a good mental breakdown. I have it on good authority that he'll snap out of it very soon!