(After classes)

The SOS Brigade clubroom found itself quite boring at this time of day. How strange. Haruhi should have burst into the room by now, with that angelic yet very dangerous smile of hers. Dangerous, because it would foreshadow another one of her harebrained schemes which, for Asahina-san and I, would prove to be very tiresome.

To while away the time, Koizumi and I were playing yet another board game. This time, we were playing Battleship, and, as usual, he was losing. In the corner of the room nearest the bookshelf sat an unmoving Yuki Nagato, who was, as expected, reading another book.

The voluptuous Asahina-san was occupied by the stove that Haruhi had brought in so long ago. As usual, she was wearing her maid costume, which she had grown accustomed to (not that Haruhi hadn't forced her into wearing it in the first place) and was brewing us some hot tea.

"Strange. Haruhi should be here right now, with another one of her schemes," I said.

"Suzumiya-san must be preparing something extra special for us today," said Koizumi.

He smiled that annoying little smile at me as he said this. He was a better kiss-ass than any elementary school student bringing his teacher an apple. Annoying bastard.

Yet in the few times that Nagato failed us, I had no choice but to rely on Koizumi's expertise. As expected, Asahina-san was largely useless in those situations (save that time that she was a pivotal factor in reworking reality as we had known it). Of course, it was the older Asahina-san, but still Asahina-san, nevertheless. Haruhi was a natural Leeroy Jenkins, so relying on her was most certainly bound for disaster, and most of the problems were her fault in the first place! Damn her schemes.

As for Nagato… What am I explaining this stuff for? You should know everyone in this clubroom by now!

"Well, I hope something special involves getting me and Asahina-san alone in a room…"

"Kyon, you know Suzumiya-san won't like it if that happens," he said. He gave me a mischievous wink.

"Did I just say that out loud? Damn!"I silently cursed to myself. "In any case, I hope she won't force me to do some more of her tiring errands, like that time she sent me to get that accursed heater from Oomori Electronics."

Suddenly, the door burst wide open with a loud thud. "Well, speak of the devil,"I thought wryly. There she stood, in all her profound self-proclaimed glory, SOS Brigade Chief Haruhi Suzumiya.

"Okay everybody, I've got a special Brigade activity for us today. Everyone must participate. There'll be a penalty if a member is absent, so Kyon —" she glared in my direction, "—don't get any ideas."

I sighed. As expected of Haruhi, there was no way I could worm myself out of this one, without saying the words, "I am John Smith."

But now was not the time to divulge that critical piece of information.

"Okay everybody, here's what we're going to do. Koizumi, go take Mikuru-chan to the supermarket to buy the ingredients we need. The list is taped to the fridge door. Nagato, you go over to the library and borrow some books with instructions on baking cakes. We're going to bake a cake today!"

"Yes, Suzumiya-san. Asahina-san and I will be back shortly," said Koizumi, whilst flashing that sanctimonious smile of his at Haruhi, who immediately approved of Koizumi's camaraderie.

As usual, Nagato responded with a short nod that could hardly be noticed.

I then waited silently for my verdict, but I decided to preempt fate anyway.

"And what am I supposed to do today?" I inquired warily.

"Ah Kyon, you are going to stay in the clubroom with me." She smiled hugely as she said this.

"Damn it! What does that woman have in mind for me now? The only woman I want to be locked in a room with would be Asahina-san, but that's impossible at the moment, or anytime, for that matter."

The commands having been issued by the Chief, Koizumi began to move towards the door while beckoning for Asahina-san to follow him. For some reason, Asahina-san would not follow.

"What's the matter, Asahina-san?" I inquired.

"I.. I.. Uh.. I think I want to change. I don't want to go to the supermarket wearing this," she said. By this, she meant her maid costume. Apparently, she was only comfortable wearing it inside the SOS Brigade clubroom.

"Well Mikuru-chan, you're more moe than I thought," said Haruhi. "Whatever. Koizumi, go get Mikuru-chan's uniform and bring her to the ladies' room to change."

"Yes, Suzumiya-san."

Koizumi's cheerfulness began to annoy me, as usual. How could he take Haruhi's orders with a smile? Oh that's right, the happier Haruhi is, the less likely that the end of the world as we know it will come to be.

And with that, Koizumi took Asahina-san's uniform from the clothes rack, and they exited the room. Seconds after that, Nagato closed her book, stood up, and left without a single word.

And so, I was alone in the room with Haruhi. Strange. The menial tasks are usually left to me. Like in that accursed movie we made for the cultural festival a while back. Haruhi even has plans of making a Director's Cut edition, titled (well, you guessed it) "The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina: Director's Cut" featuring some of Asahina-san's more provocative poses, some of which I secretly saved on Haruhi's computer.

"What is going on?"I thought.