A/N: I told you guys that he really did have a ball named "BALL."

Is it cold in here or is it just Alana's personality? Whew, that was mean, I guess. Good thing she can't get in my head. Then again, she is kind of weird, so maybe…

No, that's just absurd. I mean, I'm awkward, too, I guess…

Shit, Alana's a fast one. I can barely keep up with her, and I'm in the best shape of my life…I think.

"Alana, wait," I said, trying to stop her speed walk. Who speed walks?

"What do you want, Punk?" Oh my god. She used my preferred name. She has definitely won some serious bonus points in the awesomeness category. Is that too Edge and Christian of me? Oh well.

"I want to know what your deal is, Alana. Why do you have to be so rude to me? We only just met. I'm a nice guy. I don't mean any harm." I think I've stated my case very clearly.

Maybe not. She's pretty much laughing in my face. Well, she looks like she's trying not to laugh, at least. But that's still just as bad as actually laughing. It still makes me feel like a dumbass for even trying to come after her.

"Um…did I say something that you found humorous?" I had to ask. Maybe I'm a funnier guy than I thought. Sweet.

"You're something else, Punk, you really are."

"Thanks!" That was a compliment, right?

"I didn't mean that as a compliment." Ooh, shot down. Damn. "But you've got some spunk. Maybe you can…"

"Maybe I can what?" Was she just about to ask me for a favor? I'll make her beg. I'll make her gravel. This is going to be amazing. I'll have her in the palm of my hand. She'll be at my mercy. I'll be a devious mastermind, plotting my revenge on her cruel, ruthless soul.

"Do you think that you could see if they'll let me out for a day? You know, we could hang out or something."

"Sure." Fuck! So much for my morals. I'm a sucker for a hot chick. At least she's not crying. I hate it when girls cry because I always have to try and make them stop. "Uh, how do I go about doing that?"

"You have to ask Phyllis," she answered. Oh no. She's got an evil smirk on her face. She knows that Phyllis isn't too fond of me. She knows…

You know, I really don't have to do this. I don't have to subject myself to Phyllis's mercy. "Yeah, I'll get right on it after this whole speech thing." What is this power that she holds over me? Gah!

"Thanks…See you in half an hour," she said, flipping her hair behind her shoulder and walking away. I hate to see her go, but I love watching her leave. Wow, I'm one cheesy bastard. I'll blame John Morrison. That's who I learned all of my pick up lines from. No wonder the only girl I could ever land was Maria.

This rehab clinic interests me for some strange reason. I walked around for a bit. Luckily, I didn't run into anyone that wanted to talk to me.

Once I turned the last corner, I was horribly, horribly wrong. "Mr. Punk, I've been looking all over for you." Yay, Phyllis! "We don't need you running around like a stampeding elephant. I want you back in the lecture hall before everyone else returns."

This lecture hall burns my eyes.

Once everyone came back in, Phyllis gave me the go ahead to continue on. "So, basically, being straight edge isn't very hard once you've got the gist of it. Yeah, there are temptations once in a while, but they're easy to turn down if you haven't had them for a while. You have no idea how many after parties I've been to and how much alcohol I've seen people consume. I guess it's just never really been my thing. And I know some guys who got so addicted to whatever they were on. They refused help and it ruined their lives, so I commend you all on making it this far. So…yeah, that's pretty much it."

I answered a couple of random questions that were asked. They were mainly along the lines of:

Where you there when Floyd Mayweather broke Big Show's nose?

Is John Cena really on steroids?

Why do you like the Cubs?

Can you get me Hulk Hogan's autograph?

Is it true that you used to be a druggie?

As you can see, most of the questions had nothing to do with the subject at hand. The only one that was at least partially relevant…Yeah, clearly that kid didn't pay attention.

So after everyone cleared out, Alana stayed for about five seconds to remind me that I needed to face Phyllis, my worst enemy. As if I could forget…

Then Alana left.

I decided to buck up and go talk to Phyllis. What harm could it do?

I strolled back up to the receptionist's desk where Phyllis had taken over again as the head bitch in charge. It was now or never.

"Um, Phyllis? I need a favor…"

"You want a favor from me? Oh, this should be priceless. What is it?" Ooh, that stung a bit.

"I was wondering if…um…"

"Does it have to do with Alana?" She's a feisty one, that Phyllis. And she's smart, too. I don't give her enough credit.

"Um…yeah, I guess. I was wondering if I could break her out of here for like a day or something."

"I like to see you suffer, Punk. I'm not going to lie. Call me cruel, but I don't care. I will find this a horrific challenge for you, and I look forward to laughing at you while you try to accomplish it."

I'm not sure whether or not I should be scared…or if I should be laughing right now. Phyllis just turned all demonic on me.

"So, is that a yes?"

"Of course, Mr. Punk. It is a hell yes."

A/N: So…the next chapter will be Alana and Punk hanging out. Should be good.

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