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This is sick. Horrible. Terrible. Evil. Awful. Heinous. Twisted. Cruel. Sadistic. Horrific. Terrible. Mean.

Bad.

I'm running out of vocab words here. Let's leave it at I'm not pleased with Aro at the moment. I think that may be a perfect concise summary of my emotions.

I scream again, wordlessly, and punch the walls. I think the phrase for this reaction is temper tantrum.

How dare he? How dare he? This is my life. This is my heart he's breaking for fun.

I knew Aro was crazy, but I think he has officially outdone himself.

I'm sure he'll be pleased. After all, he finds pain amusing.

Isn't that some kind of mental disorder? Can vampires get mental disorders?

Shouldn't the other Volturi not let him get away with this?

Or do they share his taste for screwing up people's lives?

I have to see Edward. I have to- I can't live without him. It's just a fact. I need him. I can not live without him in my life. I need to see him, to touch him, to hold him close, to know he's mine, to love him. It is a need every bit as potent as the old ones for air and water, now superseded by blood.

My love and desire for him is only compounded with how totally pissed I am at the moment. I need to defy Aro almost as much as I need to see Edward.

I have to get out of here. I have to. I can't live without him. Not for another second.

Just let them try to stop me. I can use my power if I need to. But I won't. I'm the best warrior of any vampire here. I know that- I've taken them all down at one time or another.

I am idly amused by the idea that I am the scariest thing here, that someone as formerly helpless as Bella Swan, a human among vampires, can defeat any one of the royal vampires' guards with both hands tied behind my back.

It's rather a satisfying idea.

If they all attack at once, I can use my power, sure. But I won't need to. I doubt anyone will stop me. They're all scared.

I killed Jane and Alec, after all.

And besides, they'll just assume I'm on Aro's business.

I leave the room quietly, almost tiptoeing. I want to go unnoticed. Though I'm an awful liar, I try to spread a falsehood with my body language. I send a message that I'm not doing anything wrong.

It is believed.

I stop in my room and slip on a long, dark cloak, the classic uniform of the Volturi.

As the garment falls to the floor, past my feet, I permit myself a brief, triumphant, anticipatory smile.

I will see Edward soon.

Then I leave that room also, walking silently through the hallways. No one stops me. I am not prevented.

I slip from the tower, walk freely through the streets, and make it out of the city.

I have shed the cloak and am running from Volterra when I remember.

Alice.

I have no choice. Immediately, I turn and run for the interior of Volterra. I don't know yet what I will find on my return. Will they not have even noticed my departure? That's a possibility, though not a very likely one. Will they have killed her already?

Despite my pessimistic brain, I admit that's no more likely. She's an asset. So is Jasper. And so am I. They aren't willing to risk alienating all of us so Aro can play his sick little games.

"Edward," I whisper. "I love you." It would be crazy to pretend he can hear me, and yet I do. I imagine he can help me now. "What do I do?'

I run purposelessly and inanely through the dark and unfamiliar streets- I rarely travel the city, except to hunt. I don't know much or anything about how to navigate, and certainly not in my panicked state. I dash aimlessly through the cobblestoned streets, only entwining myself further in this catacomb.

A human mother rushes by, with her two children clinging, each to one hand. She notices my distress, and, kindly, stops and says, "What can I do to help you, dear? You look lost." It isn't in English, of course, but I speak Italian now.

"I… I don't… the clock tower?" I hope I can find my way home- I shudder at the word- from there.

"Just through there, dear. Here, let me show you."

"I can't thank you enough!" or pray enough for her to leave. God, I can't stand the smell of it! I can feel the warm venom rushing down my throat, hear their hearts pounding- they sense danger, even if they can't imagine that this slender girl poses any. They know, in the repressed instinctive part of their minds, that they fear me, but they refuse to act on that knowledge.

Just as I know when I see them one thing so clearly. Food. I should feed on them, I know. The predatory parts of me insist it. But consciously, I say instead people. They have lives and dreams and hopes, and I am no one to take it away from them.

Never mind the smell.

The little boy on her left promptly plops his thumb in his mouth as his mother leads me to the central court where the tower is. "You see it? Right over there."

"Thank you so much."

"Not a problem, dear, not a problem at all. Now, I'm going to head on home. You all right?" she asks kindly.

"Yeah, I am. Thank you again."

"You're welcome."

The woman leaves. I see her head off toward the direction from whence she came and feel a brief pride for not killing her.

And then I realize I'm still lost. I don't have the faintest idea where to go. "Great," I whisper, and then I hear something so unexpected that I gasp aloud into the dark, cool air of the night.

"Left, love. It's to the left."

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