Friends and Lovers
By Misha

Chapter Twenty-Three

Author's Notes- Okay, this part is strange. It's all written in the form of journal entries to get into the characters minds. The next part will have more action in it and don't worry I have lot's of surprises planned for the New Year. Well, that's all, I hope you enjoy the story!

Sunday, December 31st 2000, New Years Eve

Chloe sat on her bed, her diary in her hand. She was thinking about the last year and everything that had happened.

After a moment she finally began to write.

Dear Diary,

It's 6:30 on New Year's Eve and Shawn will be here soon to take me to Phillip's party. I know, deja vu, huh? But it won't be like last time, there are no tensions threatening to burst. At least none that revolve around me.

Mimi and Jason are still pretty tense, but I guess that's understandable. I feel kind of bad that my love life is so wonderful while Mimi's is falling apart, but I guess that's life.

Anyway, the last year has had a lot of ups and downs. Like, the thing with Shawn, I really do wish I could have prevented it, but I guess it was inevitable, I'm just glad we're starting to work things out. I can't imagine not having him in my life.

But, you know, the ups out numbered the downs. Especially Phillip, he's the best thing that happened to me in the last year, maybe ever. He makes me feel like there's nothing I can't do as long as he's by my side.

I know sixteen's young and we haven't been together very long, but I know that I love him, and I know I was right in giving him my virginity. It wasn't planned, it wasn't expected, but it was perfect, because it was Phillip.

Mom always told me to wait until I was in love to make love and I did. I know I love Phillip and I think I always will, but even if I don't, I'm definitely glad he was my first.

And before you ask, yes we used protection. I mean, I'm not stupid, I don't want to get pregnant. At least, not now. I mean, when we're older and out of college, it might be nice to have Phillip's children...

Okay, I can't believe I just wrote that, I'm too young to be even thinking about that, but it would be nice wouldn't it?

Anyway, I should go, Shawn'll be here in a few minutes and I have to finish get ready.

Happy New Year,
Chloe

Chloe put down her pen and got off her bed.

She thought about what she had written and sighed. It had certainly been an interesting year, hopefully 2001 was a little less eventful. She wasn't sure she could take another year like the one that had just passed.
* * * * *

Shawn glanced at his clock, he had twenty minutes before he had to pick up Chloe. On impulse he picked up his journal and began writing.

New Years Eve, 2000,

Well, it's New Years Eve and guess where I'm spending it? At the Kiriakis mansion. Fun, huh?

I know, I know, after everything that happened the last time I went to one of Phillip's parties I would ever want to go to one again? Because Belle and Chloe convinced me. What guy can resist when both of them turn on the charm? Unfortunately, not me.

I wish I could because I don't think I want to watch Chloe and Phillip be all happy and in love.

Don't get me wrong, I've given up any romantic hopes I had for Chloe and I and have accepted that I'll never be anything except the best friend, but that doesn't mean I have to like watching her in someone else's arms.

There's also the fact that I don't like Phillip. I mean, I'm trying for Chloe's sake, but it's so hard to see him as anything but the self-centered, conceited jerk he's been for so long. Still, maybe he has changed. I don't know.

I don't really care. Chloe's my friend and she always will be, I'll put up with Phillip, but I don't think I'll ever be friends with him. After all how can I be friends with the guy who won the heart of the girl I've loved for so long?

Well, I've got to pick Chloe up. More later.

Shawn put down his journal and thought about what he had written.

It was true, he honestly doubted he'd ever like Phillip, though he'd try for Chloe's sake. Just like he was trying to move on for her sake.
* * * * *

Mimi held her pen in her hand and thought about what to write.

How did she convey her feelings about everything that was going on adequately? It was such a mess.

But she knew that this was the best way to get it all out and dealt with, so after a long moment she began.

Dear Diary,

It's New Years Eve and I can't help wonder what the New Year will bring.

I also can't help but think of Jason. He'll be at the party tonight, of course, and I wonder how things will be between us. We haven't talked since Christmas Eve, we're both trying to figure out our feelings.

I honestly don't even know how I feel. I've loved him for so long, but he scares me, or at least his temper does, and I don't know if I can't trust him not to hurt me. I want to, I want nothing more than to go back to him, but it's more than complicated than that.

Everything is complicated now, for all of us. I remember when Chloe and I were kids playing with our dolls and dreaming of growing up. Well, now that we're almost there, it's nothing like we imagined. I mean, I always thought it would be so much fun, I never imagined all the pain. Just goes to show that nothing is like it seems, huh?

Well, I just reread what I wrote. It's really bitter, so I'm going to stop now.

Bye,
Mimi

Mimi set her diary aside as tears began to fall down her face.

Everything was so hard, these last few months had been so complicated. All she wanted was an easy solution to every thing that was going on. But one wasn't coming and she was afraid that it would be a while before she figured out away out of this mess and that scared her deeply, so she cried as a method of release.
* * * * *

Jason looked down at his journal. He rarely ever wrote in the thing, but now seemed like the perfect time.

He had a little while before he had to go to Phillip's and there was so much he just needed to get off his mind so he grabbed his journal and began to write.

It's New Years Eve and I hope that in the New Year I figure things out. Right now not knowing what will happen, what should happen, is driving me insane.

I know that I love Miriam and that I want a second chance. But I also know I screwed up royally last time and that I have a problem. I'm trying to change, but I'm terrified I won't and that things will only get worse between us. I don't want that.

I want what Phillip has. He and Chloe are so happy together, when they're together as if they don't have a single care in the world outside one another.

Miriam and I were never like that, we were always intense. Correction, I was always intense. Whatever problems we had, they were my fault, my behaviour caused them.

Now, I just have to find a solution to the problem and figure out if it's too late or if I can have another chance with her.

He put down the pen, unable to write anymore. He wasn't a touchy-feely kind of guy, not even with his journal and he felt uncomfortable bearing his soul like that, even to himself. So, instead of write more, he stood up and decide to get ready for the party.

He could think more about Mimi and their relationship later, preferably when he was drunk.
* * * * *

Belle looked down at her diary, which was nestled on her lap. She couldn't explain it, she had just gotten the urge to write everything she was feeling down. Which was why she was sitting on her bed half-dressed, pouring her thoughts out onto paper.

Dearest Diary,

It's New Years Eve and I wonder next year will bring. I'm not even going to hope that it'll bring a romance with Shawn, because I know that he's clueless.

Why? Why can't he see how much he means to me? It's not fair. I know we could be happy. If only he'd realize...

Oh, well, I guess I should not hoping for the impossible. That's going to be my resolution, you know, to accept the fact that Shawn is never going to notice me.

Great resolution, huh? But practical, after all I had to realize it sometime.

That's all for now,
Belle

Belle put away her diary and stood up to finish getting ready.

There, she had written down what she had known for ages, that Shawn Brady was never going to notice her. The kiss on Christmas Eve had been nothing more than a friendly holiday kiss, she knew that and knew better than to read anything else into it, though how she wanted to.

There was nothing she wanted more than to imagine a future with Shawn, a future she knew was never going to happen.
* * * * *

Phillip looked down at his journal and after a moment decided to write a quick entry. So much had changed in the last little while and, besides Chloe, his journal was the only place he could share it.

So after a glance at the clock to check how much time he had before his guests started to arrive, he picked up the pen and began to write.

New Years Eve /00

There's so much to write, but I'm not sure how. These last few months... They've been like heaven.

Being with Chloe, knowing that she loves me, there's nothing that could ever compare to that. To her. She's everything. I know, it's hard to believe, that Phillip Kiriakis is so gone over a girl, but it's true. I love her.

I never imagined feeling this way about anyone, yet, when I'm with her it's hard to imagine not feeling this way. I know we're young, but I honestly believe what Chloe and I have is going to last. I mean, I feel as if I can see the future in her eyes and I can feel it in my heart. We might have long, hard road ahead of us, but Chloe and I will make it. I know we will.

Just as I know that the New Year will bring us even more happiness.

Well I've got to go,
Phillip

Phillip put down the pen and reread what he had written with a smile. He meant every word of it, he honestly believe that what he shared with Chloe was the real thing and that it would last.

Before he could get lost in thought, he heard the doorbell ring, announcing that the party was about to start, and hurried down the stairs.
* * * * *