Ahiru,
Your reading of this letter confirms that I am, in fact, dead. As I am not sure when you will receive this, or if you ever will, understand that I must omit certain information. I have written this letter because I know that you have given Matsuda your phone number and he will, without fail, try and contact you as soon as he is no longer under my surveillance. It is under this belief that I write this letter to you.
I will start off by saying that everything that I have done which has harmed you in some way, was solely for the prolonging of your life. I cannot say that I do not regret some of my hasty words, but they were to save you and for that I ask you to forgive me. Your departure was not my decision but the decision that was the only available to me.
After all your questions, it's ironic that I may only be given the chance to answer them in death. You asked me once where I was raised, I can tell you now that my childhood was spent in an English orphanage. However, it was not an ordinary orphanage, we were given cases to solve even though we were young, and Watari recognised the prowess I showed and it is because of him that I became a detective.
Another thing which I'm afraid I can only answer in death, is the question you asked about what I hold close to my heart. These things are not material, but are in fact the memories that I keep. I apologise for sounding somewhat clique, but if I could choose only one to remember, it would be the day we spent together at the amusement park…your smiles that day made my life worthwhile. However, I have to admit, your smiles that day sealed your fate. If it had not been for them, I may have forgotten that you have your entire life ahead of you to smile…and I may have been selfish enough to keep you by my side.
Please forgive me for my decisions, if there could have been any other way to change what has occurred, believe me when I say I would have changed this fate. I hope that this letter has not burdened you with more unanswered questions, and I hope that you will be able to advance past this and that you will have learned something from our time together. My last request to you is that you remove yourself from society for the next year, and forget about the Kira case. I know that this will be difficult for you, but please listen to me when I say that I am only thinking of your future.
I must end this soon; the bells are starting to ring louder now. I have never been gifted with farewells so I'm afraid I must end this by stating that, Detective Ahiru, I am grateful to have been given the chance to work alongside you. Your company over many nights is most appreciated and it is unfortunate that I will not be given the honour of your friendship any longer.
Best regards for the future,
L.
Tears dripped onto the paper as your suppressed emotions overwhelmed you in this moment. "Ryu-kun, you will always have my friendship and everything else that belongs to me…" you murmured, your shaking hands crumpling the paper.
You dropped it and decided that you needed to take a walk to try and clear your battling emotions. The letter fell somewhere on the floor, but your numbed senses disregarded the paper as you grabbed your coat and left the apartment you shared with your grandmother.
Walking slowly down the street, you glanced up at the sky, as though the stars would give you the helping advice you longed for. 'Even in death his words are cryptic…he said he didn't want me to leave his side, but in the end he talked to me as though I was just a work associate…'
"Did he ever love me?"
The sky stared back, seemingly unconcerned with the plights of one small human. You sighed heavily, realising that you were now never going to receive the answer to that important question. 'I thought his letter would reveal everything, that he would finally put down in words what he couldn't bring himself to say to me in person…but now I'm starting to doubt that those feelings ever existed. If you love someone, wouldn't you tell them before it was too late? But then…that's exactly like something L would do…evasive and vague until the end…'
Your head dropped and your gaze turned to the ground. It struck you that you had managed to wander into the park where you normally came to think. 'I walked all the way here out of habit, hey?'
The trees on either side of the small concrete path seemed uninviting and warned you not to enter their murky depths for fear of losing yourself in this dense forest. You stuck to the path and followed it all the way to the center of the park, where it branched off in four different directions. You wondered which way you should walk, south would take you home quickest, but north would take you by the flower beds. Deciding that you needed something to cheer you up, you wandered over to the northern path. Upon reaching the flowers, you knelt and smiled sadly at them. "It's not like you have anything more to worry about than getting enough sun and water…how great it must be to live a life so fulfilled on such few things."
Your gaze drifted across the numerous flowerbeds before it came to rest on something suspicious. Straightening, you made your way over to the farthest flowerbed. Narrowing your eyes down at the innocent plants, you swore you saw a flash of white. Leaning down, your hand searched through the flowers to grasp something thin and solid. Withdrawing your hand, you were surprised to find that in your hand was a black notebook, the words 'Death Note' scrawled untidily on its surface. You peered down at its surface, disbelieving. 'How can this be? I thought there wasn't any others!'
"About time you found it, it's been such a hassle to direct you to this place," called a rough voice.
Eyes wide, you spun around to locate the source of the voice. A tap on your shoulder caused you to pivot around again and you came to face a skull. You screamed and fell backwards, tripping over a flowerbed to unceremoniously crash to the ground. "Yeah, that's the normal reaction," the skull chuckled, its voice now taking on an amused tone.
"I know what this is," you began, glancing to the book snug in your arms, "But who and what are you?"
The skeleton stretched itself to its full height and you noted a headdress perched on top of its cranium. As it moved, the various beads and adornments rattled, causing you to immediately think of a Native American. "You know what the Death Note does, hey? I thought as much. Well, I guess it only makes this explanation easier. I suppose I should start by introducing myself…my name is Hado and I am what you humans call, a God of Death."